Losing Control

by Jarman, Jessica

  She sighed. “Don’t walk all over my apology, Spencer Reed. I don’t give them often,” she admitted self-deprecatingly. “What Cal does with his business is…well, his business. I don’t know you well enough to make any kind of judgment about what you do. So, I’m sorry.”

  “Apology accepted.” He dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose. “Does this mean you’ll stop avoiding me now?”

  Maggie opened her mouth, but all words died in her throat as his palm ran down her back to settle just above the curve of her ass. With gentle pressure, he pulled her closer, and his hard length nestled against her belly. She clenched his biceps as her legs trembled beneath her.

  “I meant it,” he said softly. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

  “Yeah?” She bit her lip and looked up at him.

  “Oh yeah.” He smiled tightly. “I know you don’t want to get involved. Hell, I wasn’t looking to either, but damn, if I can get you out of my head.”

  Her stomach flopped again, and she pressed closer. Even though she knew it was a mistake, that nothing could come from whatever this was between them, she couldn’t deny that she wanted him. A helluva lot.

  “Careful,” he warned. “I think we might be moving a bit past innocent flirting here.”

  Maggie inhaled deeply. She should just walk away. The song was nearly over. She should thank him for the save and the dance, and walk as fast as she could away from temptation. She should—

  “Okay,” she blurted.

  “Okay?” He lifted a brow.

  She stepped back, grabbed his hand and, before she could talk herself out of it, hurried from the room with him in tow. Out of the ballroom, down the hall to a powder room. After shoving him inside the small room, she closed the door behind them and locked it with a click.

  When she turned toward him, she found herself shoved up against the door and Spencer’s mouth covering hers roughly. Burying her hands in his hair, she opened for him and nearly wept as his tongue swept inside. The taste of Spencer and champagne made her lightheaded as he inched her skirt up until his fingers met the skin above her thigh highs.

  “Damn, you and your stockings…” he groaned. “Sexy as hell.”

  Pleasure filled Maggie. The thought that something so simple drove Spencer so crazy was strangely satisfying. And helped her deal with the fact that he’d taken up permanent residence in her mind—at least she wasn’t alone in it.

  Lowering her hands, she ran her palms over his chest to tug at his tie. Her fingers trembled as she undid the top couple buttons of his crisp white shirt. She pulled away from his kiss with a gasp and immediately tasted the golden skin she’d exposed, licking along his collarbone.

  Spencer moved higher beneath her skirt and dipped his hand into the front of her panties, Thrusting a finger inside, he found her hot, wet and ready. Ready for him. Maggie circled her hips into his touch.

  “Wanted to do this slow…and maybe on a bed.” He chuckled.

  “No slow.” She nipped his skin.

  He quickened the motions of his hand. “Don’t want anyone to miss us, huh?”

  Honestly, that should be the reason for her impatience, but it wasn’t. She should care what the people in the ballroom thought of her and Spencer’s hurrying away, but in truth, she didn’t give a flying shit. Him inside her—that’s what she cared about, that’s what she was impatient for. Later… Later, she’d care, but not now. Not when his stroking fingers were already pulling her closer and closer to release. And that’s not what she wanted right now. Oh no, this time when she came, she wanted his cock inside her. She was tired of wondering how he’d feel, of feeling like she’d been deprived that first night when they didn’t make love fully.

  Maggie lifted her head and, flattening her hand on his chest, pushed slightly. “Please, Spencer,” she whispered.

  The corner of his mouth quirked up, and fingers still fucking her, he asked, “Please what?”

  “I need you.”

  He curved his fingers, and her head fell back against the door with a thud as he hit that sweet spot. The orgasm coiled tightly low in her belly. Her breath left her, and she spiraled through the hot release, her fingers clenching his biceps as she struggled to stay upright.

  Spencer pressed a kiss to her chin as he withdrew his fingers. Maggie couldn’t hold back the low cry that slid from her lips at the absence. He crouched in front of her as he worked her panties down her legs, lifting one foot then the other to free her from the garment. He straightened, pulling her skirt back up as he went. His hands gripped her ass, and he lifted. She wrapped her legs around her waist, and with him supporting her, she reached between them and made quick work of undoing his pants. Shoving them down just enough to free his cock, she wrapped her hand around his hard shaft. He hummed and nuzzled her neck as she positioned him at her entrance.

  Spence lifted his head and met her gaze before he slammed into her, hard and swift. And just like that, every rational thought disappeared. Everyone, everything vanished from existence. Maggie wrapped her arms around him and held on, wanting to be as close to him as possible, reveling in the feel of him moving inside her. The ache grew, centering in her core, then spread hotly to consume her. She tightened around him—her arms around his neck, her legs around his hips and her pussy around his driving cock.

  He leaned forward and took her mouth, his lips hard and demanding, without breaking the rhythm of his strokes.

  “Damn, woman,” Spencer gasped against her lips.

  “Don’t stop,” she answered breathlessly. “You…feel…so good.”

  Spencer moved his hands from her ass to roughly grip her hips, holding her firm as he pounded into her. Maggie cried out as the head of his cock kissed the mouth of her womb again and again. He filled her so completely, consumed her. She squeezed her eyes closed as liquid heat flowed over her, then pulled her under, surrounding her in the most intense pleasure she’d ever felt. With anyone.

  “Come again, darlin’. Come on,” he bit out. “Come around me again.”

  The desperate plea drove her up, and she shattered again.

  “Oh yeah, like that. Just. Like. That.” He thrust a final time, and with a hoarse cry emptied inside her. His head fell forward, and he buried his face in her neck as they trembled, wrapped around each other.

  Spence inhaled deeply, breathing in Maggie’s sweet scent. He pressed his lips to where her pulse jumped. Still holding him tightly, she ran one hand through his hair, fingertips dancing along his scalp.

  “We should get back,” he murmured against her sweat-dampened skin, then lifted his head to meet her heavy-lidded gaze.

  She sighed. “Yeah, we should.”

  The reluctance in her voice had his lips twitching up into a smile. He tightened his grip on her ass and lifted her. She unwound herself from him, and he set her on her feet. Her skirt fell around her legs in a whoosh, and Spence felt a jolt of satisfaction when she swayed slightly. Unable to resist, he bent forward and kissed her on the mouth, hard and quick.

  “Are we okay?” He trailed his fingers down her bare arm and gave her hand a squeeze.

  She nodded, but then sobered, biting her lip. “Spence, I don’t…”

  “Darlin’, we don’t have to analyze it all right now.” God, he could see her mind racing a mile a minute, trying to put everything in its place, and he was sure he wasn’t fitting in her life plan very neatly. Not by a long shot.

  “Shhhh.” He held a finger to her lips when she started to speak again. “No regrets, no analyzing tonight. Let’s just let this be what it is—us enjoying each other.” Tracing the outline of her mouth, he wished to hell they weren’t where they were, that he could take her again and again. “For now.”

  Without waiting for an answer, wanting to compose himself, he turned to the sink and made quick work of cleaning himself up and putting his clothes right.

  “I’ll head back first,” he said, facing her. Fuck him, his heart actually skipped a beat at the sight of her—
all rumpled, flushed, staring at him. “God, you’re beautiful.”

  She stepped forward and, licking her lips, reached up to straighten his tie. “You’re not so bad yourself. Now, go, so I can make myself presentable.”

  Before he could speak, she grabbed him behind his head and pulled until their mouths met. Her tongue swept through his mouth hotly, and his cock stirred. He wrenched away, rested his forehead against hers a moment.

  “Damn, woman,” he murmured.

  Her fingers tightened in his hair then she let her hands drop to her sides. “See you in there.”

  He nodded and stepped around her to the door. Unlocking and opening it, Spence looked back at her. “Save me another dance?”

  “You know what?” she said quietly. “I think I will.”

  Spence slipped from the room and closed the door behind him before heading back to the banquet room. He strode to the bar and ordered a cold one. As he raised the glass to his lips, Cal walked up beside him and, together, they watched the people as they talked, laughed, danced, and enjoyed themselves.

  “So,” Cal said, “do I need to give you the whole treat-my-sister-with-respect-or-I’ll-kick- your-ass speech?”

  “Nope.” His gaze zeroed in on the woman in question as she walked into the room. She stopped just inside the doorway and looked around until her eyes met his. Even from a distance, he could see her cheeks pinken, but it was the sweet smile that curved her lips that made him widen his stance to accommodate his responsive flesh. She took a step in his direction, but Kate stopped her, then dragged her laughing to the dance floor.

  “She looks happy,” Cal mused. “Good to see she’s getting past her aversion to dating an artist.”

  “We’re not exactly dating,” Spence quipped. “Haven’t quite cleared that hurdle. I’m pretty sure she still thinks we’re incompatible.”

  “Apparently not in every way,” his friend said dryly.

  “I’m not discussing that.”

  “Well, thank God for that.” Cal gave an exaggerated shudder. “You don’t think…what just happened changes all her incompatibility arguments?”

  “Nah.” Spence watched Maggie as she and Kate danced. Her swaying hips and shimmying body were giving him a whole host of ideas. He cursed inwardly at the hold the woman had over him in so short a time. “If anything, it’ll probably make her work harder to find someone who fits her perfect guy checklist.”

  “And you’re okay with that?”

  Hell no.

  He shrugged. “I can be patient. And I’m not going anywhere.”

  Cal slapped him on the back. “Good to hear. Now, I think,” he nodded toward where the guests were gathering, “it’s time for cake.”

  The two joined the group, and Maggie sidled up beside Spence. He looked down in surprise when she grasped his hand, intertwining their fingers. She smiled at him before turning her focus back to her brother and his bride. When she leaned slightly into him, Spence squeezed her hand and grinned. Yeah, whether she liked it or not, he wasn’t going anywhere.

  Chapter Six

  Spence lifted a hand and knocked. He stood outside Maggie’s office at the bookstore, balancing a box one-armed. Cal had asked him to drop it off on his way to pick up some lunch. Spence suspected it was just a way to get him to see Maggie. Cal had his matchmaker’s hat firmly in place. And Spence wasn’t above using that to his advantage any time he could. Cal saved him from making an excuse to seek her out. It’d been several days since the wedding, and while he’d wanted to give her a little space initially, it was clear he’d have to make the first step.

  “Come in.”

  Pushing the door open, he couldn’t help but grin at the sight of Maggie behind her desk, focused on the computer in front of her. A slight furrow between her brows showed her concentration on what she was seeing. When she glanced up, her lips opened in an “O” then she smiled.

  “Spencer, hi.”

  “Hey, Cal sent this over for you. Some books he borrowed a while back, I think.”

  “Oh, go ahead and just set it by the door.”

  Once he straightened, he noticed her looking at the screen again and shaking her head. “What’s up?”

  She pressed her lips together, staring at him a moment, then shook her head again. “It’s some of the responses I’m getting from…you know, the online thing.”

  He struggled to keep his expression neutral. “Ah, too many to choose from?”

  She laughed. “Apparently, I bring the freaks out. This guy here,” she gestured to the screen, “apparently wants to be upfront with me about his dating, and sexual, history. He then goes into specific details. I may need to scrub my eyes with bleach. This other guy, well, he seems… I don’t know. He talks a lot about his mother and how much he’d like me to meet her.”

  “Sounds a bit too Psycho for my liking,” he commented.

  “Right? But this,” she tapped a few buttons, “this is the gem of the week. ‘I notice in your profile you only have a headshot. Could you please send me a full-length photo of yourself? I’m not being perverted or anything, I swear. I feel I should be completely honest. I’m looking to settle down and start a family. I need to know the woman I end up with is in good physical health. As children in my family tend to be large, ten or more pounds at birth, having child-bearing hips is a must for my future wife. It would be very helpful if you could also include a detailed health history in your reply. I look forward to getting to know you.’”

  Spence’s lips twitched. “So when’s the first date? He sounds dreamy.”

  Maggie snorted. “This is the dating pond I get to fish from. Though to be fair, they’re not all like this, but damn, these are the ones that stick out.” Then she frowned and shut the laptop. “You don’t want to hear about this, I’m sure. I wasn’t thinking.”

  “Maggie.” He sighed. “You can talk to me. I thought we were past this awkwardness. I’d like us to be friends.”

  She tilted her head. “I don’t want to lead you on, and I feel like I’ve done just that. The first night and at the wedding… I can’t explain what happened. I was overwhelmed emotionally both times, thinking of Kate and Gabe and missing Dad… I mean, it’s not fair to you, especially if you want something more.” She stood and circled the desk to stand in front of it.

  “You overthink things,” he pointed out. “There isn’t any reason we can’t get to know each other, enjoy each other’s company. I’m here to stay, Maggie. It’s going to get awfully uncomfortable if you feel like you have to censor everything around me.”

  “You’d be fine with being just friends?” She looked skeptical.

  He shrugged and stepped forward, unwilling to voice his denial and his desire for much more than friendship. “Is that all you’re willing to give?”

  Spencer stopped when they were mere centimeters apart. Heat radiated off him and seeped into her. She rested her palms on his chest with the intention of pushing him away, but instead, ended up fisting the front of his T-shirt. God, she couldn’t think around him. And that was the crux of the problem. When he was near her, all her careful plans disappeared, and rational thought fled.

  “We can’t.” She cursed as her voice shook.

  “Why?” he asked, pressing even closer until her ass hit the edge of her desk. “You’re not involved with anyone else.”

  “Yet,” she insisted.

  “Yet,” he repeated. “If that changes, then…we’ll see.”

  “Why are you doing this?” she asked desperately.

  “I want you to admit that you want me.” He held her gaze, his eyes dark. “Don’t rationalize and blame it on something—your jealousy, your grief. Quit making excuses and admit that you want me.”

  “It could never work.” She shook her head, even as her heart raced and she yearned to wrap herself around him.

  “Oh,” he dropped a kiss on her lips, “I think we’ve already proved it can work. Very well.”

  “Not the sex part, idiot.” She couldn
’t hold back the quick laugh. “That part—” She stuttered to a stop as he pulled her blouse from the waistband of her skirt and started undoing the buttons. “Spencer, please.”

  He bent his head and ran his tongue along the curve of her breast above the lace of her bra. “Admit you want me, Maggie Monroe. Admit it.” His breath whispered across the damp skin, and she shivered deliciously.

  “Of course I do.” She gripped the edge of the desk, leaning on it as her knees buckled beneath her. “But that’s not the point. I’m not looking for just sex. I need…” Spencer moved lower and pulled her taut nipple in his mouth, suckling through the fabric. “Oh God.”

  He lifted his head and stared down at her. “Tell me to stop, darlin’. Tell me you don’t want this, and I’ll walk out the door right now. Say the word.”

  For a moment, only the sound of their quickened breathing filled the room. She should tell him to stop, and focus on her future—which he had no part of. At least not in a romantic way. But, saints help her, she couldn’t. She wanted him. At that moment, all that mattered, all that filled her mind was what was happening between the two of them. Shaking her head, she brought her hands between them and fumbled with the button to his jeans. He covered her hands, stopping her movements, and held her gaze. Then he let go and allowed her undo his pants. As she slid them over his hips, he gripped her elbows and took a few steps back, pulling her with him. Once his cock was freed, he lowered himself into the roomy chair facing her desk. The sight of his erection jutting up, thick and flushed, dampened the folds of her pussy.

  The urgency, the intensity of her desire rolled over her, overwhelming and exciting at the same time. Maggie kicked her shoes to the side and, reaching under her skirt, slid her panties down and off. Before she could straighten, Spencer cupped her face and pulled her in for a long, languid kiss. His tongue danced over her lips before delving seductively inside. She gripped the hem of her skirt and hiked it up so she could straddle him, never breaking contact with his mouth. The length of his cock teased her folds as she settled atop him. A zing of pleasure stabbed her core and spread rapidly.