Confession Of A Nerdoholic

by Savannah Blevins

  The impact was hard. A stone wall covered in flannel. I grabbed at the familiar fabric to catch my balance, but it was too late. I catapulted backward, landing on the hard concrete. The tights on my left thigh ripped against impact and so did the skin on my left hand. I clutched it against my chest, the blood sprinkling to the surface.

  “Elle. Are you okay?”

  Oliver. Of course it was him. Wasn’t he destined to witness every humiliating feat I’d ever accomplished? I warily glanced up. In the dim light of the evening, I barely recognized him. He wore the familiar red flannel shirt I liked, but he had on a jet black jacket with the hood pulled up. His shaggy brown hair was barely visible, cascading down around his glasses.

  “Yes.” I clutched my hand tighter to my chest. I didn’t want him to see it. “I was in a hurry. I’m sorry.”

  Oliver didn’t see my hand, not because of my stealth like concealment, but because his gaze was on my legs. The rip in the tights led up underneath my dress that just so happened to be jerked up high on my thigh. I reflexively pulled the hem down, and Oliver came out of his daze and held his hand out for me. I took it with my right hand and let him help me up. His smile was soft as he held me steady. “You know…there are better ways to say hello.”

  My cheeks lit up like fireworks. “Again. Sorry.”

  He was so close. So fatally close. His breath brushed across my hair. “Don’t be. Please. I was actually just thinking about you. Are you on your way to your class?”

  “Yes. And I’m running behind.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket. “I only have five minutes.”

  Oliver nodded. “I won’t keep you.”

  Yet…he didn’t move. He blocked my way. I could still see nothing but his perfect silhouette. He swallowed, his gaze dropping from my eyes to my lips then back again. “Would you like to study together again next week? I realized after the fact that we didn’t exactly set a time next week.”

  “Sure. When are you free?”

  I would be free anytime for him.

  “I have a chemistry experiment due Tuesday morning. I have to spend most of the day Monday in the lab. Tuesday afternoon?”

  I nodded quickly. “Okay. I finish for the day around three.”

  “I’ll be there.”

  “Great. I’ll bring my study guides.”

  He grinned and stepped out of my path. The view of the science building returned. “Good luck. I know you’ll do great.”

  I stuck my hurt hand in my pocket and picked up my backpack with the other. “Thanks. I’ll see you Tuesday.”

  His smile grew wider. “Tuesday.”

  I walked toward the building, but I could feel his gaze on me. When I made it to the steps, I stopped and turned around. Oliver still stood on the corner, watching me. He waved, and my heart…something inside of it I thought had died long ago started ticking again.

  I held it as I rushed up the steps to my class. Maybe Sloan was right. I wasn’t alone in the world anymore. There were other people now…people like her and Ava who were my family. They cared about me the way family was supposed to care about each other. I thought of Oliver as I sat at my desk. I had him now too. Nothing was permanent, but there were other people in the world who liked me.

  Me.

  Just the way I was.

  And that meant something. Something so much more important than this grade on my quiz. The nerves that plagued me in the cafeteria vanished. Failing anatomy wouldn’t be the end of the world. Maybe the end of my relationship with the only parent I had left, but maybe that was a good thing.

  No. It would be a good thing.

  I could pass anatomy. I could let my father’s influence on me go. I could talk to the boy of my dreams.

  I could do it all. Anything I wanted to do.

  I pressed my pencil to the paper in front of me, reading the first question. All I had to do now was prove it to myself.

  Chapter Ten

  CHEMISTRY LAB

  I made a B on my quiz. I was pretty ecstatic about it, despite the fact that it wouldn’t help me bring my grade up enough to please my father. Not that an A would please him. Nothing I did was ever good enough. I was my mother’s daughter. Nothing I could do would be good enough for Bartholomew Duncan, because every time he looked at me, he still saw her. The woman he couldn’t control. I was simply too much like her to be loved.

  Ava bumped into me, knocking me out of reverie. I’d been staring at my reflection in the window of the Student Services building. I could almost see my mother in myself, especially on days like today. The damp weather caused my waves to loosen, and the wind blew them haphazardly around my face. It reminded me so much of her. At least, what little of her I still held in my memory. It’d been so long since I’d seen her face, sometimes I feared I’d forgotten, and I was simply making up the details.

  That long blue sweater she always wore in the mornings that had a hole in the sleeve, stitched up with yellow thread. Was that real?

  “Hello,” Ava said, shaking my arm. “Earth to Eloise.”

  I blinked and turned around. “Sorry, I’ve been lost in my own thoughts all morning.”

  “Still celebrating your awesome quiz grade?”

  I faked a smile. “Something like that. What did you say you wanted to do before lunch?”

  Ava straightened her backpack. “I need to go by my biology class and pick up my homework. My professor is allowing us to use the study questions as prep for our test.”

  The word biology instantly perked me up. “What building is that in?”

  “Carver. Why?”

  A wicked smile snaked across my face. It was Monday. Oliver said he would be in the chemistry lab all day on Monday. “All of the science classes are in Carver, right?”

  “I think so.” Ava eyed me suspiciously. “What are you planning?”

  I shrugged. “Nothing. Simply hoping I might catch a glimpse of Oliver in his natural environment.”

  Ava smirked as we started walking. “Can’t make it until tomorrow for your fix?”

  “I’m not going to hunt him down. But if we happen to walk by his lab, it couldn’t hurt to peek inside.”

  Ava shook her head mockingly. “You’ve got it bad, Elle.”

  I followed Ava to the Carver building and upstairs to her professor’s office. The secretary said he was in his classroom preparing for his next lecture. We went back downstairs, and I peeked inside every classroom along the way, but saw nothing that looked like a chemistry lab. I waited outside the room as Ava went to see her professor. I stepped down the hallway to a set of windows. No other classrooms on this floor had windows. Sure enough, inside the room was a lab. Tables sectioned off with burners and beakers filled with odd colored liquids. Several students huddled around tables, some taking notes while others stirred bowls and measured out formulas.

  It was definitely the chemistry lab. But there was no Oliver to be found.

  I slumped against the window, disappointed.

  “Elle?”

  My hand clamped against the glass like a suction cup. I was wrong. Oliver was here. I just didn’t realize how close. I glanced over my shoulder, and I was sure I winced at the sight of him. I’d been caught red handed. “Hey, Oliver.”

  The boy had on a lab coat with protective goggles pushed up on his forehead, sending his hair in erratic directions. If they ever made a mad sexy scientist calendar, Oliver could be the cover. His smile was sweet, but surprised. “What are you doing in the science building?”

  I finally managed to turn my body completely around. I tried to say something. My lips moved to articulate the words, but my voice refused to participate. Ava came out of the room down the hall and I pointed at her. Oliver, waiting patiently for me get myself under control, followed my finger. “Ava,” I finally managed to get out. “I came with her. She had to pick up notes.”

  “Oh. So, does that mean you’re not in a hurry?”

  My brows twisted together, and he must have caught on to my confu
sion. He grabbed my hand. “I would love to show you around the lab, if you have time. Your friend can come along as well. I’ve been studying all day. I could really use a break.”

  My lips parted, my gaze dropping to my hand that he still held. Ava spotted us and laughed. I probably looked like one of those mimes you met on the street. Was I trying to get out of a box, or not hug him into a million nerdy little pieces?

  “I think we have time for that.”

  Ava’s gaze never left our connected hands as she approached. Her smile almost reached her ears. “Time for what?”

  Oliver moved next to me, his hand still clasped gently around mine. “I’m offering a tour of my lab. Interested?”

  My best friend instantly turned into a supervillain. She might as well have grown a mustache and twirled the ends as she stood over my bound body on the train tracks. “You know what, I would have really loved that, but my professor just asked me if I would drop this paper off to Professor Curry across campus. I bet Elle would love to, though.”

  Liar. Liar. Push-up bra on fire.

  How could I be angry at her, though? She was gifting me alone time with Oliver in his lab. I officially owed her something. Something really awesome.

  “Maybe next time.” Oliver adjusted his goggles, not really appearing too disappointed by Ava’s reply. “You ready?”

  I glanced between him and Ava. Was I ready?

  Ava didn’t think so, because she practically bubbled at the seams with laughter at my frantic, freaking out state. I straightened my shoulders and nodded. Ava gave me an encouraging nudge on the shoulder. “Talk to you later,” she sang, smirking triumphantly.

  I squeaked as Oliver tugged on my hand. He led me further down the hallway to the door. When he let go of my hand and turned around, I finally found my sanity again. At least, what little sanity I had left. “Are you sure I’m not interrupting your study day?”

  “Of course not. I’ve already successfully completed the formula three times today. I’ve mostly been goofing around for the last hour.”

  “Goofing around?”

  He opened the door and held it for me. “I know…those words and chemistry don’t go together, right?”

  I smiled coyly. “I reserve judgment. You think you can change my mind?”

  His gaze raked down my body from my head to the tip of my Emerald City green shoes. “I’m willing to give it my best shot.”

  He walked off toward one of the stations in the back of the room, and it was a good thing. I was about to rip that lab coat off him.

  We bypassed the other students in the classroom. None of them even glanced up as we swerved by their station. Oliver pulled an extra stool up to the long black counter then moved his backpack to the floor. “So, first things first. How did you do on your quiz?”

  I looked down, my fingers intertwining with the edge of my jacket. “I made an eighty-eight.”

  He ducked down to catch my gaze. “I really want to say awesome job, but you look disappointed with that.”

  “No. I’m not disappointed.”

  His brow creased. “Am I missing something?”

  I would not tell Oliver about my father. I couldn’t.

  “I would really like to bring my grade up as high as I can possibly manage by the end of the semester. An A on my weekly quizzes would go a long way toward that goal.”

  Oliver pursed his lips. “Okay. We can work on that, then. The goal for next week is a perfect score.”

  He looked utterly excited by the challenge. His eyes lit up in this beautiful, bright way, like they were on fire. That boy had a love affair with studying, and I was completely jealous. I scooted suggestively toward him. “Enough about me. When do I get this tour?”

  He leaned on the counter, his fingers reaching out to tip the empty beaker in front of him. “Give me five minutes.”

  I cocked my head to the side. “Why five minutes?”

  He nodded toward the group of students in front of us that busily rushed back and forth around their station. “They always leave at noon for lunch.” He glanced up at me, his smile something more than sweet. “Always.”

  I sucked in a breath. If they left, that would mean Oliver and I would be alone. In his laboratory. With that lab coat on and those goggles.

  Damn those goggles. They were worse than his glasses.

  I settled onto my stool, but Oliver didn’t sit. He remained leaned on the counter, closer to me. “So, how was your weekend?”

  I shrugged. “Long. Exhausting.”

  He appeared surprised. “Really?”

  “I worked all weekend,” I explained.

  His hand slid over in front of me on the counter. His eyes danced. “Where do you work?”

  I grabbed the edge of the stool, cursing myself. Why did I bring up work? That was the absolute last thing I should have brought up. I couldn’t tell him I worked at the bakery. I couldn’t tell him I was the cupcake girl. The humiliation would be too much. I relaxed my shoulders, attempting to appear bored and unrattled by his question. “The same place every other college kid works. I serve food to people.”

  “I thought I’d been to every restaurant in town. I haven’t seen you.”

  My heart thudded at a race horse pace in my chest. I had to get the topic off me and back on him. “Every restaurant in town? Don’t you ever eat at home?”

  He laughed. “I’m not exactly a good cook.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief when the other students started packing up their things. It caught Oliver’s attention and he forgot about his interrogation. I hated that I thought of it like that. Oliver simply wanted to get to know me better, and because of my crazy actions, I turned it into something weird. There was nothing I could do about it now. I’d given him the cupcakes.

  When the last student left the room, Oliver pushed back from the counter. “Do you like gummy bears?”

  “Umm…sure. Gummy bears are good.” They weren’t cupcakes, but they were sugar, so they were mostly acceptable.

  “Would you be offended if I violently destroyed one?”

  “Why would you squish a gummy bear?”

  Mad Scientist. Oliver was definitely a Mad Scientist. “I’m going to do something much worse than squish it.” He grabbed my hand and led me to the front of the room. “Can you get me one of the big test tubes?”

  “Sure.”

  Oliver crossed the room and unlocked a black cabinet in the corner. I brought him the test tube, and he poured a white liquid into it. “What’s that?”

  “Molten potassium chlorate. My task for the experiment tomorrow is to demonstrate a reaction. Some of the other students are doing simple things like Diet Coke and Mentos. And, sure, it’s cool. It will erupt like a volcano.”

  I watched him carefully as he closed the cabinet and went back to his station. “And what will potassium chlorate do to a gummy bear?”

  He appeared exceptionally pleased that I asked. “Oh, just wait and see.”

  He screwed the test tube into a metal holder and then retrieved a bag of red gummy bears from his backpack. He took one out and handed it to me. “Hold this a moment.”

  I cupped the bear in my hand while Oliver took a small flame from the burner and heated up the liquid in the bottom of the tube. Then he pulled his goggles down over his glasses and reached for the bear. He started to put it into the tube, but then paused, looking over his shoulder at me. “You should probably step back a little more.”

  I laughed. “It can’t be that bad.”

  Oliver physically moved me back three more feet. “Trust me on this one.”

  I stayed safely where he put me, and it was a good thing. Oliver pushed the gummy bear into the test tube and quickly jerked his hand away. As soon as it hit the white liquid, a giant spark erupted from the tube. And another. Red and pink fireworks sprang from the inside as the gummy bear cracked and popped like a kernel in a bag of popcorn. I scooted back a little more.

  “Holy crap. How did you know it woul
d do that?”

  Oliver shrugged like it was no big deal. “I did a little research.”

  “Of course you did.”

  The poor test tube continued to flame up, sparks flying out of the end. I worried it might take off like a rocket. It probably would have if Oliver hadn’t screwed it into the metal frame. “So, do you think that will get me an A over all those volcanic Mentos?”

  “Definitely.”

  The reaction finally burned out, leaving nothing but bits and pieces of what appeared to be white foam in the test tube. He carefully touched the glass to check if it was still hot. “I’m really glad I ran into you today.”

  “Yeah?”

  He didn’t look at me, but I could still see his small smile as he unscrewed the tube from the frame. “Yeah. I’ve been looking forward to our study session tomorrow.”

  “You really do love to study more than anyone I know.”

  He took the tube over to the sink and turned on the water. He glanced over his shoulder at me, pulling his goggles up so I could see the seriousness in his eyes. “I think you’ve misjudged my intentions.”

  No, I hadn’t. I only wanted him to call me out on it. Oliver Edwards’s intentions were crystal clear in the way he looked at me. He studied me like one of his books. His speculative gaze lit my skin on fire.

  The door opened behind me. It was the only thing saving my libido from taking my common sense hostage. More students were back from their lunch. “Hey, Oliver,” one of the boys in the back yelled. “Would you help us with our Briggs-Rancher Reaction?”

  Oliver’s lips went into a straight line as he turned the water off. “It’s Briggs-Rauscher.”

  “Yeah. Yeah.” The boy ran a clueless hand through his hair. “Can you help us?”