My Dirty Detour: An Alpha Male Mafia Comedy Romance

by Grace Risata

  “This is a two part surprise. That goes with this next part. I know you and how you worry about stuff. I want you to be able to relax with me in the bedroom and not have it in your head that I might secretly have a disease. So I dug that out to give you proof that I was clean. The next part…well, I was thinking about you and I asked myself, ‘What does my Violet want?’ I ran through several options. Maybe lingerie and kinky toys? Some dildos or a nice thick vibrator? Whips and handcuffs and spankings? No, baby. I know what you want.”

  My eyes widened in utter horror. I was way out of my comfort zone here. I should have known better. If you want to run with the big dogs, you have to be prepared. I’m not ready. This just cements the fact that he was too wild for me. I’m a giant pansy. I was ready to bolt for the door until I saw what he had behind his back and I realized how truly well he knew me. Never was there a more welcome sight in my life – he held up a bottle of chocolate syrup!! I let out the breath I didn’t even know I was holding and erupted in fits of laughter.

  “You don’t know how relieved I am right now,” I managed in-between gasps. “I was afraid you were going to pull out a giant purple rubber cock and I was going to have to make my escape. Please…don’t ever do that to me again!”

  He laughed and said, “I’m sorry, but it was worth it to see your face. That was priceless. I was originally going to show you the test results and then explain it was safe to lick this stuff off any body part that you felt necessary. The speech about the vibrator and whips just came to me on impulse. Too much, huh?”

  “Well, a bottle of chocolate syrup sounds tame after all that. It’s going to be messy though. What’s the plan?” I needed a plan for everything. I was a giant pansy, in case that part got missed.

  “The plan is that there is no plan,” Rocky replied.

  “Ok, fine,” I said, “I’ll take the bull by the horns. Or in this case, by the balls. “Right this way, sir.” I beckoned for him to follow as I grabbed the syrup and proceeded to the bedroom.

  As I suspected, he was right behind me. A plan was forming in my head. After the shitty evening of fighting with my mom and almost having a heart attack about Rocky’s surprise, I really needed to lighten up and do something crazy to relieve some stress. I think I had just the trick. It would take my mind off things and prove to Rocky that I was a worthy companion.

  I turned around as we approached the door to my room. “I’m sorry, but this border is a clothes-free zone. Please strip naked.” While still clutching the syrup, I took off all my clothes too. I figured I had to follow my own rules, so as not to be a hypocrite. Rocky complied by removing all his clothes and following me in. He closed the distance between us and tried to pull me close.

  “Nope. Back off. Last time we were in here, you got to make the rules. I heard ‘No touching me because you’re going to finish this before it starts.’ Well this time I get to do ALL the touching and you get to lay there and do as you’re told.”

  Rocky opened his mouth to protest and I put my finger to his lips. “You want to play dirty? We’ll play dirty. You don’t know who you’re dealing with.” One glance down at his cock confirmed that he did indeed want to play dirty. It was standing fully erect waiting for the fun to begin. I knew he liked being bossed around. Well, I could handle that. I told him to stay still and not move until I gave him permission. I set the syrup down on my nightstand and went to my walk-in closet for an old comforter that I could easily throw in the wash when the performance was over. I spread it over my bed and walked back into my closet. Hmm. What did I have to enhance this evening’s entertainment? Ah. This should do. I put on a pair of the best shoes I had. They were black stilettos with heels about five inches high. If they couldn’t be classified as “fuck me shoes” then nothing could. I could never wear them in real life because I would fall and break my neck. I found them at a thrift store and they were only three dollars and so, so pretty. It looks like my investment was finally going to pay off. Anything else I could add? Yes, I think we have one more item we can add to set off my ensemble. I had a black pinstripe fedora with a white band that looked exactly like something a 1920s gangster would wear. The hat was part of a Halloween costume from a party Stella threw last year. I always liked Halloween and dressing up.

  I heard a loud cough from my bedroom and realized that my little trip down memory lane was making my guest a bit impatient. Oops. I put the hat on and smiled. Thankfully the matching long pearl necklace was hanging on the mirror in my room. I thought the beads would make a nice decoration. I just had to put it on without him seeing. I called out into the other room in a serious voice, “Shut your eyes and don’t open them until you’re told.” I grabbed a white and blue striped silk scarf and went to meet my destiny. Shit was about to get real.

  I poked my head out of the closet to find him still standing there with his eyes closed. I grabbed the necklace, put it on, and started swinging it around like a policeman with a billy club. The other hand held the scarf, hanging down at my side. “Open your eyes,” I ordered in a low voice, as sultry as I could manage. I’m sure it didn’t come off that way since “sultry” was not usually a tone I possessed. My voice generally went from whiny to nasally. Whatever. There was no room for self-esteem issues tonight. I was in charge.

  Rocky opened his eyes and his mouth dropped open. He took in the sight of me from head to toe. “Holy Fuck!” he declared. Ahh, sweet victory. He was already eating out of the palm of my hand.

  “What did I say about talking? No talking. No touching. No doing anything unless you’re expressly given permission. Do I make myself clear?” Damn, this dominatrix shit was FUN! I’m bossy so it came pretty naturally. Rocky continued to stare at me and slowly nodded his head in agreement, a wide grin beginning to spread across his face. I slowly strolled over to him, making sure not to trip and kill myself with these damn shoes. I don’t know how strippers manage; it’s definitely an acquired skill.

  I got two inches from Rocky’s face and licked his cheek. I went behind him and whispered in his ear, “If you behave yourself and follow the rules, I’ll show you things you’ve only dreamed of.” There was no way in hell that was going to happen, but as long as he thought it might….well that’s good enough. Seduction is all an illusion anyway.

  I licked his ear and moved my way back toward his front. I lightly bit each of his nipples and massaged them with my fingers, pinching until they were standing at attention. One look down confirmed there were other parts still standing at attention, too. I cocked my head at him and ordered, “Go lie down on the bed and put your hands behind your head.” He complied and raised his eyebrows as if awaiting my next command. I followed him and tried my hardest to climb on the bed while looking sexy at the same time. I don’t know if I pulled it off or not. I put the scarf on the bed next to him and flung one leg over his body to straddle him. I remained about three inches north of actually sitting on his junk. I didn’t want things to go too fast. After all, I was making shit up as I went along.

  I leaned down with my tits hanging over his face and asked him, “Do you want to taste them?” He nodded his head instead of speaking out loud. Damn, he was good at following orders. I didn’t want him to beat me at my own game. I sat back and purred, “Too bad. This isn’t about what you want. It’s about what I want to do to you. And right now I want to make you crazy.” I ran my strand of pearls up and down my breasts until my nipples took notice and perked up. I took a breast in each hand and asked him, “Does watching me touch myself make you hard? Answer me out loud.” At this point I was just trying to imitate porn movie crap and work with the props I had at my disposal.

  “My God, woman, you have no idea how hard I am right now,” Rocky panted. Well, then we better find out. I reached my hand behind me and felt a rock hard prick ready for action. Ok then. I’ve ignored him long enough. Time to bust out some real moves.

  I spun around so that my back was turned to Rocky, but I still straddled him. I slowly slid down so that
my pussy was in front of his face and my legs were spread wide open in front of him, just out of his reach. I had an up close and personal view of his giant cock. It was pretty thick and looked like a penis. Not much else to describe really. It was circumcised and rather large, otherwise nothing noteworthy. I appreciated the fact that it wasn’t very hairy, because it would soon be in my mouth. I took it in my hands and stroked it from tip to shaft with one finger, very slowly. Behind me I heard Rocky inhale deeply. “I wonder what this tastes like?” I whispered. “There’s only one way to find out.”

  I took the tip of my tongue and gave the top of his cock a quick lick. He tensed up and I took that as a sign to continue. The hat threatened to fall off my head, so I threw it in the corner. I ran my tongue up and down his whole length, only licking and kissing but not taking him in my mouth. I felt his hot breath tickling my thighs and then his hands were on my legs, spreading them even further.

  “Whoa. What the fuck are you doing? The rule was that there was to be no touching!” I reprimanded him as I sat up and turned to face him. I shook my head in disappointment and wagged my finger at him. “Now you have to be punished.” I crawled down in between his legs and said, “I’ll have to keep my eyes on you, to make sure you behave. But I don’t want you watching me suck you off. Close your eyes.”

  He pouted, but did as I instructed. I watched the expression on his face as I again took him in my hands. This time I shoved him all the way in my mouth as far as I could without gagging.

  “Fuck,” he uttered under his breath. I sucked on him like he was a popsicle going in and out of my mouth, while my tongue moved in a pattern on the underside of his cock. He opened his eyes to watch, like I knew that he would. I immediately stopped what I was doing.

  “No, don’t stop,” he begged. “I’ll keep my eyes closed, I promise.”

  “We both know you won’t. I’m going to have to take drastic measures,” I scolded. I inched my way up his body and grabbed my scarf that was next to him. “You didn’t take the easy way, so we’ll have to do this the HARD way.” I tied my scarf around his eyes like a blindfold. It was blue and white striped and pretty thin, so I’m sure he could see right through it. I only went around twice and didn’t tie it. I had other things to do.

  “Stay here,” I ordered as I walked over to my dresser and pulled open a drawer to grab a condom. I didn’t know if I’d need it later and it pays to be prepared. I placed it on the nightstand within easy reach and grabbed the bottle of syrup I’d stashed there. Should I warn him first? Nope, we’ll go with the element of surprise.

  I popped the top on the syrup and squirted it all over his chest.

  “Ahh, that’s cold!” he yelled. I took my finger and spread it around on his chest, making sure to completely cover each nipple. I poured some in my hand and smeared it all over his cock.

  “Mmm…much better,” I declared. I climbed my way back into bed and started licking the chocolate off his chest. This shit tasted really good! I’m glad he got the good stuff and not some lame generic crap. I licked and sucked and ate my way past the nipples and right on down to the main reason we were here. It tasted much better covered in chocolate. The fact that my hands and face were smeared with chocolate and completely slippery…well, let’s just say that didn’t hurt anything either. He was too big to fit entirely in my mouth, so my hands took up the extra length that wasn’t covered.

  I sucked and licked and stroked in a rhythm that started slow and eventually sped up. The faster I got, he started to moan and plead and beg, “Don’t stop, whatever you do or whatever I do, please just don’t stop. This is fucking amazing, keep going, yes…YES…ah FUCK…you’re going to make me come…”

  He ripped off the blindfold and grabbed my hair with both his hands. I tightened my grip on him and kept doing exactly what I was doing that had gotten him to this point.

  “Right now, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!” he screamed as warm wet fluid spurted into my mouth. There was a lot of it, and I had about an eighth of a second to have an internal “spit or swallow” debate with myself. I had no place to spit, because none of this was exactly planned. I just tried to keep it all rat-packed in my cheek while still licking him with my tongue. I made some “Mmm” sounds to be polite and then I made my exit to go to the bathroom.

  My ass almost hit the floor after trying to stand up in the heels of doom, but somehow I caught myself and found the sink to quietly spit a mouthful of jizz down the drain. I had to hold back the laughter after getting a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My face and hands were covered in chocolate syrup and it was starting to run down my arms. I was a complete mess! I washed my hands, and after a lengthy mouth scrub down with toothbrush and toothpaste, I was as good as new.

  I ripped off my heels and made my way back to the bedroom. I’d say that turned out perfect. Well, until I saw Rocky sitting up in bed hanging his feet over the side with his head in his hands looking despondent.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked full of doubt. He came in a fit of glory, how could it not have been good?

  “I’m so sorry, Violet. I didn’t mean to…I meant to stop before it reached that point.” He hung his head in shame and refused to make eye contact.

  “Ok. Honesty and communication here. What are you sorry for, exactly?” I had absolutely no clue what he was talking about.

  “I came before I could stop myself. I know some girls freak out about that…you always have fifty-two rules for everything and it was not discussed beforehand. I wanted to get you off too. It’s just…you were SO FUCKING HOT with nothing but the hat and the heels and being so dominant. It was sexier than hell,” Rocky stammered.

  I sat on the bed next to him and kissed him on the cheek. “Dude, you have nothing to apologize for. Nothing at all. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s not the first blow job I gave, you know. I knew it might lead you to blowing your wad in my mouth. Who cares? I’d rather have it there instead of all over my bedroom floor or something. It was my idea to be dominant because I figured out you get off on that. I like being in control anyway. As for the rest of the outfit, I just played it by ear. Turns out I’m kind of spontaneous after all. I’m just trying to keep up with you. I’ll see your chocolate syrup and raise you a blow job. How am I doing?” I smiled up at him and tried to wink.

  He shook his head in disbelief and stared at me. “You never cease to amaze me, Violet. I am completely shocked. I have no idea how little miss I-need-a-safe-word, could put on a performance like that! You just blew my mind. I would never have expected this at all.”

  “What can I say? I’m a lady in the street and a freak in the sheets!” I laughed until my sides hurt. “You know I’m not really, right? I just happened to hit on one good strategy. Don’t expect this all the time. And you’re still not shoving anything up my ass, so don’t get any new ideas.”

  “Ok, ok, nothing up your ass. Seriously, this was pretty one-sided tonight. I mean I had a hell of a turn, but you’re walking away from this with nothing,” Rocky said, looking guilty.

  “I’m not walking away with nothing. How could you say that? The look on your face tonight was priceless. When you saw me in my little outfit, or lack there-of, and it made you lose control and erupt with wild abandon. That’s what I got out of this. Knowing that I can elicit that response from you…that just skyrockets my self-esteem right to the moon. Believe me, I got plenty out of tonight,” I admitted with a smirk. “Besides, you can make it up to me with a quickie tomorrow.”

  “No, I think I can make it up to you right now. We’re both sticky and we need to take care of that. Come with me. It’s my turn to take care of you.” Rocky took my hand and led me to the bathroom. He took my pearl necklace off and started the water for the shower. After it was warm enough, he held out his hand and we went in. The shower was hot and steamy and we were inches away from each other. He stroked my cheek and leaned in for a deep passionate kiss. I was very grateful I took the time to brush my teeth. He broke the kiss and ran his
hands through my hair, making sure it was wet. “I want to wash you,” he murmured, grabbing the soap. He lathered me up from head to toe; making sure to avoid the part that I most wanted him to pay attention to.

  “I think you missed a spot,” I gently reminded him.

  “No, I’m pretty sure I know exactly what I’m doing here,” he whispered in my ear. He grabbed the conditioner bottle off the shelf and poured a quarter sized drop in his hand and rubbed it through my hair. After realizing that my natural curls sucked up conditioner like they were dying of thirst in the desert, he got another handful. “Turn around,” he nudged. I spun around to give him better access and I leaned my head back as he massaged my scalp. It was amazingly relaxing. From the sound of the water hitting the floor like a rainstorm, to the feel of the water droplets cascading down my body, to the way Rocky’s hands massaged slow circles at my temple…I didn’t know what I liked the most. I was enjoying all of it.