by Naomi Niles
Taylor
I turned from my computer to see Dylan standing in my doorway. I’d thought I’d heard a knock, but wasn’t sure. He’d only taken a few days to recover from his concussion and was back at school by the time Friday rolled around.
“Hi.”
I’d enjoyed my time hanging with him with week. He was smart, funny, and nothing like what I thought he’d be from what he looked like. He wasn’t dangerous, at all. No, he was a sweet guy and I was beginning to have feelings for him. That was bad. He was so amazingly off-limits to me.
We lived in the same house. If I got involved with Dylan, my father might kick him out. So, I’d decided that I had to avoid him.
But he was so cute and had been so sweet to me. Even with his concussion, he was still helping me with math. I might even get a B this quarter.
“Hi,” I said back.
He shuffled his feet, looking nervous, which made him even cuter. The boy was asking me something that was important to him. I gave him my full attention.
“Uh, it seems that I’m going to compete in this weekend’s mathlete tournament.”
“Nice.”
“Yeah, one of the other guys is sick so they asked me. I’m not sure I’m prepared, but I’ll do what I can.”
“That’s great, Dylan. Good luck.”
He grimaced. “The thing is, I wondered if you would come watch?”
Watch a mathlete tournament. I hoped my face didn’t show that I wasn’t interested, but then again, this was important to Dylan. Even if I didn’t love the idea, I should go. I planted a smile on my face. “I’d love to. Where is it?”
“It’s at our high school this time,” he said. “This morning. I’m on my way there right now, but it doesn’t start until ten.”
“I can do that, Dylan. I’ll be there. Do I need tickets?”
“No, it’s free.”
“I’ll bring Helena.”
His face lit up. “It’ll be nice to have people other than parents in the audience,” he said.
Oh. Brother.
I called Helena, who was still the only friend talking to me. As if everyone hadn’t been mad enough before, now with Greg getting charged with assault, they were all even more pissed. Though, his friends had squealed on him to get reduced charges.
Whatever.
“Hey, home girl,” Helena said.
“You want to go to a mathlete event this morning at the high school?”
“Sure. I got nothing going on.”
“Good. I have the car back, so I’ll pick you up at 9:30. I can’t imagine we’ll have trouble getting seats.”
Boy, was I wrong. The auditorium was packed. I glanced at Helena. “Who knew this was a big deal?”
She laughed. “Well, I’ve been to one of these before. I just never asked you because I figured you’d laugh. Then Dylan came into your life and you’ve loosened up a bit.”
I had to laugh. “Between most of my so called friends being mad at me, I’ve had to expand my horizons.”
“Andm you get to spend more time with me.”
We found two seats in the middle and sat in them. “I know I’ve been a horrible friend to you. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Just don’t throw me over when Bailey and Barbie come back.”
“I won’t. In fact, I hope they don’t come back. I still have to see them at cheerleading, but that’s it.” I laughed. “The best part is that they have to listen to me since I’m captain.”
She laughed. “You are probably enjoying that too much.”
The house lights dimmed and the competition started. The crowd cheered like it was a football game. I looked at Helena, who seemed to be just as excited as everyone else. This was too weird – even for the new me.
I wasn’t sure what to think. I didn’t know any of the kids on the stage besides Dylan. I also didn’t know anyone in the audience. Helena and I were in a sea of strangers and I wasn’t sure I liked it.
Finally, there was an intermission. I hadn’t cheered once. I probably should have gotten into it more, but this was not my crowd.
Helena and I purchased, sodas then went back to our seats. “I don’t really get the excitement in it,” I commented.
“You don’t get it? Or you don’t understand the questions?”
“Either. I don’t even know why the answers are right, so how can I get excited?” I said.
This wasn’t my thing. I just had to admit it. I wasn’t this smart, and I wasn’t comfortable around people this smart. Who knew Dylan could kick such academic ass.
I looked for him, but the mathletes didn’t come out into the lobby. At half time, the coach gave the football team a pep talk. Did the mathletes have a coach, too? I had no idea about any of this, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
Give me a good athletic event and I could tell you all about it. I had to know when to cheer, so our faculty advisor had taught us about the various sports. Each year, the new cheerleaders had to go through it.
It would be embarrassing if they cheered for the wrong team.
“Uh, I don’t think I want to stay for the second half,” I said.
“You aren’t having a good time? Not even watching Dylan?”
I didn’t want to admit it, but I was uncomfortable with how smart he was. Maybe we wouldn’t make a good pair.
As much as he’d been sweet to me, he probably knew that I wasn’t very smart. Not just in math, but overall.
“Not even watching Dylan.”
“I’ll find a ride home, Taylor.”
“You mad that I’m ditching you?”
“As long as it isn’t for the B girls, then no.”
***
I went home to do some homework and laundry. I’d been doing my own laundry for years. I think my mother was ready to be done being a mother. Sad, really.
I hoped that if I had kids, I wouldn’t be finished before the kids were.
I sat in the laundry room reading the latest by Christina Paul on my Kindle. I loved historical romances. My phone rang – Dylan. What was I going to say to him? I couldn’t ignore him. He knew that I always kept my phone with me.
“Hi, Dylan.”
“Hey, Taylor. I’m sorry you left.”
“Yeah.”
I could hear cheering in the back. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought he was a at a basketball game.
“We won.”
“That’s great, Dylan. Congratulations.”
“It is. I answered the winning question.”
Wow. He was that smart. “That’s great.”
“You don’t sound excited.”
“I’m sorry. I just can’t get that excited.”
“If I’d made the winning touchdown, you’d be screaming. In fact, if it had been a sport, you would have stayed for the whole thing.”
He wasn’t wrong. I was a terrible person. Most of it was because I wasn’t smart. I never would be. I was good at science, but not genius good. Just good. “I guess I’m just more into that than this.”
“I thought you were different, Taylor.”
“I thought I was, too. At least, I did go. Don’t I get credit for that?”
“There are no points in life, Taylor. It’s about feelings.”
He’s talking about feelings? What the hell? How was I supposed to handle that? “I don’t know what you want me to say, Dylan.”
It isn’t like I was actually his girlfriend or anything. I was just some girl he lived with, some girl whose dad took him in. I didn’t want to fight with him, but I didn’t understand what he wanted from me.
“I want you to be happy for me.”
“I am.”
“You don’t sound it. You sound bored. As if my accomplishment isn’t good enough for you.”
I wanted to scream. This conversation was getting out of hand. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”
“I’m not good enough am I? I won’t ever be,” he said.
He sounded angry now. Now I
’d done it and I didn’t know how to fix it. I’d made him mad. “I’m sorry, Dylan. I just don’t get it. I don’t know.”
“Thanks, Taylor. Thanks for putting a damper on one of the best days of my life.”
I wanted to reach through the phone and hug him. “I’m sorry. I really am.”
“No, you’re not, Taylor. If it doesn’t fit into your idea of the world, then you aren’t interested in it. I get it. I won’t bother you with my stuff anymore.”
“Don’t be mad, Dylan.”
The phone went dead. He probably didn’t hang up, but my battery died. I raced upstairs to get my charger. I plugged in my phone and called Dylan back. He didn’t answer. It didn’t go right to voicemail, though, so I knew it was still on.
I left a message. “Dylan, I didn’t hang up. My battery died. Please, call me back.”
Worst case scenario, I would wait until he came home and I could talk to him, but this situation seemed more urgent than that. Maybe he needed a ride home.
I sent him a text. “Please, call me. My battery died. I didn’t hang up.”
No answer. I stared at my phone, but Dylan didn’t call back. I’d really done it this time. How was I going to fix this?
Normally, I would have talked to Daddy, but I didn’t want him to suspect that I had feelings for Dylan. He’d make him go away and everything was going so well for him. I couldn’t risk him going back to the trailer.
I sniffed. Tears had started to form and a lump in my chest made it hard to breathe.
I called Helena.
“They won,” she said.
“Dylan called me. And, I wasn’t excited for him.”
“You’re a bitch, Taylor.”
“I know. How do I fix this?”
“I don’t know that you can. It was a pretty big win for him. You should have tried to be more excited. His face fell when I told him that you left.”
I fell onto my bed. “I’m the worst.”
“Well, yes. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. You are.”
“That’s why you’re my best friend. You always tell me the truth.”
“You’re going to have to do a lot of groveling. Why aren’t you excited?”
“I hate to admit it, but I’m jealous.”
“That you aren’t the center of attention for once?”
“No, that I’m not as smart as he is.”
“Why does that bother you?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. It never did before, but I’ve never known anyone as smart as Dylan. Other than my father.”
“I think you’re going to have to do some grand gesture to make up for this.”
“I will figure this out, Helena,” I said.
“I know you will. The team is going out afterwards. You have a little time.”
“Thanks, Helena.”
I disconnected then went to Dylan’s room. Maybe something in there would give me an idea of what to do for him. On his desk, I found a wish list. He wanted to build his own computer, it looked like.
I took a picture of it with my phone. I just had to figure out what some of those things were and buy him something. Maybe if I got him closer to his dream computer, he’d forgive me.
It seemed important to him and he was good at programming, so maybe this would work. I still didn’t know what the items on the list did, but I could go to a store and I’m sure someone could tell me which one was important.
Meanwhile, I’d let Dylan calm down.
Chapter Seventeen
Dylan
Only Mr. Dean was home when I was dropped off. Maybe Taylor was hiding because her car was in the driveway, but I didn’t see her. That was fine. I didn’t want to talk to her, anyway.
I thought that I had her support and I didn’t. My feelings were hurt, but I could suck it up.
Mr. Dean was in the kitchen, his nose in the refrigerator. He straightened when I walked in. “Hey, how was the tournament?”
“We won.”
His smile was large. At least he was happy for me. “Let’s celebrate. Just us guys. Burgers.”
“I’m in.”
Like I was ever going to turn down food. “I’ll grab my keys. I have no idea where the ladies are, but they’ll have to miss out.”
He patted me on the back as he went by. I met him at the garage door. I was already dressed nicer than I usually dressed so no need to change. He smiled again. “How does it feel, Dylan?”
“Pretty good.”
“Good.”
We drove to a burger joint. The place wasn’t packed yet, but it would be. It was Saturday evening. My stomach, of course, was empty, even though the team had gone out for pizza earlier. We were seated quickly and ordered just as quickly.
“So, Dylan, have you thought about what you are doing after high school?”
“Well, I’d like to go to college, but I don’t think I can swing it. It’s hard getting aid. My mother has already said she won’t fill out the form.”
He shifted in his seat. I wondered if he’d orchestrated all of this to put me on the spot. I didn’t have too many answers for him right now. I was still on a high from the tournament.
“I see. You are eighteen. Shouldn’t that count?”
“It doesn’t. I looked into it. Even at this age, I still need to be emancipated from her for her income not to count,” I said.
I’d done the research out of desperation. The answers hadn’t pleased me. “Then you should do that.”
“I don’t have the money, sir. It costs a minimum of seventy five dollars.”
“I can spot you the money. Really. It would be an investment.”
I shook my head. This man had already done so much for me. “I can’t ask you to do that. You took care of my hospital bill. You’ve taken me in and bought me clothes.”
“It’s my pleasure, Dylan. I think you’ve been a pretty good influence on Taylor. You’ve opened her eyes to a different side of life. I know that I’ve sheltered her, but now she knows not everyone lives that way.”
I shrugged. I didn’t want to talk about Taylor, but I didn’t want him to know that. He might read into it. He might think I have feelings for her. Which I did, but he didn’t need to know that.
Mr. Dean went on. “That wasn’t the reason that I took you in. No, I saw something in you And, I was right. You’re a good kid in a bad situation. Your mother is doing better. She should be out soon. What will you do?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Yes, you have a choice. You’re eighteen. Even if you can’t get financial aid, you can choose where you live.”
“You’d let me stay?”
I didn’t want to leave the Dean household. It was the most stable environment I’d ever been in. I knew where I was going to sleep each night. I knew that I wasn’t going to be hungry. And if I was, the kitchen was stocked. No need to dumpster dive. I had hit the lottery when I chose Mr. Dean’s car to steal.
“Of course, Dylan. It’s your choice, but if you stay, I need something that says I’m your guardian. I don’t know exactly what you call it, but it means that I’m taking care of you financially.”
The waitress put our burgers in front of us. I didn’t know what to say. “You’d do that? I just assumed that once my mother was out, you’d want me back with her.”
“At this point, Dylan, you might as well stay until you graduate. Unless you don’t want to stay?”
“Of course, I want to stay. My life is so different, and I can get my homework done. And don’t have to worry about anyone stealing my stuff because I didn’t lock my bedroom door.”
“That happened?”
“Yes.”
I took a bite of my burger, embarrassed that I had shared that with him. He wouldn’t judge, but I was still ashamed. I wondered if I would ever stop feeling that way.
“That sucks, Dylan. I can see why you don’t want to go back. You don’t miss your mother?”
“No, I don’t.” I put down my burger. “This might so
und strange, but my mother never had my back. You do. Taylor does.”
“My wife does also, in her own way.”
“She did take care of me while I had my concussion,” I agreed.
Mr. Dean nodded. “She did. She’ll come around, I promise. Your mother never had your back?”
“No. If something happened, she always sided against me.”
“That’s not right.”
“I didn’t think so, but that was all I knew.”
“Well, I have your back. We all do, Dylan. Never worry about that. I will also be forever grateful for what you did for Taylor. She’s naïve and that’s my fault. I never warned her well enough about guys like Greg.”
“She hasn’t seen the darker side of life.”
“No, but we always want better for our kids. At least, parents should.”
I hadn’t had a chance to talk like this to Mr. Dean before. I was enjoying my evening. This might be the best day I’ve ever had in my life – I had the man across the table to thank for that. “I don’t see myself having children, but if I did, I’d want them to know that I was always there for them.”
Mr. Dean slapped me on the back. “You’ve got a long time before you have to think about kids.”
***
Two days later, I picked my mother up from the rehab facility. She looked better than I’d seen her look in years. I didn’t know yet how I was going to tell her that I wasn’t coming back. She might be devastated, and I’d feel guilty.
Or she might be happy, and then I’d feel like shit. It was a bad situation either way. I borrowed Taylor’s car. Mr. Dean had suggested it and asked her. I still wasn’t talking to her, and she was giving me space. Or she didn’t give a shit. I didn’t know which one it was.
Not my problem. She needed to apologize, not me.
I grabbed my mother’s suitcase while an aide wheeled her to the door.
“I’m so excited to be out of there, Dylan. It got so boring.”
I had no idea how she was going to pay for it all. I’d expected her to be thrown out sooner since she didn’t have any insurance. To my surprise, they let her stay. The bills were her problem, but I felt at least partly responsible.
Mr. Dean said that I shouldn’t worry about it. This was her issue and I shouldn’t let her hold me back.