Instead of replying to me, he smiles and takes a sip of his drink. In the meantime, I lean closer to the coffee table and grab a chocolate chip cookie. They’re still hot from heating them in the microwave oven. The chocolate bits melt in my mouth.
Spencer watches me eat before saying: “You’ve made me jealous. I’ll have one too.”
As he leans over the coffee table himself, I grab the chance to observe him. His red hair is the prominent characteristic of his body. Short but stylized, a stubble on his face and a pair of green eyes make him an impressive man. He seems to work out - a lot - but his hands have a delicate sense in them.
He certainly is attractive, but he doesn’t have the same “predator” vibes other men do. I enjoy talking with him, and it’s really easy for me to open up to him, something I’m not used to.
Spencer moans as he tastes one of the cookies. “They’re delicious, right?” he says and smiles at me.
I nod and make sure I smile back. His grin is warm and welcoming; I don’t know what has gotten into Jacob. Spencer is very likable, a man I would love to have around, especially since he’s amazing with house decoration.
Right about then, his smile suddenly fades. He stares at me, through me, behind me. His lips part slightly like he wants to say something but the words don’t seem to come. I don’t have to turn around to figure that Jacob finally decided to join us downstairs.
“Good morning,” Jacob says, his voice hoarse and void of any sentiments. He’s still upset for God-knows-what.
“Good morning, Jacob. Did you call your mother?” Spencer mutters.
Jacob nods but doesn’t continue the conversation. Instead, he sits next to me on the sofa and immediately kisses me on the mouth passionately. I have to push him away to make him stop.
“Jacob, stop that. We were having a conversation,” I say, trying to set him straight.
“I’m sorry. Last night wasn’t enough for me,” he says, loud enough for Spencer to hear it too.
My face reddens from embarrassment; I want to kill him. “Jacob, please. Behave. You’re making Spencer uncomfortable; you’re making me uncomfortable,” I say.
Once again, Jacob gets sullen over my words and hunches his back. Is he mad? Sad? Confused? Upset? Happy? Turned on? I have no fucking idea what’s going in his mind today.
“So, would you like some coffee? Hot chocolate?” Spencer breaks the awkward moment, ready to jump to his feet.
“Uh...don’t worry. I’ll pour some myself,” he replies to him before standing up again.
“Honey, can you please fill my cup as well? I’m out,” I say and pass it to him.
He smiles and nods. “A hot choc for the sweetest wife on this planet,” he mumbles while heading to the kitchen.
I turn to face Spencer, a big smile on my face when I notice something extremely odd. Is he checking out Jacob’s ass?
I freeze in my place, unable to stop watching him until Spencer’s muscles twitch. When that happens, I lean forward, seemingly grabbing another cookie. My moves are sloppy and hasty; I’m trying to cover my uneasiness and I end up toppling the plate on the floor.
“I’m so sorry. I’m such a clutch.” We both spring up on our feet and bend to pick up the wasted cookies.
“No, no. Don’t worry about it. It happens to me all the time,” he says, smiling at me in the process.
My hands have a slight tremble from the shock; I’m trying to hide it by putting them in the pockets of my sweatpants. I’m standing on my feet, unable to make a move, to say a word, when the realization finally hits me.
Is Spencer gay? Is this the reason why Jacob feels uncomfortable around him? Did Jacob get away from him due to his sexuality? Also, did he dare check out my husband’s butt in front of me?
I don’t know if I should be offended by him or Jacob, but right now, I’m in need of some air. And since the blizzard is going at it hard outside, my best alternative is visiting the bathroom.
“Excuse me, Spencer, but I have to head upstairs for a moment. I’ll be back in a minute,” I say before heading away from the crime scene.
On my way up, my mind is filled with thoughts of guilt for both sides. There’s a high chance I misinterpreted the situation. The worst thing, though, is that I don’t know who is right. Is Jacob too harsh with his friend or is Spencer too clingy?
Either way, I need to have a moment to think this over; this is going to be an awkward night.
Chapter 4
JACOB
Why did I agree to stay here? Fighting the blizzard barehanded it’s starting to seem alluring. I thought that by having sex with Kim last night all these thoughts of sleeping with Spencer would go away. But, I was wrong. It’s like his presence has haunted my mind and I can’t stop thinking how he looks under these heavy clothes; if he still has the trimmed hair all over his chest; if he has a boyfriend.
Not only that, but Kimberly seems to have made it her life’s work to bring us back together and fix our relationship. However, she doesn’t know the true extent of our previous relationship, and I’m not sure learning it now would be a good solution.
When I saw them giggling like two old friends gossiping about the past, I froze. For a second, I thought Spencer had spilled the beans to her, that Kim knew about him being gay and all. But when we kissed in front of him, Kim didn’t seem to know.
And now I’m in the kitchen, alone, staring the open cupboards for five minutes without making a move to grab the coffee, trying to figure out what’s going on here.
“It’s in the right corner,” Spencer’s voice suddenly comes from behind.
I jerk from his sudden appearance. “Spencer,” I mumble, “what are you doing here? Where is Kim?”
“She’s visiting the bathroom,” he replies to me, his voice low.
“I see. So, you came here to make sure I didn’t lose my way back?”
My comments don’t seem to affect him. “You’re childish, Jacob. You’re trying too hard to get away from your past that you’re making me feel embarrassed for yourself,” he continues calmly.
“You’re in no position to look down on me. Everything that might have existed between us, is over,” I say and slam the cupboards close after grabbing the coffee.
Spencer doesn’t talk for a moment, but instead, he’s just watching me try to find his coffee machine. “For someone who says that everything is over between us, you certainly seem upset, Jacob. It’s right in front of you, like everything else you’re trying to avoid,” he says, leaning against the doorframe.
I sigh and place my hands on the counter. “It has been too long since that time, Spencer. Too fucking long. I have a life now, a wife. I would rather she never found out about my past,” I speak.
“Our past, you mean. You weren’t alone those nights, Jacob. Unless there’s something I have to know, as well,” he says and gets closer to me.
I can feel his presence behind me, the warmth of his body engulfing mine. What’s wrong with me? Why can I not resist him?
“Don’t worry Spencer; you’re the only guy I ever fooled around,” I admit and turn to face him.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t calculated how close he really was. When turning around, I pump onto him and almost toss him on the floor. My instincts kick in and I grab him from the waist to stop him from falling. However, this move brings our bodies even closer.
We’re now a breath away from kissing each other, and I can’t seem to pull away.
“Are you okay?” I mutter. He nods. “I didn’t mean to push you,” I continue.
“I know. Don’t worry,” he replies to me.
I have forgotten how it feels to touch another man. Even though the basic feeling is the same as touching a woman, there’s a roughness, a raw strength that’s different. I can’t pull my hands away; I don’t want to pull my hands away.
“I’m fine now, Jacob. You can let go,” he finally says.
His eyes blink fast and he blushes while I’m trying hard not to get drowned
into his lewd lips.
I take a step back and let my hands fall to the side. I’ve lost control and I’m spiraling into an abyss of second thoughts and fears.
“You look good,” it’s the only thing it seems to fit in this situation.
He lowers his head and scratches the back of his neck. “Thank you. You too. And Kim seems like a great woman. I’m sure you have a good time together,” he mutters.
He doesn’t want to say it to my face, but I think he’s trying to bring up last night. Somehow, the thought of me sleeping with Kim brings me back. I’m starting to be more in control of my feelings.
“Yeah, we do have a good time. She’s intelligent, good looking, and understands me. I think I got lucky I met her when I did,” I reply to him.
Around that time, Kim starts calling for us from the living room. “Jacob? Spencer? Where are you guys?” she says.
I feel relieved; Kim is my way out of this weird situation. “Well, this is our cue. It was nice clearing up the waters with you, Spec. Thank you for having us here,” I say and grab my mug and fill it with the hot, black liquid.
It might be just in my head, but Spencer suddenly seems sad our little moment is over. Maybe I was a bit harsh to start with. I don’t know.
“Don’t worry about it. If it wasn’t for you, I would have been in a pretty tight situation myself. I should be the one thanking you,” he says.
Since he doesn’t make a move to return to the living room, I take the lead and make my way out; I wish things could have been different, but they are not. Spencer is gay and supposedly single, while I’m straight and married. No matter what the situation, things wouldn’t work out between us. That was the reason why I left him back then.
We also live in different states. The more I think about it the better it makes me feel for doing what I had to do six years ago.
“There you are, boys. Did you catch up you two?” Kim welcomes us with a broad smile.
Spencer, following me behind, answers the question for me. “Yeah. Jacob was telling me how great wife you are,” he says and heads straight to his spot on the sofa.
Kim sits next to him and I beside her. Unlike before, the atmosphere feels lighter. I might be able to enjoy our time here after all.
***
The day went by too fast. We talked about our lives, our plans, what changed since we were younger - about everything. Spencer has matured, changed to a man with clear goals and big dreams. Kim seems to has taken a liking to him, and Spencer seems to feel the same way about her. They were constantly talking about her ideas about decorating our apartment and Spencer was providing her with more inspiration.
It was a relaxing afternoon between friends. I hope we had started on that page since the moment we met, but some things aren’t so easy to be uttered without first warming up to each other. Later on, we cooked lunch and dinner, and after a late night discussion, Kim and I headed to our room.
Kim didn’t seem to have realized anything about the kind of relationship Spencer and I had during high school and the blizzard had already started to subdue. Tomorrow morning it’ll be safe for us to continue our journey.
However, there is still tonight.
During the day, it might have been easier to fend off Spencer’s charming personality and fit body, but now that the night has fallen once again, my mind can’t stop jumping back to that moment in the kitchen. We’re both grown men now, experienced, matured and self-aware.
Is it too bad that I’m curious to find out what else has changed with Spencer?
Has his dick grown? Did he grow hair down there? Is his ass tighter than before?
All these questions swirl inside my mind and I can’t help but feel aroused. And the worst part is that Kim is long asleep. I’ve been horny since our interrupted moment this morning, and now I need to get off so bad that I can’t sleep.
I have to do something since tomorrow is going to be a long day, with meeting the family and spending the day with them finally. In cases like this, a shower seems alluring enough to make me get on my feet before I even have decided it. I grab a towel and a pair of clean boxers and I head to the bathroom.
The house is creaking from the continuous winds whipping its walls. It’s warm in here; Spencer is probably running the heat throughout the night. It’s dark but I remember the basic layout of the house; I’m able to find the right door with ease. However, I’m so lost in my own thoughts that I don’t notice an important thing.
The lights in the bathroom are on.
When I open the door and the light hits me, I know it’s too late already. And unfortunately, this isn’t one of those times the shower curtains are closed; Spencer is standing in the middle of the room, stark naked and wet.
Water is dripping from every part of his body and he seems to have the same problem as me; his cock is semi-aroused, making it seem bigger than it already is.
“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” I start saying, only to be interrupted by him.
“In or out, Jacob. It’s freezing,” he says as he covers his body with a long towel.
In the pressure of the moment, I decide to sneak in. I could have walked out, I could have returned back to my room and jerked off in the picture of Spencer’s well-built body, but I couldn’t resist.
When I close the door behind me, I know things aren’t going to turn out well.
“What do you want?” Spencer asks me right away.
“I couldn’t sleep. I thought having a shower would help me,” I reply, muttering in the process.
“And why you didn’t knock on the door? You hoped you would catch me naked? Is that it? Because if that’s it, make up your fucking mind, Jacob. You can’t do whatever you want with other people’s lives. I might not be married, but-”
“I couldn’t sleep because I was thinking about you, Spencer,” I finally say.
My words seem to throw him off course. “You...were...thinking...about...me?”
I nod. Without saying much, I get closer to him, removing my shirt in the process.
Spencer, the towel still hanging around his waist, puts out his hand and stops me. “Are you sure this is what you want, Jacob? Your wife is sleeping next door,” he says.
I don’t reply to him. I’m close enough now to smell his shampoo; God he smells good. My breaths get faster, shorter; I feel like I’m running a marathon. I can see that Jacob is feeling the same way as me, only that he has better control of his feelings.
He passes his hand around my waist and gently pulls me closer to him. By then, I have no idea of what’s going on. The only thing I know is that I have to kiss him. If I don’t, my heart will blow up and I’ll die on the spot from heartache.
As our faces get closer to each other, a spark of lust makes me eager to go on with it.
I take one last step in and finally kiss him. Spencer tastes so good. He always did. The feelings I thought were long gone begin to flood my body, my mind in this sweet reunion.
The creak of the door opening comes from behind us the same time our lips connect. It takes me a second to realize that somebody stands behind me.
Looking like a mesmerized sheep, I turn around to find Kim, hands crossed over her stomach, staring at us in silence.
“Kim! What are you doing here?” is the only thing that I am able to say in this situation.
“You tell me, Jacob. What the fuck am I doing here?” she replies to me with an ominous voice the likes I’ve never heard before come off her sweet lips.
“Kim, please. I can explain everything to you,” I say, but it’s too late.
Kim has run off straight into our room.
Chapter 5
KIMBERLY
People experience trauma in different ways. Some scream and break things to alleviate their stress, while others suffer in silence, trapped in the prison of their own thoughts. I feel I'm standing somewhere in between. I want to scream, to kick both of them out in the blizzard, but my natural reaction seems to be the one I so much
hate: I endure and wait.
I don’t know what I’m waiting for. Surely, Jacob will barge in the room in a second and start sputtering out excuses about what he did, and why he did it. And I’m supposed to stand there and wait for him to finish before I can tell him to fuck off. But this feels more and more like a dream.
I knew Spencer was gay, but who would have thought Jacob, my husband, has the same preferences? We’re married, for God’s sake. Even if he’s bisexual, shouldn’t I have known? I feel betrayed.
My mind is stuck in that scene of intimate fondness between them, kissing half naked in the bathroom. This looked like the wet dreams of every gay teenager in the world, but I had to experience it in real life. And no matter how hard I try, I can’t blame anyone.
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