The Non-Silence of the Lamb

by Luke Brown

  “Well, if it’s not you, then it must be me.”

  “Oh my God! I’m so sorry to hear that. Don’t tell me. Gena caused it? I knew one day they were going to gang up on you. You should have called me earlier. Maybe I could have helped. You know what they say about marriage, right? It’s a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. No, my brother, I’m just kidding. You did the right thing. To be honest, I found a nice lady here in L.A., and as soon as I can, I’m going to make her my wife. Things are still kind of tough, so I can’t do it just yet. But soon, I might be doing a little private thing myself.”

  “Great! I now believe that when you find the right woman in your life, you should give her the honor and respect that is due to her.”

  “When did you find that out? Yesterday?”

  “You got me there. But it’s never too late to do the right thing, as Gena would say.”

  “True. Congratulations. I wish you lots of luck and prosperity. I only wished that I could attend, but this job is a new job, and I’m not taking any chances with it.”

  “That was what I wanted to find out. I’m calling everyone early so they can request time off from their jobs. I know that it will be kind of difficult to make it happen.”

  “No, man. I have to be honest with you. I’m very happy for you, but I won’t be able to make it. I’m so sorry, my brother.”

  “No problem, Junior. As I said, I understand. I have to run. I’m still making calls to everyone to let them know. So, bye for now. Love you, my brother.”

  “One love, my brother. Jah bless. Seen? You done know. Ya, man.” Junior spoke like a Rastafarian, but he had never been a dreadlocks. He always said he was a true Rasta man in his heart, but he didn’t have to wear natty hair or long dreadlocks to prove it. Only Jah knew his heart.

  After they had hung up, Bunny proceeded to call Karl in Florida. “Hello, Karl, this is Bunny. How’re you and the family?”

  “Hello, young man. How’re you? Thank you for asking. My family was doing good the last time I spoke to them. Remember, they’re still right there in Jamaica. I’m the only one here. I see them every six months or so. And you, young man? How’re you doing?”

  “I’m fine, my brother. I just called to see if you would be able to attend my wedding on May twenty-first of this year.”

  “Let’s see, today is January twelfth. That means you gave everyone less than five months to hurry and get themselves rearranged so they can drop everything to attend your wedding? Who came up with that date? I’m sure it wasn’t you, because I know that you know better than that.”

  “Maybe I got you at a bad time, my brother, but I just wanted to know if you would be able to come to the wedding.”

  “I’m sorry, nothing personal, but I’m stuck here in Florida. It has nothing to do with work or the short time that you gave. I have some things I have to take care of before I do anything else. It’s just one of those things. However, I wish you lots of luck with your wedding celebration. Have a good time, okay, brother? Sorry I can’t make it.”

  “Okay, brother, I understand—more or less. Life throws us these curveballs every now and then. Say hello to the wife and kids for me. Bye.” Bunny hung up.

  Bunny started realizing that this calling thing wasn’t easy. He thought of calling Lela in Washington, but the last call with Karl had drained him of all his energy. He would have to call Lela another time. Besides, Lela—like Karl—was most likely tied up and wouldn’t be able to attend. She hadn’t returned to Jamaica since she left ten years earlier. What made him think that a poor man’s wedding was going to make her revisit Jamaica at this time?

  The story was once told of a groom who took his wedding vows very seriously, so to speak. At a wedding rehearsal, he approached the clergyman with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you one hundred US dollars to change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I am to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.” He passed the clergyman the cash and walked away very satisfied.

  It was the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom had reached the part of the ceremony where the vows were exchanged. When it came time for the groom’s vows, the clergyman looked the young man in the eyes and said, “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely, beautiful wife that you will not ever even so much as look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”

  The groom gulped, looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes.” The groom then leaned toward the clergyman and hissed, “I thought we had a deal.”

  The clergyman put the hundred dollars into the groom’s hand and whispered, “She made me a much better offer.”

  The big day that Bunny and Joyce had been preparing for had come. It was May 21 at 4:00 p.m., and the Montego Bay Seventh-day Adventist Church, one of the largest SDA churches in the area, was packed with wedding guests and regular church members. As many of Bunny’s family members as could make it were there, including Essie, Gena and her children, Myrtle, Dr. Leonard and his wife, a coworker of Dr. Leonard, and his female friend from Florida.

  Everything was going in order as scheduled. Dr. Leonard stood in the back or vestry of the church, trying to keep Bunny calm. He seemed to be overcompensating for his years of not seeing or spending time with his younger brother. Every time Leonard spied a little bead of sweat on Bunny’s face, he pulled out a white handkerchief and nobly wiped it away. He overplayed his role on purpose in order to properly measure up to the honored role of best man. He wanted to be the best best man that his little brother could have ever asked or wished for.

  When he and Bunny stepped out into the front of the church from the vestry, they could see the cheerful faces of Essie’s family, but more than anything else, they could see the tears flowing down Mrs. Essie Brown’s face. She was crying tears of joy to see her last little wash belly giving his vows to his own family.

  Mrs. Essie Brown always cried at weddings. Most mothers cry occasionally at weddings, but Mrs. Essie Brown was unique in that once she started crying, she never really stopped until the wedding ceremony was over. Sometimes even during the happy reception party, she still had tracks of tears running down her face. Anyone who didn’t know her would think that she was sad and was not enjoying the occasion.

  When the piano began to play the “Wedding March,” she started sobbing openly. As the bride began walking down the aisle in her beautiful, flowing white wedding dress, one like Gena had dreamed about, Mrs. Essie Brown stood up to admire the bride even with her obvious tracks of tears. Gena tugged on her dress and told her that it was best if she took a seat because her teary eyes were not appropriate at this time, along with the fact that she was the only one standing.

  After a brief marriage ceremony, the minister said, “By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your bride.”

  Mrs. Essie Brown, still in tears, stood up and began clapping her hands enthusiastically. Half the congregation followed her lead, and they, too, stood up and started clapping their hands in celebration of the newly married couple. Mrs. Essie Brown was very emotional at her kids’ weddings, and she was not afraid to show it. She couldn’t control the heavy tears that displayed her high level of joy.

  Essie had displayed the same manner of affection and emotion at Leonard and Dolcina’s wedding, which was held two years after Leonard and Dolcina graduated from St. John’s University. They were still living in New York at the time, so they elected to conduct their wedding at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church of God in the White Plains area of the Bronx. The church was fairly full with guests of the bride and groom.

  Most of the guests who had traveled a long distance to get to the wedding were members of the bride’s family. They came from London, England, as well as Kingston,
Jamaica. Dolcina’s mother, Mrs. Garwood, had lived in Battersea, London, for most of her life. Comfortably retired, she lived in a lovely little flat in one of the newer developments in that area. The oldest of her two daughters, nicknamed Tat, but whose true name was Claudine Garwood, also lived in Battersea with her husband, Grant. Tat’s daughter, Paulette, and grandson, Jonathan, also lived with Tat in Battersea. They all traveled to the United States for the first time to attend Leonard and Dolcina’s wedding.

  Dolcina’s cousin, Novia McDonald-White, nicknamed Dawn, also attended the wedding. She lived in Jamaica and was an Air Jamaica air hostess. She traveled from Jamaica to New York for the wedding with her husband, Gerald, and daughter, Grace.

  Leonard’s family in attendance consisted of all those who were already living in New York at the time: Gena, Lela, Myrtle, Mrs. Essie Brown, and most of Essie’s grandchildren. Both the bride’s and the groom’s families were sitting all together on the right side of the church in the front row.

  Leonard and his best man, Andre White, were in a private room of the vestry of the church. Upon hearing their cue, they both entered the front of the church to stand beside the pulpit, where they were expected to wait patiently for the bride to walk up to the front through the main central aisle.

  As soon as they reached the center of the podium, where they stopped and faced the audience, Mrs. Essie Brown stood up and started sobbing. “Oh, my son is getting married. May God bless and keep them …” But Myrtle, soon thereafter, grabbed onto Mrs. Essie Brown’s dress and gave it a gentle tug, indicating that her mother should sit down and not draw so much attention to herself.

  She sat down at the gentle urging of her daughter, but she continued crying softly while whispering to herself. “May God bless him and his soon-to-be wife so they may have many, many children and grandchildren. Lord, you know that they can afford it. Lord, bless her womb, so they may give me many, many grandchildren, I pray, Lord.”

  Then the bridal song started to play, and Dolcina entered the church and began walking down the aisle. Mrs. Essie Brown sprang to her feet again, this time to admire the bride in her lovely, flowing white gown. Myrtle tugged on her mother’s dress once again, and Mrs. Essie Brown complied and sat back down in her seat. After a somewhat long ceremony, the minister said, “With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

  As if on cue, Mrs. Essie Brown sprang to her feet and started clapping her hands vigorously. Almost the entire church stood up and followed her lead, clapping and cheering. Myrtle tugged on her dress once again, indicating to her that maybe it was time for her to take her seat, but this time Mrs. Essie Brown was in no mood to comply with Myrtle’s or anybody’s wishes. She wasn’t willing to entertain any restrictions at all at this point. She was happy, although still in tears, and she wasn’t going to contain herself any longer. With a joy like this, the world should know how she really felt. She was ready to let it all out, like a BP offshore oil well that will not stop pouring it out—at least, not by any simple means. It would stop flowing when it was good and ready. Mrs. Essie Brown was letting all her emotions out that day right there in the church, and no one was going to stop her—at least, not by any simple means.

  She was letting the world know how she felt about her son, who had grown up to be a pharmacist and was now about to start his own family. She was crying tears of joy, and she would only sit down when she was ready. Long after everyone else had sat down, Mrs. Essie Brown was still standing, clapping, cheering, and praising God for her son and new daughter-in-law.

  Mrs. Essie Brown had a soft spot in her heart for weddings. When Karl elected to have a small private ceremony after Gena insisted that he should get married, Mrs. Essie Brown cried heavily at his wedding also. There was only a handful of guests at the small church in Rose Hall. It was mostly family members and a few close friends present—just the way Karl wanted it.

  However, when the minister said, “You may kiss the bride,” Mrs. Essie Brown burst into tears of joy. Mrs. Essie Brown loved to see her children take that matrimonial vow. It meant that there would be more grandchildren on the way, and it pleased her heart to have lots of grandchildren. It was either that, or there was something much deeper that had to be explained psychologically from other elements in her past.

  Chapter 26

  The day before Mrs. Essie Brown emigrated to the United States, she called all of her children and grandchildren and set up a clan meeting. She was like an ordained African tribal chief holding a mysterious ancestral clan meeting about the passing of the torch and telling secret, cryptic traditional narratives of their forefathers and predecessors.

  They all met together at her home in Glenworth to discuss some issues that were important to her. Among other directives, she wanted everyone to be aware of the fact that, although Myrtle was already away in the United States, the house in Glenworth was hers.

  Essie made it clear that she didn’t have a will yet, but if she should die on that same day, the house and everything within it would automatically be owned by Myrtle. She also made it clear that if she should die and leave a will behind, she would like for it to be read in the open over her dead body. She wanted to make sure there would be no confusion over her dying wishes.

  Mrs. Essie Brown also pledged to everyone that she would be enlarging the house in Glenworth. She would construct a second level on the top, and it would look beautiful. She promised in her family briefing to do this the first chance she got while living in the United States. This meant that fixing up the house and taking it to another level, literally, was at the top of her agenda as she left for the US the following day.

  Living in the United States was more exciting than she had ever dreamed. Mrs. Essie Brown gave thanks for her life in the concrete jungle, New York City, where the coldest day of the year—in January—averaged 32.1 degrees Fahrenheit, and the hottest day— any given summer day—was greater than 90 degrees Fahrenheit.

  Mrs. Essie Brown was very happy with her life. She felt that living in the United States justified her uphill, hard-knock life and the tiresome work she had done. She also reflected on the fact that her daughter Gena was truly a miracle baby.

  She was very happy that she had heeded Reverend Paul Murray that day when she was sitting on the wall in downtown Montego Bay. Many decades later, Mrs. Essie Brown believed Reverend Paul Murray was truly sent by God to solve her sterility, and ultimately all of her other problems. Mrs. Essie Brown thought that God sure had a funny sense of humor. She believed God’s ways were not always typical, but God was always right.

  Just like Karl, who inarguably got the anti-country gene from his mother, so too, Gena categorically got her gift for cooking from her mother. The only problem was that she only cooked once a year, and that was on Thanksgiving Day. Ever since Gena had made it to the United States, she never took the Thanksgiving holiday tradition for granted.

  Thanksgiving Day made her reflect on her past and remember with gratitude how far she had come. She thought about the uncanny story that Essie had told her about her father, the Reverend Paul Murray. She thought about how her mother had struggled with her to survive.

  She thought about the time when a vicious tyrant of a girl who lived in her apartment complex used to terrorize Myrtle, Betty, and her every day when they had to pass through the gate to go to school. She thought about the endless mishaps in her life that had made her believe that she would not live to see a brighter day.

  She also thought about the different homes the family had lived in and how many times they had to move. They were often forced out because some disgruntled, selfish man didn’t need her mother’s love or relationship anymore. She thought about the time when someone rudely threw a container of urine in her mother’s face because he wanted her to leave the home where they had been staying.

  It happened when Gena was sixteen years old. Because of financial hardship, her mother was considering giving up her apartment and moving in with M
r. Livingston. She had given her landlord notice, indicating that she would be moving out within three months.

  Essie later shared some of the details of the relationship with Gena, although she didn’t know all of them at the time. While Essie and Mr. Livingston were dating, Essie used to visit his home quite often. They had a good relationship, but it was a relatively new relationship, so they spent most of their time getting to know each other. He knew that Essie had eight children, but he never really paid any attention to that part of her life. He had never visited her apartment, but he had met a few of her kids at different times and different places.

  Since Essie was living on a very small salary and an even smaller savings account, which was rapidly dwindling, she started getting worried that eventually, she might not be able to pay her rent and take care of the kids’ basic daily needs. Therefore, she went to Mr. Livingston to ask him a bold question. But before she did so, Essie made sure that she satisfied his sexual appetite.

  She dressed up in sexy white short pants, which just barely covered her feminine assets. She also wore a matching white spaghetti-strap blouse that was so thin, her breasts stuck out prominently. She took Mr. Livingston by his hand, led him into his bedroom, and securely locked the door behind them. She slowly undressed him item by item until he was totally nude. She then instructed him to lie on the bed while she paraded around the room like a Victoria’s Secret model.

  She took off her blouse and continued to strut around the room while he watched her with lustful eyes. The sight of Essie’s big, sexy breasts and sexy body was more than Mr. Livingston could bear. His body was pulsating to the beat of his heart. He beckoned to Essie to come and join him in bed, but she didn’t.

  Instead, she continued to parade around the room. Then she walked up to him and kissed him lightly on the top of his head. When he moaned for more, she sat beside him. “My dear love, life is getting so hard on me. I was wondering if I could stay here a while until I can get myself together.”