The Night Within Us: Dark Vampire Romance

by Sylvie Grohne

  I can see Noah is trying to make sense of my words, trying to understand what I'm attempting to convey to him.

  “They didn't want something like this to happen. They only wanted to keep you away from me to protect themselves. If I had died they would have been destroyed. I only just found out from my father.”

  He looks at me as if I've completely lost my mind.

  “From your father? Amy, I can't follow.”

  On a sudden whim, I reach for Noah's hand and quickly lay it on my stomach before he can pull it back again.

  The questioning look on his face first turns into disbelief and then an incredulous shake of the head.

  “This can't be.”

  “But it is,” I whisper as his familiar scent gets under my skin and I suppress the need to move in closer to him. “Can you hear them?”

  He nods and gulps. Wordlessly he closes his eyes, only to open them again seconds later and stare at me. This time with a candid depth in the blue of his iris, as if he has drawn back a curtain. A depth in which I've lost myself so many times before.

  “There are two.”

  “They're our babies.”

  “But how. . .” He breaks off and now lays his second hand on my belly too.

  “They're like us,” I say gently. “They shouldn't exist, but they do. It happened on the day I had your blood in me. That's why I wouldn't let you get near me anymore. The watcher, the white angel I saw after you disappeared – he cast a protective spell over them. I just don't understand why he didn't simply tell me, or us; why we had to lose one another.”

  Noah looks at me thoughtfully, although without taking his hands off my stomach.

  “Maybe he didn't say anything, because otherwise something in our destiny would have changed, which shouldn't have been changed.”

  “But why do the watchers chase you your whole life long, and then turn around and protect our babies? It just doesn't make sense.”

  “It was never any of us. He was tricked. The watchers who were chasing him were allies of Lucifer.”

  The unfamiliar, sonorous voice in the room almost scares me to death. Noah, too, tears his hands from my belly lightning fast and immediately takes up a defensive stance. I recognize the form descending the spiral staircase, beyond a shadow of a doubt, as the white angel from that night, only I can't see his wings now. Like a monk in a plain, white robe he strides toward us and throws back the hood which was pulled down low over his face. With a serious expression, he looks Noah dead in the eye.

  “It was no coincidence that your father Ohajah remained alive and was able to father a child. You of all people, who are so familiar with the twists and turns of fate, should know God leaves nothing to chance.”

  “I don't understand. What does this mean?” Noah's face is pale.

  “It means that it is part of his plan, his plan to make his peace with humans. You were chosen. You are the messengers, the promise of a new age. The fertile ground through which humans can one day win the war against evil.”

  “What are you talking about? What plan? What do our babies have to do with it?”

  Noah says exactly what I'm thinking, and I'm surprised at how calm I remain. Maybe the shock of the past few hours still sits so deep within me that there's no room for new bad tidings and therefore they don't really reach me.

  With a gesture of regret, the watcher raises both arms.

  “I can't tell you any more than that. In truth, I've already said too much. Watch out. The underworld will do all they can to kill your children if they find out of their existence. And they will find out, sooner or later. The hunt for you will seem harmless in comparison.”

  “Wait! You can't just throw something like that at us and expect us to be satisfied with these answers. What if we don't like this plan?”

  “Don't waste your energy fighting what is destined for you. You're going to need your strength.”

  “No, I won't accept that. I have questions and I want answers!”

  Noah grabs for the watcher's arm, but his form completely dissolves beneath Noah's touch and he disappears.

  “Damn it!” Noah turns to me, cursing, runs his hand through his hair and looks at me with blazing eyes.

  Suddenly fear grips me by the neck. Fear that he'll go, that he'll leave me because he can't get the picture of me and Aven out of his head. It will probably haunt me my whole life long too. Fear that the chaos and confusion has torn us apart for good and even the life within me can't change anything about that. What if Noah doesn't want to accept his fate and wants to rebel against it?

  I breathe gently to calm my fears. I can't hold on to him if he wants to go. No matter how my heart might cry out for him. If he wants to go, then I have to let him. Even if I myself can't yet comprehend the magnitude of these things, there's one thing I feel for sure: this life within me is a wonder. An inconceivable wonder, that I of all people carry life within me, where I only ever thought there was death. Let them use the term destiny for it – to me, the love I feel for Noah is alone the source of this life.

  “I understand if you need some time,” I try to break the silence between us.

  “You think I need time?” His voice is emotionless.

  “I don't know. . . I just thought. . .”

  “Yes, I need time.” He gives me an earnest look.

  “Okay. . . I can. . . I mean I'll. . .” I stammer as I try to control myself and not let my pain show, but he interrupts me.

  “In fact, I need loads of time. . . with you.”

  I hold my breath in disbelief as I look at him and wonder whether I have understood his words correctly. And then he's already right by me, laying his hands on my face as if he wants to read what is written on my soul.

  My heart completely loses its rhythm and now beats way too fast and hard in my chest. There are definitely no feelings of aversion left in me. I enjoy being close to him, and he seems to feel the same, because he doesn't make any move to let me go.

  The unborn children know it's not necessary to keep him away from me anymore, now that I know about them and how fragile they are. They know I would do anything to protect them.

  He takes his hands from my face and lays them on my belly, which from the outside betrays nothing of my pregnancy. I almost wish I was showing already, just to make it even more real to me.

  “It's unbelievable,” he whispers barely audibly and shakes his head slightly. “When did you find out?”

  “I only found out today too,” I reply. Of course I could tell him I heard it from Aven and that he came by this knowledge through his bite in the library, but that wouldn't do anyone any good.

  “You mentioned your father before. . .”

  “Yes, I could see him and hear him when I was underwater. It was so—”

  “Shhh, wait. . .” he interrupts me and closes his eyes, an expression of concentration on his face.

  His knowing smile when he opens them again reveals that they told him about my father in their own way.

  Noah's hands leave my stomach and wrap around me in a tight embrace. The heartfelt tenderness calms me, and the fear of losing him suddenly falls away, and with it, a great deal of my tension.

  “You're still trembling.” Wanting to warm me, he rubs his hands over my arms, my back and my already dry hair.

  “I just need another nine degrees,” I smile and snuggle into him. His unique scent and the warmth of his skin make me feel like I'm home. Finally.

  But then he pushes me away from him a bit and looks at me.

  “Say it again.” His voice is hoarse and his fingers press into my shoulders.

  “I just need. . .” I begin, and break off. No, that's not the sentence he wants to hear again. His eyes tell me without a shadow of a doubt what I have to say to him once more.

  “I love you, Noah. I wish I could tell you how much. . .” His kiss steals my chance to finish the sentence. At first gentle and full of longing, then intense and almost possessive, he takes my breath awa
y and tells me of his love. But this kiss doesn't only reveal Noah's feelings to me, but also my own, so powerfully that it seems to overwhelm me, because I sob quietly.

  “Don't cry, it's going to be okay,” Noah assures me in a firm voice and kisses me on my wet cheeks, something I only realize now. I'm crying. I'm actually crying. It feels strange.

  Strangely good.

  Relieving.

  Infinitely relieving.

  And this, in spite of the fact that everything isn't okay, in fact nothing at all is okay.

  I have no idea how to work through what happened between me and Aven. He's my twin brother, and I'm only now realizing how close he was to me all those years, through the dreams I couldn't interpret. His dreams, memories and experiences found their way into my dreams, and he even saw me in his dreams. Only now does so much that I couldn't understand my whole life long make sense.

  He killed Cassie. Our sister Cassie. And even if he didn't know she was his sister, still it was him who snuffed out her life. What he did know, though, was that I was his sister. A supposed half-sister. He knowingly crossed the line. How can I ever look him in the eye and not think of what he did? What we did? Yet I really know so little about him and his life, and I can't deny that in spite of everything I'd like to know more about him.

  Violette is dead. What if she had stolen me instead of Aven? What would have become of me, without my family and my siblings?

  The images and feelings from my dreams, the terrible things I saw and the fear I felt. These were all his memories and feelings, the world in which he grew up. A world which must have been so much worse than mine. Aside from helplessness and anger, I feel pity for him, and I still feel the bond between us.

  I can't hate Aven. I wish I could, because these contradictory emotions are tearing me up inside. How am I supposed to explain this to Airas? How do I tell him that his newfound brother Aven killed our sister Cassandra and also his beloved Phil?

  And what about our father? Shouldn't the spell on him be broken too, since Violette died? Where is he now, and when will I see him again? The fact that the underworld is out for our lives and our babies are meant to be part of a divine plan puts the icing on the cake. No, nothing is okay – and I don't know if these things ever will come right. But now, here, in Noah's arms and with the knowledge of the new life inside me, although I feel like I'm still underwater, I can finally breathe.

  42

  Amkaya

  My sleep is restless and at times more of a doze. My consciousness drifts in the warm no-man's-land between awareness and sleep, and although I've already been sleeping for what feels like forever, it won't let my body wake up. As if it wants to force me to rest. Most of the time I can smell Noah and feel his warm skin beside me. That makes me feel safe, and I surrender to my body's will.

  I fell asleep in bed almost instantaneously when Noah held me and his body warmed me. My head was still packed full of things I wanted to say to him, but sleep overpowered me, as if someone had pulled a plug out and turned me off.

  Time and again, information, words and whole segments of conversations in the room trickle through to me, but sleep clutches me stubbornly.

  Airas has returned from the dead, and even Wilson is back in the house. I heard them talking about how Wilson was miraculously cured of his serious illness after the death of the vampire witch and how Violette must have been using it to get him out of the way. The doctors had already given up on him. It's a great feeling to know he's back in the house. Since I know both of them are fine, I've been falling into deep sleep phases more often.

  Aven is gone. He left without me even having the chance to speak to him one more time. His voice is a recurring echo in my head. “Forgive me, Kaya. It's better for all of us if I leave now. If I stayed, we would only keep cutting ourselves on the shards I caused.” They're words which make me sad, but I couldn't argue with them. Maybe letting go really is the only chance for a new start – someday.

  Piano music penetrates my consciousness. Airas is playing again, and I recognize the notes as Inception, which fills me up and takes over my body. So familiar, it creeps into every cell of my body, stimulates my spirits and forces me to open my eyes.

  Blinking, I look into the red of the low-lying sun, which is falling across my face through the not quite closed blinds.

  “Hey angel. You're awake.” Noah looks up from the book he's reading at the foot of the bed. He claps it shut and smiles at me. Yawning, I rub my eyes and return his smile.

  “Did I sleep very long?”

  “Two and a half days.”

  “Really? That long?” I sit up and have a long stretch. My body feels great, better than it has in ages. Only the pressure in my bladder is a bit annoying.

  “It felt like four weeks, if you ask me.” He grins and the next moment he's beside me. Embracing me, he kisses me first on the forehead and then on the lips. I sigh blissfully. His touches on my relaxed skin are like thousands of tiny fireworks.

  “Airas and Wilson were worried because we couldn't manage to wake you.”

  “And you? You weren't worried?”

  “No, not really. I knew you'd miss me sooner or later and open your eyes.” His grin is cheeky and adorable.

  “Oh yeah? You knew that, huh?”

  “It's okay, you can admit it, I won't tell anyone.” He kisses me again, and his blue eyes sparkle with joy. I laugh into our kiss and am myself surprised how sincere this laughter is, in spite of everything, and how close we are to one another once more.

  “It was a strange sleep,” I tell him suddenly. “I could hear you speaking, but I couldn't wake up.”

  “Did you know Aven came in too?” His look is frank. I gulp and nod.

  “He's gone, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Excuse me for a minute, I really need to use the bathroom.” The insistent pressure from my bladder is a welcome excuse to escape the sudden silence between us, and also gives me the chance to freshen up a little and drink some water.

  When I go back to him, I look for the book he was reading.

  “What were you reading while I was asleep? Poetry?” Amused, I reach for the book and hesitate, because I can't read the title. I notice the binding of the book is very old and also looks very tattered already. The scent coming off it is strange.

  “Is it Enochian?”

  “We can't stay here, Amy.”

  Noah ignores my question, and his serious expression pulls me out of the alluring lightness and back to reality once and for all.

  “What happened in this house could already have attracted the attention of the underworld, and that vampire that got away – he might betray us.”

  He's right. I know he's right. But I'm aware that if I go with him I don't only have to leave the house, but also Airas and Wilson. And right now that is something I have trouble picturing. I can still hear my brother playing the piano in the other wing, but this time it's a melody I don't know.

  Before I can say anything, my stomach pipes up. A deep, demanding rumble. It's connected with the familiar, tugging pain I can cure only with blood. And yet the thing with Andy was only three days ago. The urge to feed has never returned so quickly before. Not by far.

  “Your stomach is rumbling. No wonder you're hungry. You should get something to eat, pronto. After all, you're eating for three now. What takes your fancy? Wilson picked up cheesecake for you this morning. I do think he's got a little crush on you.” Noah smirks.

  “Oh, nonsense, he's just a darling, that's all. And cheesecake sounds good, but I'm afraid it's not quite what I need.”

  He looks at me in surprise and his eyes get a ravenous gleam in them.

  “Well, if that's the case, then I'll take you out to dinner. Let's go eat before we get out of here. I have to admit, I've missed sharing the ADs with you.” He pulls me to him on the bed once more and kisses me passionately. Then his gaze takes on a pained expression.

  “For the next few months, could you perh
aps try your best not to look quite as bewitching as you do now? Otherwise it's going to be sheer torture for me until the kids are born.” He smothers my giggle with another kiss.

  “I happily accept your invitation to dinner,” I tell him when I catch my breath again. And then I can no longer hide what is weighing on my heart. “But I can't simply leave like that, Noah. Not without talking to Airas about it first. I can't just leave him alone that way. Not after everything that has happened.”

  Without warning, tears are suddenly running down my cheeks, and I myself am perplexed. Great. For having underperformed before, my tear ducts seem to have all their floodgates wide open now.

  “Angel, don't do that.” Noah pulls me tenderly into his arms. Embarrassed, I dry my wet cheeks on his shirt.

  “Airas and I – we've already talked about it,” he then reveals and I lift my head in surprise to look at him.

  “You've talked about what?”

  “That I would take you to safety and he would set out to find your father.”

  “He wants to find Ramon?”

  “He already has his bags packed. Wilson will go with him. They only wanted to wait until you woke up so you could say goodbye.”

  “What if we went with them and looked for him together?”

  “We talked about that too. It's too dangerous, Amy. You have angel blood in you now, and every tiny, little scratch would set off the flares.”

  He reaches for the book with the letters I can't understand, and holds it up.

  “Thanks to this book, I now know that there are geographical zones where we are safe from the underworld. They're small, really very tiny regions which they can't access and in which they can't track us down.”

  “Where did you get the book?”