I smile at him and take the microphone before I walk over to the piano. I sit down at the bench that luckily faces the table Jake is sitting at with my friends. I put the mic in the stand and keep my eyes on him. I don't announce the song I'm going to play. I don't even think about it. I just lean into the mic and say, "I hope you like it..." And then I start to play the opening notes to the stripped version of the song. Just the piano and my voice.
I mean every single word I am singing. And by the look on his face I can tell he knows. And my eyes don't stray from Jake. I look into his eyes, I watch his chest as he takes each breath, I watch his lips as they tilt up in a small and loving smile.
Some people may think it is cheesy to sing this kind of stuff to each other, especially in front of an audience. But to be honest, I don't really care. It's just like what Jake has tattooed on his ribs. Sometimes it's hard to say things you mean, especially in your own words. I feel like if I can find a song that tells him how I feel, if he can understand what I am telling him, then who cares how I tell him. Right now, I am being more honest than I have ever been in my whole life.
I want him to know how I feel about him. And by the look in his eyes, I can see that he does. I can see the relief that he knows I am there with him.
That we are something to believe in.
***
We made plans to go out after the open mic night with Jenna, Jimmy, Dan, and the guys from Second Story.
And right now I am really and truly regretting that decision. I can tell Jake is regretting our plans too. All I want to do right now is get down and dirty with my boyfriend. And now that the nerves aren't there for my performance, I can finally take in how amazing he looks tonight in his dark jeans and navy button down.
But instead of ripping each other’s clothes off, we're sitting at a table near the bar at Sound. Half of the group is dancing on the floor and the rest of us are nursing our beers as we sit around the table. I can barely look at Jake without seeing in his eyes all the dirty things he wants to do to me. And since every time I look in his eyes I see X-rated reflections, I stopped looking him in the eye twenty minutes ago. But now I'm looking at his lips. Same problem.
Nate and Jenna leave the table to go dance and it's just Toby, Jake, and me.
"I think you guys have put in the obligatory time at this get together," Toby says, smirking in our direction.
"Huh?" I say, startled from my thoughts involving Jake's lips on various parts of my body.
"I can see the looks on your faces. You're already fucking each other in your minds. I promise I won't tell anyone that you bailed so you could fuck each other in real life," he says, holding back a chuckle and making a rude gesture with his hands.
"Oh my god! What are you? Fifteen!" I say to Toby.
He laughs. "I hate to break it to you, Rachel, but when it comes to sex, all men are stuck at the age of fifteen. Sometimes I still can't believe it when a girl lets me touch her boobs!" he says, laughing and imitating squeezing those very female parts he just referenced.
Jake laughs at his friend as he puts his arm around my shoulders. "He's right. Every time you let me touch your boobs," he says, looking down at me, attempting to hold in a bigger laugh. But even though he's joking, I can see the look in his eyes. And that look doesn't say he's joking. It says he's thinking about touching me.
I like that look. Actually, I fucking love that look.
"You want to get out of here?" I ask Jake with my best I want you to fuck me face on.
He stops laughing and his smile grows. "Fuck yeah," he says. And then without even looking in Toby's direction he says, "See you around, Toby," while he leads me away from the table, towards the door, and back to his room.
***
"Your hands are very distracting," Jake says as he is trying to unlock his door.
"Are you complaining?" I whisper in his ear, going up on my toes to kiss his neck. My hands have trailed from his hard chest, down his taut abdomen, all the way to the button of his jeans as he searches for the right key and tries to unlock his door.
"Not complaining, just stating a fact," he says as he finally gets the key in the door and opens it wide before spinning around in my arms and pulling me into his room.
He walks backwards few steps until he hits the bed. Our eyes lock in an intense gaze, full of sexual energy.
Energy I am more than ready to burn.
He sits down and I follow him, straddling his lap. We haven't kissed yet, but I feel more turned on just seeing the look in his eyes. We just sit there for a minute, my hands running through his hair, his hands slowing running from my hips, up my sides, over my ribs, then over my back and into my hair. He is communicating without words. Just his touch tells me how much he adores me. Cherishes me. Loves me.
Our eyes break contact as he looks down at my mouth before moving in close, his breath tickling my lips. I close my eyes, as warmth spreads throughout my body. But he doesn't come in the rest of the way to touch his lips to mine. He stays there, hovering near me, tempting me with the kiss that I have been longing for since I finished singing that song on stage.
And the temptation is too much. I lean the rest of the way into the kiss and our mouths meet in a hungry and consuming kiss. Our lips move together, our tongues touching and tasting each other. My hands pull harder on his hair and he pulls me further into the kiss. I moan as I pull back a bit and bite his bottom lip.
Jake pulls back from the kiss, smiling at me. "God dammit, Rachel. I'm trying to make this last, but when you do shit like that I just want to flip you over, rip your pants off, and fuck you like an animal," he says before grabbing my face and pulling it back to his mouth.
After a moment, I pull back and look him in the eye. "Then do it," I say tempting him. Daring him. He gives me a lustful look before growling and moving his hands from my head down my back and to my ass. He lifts me as I wrap my legs around him, my center lined up with his rigid erection. Flipping us so I am lying on the bed underneath his weight, he presses into me. I seriously wish we were already naked.
He devours my mouth, his hands moving to my breasts, kneading and teasing my nipples through the fabric of my shirt and bra. I feel possessed. He is possessing me.
He stands up, quickly removing his shirt, pants, and boxer briefs. I expect him to start undressing me, but he just stands there looking at me while I am still fully clothed as his skin gleams in the dark, his cock hard and ready.
"God, Rachel. You are so fucking hot. So fucking beautiful," he says, as he wraps his hand around his erection and slowly strokes himself as his eyes roam over all of me.
And I can't stand it for one more second. I sit up pulling my shirt and bra off and nearly jump off the bed to kneel in front of him. I wrap both of my hands around the one he is using to pleasure himself and I take the plush head of his cock into my mouth, swirling my tongue around, sucking on him and eliciting a sharp intake of breath from Jake. I move my hands with his along his length as he grows harder and bigger. One of my hands moves down to his balls and I run my nails along the skin, squeezing lightly.
Jake hisses through his teeth and I smile around his cock. I open my eyes and look up at him from my position in front of him, never taking my mouth or hands off of him. He is watching me, his eyes dark and hungry.
For me. All of this is for me.
I take his length deeper into my mouth and suck as I move him in and out along my tongue. He groans, his head tilting back, eyes closing. His free hand moves to the back of my head as I bob, fucking him with my mouth. His other hand comes out from underneath mine, as he lets me fully take over his pleasure. I increase the pressure my hand uses to squeeze his dick as I start to move faster.
Both his hands are on my head now, guiding the speed he wants me to move at, as he starts small controlled thrusts to meet my mouth. My hand leaves his cock and moves to grab his muscled backside, as the other hand continues to work his balls. His pace becomes quicker and less controlled as he thrusts
into my warm mouth. I moan around him, his whole length working in and out of my throat.
I know he is getting close and I want to swallow him, but he pulls my head back, his cock falling out of my mouth with a pop. I look at him confused for a moment, before he speaks. "God, Rachel," he says, wrapping his hand around his erection and stoking it. "I want to come on your tits," he says, looking down at my breasts. He looks out of control with lust. I feel my center throb and I nod, moving my hands to my breasts. I hold them up for him, as I rub my thumbs over my nipples. I moan loudly completely turned on by what he is about to do.
I've never done anything like this before, but as I watch him increase the speed of his hand sliding along his dick, I can feel myself getting wet, ready for him to release on me. Claim me as his. And he does with a groan, pumping his hand over his length.
After a minute of us both breathing heavy, he kneels down in front of me and kisses me deeply, before pulling back and smiling. He reaches behind him, grabbing a wash cloth from the drawer of his dresser. He wipes my chest off, before kissing me again. Sweetly, this time. "Stand up," he says.
I do. He slips off my shoes and unbuttons my pants, sliding them down my legs along with my panties. I step out of them and look down at him. His smile is gone, but based on the look on his face I can tell he is very excited for what is coming next.
"Sit on the bed and let me return the favor," he says before taking my hips and guiding me to sit on the bed.
The moment I do, he spreads my legs wide and moves his face between them. He runs his tongue through my folds once before circling around my clit. I whimper and grab his hair in my hands, looking down at his mouth on me as he pleasures me. I am so turned on after giving him head, he slides two fingers inside me easily working them in and out as he continues giving me head. And it doesn't take very long for his tongue and fingers to bring on an orgasm. Moaning, and moving my hips to meet his thrusting fingers, I pull his head closer as I ride the wave of ecstasy he created in me.
I fall back on the bed, my body still pulsing as he pulls his fingers from me and kisses up my stomach as he stands. He moves to the nightstand, opening the drawer and pulling out a condom. He rips it open before rolling it down his shaft, which is hard and ready again. Walking back over to me, he lifts one of my legs, placing my foot on his shoulder as he stands before me at the foot of the bed. He runs his hand down my leg from my ankle to my thigh, brushing over my sex as he moves to the other leg, grabbing my calf and placing that foot on his other shoulder. His hands move down my legs again and under my ass before he pulls me so my backside is hanging off the bed, supported by only him.
I'm watching his erection jutting towards me, waiting for him to slide into me. But it doesn't happen. I look up into Jake's eyes and see him watching me. I smile, and he smiles back.
"I love you," I say to him.
"I love you too," he says back. "I want you looking me in the eye when I'm inside you."
I nod, and bite my lip in anticipation. And then I feel just the tip of him at my entrance before he surges forward and fills me. I inhale and moan. He groans.
And we never break eye contact.
He stays still for a moment too long, so I start to wiggle my hips wanting him to move. He grips my hips, his fingers spreading over my ass as he starts to thrust in and out of me, circling each time he fills me completely. It is slow, but hard at the same time. Jake moving inside me, hitting all the right spots to make my body sing.
And we never break eye contact.
He moves faster as my muscles start to tighten around him. Slamming into me harder as I moan and whimper. I beg him to keep going. Harder. Faster. I never want him to stop. I want this sweet torture to last forever. I want to be on this ledge with him for as long as I can stand it.
And we never break eye contact.
The tension finally releases as I come, moaning his name. His hands move from my hips to my feet and he speeds up, pumping in and out of me, groaning about my pussy. How tight I am. How good I feel wrapped around his cock. How he wants to stay buried inside me forever. How much he loves fucking me. How much he fucking loves me. Then he slams into me and stills, his body trembling as he comes inside of me.
And we never break eye contact.
He runs his hands back down my legs, up over my body, under my back, pulling me with him as he moves up the bed. He kisses me slow and lazy. Sated.
"I could do this with you forever if you let me," he says, kissing my neck.
I smile, holding back the girly squeal. "I think I might let you."
He pulls back and looks into my eyes, smiling softly. "I mean it," he says, his smile growing crooked in an absolutely adorable expression.
"I know."
"I'm serious. You're stuck with me for the long haul. I don't think I could ever get over you if you broke my heart," he says like he's kidding, but I know he's serious. He doesn't put his heart out there like this. But he has with me and I cherish it. I cherish him.
"I know. And I don't think I would be the one to break your heart..." I say, trailing off as he kisses me softly. I don't think he realizes how much he owns me. He owns me completely.
He gets this serious look on his face before he says, "I won't break your heart, Rachel. Because if I broke yours, it would mean breaking mine. You are my heart. My soul. You own me."
My eyes tear up and I choke on my words. I want to say so much more to him, but all I can get out is a small smile and, "Ditto."
He chuckles at my response and leans down to kiss me. "I love you, babe."
"I love you, too."
Chapter 22
The next two weeks pass in a blur of class, studying, relaxing, and sex. Lots of sex. And with Jake as my boyfriend, you have to know how amazing the sex is.
Like, really amazing.
Actually, everything is amazing. So amazing in fact, that the anniversary of my mother's death nearly sneaks up on me. I knew it was coming. It's something I dread reliving every year, even though it gets a little better with each year. I guess I should say that it gets a little more bearable.
And Jake has definitely made an impact on how I feel about everything. He listens to me when I want to talk. He comforts me when I need the silence. He makes me smile at memories that, in the past, have made me cry.
It still feels like it was yesterday. Coming home from school and rushing around before my piano lesson, I didn't even realize the somber mood of the house. When I came into the kitchen to grab a snack before leaving, I noticed my mom and dad sitting at the kitchen table with sad smiles on their faces.
I stopped what I was doing, instinctively knowing that something was wrong. I sat down at the table across from them and took a breath. Honestly, that was the last real breath I took for a long time.
"Mom? Dad? What's wrong?"
That sad smile grows on Mom's face when she looks over at Dad, and I see the arm that he has wrapped around her shoulder tighten. A tear leaks from the corner of her eye, and then she looks back at me before she starts to talk. Her voice is sad, but resolute. "Sweetheart, Dad and I wanted to talk to you.”
“What about my lesson?” I ask.
“We, um, we cancelled your piano lesson today so there's no need to rush the conversation. And we decided to talk to you, your brother, and sister separately." She pauses, taking a big breath.
"Mom?" I say quietly, my voice trembling and tears starting to build in my eyes.
"Rachel, I have a brain tumor. It is inoperable and terminal... I," she says before clearing her throat. Dad squeezes her in reassurance. "We just found out yesterday and I had an appointment with the surgeon this morning. They say..." She stops talking for moment and puts her hand to her mouth to stifle a sob. She looks at Dad, talking in that private way they normally do.
That's when Dad takes over. "They've given Mom only a few months... We wanted to tell you as soon as we knew," he finishes, his voice wavering. Tears start leaking from his eyes and Mom turns her face i
nto his chest. He pulls her closer and into his embrace.
I sit there in stunned silence, watching my parent's grief. My dad's grief at losing his soul mate. My mom's grief at losing herself. Her life.
"I don't understand…" I say softly. Actually, I think I do understand. It just feels like this can’t be real.
Mom pulls her face away from Dad's chest and looks over at me. She gets up and walks over to sit next to me. We turn in the chairs so we were facing each other. She takes both of my hands in hers. "Sweetheart. Sometimes illnesses can't be cured. The location and size of the tumor... it's..."
And that's when I lose it. It all finally sinks in that my mom is dying. The vibrant woman who looks so healthy in front of me right now will be gone in a few months. And there is nothing anyone can do about it. "It’s not fair..." I say through the sobs, as my mom pulls me into her lap and soothes me like she did when I was a child. Dad comes around the table and sits in my abandoned chair, embracing me from behind.
"Shhh... I know, sweetheart. I know..." my mom soothes.
"I just... I can't..." I mumble into her chest.
"I know..."
I don't know how long we sat there for. At some point, my sister came down. They had told her earlier in the day when she got out of school. We all sat together crying. They had yet to tell my brother. He would be home that weekend and they wanted to wait to tell him in person. I took the rest of the week off of school and spent as much time as I could with my family.
The first month after we found out, it was hard to believe that anything was wrong with her. We would stay up late together. Go on walks. Laugh. Live.
After that first month, things started to change. Little things. She was tired a lot. She got a lot of headaches. She was more irritable.
On The Floor (Second Story) Page 23