Erotica: No Limits

by BREANNA BENSON

  I just made sure not to stick around too much in public spaces and things went well that way.

  However, soon it was the weekend and Steven insisted on doing his usual Saturday brunch with the both of us.

  We exchanged pleasantries and started to eat. But Steven was determined to be jovial and involve us in that mood.

  “So how’s your project coming along?” he asked Gavin.

  “It’s kicking my ass. Makes me wanna quit.”

  “But you won’t,” said Steven dismissively. “This is the usual 3 month freak out. You tire of looking for funds to make kids’ lives better and suddenly you hate your job even though everyone in your office loves you and you love those kids.”

  Gavin chuckled. I reached for some bacon.

  “How’s it been for you in the apartment,” Steven asked me. “Better than the construction site?”

  “Mhmm,” I said around a mouthful. “I get my full 8 hours. Thanks, babe.”

  “No problem.”

  “You’re welcome,” chimed in Gavin, humorlessly. I said nothing.

  Once brunch was over, I tried to escape back to the room.

  “Bit of couch potato, your girlfriend,” I heard Gavin murmur from the kitchen where he and Steven were washing up.

  “Dude,” snapped Steven in my defence. “What is your problem?”

  “Just tell me how long she’s gonna be here for.”

  “As long as she wants!” yelled Steven, losing his patience. “You know in case you haven’t noticed, Stacy has been nothing but pleasant and friendly to you even when you act like an asshole.”

  “I signed a lease with you. Not your girlfriend.”

  “Yeah. I get it. No problem, man. I get it. God forbid the woman I love spend time with me while your weird ego is in the room.”

  Steven stomped off and looked crestfallen when he saw that I had heard everything.

  I felt rage rise in me. Why was I tiptoeing around this asshole? If he was uncomfortable then he should keep to himself. I was going to be comfortable in my boyfriend’s home because that was a normal thing for girlfriends to do in moderation. I had done nothing wrong.

  “Come on, Stacy,” murmured Steven, moving toward the bedroom.

  “No,” I said, suddenly finding courage. “No. I want to finish the series we were bingeing and I want to do it in the living room. There’s better sound on the TV. And this show deserves HD colors.”

  Steven smiled and nodded his agreement. “Ok, then, Bu-butt. Let’s do it.”

  We sat on the sofa and made ourselves exaggeratedly comfortable. Gavin glared at the both of us for a moment before going to his room. Ha! Round 1: Team Pumpkin-head and Bu-butt.

  We passed a very passive-aggressive weekend camped out in the living room. It was fun just because everything with Steven is fun and we cackled meanly whenever Gavin would leave to go grab drinks with his friends or hang at some buddy’s house.

  Monday morning came around and I decided I would not rush my morning routine. It was not vindictive because Gavin had a flexible schedule and if I got out of the shower at 8:20 he would still have plenty of time to do what he needed to.

  A loud bang on the door told me otherwise. Steven was gone by now, I knew. It had to be Gavin.

  “I’m drying my hair, Gavin. Give me a minute.”

  “I’m in a rush, Stacy,” he said before proceeding to open the door.

  There I stood, stark naked, hair dryer in hand. I was so shocked that I froze still, fully exposed.

  “Jesus!” shouted Gavin, staring in shock.

  “Get. Out.” The words came out strangled and petrified.

  He obliged clumsily.

  I grabbed my towel and ran out of the bathroom. My hair would have to air dry. I had to get out of there. As I rushed out, I heard a hurried: “Sorry!” come from Gavin’s room.

  I dreaded coming home that evening. Steven had a late night at the office and it would be just me and Gavin if he didn’t go out with his friends.

  Sure enough, when I came home, there he was, sitting and eating his dinner while reading something on his tablet.

  He looked up at me and a strange expression was in the place his usual scowl took. It was a moment before I realized it was a kind of friendly and contrite expression.

  “Hi, Stacy,” he said quietly.

  “Gavin.”

  “Look… I’m so sorry about this morning. I don’t know what came over me…”

  “I’m long past trying to understand your motivations, Gavin. You could try ignoring it the same way I do.”

  “Crap. I deserve that. You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just… god. It’s better this way.”

  “What?!”

  “Just trust me.”

  “TRUST you?! Why would I ever do that? There’s literally no reason for me to take anything from you, including advice.”

  “Ok. Yeah. You’re right.”

  I was angrier now. Why wouldn’t he fight back? I hated being so angry at him and not have him justify it by being irrationally unkind as usual. It made me feel like I was the one in the wrong even though I knew I was not.

  “You’re… the most aggravating…” I stood with my fists clenched, mouthing in frustration, eyes wildly scouring the room for a word bad enough to describe how he made me feel. Suddenly a laugh escaped him as he sat there, watching me. “Don’t you dare laugh at me!” I exclaimed, suddenly maddened by my anger.

  “Whoa!” he said rising to his feet and making the same calming motions one might with an angry guard dog. “Stacy… I’m sorry!”

  “Yeah you are!”

  He let out another uncontrolled laugh once more. He was directly in front of me, close, and suddenly my anger turned into confusion as something strange poured out of his body language and into me, at odds with my mood. His hazel eyes were soft and he bit his lip as he held his hands out in a sort of surrendering gesture. I realized what was wrong suddenly. It was his breathing and the intensity with which he looked at me. He stepped toward me for a second and I stepped back, rigid with fright. He stepped forward again and I stepped back almost in sync with him. He stepped forward once more and suddenly I was against the kitchen counter that separated it from the dining area and living room.

  “What…” I said, breathlessly and confused.

  “I’m done, Stacy,” he said simply. “I’m done fighting it. I hate fighting it. I don’t want to. It’s too painful and it hurts you, I can tell it does. I don’t want to fight it anymore because the only way I know how to fight it is to treat you like the enemy. Because in a way you are. You are the enemy of my friendship with Steven. Steven is the best guy I know. I could never… but I want to. And I know you don’t want me…” WANT HIM?! “But I want you and I can never have you and I shouldn’t ever have you… you and Steven are made for each other. But I can’t hate you anymore. So I’m giving up.”

  I was frozen in shock. Of all the ways I had seen this evening going this was not even a remote possibility in my mind. I almost forgot to breathe for a whole minute before my body kicked into a quiet hyperventilation. Because suddenly, Gavin was leaning in slowly, watching me with amused interest. Then he kissed me. Softly. On the lips. He then pulled away and walked casually back to his room. As though nothing had happened.

  I was still frozen to the spot, my lips still puckered awkwardly from the kiss, the muscles in my face beginning to tense from staying in that position for so long.

  So this was what I got for being naked in the communal space.

  Chapter Two

  I was in bed, sitting up and staring at my feet with intense concentration when Steven came into the room. He was still in his work clothes but he disrobed quickly down to his boxers and dumped himself on the bed, exhausted.

  “Today was rough,” he moaned. “How are you doing?”

  “Um. Gavin kissed me.”

  “What?” he asked, propping himself up on his elbow tiredly.

  “Gavin kissed me. On the mouth.�
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  “What?” he asked, more animatedly now, shocked into sitting up.

  “Gavin’s lips were on my lips. Like an hour ago.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he supposedly likes me now.”

  “What?”

  “He said he likes me. Or I think that’s what he meant. And then he kissed me.”

  “What?”

  “Steven, use your vocabulary please.”

  “Oh I’ll use more than that!” he said, getting to his feet and marching out toward Gavin’s room. I followed, frightened once more of what might happen. Gavin’s door slammed open. I appreciated, for the first time, how tall and well-built Steven really was as he filled out the doorway, making it impossible for me to see inside Gavin’s room.

  “Dude!” he bellowed. “This is taking things too far. Stacy hasn’t done anything to you, why are you messing with her head like this?”

  Gavin did not respond.

  Steven entered his room. I followed.

  Gavin looked… weirdly relaxed.

  “Hey, Steven,” he said casually.

  “Don’t ‘hey, Steven,’ me! What is your game here?”

  “No game,” said Gavin simply. “I like her. Always have. But she’s your girl. What was I supposed to do?”

  “What? That makes no sense. You hate Stacy!”

  “Hey…” I chimed in. “You never said he hated me, you always said I was exaggerating.”

  “Oh come on,” he said impatiently. “That was just to spare your feelings, the guy’s been a dick since he met you.”

  “Yes, he has,” I agreed.

  “I have,” said Gavin in agreement too. “It was the only way I knew to not make things weird. I mean… jeez, think back, Steven. Think back to when we first met Stacy and you brought her over. I would act so weird. Remember you asked me why I couldn’t talk to her and why I kept acting so shy?”

  “Well…” said Steven, his anger dissipating like a deflating balloon. “Yeah. But then you said it’s because you thought she was stuck up and weird. Then you started acting really cold toward her.”

  “Yeah. She’s your girlfriend. What was I supposed to do?”

  “Well…” Steven seemed stumped on that one. However he reinflated suddenly: “Well, what did you go and kiss her for?”

  “I don’t know,” said Gavin simply. “I had been fighting it for so long… I just kind of gave in.”

  “Well… what if she had kissed you back and gone for it?”

  “I would have felt terrible. But I also… might not have. I might have gone for it. But I knew she wouldn’t. She loves you. And I’m not here to get in your way. So if you can deal with the fact that I have a thing for your girl… man, I promise I will never, ever, ever try anything with her.”

  Steven was silent. Suddenly he seemed to give up on trying to think this whole situation through and he grabbed my arm, pulled me out and slammed Gavin’s door. He instructed me angrily to go to my room as though I were being grounded. I obeyed, hoping he would calm down.

  In the room, I sat on the bed, thinking. Gavin liked me. Gavin liked me. How on earth had that happened? And he had liked me the whole time. Thinking back on when we had first met, it had been weird. We hung out a lot in the living room, the three of us and Gavin was quite bashful back then. He would stutter and act nervously around me. I thought he was weird. Then when he stopped talking to me I thought he was even weirder. When he started to be mean to me it was just a bit further along the continuum of weirdness. Who knew.

  Steven came into the room and stared at me intently.

  “You don’t like Gavin, do you?” he asked as he closed the door. His tone was brisk.

  “No,” I said immediately. “No, I don’t.”

  “I mean, he’s good-looking and works for a charity with kids and girls love him. Maybe you do too. Maybe you two have been plotting all this time…”

  “No… Steven, no! I love you. I want you. Only you. Now come to bed, please.”

  He paused for a moment then obliged. We lay, cuddled, him behind me, holding me firmly against him. His breathing was still harried with agitation. I felt it against my hair. I clutched his hands, wrapped around me, and kissed his arm. I felt him nuzzle further into my hair and closed my eyes.

  Everything with Steven always felt right. Comfortable. Easy. I had never had a complication like this. And I did not want it.

  I pushed my body closer onto Steven, burying my face in his arms as I did. He wrapped his leg around me to pull me in closer still to his chest, moving one of his hands to pull the blanket up to my neck. He then reached his hand down my stomach and under my shirt, up to my breast, cupping it gently, squeezing it slightly. I pushed his favourite part of my body, my curvy derriere, onto his engorging manhood. He groaned into my hair. I reached down and pulled out his already hard erection stroked it gently. I shivered at how familiar and warm his raw sexuality felt.

  The hand under my shirt slid back down and into my pyjama bottoms and panties to stroke me gently, pleasuring me at my center. I was already slick with anticipation as his finger reached inside of me before continuing to stroke me gently as I squirmed under his touch. I pulled his erection to enter me and felt him cup my leg upward, so as to stretch me to fit all of him. We moved, like a bed-ridden waltz, back and forth on the bed, as he reached once more to cup and massage my breast. I bent my head back while her curved his over mine so that we could kiss. I wrapped my arm up and around his neck as he burrowed into me, over and over again. Soon, the arm under my body curved up to my other breast so that his top hand could reach back down and pleasure my center once more.

  I gasped between kisses, feeling him stroke me both inside and out, until I climaxed with a deep moan.

  We fell asleep, Gavin all but forgotten.

  Chapter Three

  The next morning I woke up after Steven had left. I walked toward the bathroom only to see Gavin leaving it, a towel around his waist, his chest still a little damp from the bathroom steam. He looked like an athlete, the way his body was toned and tan. I felt my stomach flutter and the narrowness of the hallway suddenly made me nervous. He gave me a small smile, lighting up his hazel eyes as he did and muttered: “Good morning.” I felt my stomach clench.

  “Morning,” I mumbled. I rushed into the bathroom and locked the door.

  That evening Steven and I went out for dinner straight after work and came home together. Gavin was in his room. Steven looked darkly at the door before he went into his own room. I felt a pang of guilt wrack me when I realized Steven no longer had his best friend because of me.

  Over the days that followed, I felt a tension grow between the two of them until Friday evening when Steven told Gavin loudly to watch it when they nearly bumped into each other in the kitchen.

  “Guys!” I exclaimed. They both looked around at me, Gavin looking sad and Steven angry. Both of them were miserable, I knew. “You guys are best friends. I don’t want to be the reason you don’t get along! Maybe… maybe I should go home and stay away for a while so you can work this out.”

  “What?!” exclaimed Steven. “Stacy, no. In the choice between you or him, it’s obviously you.”

  “You don’t have to choose though!” I insisted. “You have me, Steven. Completely. Buut you have to realize that you will resent me if you don’t have Gavin anymore. This is a temporary thing. Gavin will find another girl, he’ll fall in love. And in the meantime, your relationship will have soured. That would hurt all three of us. I would rather we decide to love one another despite the weirdness rather than letting the weirdness make us hate anyone.”

  “I can’t…” said Steven. “It’s just out of the blue. It’s crazy.”

  “It may just be a physical thing – isn’t it, Gavin?” I asked. “That’s all right? And if It’s physical, you’ll soon find someone else who looks way better than me.”

  “It’s not just physical,” said Gavin simply. Why couldn’t he have just played along. “If it
were, I would have gotten over it already. And I wouldn’t have jeopardized my friendship over something physical. I’m in love with you Stacy. But I love the friendship I have with Steven just as much.”

  I felt myself grow warmer with this revelation. But I could not allow it to get in the way of what I was trying to accomplish.

  “Uh, see,” I interjected before Steven could say anything. “There was a lot of love talk there just now. And I… well I can’t say I’m totally ok with Gavin yet since up until recently I thought he hated me. But you two… you both care for one another. And if I understand it… you both care for me.” I took a step toward them and placed a hand on each of their chests. “So please. Mend this.” I looked from one to the other. Dark brown and hazel.

  Steven was calm. I tiptoed up to kiss him on the mouth. He seemed to calm down after this. My eyes lingered on Gavin’s. The heat of his stare made me blush and I removed my hand from his chest.

  A pained expression crossed Steven’s face as he witnessed the intensity of Gavin’s feelings toward me. And when he looked at me, he could tell that I was not sure how to feel about these feelings – which meant they were not wholly unwelcome, they were being entertained, even if out of curiosity. I wondered if that hurt Steven. I did not want that. I just had never expected anything like this and it made me curious rather than angry or confused or guilty.

  “Guys. Steven. Please. At least have a conversation about it. I’m gonna go.”

  I took off into the bedroom and tried to sleep. The boys murmured in the living room and I wanted them to have their privacy.

  Over the next few days a strange truce fell. The boys were locked into a lease for 6 more months. They were trying to get along and make things work. I made things easier on them both by keeping to myself and not talking to Gavin. But then suddenly one evening Steven exploded with annoyance when I asked him if he could knock on Gavin’s door and ask for the vacuum cleaner. He told me to go ask for it myself and that Gavin and I should leave him out of our weird Chinese telephone games from then on.