Blackgentlemen.com

by Zane

  Akinyele missed Nakalem so bad that she’d even gone to Blackgentlemen.com to look at his picture and re-read his ad, but it was gone. She felt like such a fool. A lovesick fool. She’d flown halfway across the country and slept with a man who had disappeared.

  Akinyele had left work early in a funk. She missed him. But it was clear that he didn’t miss her.

  The ringing of her phone was nothing compared to the dull thump of her heart.

  “Hello?” she said sullenly into the mouthpiece.

  “Miss Akinyele, this is Solange. A call came in for you this afternoon but the gentleman didn’t leave his name,” Solange said.

  “Woohoo!” Akinyele shouted. It had to be him.

  “Are you okay?” Solange asked with concern in her voice.

  “I’m fine. Now I must go,” Akinyele said, hurrying her off the phone.

  Pressing flash, she punched in Nakalem’s home number. She knew that he wouldn’t go long without calling her. Thank God for secretaries. Without Solange, she would never have known that Nakalem called.

  “Hello?” a female voice answered with the inflection of lukewarm dishwater.

  “Nakalem?”

  “Does this sound like Nakalem?” the woman asked in a rude manner.

  “No, he just normally answers his own phone,” Akinyele hissed. “He never mentioned having a rude sister…”

  “Oh really?” she asked in a mocking and patronizing tone. “That’s probably because I have been out of the country for the better part of the year. I am here now and I am back to stay. Thank you for entertaining him for me while I was away. Now, your mission is completed.”

  Before Akinyele could reply, the heifer hung up on her. Sitting there on her couch, she looked at the mouthpiece with her mouth hanging open. She didn’t, Akinyele said to herself. She hit redial faster than you could say whodoesthisbitchthinksheis.

  “Let me speak to Nakalem now!” Akinyele roared with fire in her voice as soon as the line was picked up.

  “Ummm..this is me. Is there something wrong with you?”

  “Yes, there is something wrong, but not with me. There is definitely something wrong with the bitch that just answered your phone,” Akinyele spewed out.

  “I tried to take the phone from her but she closed the door,” Nakalem explained as Akinyele let out a sigh of relief.

  So she got loud on me without his permission, Akinyele thought logically. Hold on. What was he doing with a woman in his house?

  “Who is she?” Akinyele questioned.

  “Brigette is my ex,” Nakalem said in a defeated way.

  “You never told me that you were married,” Akinyele accused.

  “That’s because I never was. She is my ex-fiancée,” Nakalem said as Akinyele heard her make a snide comment in the background.

  “Okay. Well what is she doing there now?”

  “Her marriage went sour and she came back to the States. She was actually on her way out when you called the first time,” Nakalem said.

  “Alright. What is she still doing there now then? And why the hell are the people at your job saying that you are out of town until Monday?”

  “I had plans to fly to New Orleans and surprise you. Things happened and I missed the flight. I came back here and that’s when Brigette showed up. She is about to leave now,” he said to Akinyele and Brigette at the same time.

  “Look, I need to cool down…call me in an hour,” Akinyele said. Her head was spinning; her heart was thumping; and there was an ache at the bottom of her stomach.

  She never bought into the theory that men were dogs, but now she was starting to think that maybe millions of women were right. She should have known better than falling in love with a man that she met over the internet. She felt like a fool. She’d flown to fuckin’ Georgia and given her body to a man who was still mooning over his ex. Now that was some shit! Akinyele was angry. More so than angry, she was hurt. Crushed. She didn’t notice when the first tear fell. Nor did she notice when a thousand others joined it, sliding down her cheeks.

  Waking up with the leather of the sofa sticking to her skin, Akinyele rolled over and answered the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Are you alright?” Nakalem asked.

  She had just spent the last hour crying and here he was, asking her if she was alright.

  “No, I am not alright,” Akinyele admitted easily. “I am hurt. You used me and the worst part about it all is that I allowed you to use me.”

  “I didn’t use you, Akinyele. I care about you. We enjoyed each other. Give me a chance to explain the way that things really are and you’ll know that I care for you,” Nakalem pleaded.

  “I thought that you told me the truth about things in the beginning. Now you’re saying that you left things out?” There was no way that Akinyele would allow Nakalem to talk himself out of this one. She had survived being single for so many years and a few more certainly wouldn’t kill her. She loved and respected herself far too much to allow blinders to be put over her eyes.

  “Akinyele, talk to me,” Nakalem said.

  “I would if I knew what to say,” Akinyele admitted dryly.

  “Look, as I told you, I had plans to fly to New Orleans and surprise you. They were foiled. Now, I don’t care who goes where but I can’t let the weekend go by without seeing you and setting the record straight,” he said frankly. “By any means necessary. I don’t care what I have to do. Either you’re coming here or I am going there.”

  “It really isn’t that serious,” Akinyele began.

  “Yes it is. When I met you, I knew that you were going to become a part of me. Now, I am just not willing to let that slip away,” Nakalem said. “There isn’t another flight to New Orleans until 9 p.m.. Can you come here?” he asked.

  “You mean you want me to jump in my car and drive twelve hours on such short notice?” Akinyele asked nastily.

  “No, no, no Akinyele. Listen to me. There are no flights leaving New Orleans until nine. If you aren’t willing to come here, I can wait until nine and go there. However, there is a flight leaving New Orleans coming here in exactly forty-five minutes. Don’t say maybe. Don’t say no. Just tell me that you’ll be on it,” Nakalem begged. “Say yes, Baby.”

  “Okay,” Akinyele said, already switching to the cordless phone and running upstairs to pack. “How much is this flight going to cost me?”

  “Nothing. I am purchasing the ticket as we speak. It’ll be waiting for you at the Delta counter,” Nakalem said. Hearing him tap on his keyboard had to be the most wonderful sound. But she couldn’t let it melt her heart just yet. Nakalem had some explaining to do.

  Speeding her Acura along I-10 west, Akinyele took the Metarie exit and raced to the airport. For once in her life, she looked like hell. She was one of those people who never had a bad day. She always looked so done. Now, she actually looked did. Her eyes had huge rings around them from crying like the damned fool she felt like. Her auburn afro was on a serious lean to the left. She would have to do some magic on that plane.

  Leaving her car in the long-term parking lot and catching the shuttle, Akinyele was at the Delta counter in no time. He lied. I bet he didn’t buy that ticket, the skeptic in her said.

  “Here we go,” the ticket agent said as she handed Akinyele’s license back to her. “You’ll get your return boarding pass when you check your baggage in Tuesday afternoon.”

  Akinyele really couldn’t lie. Nakalem was a man of his word. But Tuesday? Akinyele worked. Very hard, she had to admit. She couldn’t just miss two days of work to frolic with him. After asking the agent if she would be able to change the flight day and time if necessary, Akinyele walked over to the boarding gate.

  Within minutes, Akinyele was eastbound and airborne. This was crazy. Sure, she was grown but she couldn’t just go galloping to another coast simply because someone wanted to see her. Sure, she wanted to see Nakalem and have him explain things to her in her face, but they were still basically strangers. Wel
l, maybe not strangers, but damn near. She was feeling him, but he could still be a serial killer. She did meet him on the net. Would a serial killer cause your vagina to do figure eights every time you thought about him? the stupid inner voice asked her.

  “Well…” Akinyele mistakenly answered out loud.

  “Well, what?” her elderly seat mate asked.

  “Well, what is your destination?” Akinyele asked him, trying to play off the fact that she had spoken out loud to an inner voice.

  “Well, my ticket said Savannah and we’re on a Savannah bound plane so I might be going to Savannah,” he said as he rolled his rheumy old eyes at her. Turning his head, he made a comment to himself about young people and that dope.

  Akinyele’s nerves were much too stringy for her to get up and go to the lavatory so she pulled out her magic bag of tricks and performed a few minor miracles. If Miss Thang had popped up at Nakalem’s house after ages of being away, then Akinyele knew that she popped up looking good. The voice of vanity told Akinyele that she had to look just as good or better.

  Chapter Eight

  WAS IT REALLY JUST A DREAM?

  Where the hell is he? Akinyele had been standing next to the baggage claim pit (looking very fly, if she had to admit it) for over an hour. When she tried calling, Nakalem’s voicemail picked up on the first ring. Akinyele was mad. No. Take that back. She was fucking pissed!

  What if this was one big joke? What if he and ole girl are standing somewhere, hiding and laughing their asses off at you? Some couples get off on role-playing, you know! What if sleeping with you actually improved his sex life with his wife and his marriage in general?

  Shaking the voice of doubt that nagged her, Akinyele walked over to the Hertz counter and slammed down her purse. She was no bumpkin. She knew how to rent herself a car and find her way to Nakalem’s house. She had dropped everything (OK, OK…so she had a long and lonely weekend stretched out in front of her before Nakalem called) and flown to Savannah. He was going to see her if it killed him. And if a woman was the reason that he had stood her up at the airport, Akinyele was gonna hurt both of them!

  It’s really hard to play Destructive Diva when you’re struggling with the power steering on a tiny, white, three-door Geo Metro hatchback. The Hertz agent gave Akinyele some long drawn out song and dance about nothing else being available without reservations because of some damned Garden Society convention. What else could she do? Her arms hurt, her ass was sore, and her knees were killing her! She couldn’t tell if the brothers on the freeway were looking at her saying damn, she’s fly or how that big ass girl gonna get out of that lil’ car?

  It took Akinyele a while to find Nakalem’s street but about fifteen minutes later, she was fighting with the wheel in the hand over hand motion to turn in his driveway. No truck. Extracting herself from the metal matchbox, she knocked. No Nakalem. Akinyele was mad. No, she was fucking pissed! When this Negro got his Black ass home, she was gonna put on the clown suit for his ass. Did he know who he was playing with? She was runner up for Miss Poison! She had men all over New Orleans salivating over her fine self and he stands her up?

  If you have so many men salivating, why are you a zillion miles from home, knocking the damn door off the hinges?

  “Oh shut the fuck up,” Akinyele said aloud, catching the attention of Nakalem’s neighbor. She made a mental note to see if her health insurance covered psychotherapy. Either she was going to get rid of all the little voices or she was going to get shot after making some kind of statement to them.

  With a giggle and an apologetic smile at the neighbor, Akinyele walked back to the car and began unloading her bags. She planned on sitting on top of her suitcase and waiting until he got home. As Jennifer Holliday sang, I’m not going! Akinyele thought to herself. Just as she was taking out her carry-on, she looked up to see Nakalem pulling into the driveway.

  “So nice of you to show up!” Akinyele screamed at him.

  “I just left the airport. I was a little late and by the time I got there, you were gone,” Nakalem began.

  “Bull-fucking-shit,” Akinyele said, exercising the wonderful words that twelve years of Catholic school had taught her. The fucker seemed to be ignoring her!

  “Is this your car?” Nakalem questioned as he stared at the Metro in awe. Just then, Akinyele noticed it had Louisiana plates.

  “Indeed not! Do I look like the Geo type of woman?”

  “Well, actually, nothing is wrong with it,” Nakalem said as he walked up to the car and began shaking it with just one of his hands.

  “Hertz has rentals all over the country. This one probably got stuck here,” Akinyele said logically. She had totally forgotten that she was mad. “Anyway, what gave you the fucking right to leave me at the airport?”

  Looking at Akinyele, Nakalem shook his head and walked towards the house. Unlocking the door, he turned to look at her.

  “Are you coming in or what?” Nakalem asked as he scooped up her bag.

  “Not until you explain and apologize,” Akinyele said. She was playing the angry diva role to the hilt. Nakalem was going to learn not to play with this femme!

  “Okay, have it your way,” Nakalem said as he picked up Akinyele’s remaining bags and brought them into the house. The nerve of him!

  Huffing and puffing, Akinyele burst into the front door. Whoever she was that held him up, he had strewn roses all over the carpet for her! Akinyele had noticed that Nakalem was dressed up and smelling heavily of cologne. His natural hair was freshly edged and shiny. Phyllis Hyman was crooning on the surround sound and…wait a minute! Sniffing the air, Akinyele realized that Nakalem had cooked something scrumptious for the bitch too! Hot on his heels, Akinyele walked into the kitchen just in time to see Nakalem wrap tinfoil around a cake that said “Welcome Akinyele” in loopy pink letters.

  “Nakalem…”

  “Yes,” Nakalem said in a tone that was a little too business-like.

  “Nothing,” Akinyele rasped. Okay, now she felt like the letter after Z. She had just cursed him to pieces and now she realized that he was late because he was here…doing things just for her.

  “Great,” Nakalem said, eyeing the low look in her eyes. “That’s just how I felt when I busted my ass coming back here to find out what happened to you and you attacked me, calling me everything but Nakalem.”

  “I’m sorry,” Akinyele explained. “Really.”

  “I don’t know what kind of people that you’ve dealt with in your life so far, but I am not going to put up with verbal abuse. I am not the one,” Nakalem said as he looked Akinyele squarely in the eye. “Now, I know that I was dead wrong for being late, but you didn’t even give me a chance to explain things. You just attacked. People may have pacified you all your life, but that all stops here. Now if you choose to act like an adult, I’ll meet you on that level but if you insist on being Drama Diva, we can both get off the train right here.”

  That’s when Akinyele bent to pick up her face from the floor. It was in pieces. Yes, Akinyele, the original Dramatic Diva, had been broken down.

  “You don’t know how I felt when I got to the airport and you weren’t there. The agent told me that you had been on the flight,” Nakalem said with a softer voice. Moving up to Akinyele, he put an arm around her shoulder and fingered her hair. “I thought you had turned around and went home. I felt awful for being late.”

  “It’s okay. I really didn’t mind getting the car,” Akinyele lied.

  Placing a finger tenderly across Akinyele’s lips, Nakalem smiled and looked her in the eyes.

  “Shhhh! I want this thing that we have to work out. I really do. But you have to be willing to work with me. To compromise. To listen to the whole story. Things happen and perfect picnics get interrupted,” Nakalem said.

  In the back of her mind, Akinyele knew that Nakalem was speaking of both his tardiness and Miss Queen Bitch popping up and going off on her over the phone. Speaking of which…nah…that could wait until later.


  Inhaling the scent of magnolias, Akinyele smiled as the balmy night air hit up against her face. She could grow to love Savannah.

  “I wish it was cold. I build awesome fires,” Nakalem said as he handed her the glass of zinfandel and moved to close the window that she had opened to breathe in the evening air. “I spent a fortune on that fireplace and it hardly ever gets cold enough for me to use it.”

  Sitting down next to him, Akinyele discreetly unbuttoned her pants. Brutha had thrown down! If she accidentally cut herself right then and there, sautéed shrimp and scallions would have poured out instead of blood. The moment that Akinyele sat at the table, she understood why he was late. With each bite, she felt more and more like a fool for bawling him out. He’d really gone out of his way to show her a great evening and she had nearly ruined it!

  “Okay. About Brigette,” Nakalem said, sitting forward on the sofa.

  Sighing, Akinyele set down her drink. She knew that the harmony had to come to an end.

  “Akinyele, I was once like you,” he began. “Just like you, in fact. Not meaning any harm or disrespect to you, but the world revolved around me. The only person that I looked out for was me. Which was good but which also became my downfall. I had other offers but I didn’t want someone unless they were on my level. I had to have the best of everything. The smallest flaw would turn me off. A forgotten “s” at the end of a word, red lipstick worn with pink nail polish, anything. I looked for a fast excuse to dismiss people that I thought were not worthy of me. Then I made a mistake. I prayed for a woman and I learned God is ironic. You have to be careful what you wish for because you’ll get it and live to regret it. I asked for a woman. Not just a woman, but a perfect woman. Enter Brigette. She was beautiful. Smart, savvy, educated, fine, smelled like heaven, voice like a siren, perfect. But everything that’s good to you isn’t good for you. When I met Brigette, I felt like my life was golden. Everything was complete. But just like I felt no one but her was good enough for me, she felt that I wasn’t quite good enough for her. She strung me along until she met the legendary one better. Better car, better looking, better job. She jumped ship and I became Black history. It was the first time that I knew the true meaning of hurt. It was the first time that I cried since I became a grown man. My feelings weren’t even considered. She was gone.”