Blackgentlemen.com

by Zane

  Roz glared at Tasha. “Well, doesn’t he have a return ticket so he can get back for his J-O-B?” She turned her attention to Rinaldo. “You do have a J-O-B, right, Rinaldo?”

  “I work for a buddy of mine, so I’m cool. I can take time off whenever I like.”

  Tasha looked up at him. She’d been under the impression that Rinaldo worked in the telemarketing department of a large corporation. All of the numbers dialed out were random and the employees weren’t allowed to receive calls in, which is why Tasha wasn’t ever given his work number.

  “Congrats on your lenient work habits, but do you have a return ticket? Yes or no?” Roz asked crassly.

  “Rinaldo, why don’t you go inside and make yourself comfortable.” Tasha went over to her trunk and unlocked it. She took his bag out and handed it to him. “I’ll be in shortly.”

  Rinaldo sucked his teeth, went up the walkway to the slightly-ajar front door, and disappeared inside.

  “Roz, what the fuck is your problem?”

  “What the fuck is yours?”

  “Rinaldo is here as my guest and I won’t tolerate you showing your ass in front of him!”

  “Tasha, I know times are hard in D.C., but I’m still against this.”

  “Did you see him? Look at how fine he is.”

  “Yes, I saw him, and you know just as well as I do that fine don’t mean shit when it comes to men. The finer they are, the louder their bark.”

  Tasha realized Roz had a point, but went on the defensive anyway. “Rinaldo’s different. He’s sweet. He’s sensitive. He’s…”

  “So hard up for some punta that he’d fly across country to get some,” Roz interrupted.

  “I’m not just punta to him, Roz. I’m much more than that.”

  Roz squatted and picked the sponge back up out of the bucket. “If you say so.”

  Tasha lifted the bucket by the handle and tossed it across the driveway, the contents spilling out and tracing a path down to the street.

  Roz leered at her. “See, now you’re acting childish.”

  Tasha didn’t respond. She walked inside while Roz headed down to the curb to get the bucket.

  Tasha and Rinaldo spent the next couple of hours locked in her bedroom fucking like minks. She was finally able to do her ritual and seductively strip down to nothing. Roz kept walking past the door coughing, which Tasha found extremely ignorant. She turned on her boom box and let Kevon Edmonds’ CD, highly regarded by Tasha as the best knocking-boots arrangement of the year, navigate her movements. She’d been dying to sex a man down off of the music.

  After they fucked so hard that every shred of linen was on the floor and the mattress was halfway off the box spring, Tasha told Rinaldo they needed to hit the shower so they could get to the cookout by five. She had two more messages from her mother on her voice mail asking if she was coming and, if so, to be there no later than five since her parents were going at four.

  Rinaldo still didn’t want to attend the family function.

  “Why we gotta go over to your fam’s house, anyway? I like chillin’ right here, knocking the bottom out that pussy.”

  While not the most romantic thing ever said to her, Tasha still basked in his compliment. “Well, you can resume the bottom knocking later. We don’t have to stay long. I just know that if I don’t show, my mother will be talking trash about me and my family values for the next six months.”

  “Your parents know about me?”

  “Umm…”

  “Well, do they?”

  “Not exactly. In fact, do me a favor. When we get over there, don’t mention how we met.”

  “What if they ask?”

  “Tell them you met me at church.”

  “Church?” Rinaldo fell out laughing. “You know the last time my ass has been in a church?”

  “I haven’t a clue.”

  “Let’s put it this way. I was still wearing Stride Rite shoes.”

  Tasha got up off the bed and headed over to her dresser so she could pick out something to wear. Rinaldo got off by watching Tasha’s ass and breasts jiggle while she pulled out drawer after drawer. When she bent over to pull out the bottom drawer, he had to prevent himself from going over there and slamming her from the back one last time for good measure.

  “Just tell them we met through a mutual friend then,” Tasha said. “That doesn’t require any elaborate explanation because they only know a handful of my friends anyway.”

  “Okay, cool,” Rinaldo replied, licking his lips when Tasha turned around to face him, holding an armful of clothing. “What if they ask where I’m from?”

  “Tell them you’re from California. That you were living in D.C. for graduate school, but moved back to California last year to accept a job offer.”

  “Graduate school?” Rinaldo couldn’t believe she was trying to front on her parents like that. “Tasha, you’re a trip. Do I sound or act like I’ve been to anybody’s college, rather less graduate school?”

  “Rinaldo, my parents aren’t going to drill you with questions.” Tasha was hoping like all hell they wouldn’t. “It’s just a cookout. It’s not like I’m announcing our engagement or anything.”

  “So why lie then? Why we gotta pretend like I’m something I’m not?”

  “It’s not that.”

  “Sounds like that.”

  “There’s no need for us to go over there and be the center of attention. My Aunt Mavis always throws big ass cookouts. I know she is today since she wants to show off her new deck. Make sure you make a big deal over her deck. That’s important.”

  “Whatever, Tasha.”

  Chapter Six

  As soon as they pulled up to the cul-de-sac belonging to Tasha’s Aunt Mavis and Uncle Rufus, Tasha realized she had made a mistake by bringing Rinaldo. She assumed there would be a lot of people there, but there were cars lined up and down both sides of the street for blocks. Tasha prayed that someone else on the street was also entertaining, but knew better. There was a back-up of people waiting to get through the gate.

  “Dang, your family sure knows how to party!” Rinaldo exclaimed, having second thoughts about being there. “I thought this would be some dull ass thing, but look at all these fly ass honies. That redbone over there is fine as shit.”

  That hit a nerve. Like most women, Tasha found it extremely disrespectful for a man to talk about other women in front of her.

  “Well, maybe you can just go home with her ass at the end of the night then,” she lashed out at Rinaldo.

  He started giggling like a bitch. “You’re funny. You know that?”

  “I don’t see a damn thing funny about me or your hoochie comment.”

  “Look, I’m sorry. Shit. Just take a chill pill and park the car.”

  “What does it look like I’m trying to do?”

  Rinaldo started beating on the dash like he was the drummer for a rock band. Tasha continued down the street to find a space.

  Rinaldo fit right in with the family, joining Uncle Rufus, Tasha’s father Douglas, and other men’s men for a shot of Jack Daniels. Tasha was relieved her father didn’t ask any questions about Rinaldo when she introduced him. She doubted she would fair so well with her mother and she was right.

  “Who’s that?” her mother Allison demanded to know before she even bothered to say hello to Tasha.

  “His name’s Rinaldo, Mom.”

  “Rinaldo? What kind of stupid name is that?”

  Tasha sat down on a stool beside the breakfast bar in the kitchen while her mother and aunt stared out the bay window over the sink into the backyard. They were scoping Rinaldo so hard that Tasha was surprised they didn’t both break out binoculars so they could see what length his eyelashes were.

  “Rinaldo is not a stupid name, Mom. It’s just different. I happen to love his name.”

  Aunt Mavis decided she’d seen enough and went back to stirring relish into her potato salad. “He’s a cutie, Tasha.”

  “Thank you, Aunt Mavis.”
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  “How long you been seeing him?” Allison asked, still leering out the window.

  “Long enough to know he’s a keeper.”

  “A keeper? Hmph!”

  “Mom, please don’t start in on me today. I showed up. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

  “Yes, it does,” Aunt Mavis said. “I’m glad you came, even if your mother is acting foul.”

  Allison switched her leer over to her baby sister. “Mavis, I’m trying to be cool, but don’t make me show my ass in your home.”

  Tasha rolled her eyes, picked up a cracker from the tray sitting on the bar, and slapped a chunk of cheddar cheese on it. Her mother and aunt had a history of going at each other’s throats. Literally in one instance. Tasha had heard the story about them beating each other up on a school bus in high school no less than a hundred times. They were only two years apart in age, but eons apart in personality.

  “Allison, you need to leave Tasha alone. That’s a fine young man she brought to the cookout with her. Look at how well he’s getting along with Rufus and Douglas.”

  “So where did you meet this Rinaldo?” Allison asked sarcastically. “At a club?”

  “No, I met him through a friend.”

  “What friend?”

  “Someone you don’t know,” Tasha replied crassly. “Where does he live?”

  “Right now, he lives in California. I met him when he was going to grad school at Howard. He’s just here for the weekend.”

  “At least he’s educated. Good job?”

  “Yes.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Minding his business,” Tasha said angrily. “I’m going back out to the cookout if you don’t need me to do anything, Aunt Mavis.”

  Aunt Mavis giggled and made circles around her temple while staring at Allison’s back. “No thanks, sweetie. Your mother and I have everything covered.”

  Tasha laughed at her aunt’s antics. Her mother did tend to act like a loony bird at times.

  Tasha searched the large backyard for Rinaldo. He was no longer sitting with the other men’s men. She went back in the house to see if he’d gone to the bathroom, but the one on the first floor was empty. She was on her way back outside when she heard laughter as she passed the basement door.

  Tasha was ready to go into bitch mode when she descended the steps only to find Rinaldo curled up on the sofa in the family room with the “redbone” he’d spotted earlier from the car.

  Rinaldo sensed her presence and looked up. “Oh hey, Tasha. This is Maddie.”

  Tasha just glared at the hoochie in the skintight shorts riding up her ass and skimpy top made out of a bandana. “Who invited you here?”

  “Damn, who are you? The cookout police? Security guard or some shit like that?” the woman lashed out at her.

  Rinaldo started laughing, but clamped his mouth shut when he saw the expression on Tasha’s face. He stood up and walked over to her. “Look, Maddie and I were just talking. It’s hot as hell outside and I just wanted to chill for a few.”

  “What could you and Maddie possibly have to talk about? Other than how to dress like a skank-ass hoe.”

  “Bitch, I will stuff my foot up your ass!” Maddie shouted, jumping up from the sofa and balling up her fists.

  “Hold up! Ladies, no need to fight over me. I have lots of love to give.” Rinaldo chuckled. “If you want, you can share. I don’t mind being used.”

  Is this fool serious? Tasha asked herself, finding it hard to fathom that the words had even left his mouth.

  Maddie walked over to Rinaldo and started rubbing his chest. “I’m not much for sharing but, as fine as you are, I might make an exception.”

  Tasha knocked Maddie’s hand off of Rinaldo. “Touch him again and it’s on.”

  Maddie smacked her lips and brushed in between them, rubbing her breasts up against Rinaldo. “If the little girl grows up, you know where to find me.”

  She disappeared up the steps.

  “You bastard!”

  “Aw, chill the fuck out already Tasha. I was just kidding.”

  For the first time, Tasha noticed Rinaldo’s slurred speech and got a whiff of the alcohol on his breath.

  “You’re drunk, aren’t you? That’s why you’re acting stupid. How much of that Jack Daniels did you have?”

  Rinaldo grabbed Tasha by the arms and jerked her. “Don’t ever call me stupid! Not ever!”

  Tasha pulled away from him. “Maybe we should just go. It was a bad idea to come.”

  “I’m not going anywhere but back outside to get my eat and drink on. You want to leave, go for it. I’ll get Maddie to drop me off later.”

  “After you fuck her?”

  Rinaldo grabbed Tasha by the arms again. “Don’t make me angry, girl!”

  He released her and stomped up the steps. Tasha fell down on the bottom steps and cried.

  Tasha composed herself and joined the cookout again about ten minutes later, after splashing cold water on her face in the basement bathroom. Everyone was seated at picnic tables or on lawn chairs eating and there was a ton of food left on the long table when Tasha went to fix herself a plate.

  She sat down next to Rinaldo, who was seated next to Uncle Rufus and Aunt Mavis and across from her parents.

  “Tasha, where you been baby?” Rinaldo asked cheerfully, like no drama ever went down in the basement.

  Tasha leered at him and then faked a smile. “I was freshening up.”

  “You looked flushed, sweetie,” Aunt Mavis commented. “Are you too hot?”

  “No, I’m fine. Really. By the way, Aunt Mavis and Uncle Rufus, I love this deck. The contractor did an amazing job.”

  Tasha elbowed Rinaldo. He took the cue.

  “Yeah, this deck is all that and a bag of chips.”

  Allison just stared at her daughter while she ate her ribs with a fork and knife. Tasha was always tickled by her mother’s ways. She was the only person Tasha knew who ate hot dogs, hamburgers, and ribs with a fork and knife instead of just picking them up and grubbing.

  “Rinaldo, Tasha tells me you’re from California?” Allison asked snidely.

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “What part? We have some friends in Bel Air.”

  “Bel Air?” Rinaldo chuckled. “Who? The Fresh Prince?”

  Everyone at the table laughed except Allison. She had no idea who The Fresh Prince was.

  “Actually, one of Douglas’ college roommates is a paleontologist. He and his wife live in Bel Air.”

  “A paleon what?”

  “Paleontologist. You don’t know what that means?”

  “Know what it means? I can’t even spell it.”

  Tasha’s father and uncle snickered, but Aunt Mavis knew things were about to heat up.

  Allison repeated her previous question. “What part of California are you from?”

  “Compton,” Rinaldo announced proudly.

  “Compton? Isn’t that the center of a lot of gang activity?”

  Rinaldo snickered. “Yeah, so, and?”

  Allison looked like she was about to vomit. She darted her eyes back and forth from Tasha to Rinaldo and then settled back on Tasha. “How did you say you met this young man again?”

  “Momma, if you don’t stop this interrogation right now, we’re leaving,” Tasha replied angrily.

  Tasha’s father issued a warning. “Allison, enough! You’re always complaining about not seeing Tasha enough. Let’s just enjoy the rest of the evening. It’ll be dark soon.”

  “This party’s not ending when the sun goes down. Be for real. I have flood lights all over the back of the house and in the yard,” Uncle Rufus bragged. He glared across the table at Allison with his bloodshot eyes. He’d had his fair share of Jack Daniels and then some. “Ally, you want some more ribs? You could sure use some more meat on those bones of yours.”

  Allison was so insulted by Rufus’ comment about her body that she laid off of Tasha and Rinaldo while everyone finished eating.


  Tasha was counting the minutes before she could make an escape with Rinaldo in tow. She figured if they stayed until nine, no one could accuse them of eating and running. Maddie AKA hoochie had finally left a few minutes before. It turned out she was the daughter of a man Uncle Rufus did janitorial work with. Her uncle was a janitor and, like most janitors, his own house stayed immaculate. Her mother had talked big junk when Aunt Mavis married him, but after all was said and done, they did have a fly ass home and were doing great for themselves.

  Tasha was in the kitchen helping to do dishes while Rinaldo was outside on the deck, once again surrounded by all the men’s men. They were all drunk by that point. Tasha was determined not to drink anything alcoholic. Fourth of July weekend was infamous for drunk drivers and she didn’t intend to be one of them.

  “When is Rinaldo leaving?” her mother asked, sneaking up behind her.

  “When he wants to,” Tasha replied sarcastically.

  “What field is his graduate degree in?”

  “A good one.”

  “Tasha, you don’t have to be so nasty.”

  Tasha swung around to face her. “And neither do you, Momma. No matter what man I bring around you, you always find something wrong with him. I’m not going to take it anymore. I’m an adult and, as an adult, I have the right to choose who I allow to become a part of my life. You better just learn to deal with that.”

  Allison was appalled. She took a few steps back and positioned herself on a stool. Aunt Mavis walked back in the patio door with another handful of serving dishes with leftovers to wrap up and put away. She could sense the tension in the air so she just cleared her throat and went into the walk-in pantry to get some more aluminum foil.

  “Tasha, I never raised you to disrespect me.”

  “I know that, Momma. You raised me to be independent and strong, which is exactly what I am. I have a good job. I got my education. I never ask you and daddy for any money. Roz and I have a nice home. But, it’s never good enough, is it? You always want and expect more.”