by Hall, Thomas
The idea is striking for its simplicity and a little shocking in how right it seems. I have never been a self-sacrificing man, but the world has changed. I could be capable of changing as well.
I will go back to Cortez and offer him a deal. It feels like the right thing to do.
CHAPTER 29
THEY ARE BOTH ASLEEP WHEN I WAKE UP. It is dark enough that I could imagine I am somewhere else, but my days of imagining things are over. I’ve seen the truth of the world now and know that I can no longer pretend everything is going to be okay.
Nothing is ever going to be okay again.
If I can draw any comfort from what I am planning to do, it is that Harriet will have some kind of life and my discomfort will be short. I plan to make that part of the deal.
I don’t take a bag. Better to leave it for them, they will need the food, whereas I can afford to starve myself now. If I am weak when the end comes, what difference will it make?
After weeks of practice, I am able to move quickly and quietly in the darkness. I remember where the door is and go to it.
Outside the sky is moonless and a thick layer of cloud covers the stars. It is difficult to see anything, but at least it is warmer than it has been lately, at least my final walk will be in comfort.
I close the door behind me and start moving.
I am three streets away when I become aware of someone moving behind me. I knew this was a possibility but the thought of it still scares me. What if I am wrong and Cortez doesn’t value their lives? What if his thugs kill me before I get a chance to offer them to him?
I stop walking and wait for them to catch me, no show of defence, no aggressive moves.
“Out for a walk?” Michelle says.
Her voice startles me, I didn’t expect to hear it and, now that I have, I realise what a fool I’ve been. She was awake the whole time and heard me go. I should have planned for this, I should have prepared in some way. Though even now a part of me is glad.
“Where’s Harriet?” I say.
“Sleeping.”
I turn to face her, my knife already drawn.
“Are you going to stab me?” she says.
“I don’t want to,” I say.
“You want to let Cortez have his fun instead? Is that it?”
I say nothing.
“If you’re planning to reason with him, you’re wasting your time. You can’t reason with a man like that.”
“He wants me dead,” I say. The words sound hollow now that I speak them aloud, how is that possible when they made so much sense in my head? “You and Harriet will be safe.”
“Of course we won’t,” she says. “He’ll kill us as well.”
“You don’t know that,” I say.
“But you know he won’t?”
“Why would he?”
“Because he’s Cortez,” she says and somehow that makes more sense than every other argument I can come up with.
Of course he will kill them, it’s what he does.
“Douglas couldn’t have come with us,” she says. “He knew that.”
“He didn’t have to die though,” I say. “He could have had a life here.”
She moves towards me, nodding.
“It’s my fault,” I say.
“And mine. I came and found you. I took you into the castle. She’ll be waking up soon,” Michelle says. “You should be there when she does.”
I nod but we don’t move yet. We stand there in the street. I wonder whether she’s right, but that doesn’t matter. She has shown me that I don’t know how to tell the difference any more.
When we get back Harriet is still asleep. Enough light streams through the dirt encrusted windows for me to see her.
I can't believe I was going to abandon her.
No, worse than that, I was going to hand her over to the most dangerous man in the city.
What kind of father am I?
"I won't tell her," Michelle says. "She never has to know."
"Thank you," I say.
I walk to her bed on the grotty bench. She stirs as I sit down beside her.
"Harriet?" I say.
She mumbles something and tries to roll over. When she was a baby, the slightest noise would wake her and then she would be up and ready to play like it was morning.
"Harriet it's time to go," I say.
I hear Michelle rattling around in the kitchen, getting breakfast ready for us. I put a hand on Harriet's shoulder and shake her.
"Time to wake up honey."
She opens her eyes and looks at me. I see such trust in them that I am ashamed all over again.
"Sorry to wake you," I say.
She smiles and rolls off the bench. She stretches and I want to hold her, but I don't. "We should get there today?" she says.
I nod. I don't know how much further it is, but we are running out of time. "Come on, let's see if Michelle found anything to eat."
I follow her into the kitchen. It seems impossible that I was so close to giving her up. I try to remember that I didn't give her up, but it feels like I did..
I don't speak, but watch Michelle out the corner of my eye, as if she is going to break her promise at any moment.
When we have finished we pick up our bags and leave without ceremony. I should feel better now, we are so close to safety, but there is still so much that could go wrong.
CHAPTER 30
SUNRISE FINDS US ALREADY SEVERAL HOURS INTO OUR final day of walking. There has been no sign of Cortez's men, but I am not prepared to write them off yet. It is possible that they believe we all died in the explosion yesterday. But somehow Cortez will find out the truth.
I only hope that, when he does, we are on a boat out at sea where he can't touch us.
We are on the edge of the city now. There are fewer businesses and more residential addresses. I can see the river in the distance, the ancient buildings of old London looming overhead.
"How much further do you think?" Harriet says.
It is not the first time she has asked and I have no answer to give her. If we were on the tube I could tell her the number of stops and how long it was likely to be. "I don't know honey, are you getting tired?"
"No," she says.
We walk for a few minutes more in silence.
"I hope I get my own room on the boat," she says.
"Harriet, I don't think--"
But she isn't listening to me.
"No, not my own room," she says. "A room we can share together."
I glance at Michelle and find her doing the same to me. Am I being set up for a date by my daughter? Would mind if I am?
She raises her eyebrows. "Problem?"
I shake my head and turn away. Now isn't the best time to be looking for a new wife, I should be happy enough that Harriet has found a surrogate mother. If anything comes later then that will be a bonus.
I hear engines somewhere behind us, but when we turn there is nobody there. I am not sure whether to worry but find that I don’t. I’m not sure whether this means I’ve become numb to the idea of danger, or that there isn’t any danger. I don’t get any answers when I look in Michelle’s direction.
The sound follows us and we drift towards the safety of shadows. We walk through people’s gardens, trampling through long grass and climbing over fences. Nobody comes out to shout at us. The people who lived in these houses are now at sea and the chances of them coming back are small.
We keep walking.
We are close now. I can feel it. In the distance I can see a soft glow in the air, the hum of electricity.
The sun is beginning to set when I see the first helicopter.
It is a speck on the horizon, a piece of dust of a computer screen, but the sound of its engine carries.
“Come on daddy,” Harriet says.
I turn to look at her and realise that I’ve stopped walking. I look back at the sky but the helicopter has gone and there are no more. Are there anymore? Have we missed our last chance to get o
ff this island?
“Let’s keep moving,” Michelle says. I can tell by her tone that she is wondering the same thing: what if we get there any no one’s left?
There is no more time to worry about the engines behind us, or to take in the view of the setting sun. We trample over everything in our way and ignore our surroundings as far as it’s possible. Anything that stands between us and the heliport is in our way and has to go.
It is another twenty minutes before we reach the heliport.
Tall fences wrapped in barbed wire surround the airfield. Floodlights stand thirty or forty metres above us and make the night into day. There are eleven helicopters on the ground and the relief that is impossible to describe.
We walk towards the only building nearby.
It is a large glass structure, like a dome, or an airport. I can see lights inside and people in uniform moving around. When we are closer I see the armed soldiers standing at the door.
Harriet takes my hand and I squeeze it back. I know that everything is going to be alright now. The soldiers are security. Once we are inside we will be safe.
A squeal of tires somewhere behind us.
Michelle turns around.
“Come on,” she says. The look on her face is enough for me to know that we need to hurry, we can’t fail this close to the end.
We hurry across the road. Michelle reaches back and takes my hand so that we are a single form moving towards the building.
The soldiers see us.
They raise their guns.
For a moment I am sure that they are going to shoot and then this will all be over. I am so tired that I don’t have the strength to feel fear until Harriet squeezes my hand again. I bring the three of us to a sudden stop.
My heart is beating so hard that I can feel it in my throat.
The soldiers come towards us, their guns still raised, painting us with little red dots.
“Who are you?” one of the soldiers says.
“Evan Alexander,” I say. My voice is strong, despite the very real fear. “This is my daughter Harriet, and our friend Michelle Westloch.”
The soldier stops in front of us. His gun aimed at my head. If he pulled the trigger now, would there be enough of me left to identify in a morgue?
“What are you doing here?” the soldier says.
“We’re not infected,” I say. “We were told to come here for the evacuation.”
“Who sent you?”
I give him an abridged version of what happened.
The soldier says nothing. I’m not sure what I expected. He doesn’t believe me and I have no way of proving anything to him. There is nothing to stop him pulling the trigger on his gun and ending my life here and now.
A car engine somewhere behind us causes the soldier to look up. I expect Michelle to try and grab the man’s gun, I look at her and attempt to warn her off with my eyes alone.
The soldier looks back at us before she can do anything. I'm not sure whether she would have done it, even if she'd had the chance.
“Come on,” the solider says. “Let’s get you inside.”
We follow him across the street to the front of the building. I don’t feel safe until the pressure sealed doors hiss closed behind us and we are all inside.
CHAPTER 31
THE AIR IS COOL AND HUMS WITH THE sound of air-conditioning units. We are in a small room with white walls and a metal table, nothing else. It is clean and I am filthy in comparison. The three of us are sitting together. No one has been in to see us since the soldier brought us here.
“This isn’t what I expected,” Michelle says.
I shrug and try to remember what the other evacuation centre was like. “I’m sure it’s fine,” I say, but I’m not. Something doesn’t feel right. The last time I was in a situation like this Cortez tried to kill me.
Finally the door opens and a woman walks in. She has wild red hair. I am reassured by the fact that she is wearing a lab coat, less so by the gun which I see tucked under her arm when it swings open.
“Hello,” she says. “I’m Doctor Little.”
She sits down on the other side of the table. She places a metal case in front of her and opens it. Inside there is a clipboard which she takes out and places on the table, beneath it there are syringes.
Doctor Little takes our names and writes them down. I am sure that this is all normal.
“Roll up your sleeve please,” she says to me.
“What for?” I say.
“I need to take your blood Mr Alexander. We need to make sure you aren’t infected.”
“I’m not infected,” I say.
“As you say, but we can’t take your word for it now, can we?”
I roll up my sleeve and put my arm out in front of me.
“This won’t hurt,” she says.
I nod and then she takes out the biggest needle I have ever seen. I turn away before feeling the sharp edge against the soft skin inside my elbow. It doesn’t hurt, but I can feel it entering me and it is unpleasant.
She takes what feels like a gallon of blood and then withdraws the needle. She hands me a piece of cotton and tells me to hold it against the puncture wound for a few minutes.
“You next,” she says to Michelle.
I see some reluctance from her. Is she clean? I only have her word to go on. But she presents her arm and has her blood drawn and then it’s Harriet’s turn.
What will I do if my daughter is infected? I assume she is immune, as I assume I am, but I have no way of knowing.
When she has finished, Doctor Little packs up her briefcase and leaves the room. We three are alone again.
The wait is interminable. It feels as if I have been awake for days, and the looks on Harriet and Michelle’s faces suggests they feel much the same. How long has it been since Doctor Little took our blood away for testing? How long does the procedure take?
I strain my ears but I can’t hear anything outside the room. What if they have forgotten about us? What if they leave us here?
I tap my fingers on the table.
We could talk, but what would we talk about? Our lives seem to hang in the balance and there is nothing we can do now to swing it either way.
I jump up when the door opens again.
“Good news,” the doctor says.
“We’re clean?” I say.
She nods. “If you will follow me I’ll take you through to the waiting room and then we’ll get you onto a helicopter as soon as possible.”
This is it, we’ve done it. We have cleared the last hurdle and now all we have to do is wait our turn and they will take to safety. I want to hug the doctor, but I manage to restrain myself. Instead I follow her out with Harriet and Michelle close behind.
The heliport is split over two levels. Doctor Little leads us towards a room at the back of the ground floor. We pass soldiers and people in lab coats doing important work.
I can see the helicopters through the window and count them again. Still eleven, which means that no one has left since we arrived, or if they have then a helicopter has returned. I’m not sure how it works.
“Can I get you anything?” she says. “Water?”
We all accept bottles of water and then she takes us into a large room full of soft chairs. There are people everywhere. More than a hundred. It reminds me of every airport I’ve ever been in.
Most of them wear a uniform of some kind. Police, ambulance, firefighters. There are no children.
“Take a seat,” Doctor Little says. “They’ll call your name when a helicopter is ready.”
I nod. I’m having trouble taking this all in. So many people. We’re so close to safety now that a little anxiety creeps in. That’s how my life is always going to be now. We will never be completely safe again.
“Thank you,” Michelle says to the doctor.
I open my mouth to echo the remark, but nothing comes out.
Michelle takes my hand and leads me away from the door. No one looks at us a
s we move through the room, but it feels as if we are being watched all the same.
CHAPTER 32
WE FIND THREE SEATS NEAR THE BACK OF the room, nearest the doors which lead out to the helicopters. We sit with our backs to it and watch the room.
Harriet leans her head against my chest and I put my arm around her. After a few minutes her breathing slows. The last few days have finally caught up with her. The fact that she feels safe enough to sleep here should reassure me. Instead my senses heighten, she is vulnerable so I have to be even more vigilant.
There are strange noises in the centre, but at this point I am half wild from living in the ruins of the city for so long. My senses are attuned to a different world and I am unable to tell whether any of the things I hear are dangers. My body seems to think they all are and I fidget in my seat as the adrenaline pumps through me. No one around me seems to think there is danger, but are they right, or am I?
Harriet shifts in my lap and I turn to look at Michelle. She seems uncomfortable here. But is that because I've never seen her in such a setting, or does she sense something as well?
I turn, meaning to ask her. Before I open my mouth the ground shakes and a sound like something from a war zone rips through the air.
Harriet rolls away and I am on my feet next to Michelle a moment later. She looks at me but doesn't say anything, she doesn't need to, I can see it all in her eyes.
Cortez.
Through the glass panels I can see soldiers hustling along corridors. Great explosions of colour light up the air behind them.
If it is Cortez then he's come prepared.
Michelle looks at me. "What do we do?"
I shake my head and wonder why she's asking. How am I supposed to know what to do in a situation like this?
The glass walls shake again. I turn and see cracks starting to form. The other people in the room are finally beginning to take notice, but none of them seem to know what to do either.
A group of police officers move towards the window which looks into the rest of the centre. I realise that they are at a bigger disadvantage than us. They need to work out what's going on before they can decide what to do about it. Assuming it's Cortez, we've already skipped the first step, not that it helps us much.