The Chains of Freedom (Starhawke Rising Book 2)

by Audrey Sharpe

  Maybe he was a fool to think they could build a future together. He’d allowed himself to hope, but she was probably trying to find the kindest words to turn him down. He’d deserve it, especially after all the pain he’d caused her in the past. He didn’t really expect her to forgive him. Ever.

  Shoving away his disappointment, he reached out and brushed his fingers along her cheek, coaxing a response. “But if that’s not what you want, I understand.”

  That got her moving. She jumped up like he’d given her an electric shock. It would have made him laugh if he wasn’t so damned scared that he was about to lose her. Again.

  She gazed down at him, her breath hitching in and out, causing her chest to rise and fall in a way that was arousing despite the circumstances. “What do I want?” she whispered, more to herself than to him. “What do I want?” she echoed, shaking her head slightly.

  He’d obviously thrown her a curve. Instead of bringing her back into his life, he might have just driven a permanent wedge between them. Brilliant, Ellis.

  But then he noticed a hint of a smile on her lips.

  She crossed her arms and studied him. “This situation is getting very complicated.”

  “You and me?”

  “You and me. You and my crew. You and Jonarel. Me and Jonarel.”

  He flinched at that last part.

  She paused, a shadow passing over her face. “Why do you hate him so much?”

  Her tone wasn’t accusatory. Just puzzled. But that made no sense. Was it possible she really didn’t know? Surely someone had told her? Reanne at the very least. She’d had a front row seat during the argument, and she’d never missed an opportunity to share tasty gossip, especially with Aurora.

  Jonarel Clarek was the last person he wanted to talk about right now, but if that’s what it took to keep the lines of communication open with Aurora, he’d do it. He swallowed. “You know about our argument, right?”

  Her eyebrows lifted. “The one between you and Jonarel? Of course. I was there, remember? I was the one who stopped you from killing each other.”

  He shook his head. “Not the night you and I broke up. I’m talking about the argument he and I had after the Christmas holiday. The night he showed up at my dorm room and told me I wasn’t good enough for you.”

  Her jaw literally dropped. “He said what?”

  Clearly, this was news to her. “He ordered me to leave you alone. I told him what he could do with his opinions. Things got heated.”

  “Why would he do that?” She looked horrified.

  Cade shrugged. “He didn’t like me. Never has.”

  Her expression clouded as she processed that information. “You said it got heated. But I don’t remember either of you ending up in the medical ward.”

  “We didn’t. It was just an argument. No big deal.” In reality, they would have come to blows that night, but Reanne had convinced Jonarel to leave with her.

  The next day, Reanne had sought Cade out and begged his forgiveness for not stopping Jonarel from going to his room in the first place. Apparently she’d been keeping Jonarel company while he was waiting to meet Aurora for a study date, and he’d started ranting about Cade, saying he was a bad influence on Aurora. He’d told Reanne he was going to confront Cade. She’d been worried about his emotional state, so she’d followed him. Which had turned out to be a good thing.

  Aurora’s direct gaze bored into him. “Just an argument? No big deal? Ten years of lethal hatred is what you call no big deal?”

  Well, no. But this wasn’t how he’d hoped to spend his first morning with her. He took her hands in his and tried to lighten the mood. “That’s the past. Let it go. I’d much rather talk about the future.”

  She didn’t return his smile. “Thank you for telling me.” Her tone indicated she’d be talking to Clarek about this. Soon. And when the Kraed found out that Aurora had spent the night with him, his hatred would soar to new heights.

  He sighed. “I’m sorry I did.”

  Some of the intensity faded from her eyes, replaced with concern. “Why?”

  “Because our situation is already dicey. Giving Clarek more reasons to hate me isn’t going to help.”

  She tilted her head to the side, her expression curious. “Why do you care what he thinks?”

  “I don’t. But he’s always going to be a part of your life. He’s the one who built this ship. Your ship. If I’m public enemy number one with him, that makes it tough for me to be with you.”

  She sighed. “You’re right.”

  Sometimes he hated being right.

  But instead of pulling away, she leaned forward and brushed her lips across his in a leisurely kiss. “But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.”

  CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE

  JONAREL’S keen sense of hearing alerted him to Aurora’s arrival in the hallway outside his cabin long before the door chimed.

  “Come in.”

  She stood in the open doorway, her blond hair pulled back in her customary braid and a small wooden box tucked under her arm. She held up the box. “I could use a distraction. How about you?”

  He knew what the box contained—the portable chess set he had made for her eighteenth birthday. He barely concealed the scowl that pulled at his mouth. That box reminded him of the discussion in his father’s study. The irony of Aurora’s choice made him wish he had burned the wood he had used to carve it.

  However, she had come to his cabin to spend time with him. For that gift, he would gladly sit in the middle of a circle of hot coals. Or sit through a game that would remind him of all the things that were wrong in his life.

  He took the box from her and set it on the low table at the center of his seating area. “A distraction is welcome.” And she certainly was a distraction. This was the first time she had been in his quarters since their visit to Drakar. Her nearness was having a predictable effect on his mental and emotional state. “May I offer you some tenrebac?”

  Normally he would have just served her a glass. She liked sipping tenrebac while they played. But he was still feeling his way following the shift in their relationship. He did not want to make any assumptions.

  She hesitated for a moment, most likely remembering what had happened after the last time he had given her that particular beverage. It was certainly front and center in his mind.

  She smiled, though it looked forced. “Sure.”

  Something was on her mind. He could see it in her eyes. But he knew better than to ask. She would tell him when she was ready.

  She began setting up the board while he poured them each a glass of the amber liquid. He placed the drinks on the table and sank down onto the cushion across from her.

  She glanced up, a flash of wariness in her eyes. “Thank you.” She took a token sip from the glass before returning her attention to the board. “I won the last time we played, so you have the opening move.”

  Tension showed in every line of her body, though she was doing her best to conceal it. This visit might have very little to do with playing chess, but if she wanted to wait to broach whatever was on her mind, he would give her all the time she needed.

  He made his first move, and she countered. Play continued for a few minutes in silence. He studiously avoided moving his queen, even when it would have put him at an advantage. He just could not bring himself to pick up that particular piece.

  Aurora had claimed three of his pawns and one bishop before she spoke. “I owe you an apology.”

  He glanced up and found her watching him. “Why do you owe me an apology?” Although he had a theory about what was motivating her statement.

  “I reacted terribly after the incident on Drakar.”

  Incident? That was hardly the way he would describe their passionate embrace.

  “And ever since then I’ve shown the maturity of a toddler. That hasn’t been fair to you.” She gave him a small smile. “I’m sorry. You deserve better than that.”

  He appreciated the sentiment,
but the confrontation was not her fault. “I forced that kiss on you. I am the one who should be apologizing.”

  She shook her head. “I asked you a direct question and you gave me a direct answer. It wasn’t your fault that it wasn’t the response I expected.”

  He should have been relieved. She was absolving him. But for some reason he felt worse, not better.

  “I also want to thank you for being honest with me,” she continued. “It helps, knowing where I stand. And I want to be honest with you, too.”

  He had a terrible premonition that he would hate where she was going with this.

  “Changes have been coming at me pretty fast these past few months.” She rested her elbows on her knees. “You’ve been wonderfully supportive, especially with the Suulh, and I appreciate that more than I can say.”

  Now he was positive he would hate where this was going. Her tone was wrong, like she wanted to soften the impact of the blow she was about to deliver. He tensed.

  “But one of those changes affects you, and we need to talk about it.”

  The sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach increased.

  “Cade and I spent the night together.”

  His heart stopped beating. That was the only logical explanation for the chill that swept through every cell in his body.

  He stared at her, refusing to believe he had heard correctly. Hoping that any moment he would wake from the nightmare she had just tossed him into. Say something!

  Worry lines formed at the edges of her eyes. He could count each one, see them with perfect clarity, along with the golden flecks sprinkled in the deep green of her irises. Cade Ellis had probably noticed those golden flecks, too. He growled.

  “Jonarel?” She leaned toward him. “Are you okay?”

  When she reached forward and clasped his hand in hers, he came apart. “No!” he roared, stumbling as he shoved his body backward, breaking the contact like she had touched him with a live wire. He was on his feet and across the room in a heartbeat. His hands clamped down on the edges of his drafting table, squeezing the protesting wood as he fought for control.

  “Jonarel, I’m sorry.”

  He forced air into his lungs, beating down the rage that was blacking out his vision. His mind tortured him with image after image of Aurora and Ellis together, the fury building with each new variation.

  “Jonarel?”

  Her voice scraped his senses. He slowly tilted his head so that he could see her out of the corner of his eye. But he kept his grip on the table. He feared what he might do if he let go.

  She looked horrified. And heartbreakingly sad. Her hand splayed across her throat like she wished she could take the words back.

  “I’m so, so sorry,” she whispered, her eyes beginning to glisten with unshed tears.

  His brain whirled with thoughts, questions, condemnations. But only one really mattered. He grated it out. “Why?”

  Her lips parted in surprise. She took a tentative step forward but halted immediately when he gave a sharp shake of his head. He was hanging on by a thread. If she came any closer, he would not be able to stop himself from doing something really, really stupid.

  She was trembling. He hated himself for causing that reaction, but he hated her, too. She had just driven a dagger into his heart, and it was killing him.

  “Why?” he growled again, proving he was a masochist of the worst kind. But he had to know.

  She swallowed. “After the battle…after realizing what we’re facing…I was overwhelmed. I needed some way to release the pressure.” The look in her eyes pleaded for understanding. “Cade helped me do that.”

  His teeth ground together, the sound louder than a rock tumbler. “I could have helped you.” In fact, he would have been thrilled to assist her with that particular problem. But she had not asked him. Instead, she had gone to Ellis. He wanted to rip the man’s throat out.

  Her look of helplessness only added fuel to the fire.

  Releasing the table edge, he stalked toward her. “Why him, Aurora?”

  Her eyes widened and she backed up.

  He kept coming. “Have you forgotten what he did to you? How he treated you? Because I remember it every day.”

  She ran out of room as her back met the bulkhead. She halted. He did not. Spreading his arms, he caged her in, his face so close to hers he could feel the warmth of her breath on his lips. “He rejected you. Tossed you aside like garbage because he thought you were unworthy of him.”

  Pain flashed in her eyes, but he pressed on.

  “He believes your mixed heritage makes you less than human. A freak. But I do not. I believe it makes you the most extraordinary being in the galaxy.” He needed her to understand. No, he was begging her to understand. “I would never hurt you like that.”

  She stared up at him—his brave, strong, amazing Aurora. “I know,” she whispered.

  He could not read the look in her eyes. Could not tell what she was thinking. Unable to resist the pull of her nearness, he brought his lips a hair’s breadth from hers and hovered there. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” And then she did the most amazing thing. She kissed him.

  His brain cells scattered as her hands cupped his face and her lips moved over his. He had thought he had kissed her before. But what he had experienced on Drakar was a pale imitation. This time Aurora had initiated the kiss, and she was showing him without words how much he meant to her.

  Unfortunately, even as her touch sent shivers of delight through his body, his mind registered that the kiss lacked one key ingredient.

  Passion.

  And it ended far too quickly.

  He would not let her go. As she pulled back, he stroked his fingers down the side of her face. “Let me love you, Aurora,” he murmured. He laced his fingers through hers. “I want to be with you. Always.”

  She stared at their joined hands, but remained silent.

  His heart pounded like a drum, counting the seconds. “Aurora?”

  When she looked up, something in her eyes set his senses on alert. “You’ve never told me why you disliked Cade. From the very beginning, you’ve hated him, even before he hurt me. Was it because you wanted me back then, too?”

  He had not anticipated the question, and he stumbled over his answer. “Yes. No.” He frowned. “Yes, I wanted you back then. But that is not why I hate him. At least, that is not the main reason.”

  “Then what is the reason?”

  “Because he is not worthy of you. He never has been. What can he possibly offer you? You have your own ship. You are the leader of an entire race. Who is he? No one.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “But I didn’t have a ship when we were at the Academy. And you didn’t know about my connection to the Suulh until recently.”

  He cursed himself for the slip. “I have always known you were special. And I also knew that one day I would build this ship for you.”

  She pulled her hands from his grip, moving to stand next to the abandoned chessboard. “So the ship was a ploy to draw me in. To bind me to you.”

  “No.” At least, not entirely. More like a tangible affirmation of what he wanted. “The ship has been, and always shall be, a gift. The Starhawke is yours, now and always. Whether we are together or not.”

  She did not believe him. He could see it in her eyes. And the more time she spent standing next to that cursed board, the more he heard his father’s words echoing in his head. She is the queen. The most powerful piece in the game.

  Had he built the Starhawke so that he could gain a measure of control over that power?

  “You always assumed we would be together.” She was not asking.

  He sighed. “Yes. I did.”

  She nodded, her lips forming a line that was a far cry from the tender sweetness he had experienced just minutes before.

  “Thank you for telling me the truth.” She stepped toward the doorway. “If you’ll excuse me, I have work to do.” And then she was gone.

&nbs
p; Jonarel’s gaze slowly returned to the chessboard she had left behind. And to the queen that stood proud and strong at the center, mocking him. He had failed completely. His clan. His father. Himself. And possibly driven her into Ellis’s arms in the process.

  He glared at the board. Maybe he would burn it after all.

  CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO

  WHEN THE SHIP came out of the interstellar jump, Justin was back in the observation lounge, as curious as the Suulh to see the new homeworld.

  To accommodate all the people who wanted a good view, the Starhawke had shown her versatility once again. The expanse of windows that normally looked out to the stern of the ship now projected the forward facing image that the bridge crew was seeing, enabling everyone to see the planet as they approached without cramming three hundred bodies onto the bridge.

  The tables had all disappeared into hidden compartments beneath the floor, and everyone was seated like picnickers gathered for a fireworks show. He’d wondered if the Suulh would be overwhelmed, but they all seemed to be doing fine, their fear replaced with eagerness.

  Captain Hawke’s voice came over the speakers, first in Galish, then in the Suulh language, thanks to the translation he’d loaded into the Starhawke’s database. “We’ll have visual on the planet in a few moments.”

  One of the children let out an excited squeal as the curving surface of the planet glided into view, growing rapidly even as the ship decelerated for the final approach. As one, the Suulh gave a collective sigh. The sound was filled with such longing and joy that tears burned behind Justin’s eyes. And that was before Raaveen met his gaze.

  He couldn’t even begin to explain the complex emotions that showed in her expression. But he didn’t have to. He was feeling a lot of the same things. She looked lit from within, her excitement palpable. But there was a little apprehension there, too. After all, her life was about to change. Forever.

  The blue and white of the planet filled the expanse as the ship descended. A subtle vibration through the floor was the only indication the ship gave that it had entered the atmosphere. Impressive. He didn’t know of a single Fleet vessel that could pull off such a smooth transition from the vacuum of space.