Mya studied her. “Would you be comfortable with that solution?”
That was a big question. Because if she wasn’t, she had no business leaving the planet. She couldn’t spend all her time away worrying about the Suulh’s safety. If she agreed, she’d need to trust Raaveen, Paaw and Zelle to take charge.
And she could do that. After all, they’d been taking care of each other long before she’d come on the scene. She needed to let go. “Yes. We’ll announce it to everyone tomorrow.”
CHAPTER SEVENTY
HOME.
It was the first word Ren had spoken. A word with tremendous power, one that had broken a curse of darkness and isolation.
But for Cade, the concept of home had no meaning. Home for him for the past ten years had been wherever the Admiral sent the Elite Unit. Before that, it had been the Academy. Before the Academy? Well, his parents weren’t exactly a cornerstone of warmth and kindness, especially after he’d made it clear he wasn’t going to follow in his father’s footsteps. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d visited them.
But here, standing in one of the archways of the main house, he was surrounded by an image of home that resonated deep in his soul. Aurora’s presence had a lot to do with it.
Following the Suulh tradition, Aurora and Mya had established living quarters on opposite sides of the main building. Raaveen and Ren had been assigned a chamber next to Aurora’s. Paaw, Maanee and Zelle were staying on Mya’s side, as were Sparw and his parents. Now that everyone had seen the transformation of Ren, Zelle was championing the cause to focus their collective energies on helping Sparw’s parents regain mental and emotional awareness.
The remaining chambers on either side were designated for those families with the greatest need for protection and healing, which included most of the remaining teens and their parents.
By Cade’s calculations, about sixty of the Suulh were currently housed in the main building. The rest were setting up collectives in the outbuildings. He’d seen a lot of teary faces as they’d moved about, deciding where they wanted to stay. But for once, the tears were all about joy, not sorrow.
Aurora had told Raaveen, Paaw, Sparw, and their families that the Starhawke would be leaving the next day, and that she’d designated Raaveen as the leader in absentia. Raaveen had looked poleaxed, but her father had glowed. Literally. His energy field had lit up, already looking more robustly red than it had the day before. It still startled Cade to see expressions on the man’s face.
Mya had likewise appointed an interim healer—Paaw. Her family wasn’t of Mya’s line, but their skill set tended that way. One reason Zelle had made the speediest recovery from her Necri existence was the healing Paaw and Maanee had been able to offer to assist their mother’s innate abilities.
At the moment, all the teens were helping Aurora and Mya orchestrate the preparations for a big communal meal and celebration that would be held in the main building’s central gathering space that evening. The area was large for a reason—in their cultural traditions, coming together as a group was a regular activity, so they needed a comfortable space to do so.
Cade had to give the Clarek clan credit. They’d done a wonderful job of creating an environment that suited the Suulh perfectly. And Aurora moved about the space with calm assurance, every bit the leader she was meant to be.
She glanced in his direction and caught him watching her. Her smile was a welcome sight as she crossed the room. “So, what do you think?” She gestured to the busy kitchen and the smiling and laughing teens.
He slipped his arms around her waist and drew her closer. “I think you’re amazing.”
“So you’ve said before.” Her green eyes sparkled. “But I’m not the one who built this place.”
He tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Her braid was coming undone, but she obviously hadn’t taken the time to redo it. She’d been completely focused on the Suulh.
“Sure you did. You may not have put the walls up, but this entire project has been yours and Mya’s from the beginning. The Suulh couldn’t ask for better leaders.”
“Thank you.” She nestled her head against his chest and sighed. “But without you, we may never have made it off Gaia.”
He stroked her back with his fingers. “And without you, we wouldn’t have made it off Burrow. Give yourself some credit.”
She tilted her head up. “Okay.” The look in her eyes warmed the longer he held her. Slipping her hand into his, she tugged him toward the doorway that led to her chamber.
He didn’t resist.
After closing the chamber door behind them, she moved back into his arms. “So, what happens now?”
That was a loaded question if he’d ever heard one. But he kept his tone light. “What do you want to happen?”
Her sexy smile spoke volumes. “I have a few ideas.”
And when a thin ribbon of energy caressed his body, he had a pretty good idea, too.
“Not that we can do anything about it right now,” she added. “But it will take us several days to reach Earth.” Her eyes gleamed with anticipation. “We’ll need to pass the time somehow.”
When she talked like that, his body redlined in a millisecond. “I suppose we will.” He bent his head to kiss her, but she stopped him, her smile fading.
“But then what?”
He frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Well, I’ll be staying on Earth while I talk to my mother. What about your team? Will you be leaving to find the Admiral?”
He hadn’t allowed himself to think that far ahead. One day at a time worked much better. But they didn’t have that luxury much longer. “I suppose so. We’ll need to secure transportation first. Reanne might be able to help with that.” Not that he relished that conversation. Talking to Reanne was like verbal fencing. You never knew when you’d get stabbed.
Aurora flinched at the mention of her former roommate. Apparently she felt the same way. “Makes sense.” Her expression closed down, shutting off the warmth like a cloud passing in front of the sun.
She started to pull away, but he locked his arms. “I can see the wheels turning. What’s on your mind?”
Her gaze searched his, like she was trying to read something written behind his eyes. “I guess I hadn’t really considered that reaching Earth would mean splitting up the crew.” She frowned. “Which logically means leaving you.”
His stomach pitched. He didn’t like where this was going. “You mean, for good?”
“No. Well…I don’t know.” She shook her head. “You have a job to do. So do I. And they’re not exactly compatible.” She lifted a hand to his face, tracing the line of his jaw. “The problem is, I’ve kind of gotten used to having you around.”
He cracked a joke so she wouldn’t notice the pain digging into his heart. “Like an old shirt?”
She pinched his arm and he yelped. “No. Not like an old shirt. Like a friend. A crewmember.” Her voice deepened. “A lover.”
His body really liked that last part. “I’ve enjoyed that, too.”
“Unrealistic as it is, I somehow convinced myself you would be staying on the Starhawke.”
“As what? Your sex slave?”
She pinched him again, harder. “No. Although the idea has a certain appeal.” She shook her head, a bemused smile on her lips. “What am I going to do with you?”
Love me. But he couldn’t say that. “I don’t know. I don’t have anything to offer you that you don’t already have.”
“Don’t you?” Her energy field enveloped him again, but this time the contact didn’t feel the least bit sexual. It felt like bonding. “Are you sure about that?”
Now his heart was doing a conga. The look in her eyes had his brain on tilt. Was Justin right? Was it possible that she wanted him to be with her…because she was still in love with him, too?
He suddenly had a sense that this was one of those pivotal moments that he’d look back on for the rest of his life. And if he made the wrong
move, he would regret it. Forever.
But a lot was on the line. His job. His team. And his heart. Which began thumping so hard he was certain she’d hear it. Taking a deep breath, he cupped her face in his hands. “I’ve made protecting people my life’s work. And I’m good at it. Very good. But you’re the one person in the entire universe who doesn’t need my protection.”
“That’s not true.”
Her breath caressed his face, scattering his thoughts like autumn leaves. He tried to remain focused, but he could barely hear over the rushing sound in his ears. “It’s not?”
She shook her head. “You’re the only one who can protect me from losing you.”
He closed his eyes as her words sunk in. “Oh, Rory.” He let his forehead rest against hers. What a gift she was. An incredible, precious gift. One he didn’t deserve.
He drew back. A frown line had appeared between her brows. He smoothed it out with his thumb as he gazed into her eyes. Those beautiful, amazing eyes. “You have no idea what you do to me.” Although given her empathic abilities, maybe she did. “And my previous behavior not withstanding, I’m not an idiot.”
He had, in fact, been an idiot ten years ago. He wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. “If you’re asking me to stay, the answer is yes.”
CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE
JUSTIN’S MUSCLES moved with the pleasant ache of a good day’s physical labor.
He’d spent the previous eight hours working alongside the rest of his team, helping the Clarek clan with the construction of the outbuildings. Four were already livable, though not completed. The remaining four still needed interior work before they were habitable. They’d called it quits at sundown, breaking for a quick cleanup and change of clothes. Now they were headed to the main building for the evening’s festivities.
He should have been excited. Instead, he was restless. This was his last night with Raaveen, Paaw and Sparw. And he didn’t have any idea how he was going to say goodbye.
But the sight that greeted him when he walked through the doorway to the main house brought his thoughts to a screeching halt. Apparently it surprised the rest of his team as well, because they all stood rooted to the floor like four life-size statues.
The Suulh were gathered into a semi-circle facing the door, with the children in front and the teens and adults standing behind them. The members of the Clarek clan stood to either side.
Cade, Captain Hawke and Dr. Forrest stood at the center, with Siginal and Jonarel Clarek just behind them and the rest of the Starhawke crew flanking them.
“Welcome.” Captain Hawke motioned his team forward. “Join us.”
He got his feet moving again, and the rest of the team fell in step with him. He stopped in front of her while the Suulh and the Clarek clan shifted positions to close the circle behind them. What was going on?
“Tonight, we come together to honor our family, our friends, and our new home.” Captain Hawke’s voice filling the large space with ease. “Your efforts, sacrifices, and dedication have made this moment possible.” Her gaze settled on each member of the team as she spoke, every syllable infused with appreciation for all they had been through together. “You have given of your time, resources and talents graciously. Now we would like to offer you a gift in return.”
Justin flicked a glance at Cade, but his friend just gave him an enigmatic smile.
“No words could possibly express the gratitude Mya and I feel for each of you. You have overcome great challenges with courage and selflessness in order to bring our people safely here. Thanks to you, we now have a new homeworld to call our own.” She motioned to Raaveen, who stepped into the center of the circle, followed by Ren, Paaw, Maanee, Zelle, and Sparw.
Raaveen spoke in the flowing Suulh language, but Captain Hawke’s comband translated her words. “You have been our teachers, our guardians, our friends.” Her gaze settled on Justin. “We come from different worlds, but in our hearts, you have become part of our family.”
Since he’d written the translation program, he knew better than anyone that the Suulh word that the comband translated as family went way beyond the Galish definition. Galish simply didn’t have a word that encompassed the unique connection that the Suulh experienced with each other, and of the deep emotions that bound them together.
He suddenly found it difficult to swallow.
“As a token of our gratitude and connection, we would like to share our gift with you.”
Raaveen extended one hand toward him and waited until he moved forward to grasp it. She held out her other hand to Cardiff. Paaw moved to Justin’s other side while Ren, Sparw, Maanee and Zelle joined hands with the other members of his team and the Starhawke crew to form a large circle.
Captain Hawke stood in between Cade and Clarek, and Dr. Forrest moved to the opposite side of the circle between Williams and Emoto. The Suulh and the members of the Clarek clan in the outer ring joined hands with each other.
Justin glanced at Raaveen, but her gaze was fixed on Captain Hawke. A moment later Justin felt two distinctly different sensations wash over him—a powerful warmth that flowed up from his left hand, focusing his thoughts and emotions, and a soothing coolness coming from his right that released the tension in his muscles. Both were familiar to him, as he’d experienced them on Burrow when Captain Hawke had protected him from the Meer and Dr. Forrest had healed his injuries.
The differentiation in the two energies lasted for only a millisecond, before they blended and intensified. New notes joined the symphony, including Paaw’s cooling touch, which was less refined than Dr. Forrest’s but had a similar feel, and Raaveen’s warm strength.
As the energy flowed through him like a river, tapping into emotions he usually kept buried deep, he trembled from the strain of resisting the siren call. He didn’t want to feel this. He didn’t want to feel anything. Ever. And he definitely didn’t want to say goodbye.
Raaveen’s dark-eyed gaze met his, her energy growing stronger, pulling at him, resonating with the sadness in his own heart. She knew what he was feeling. He could see it in her eyes. Because the same pain was tearing at her.
And that’s when he stopped fighting. The real tragedy wasn’t leaving them, never to return. That was a pain he could learn to live with, because it was the only way to keep the teens safe. But by avoiding the agony of impending loss, he’d been blocking out the joy of unconditional love. And that was something he would regret for the rest of his life.
Tomorrow he would leave forever. But tonight, he could allow the teens to know how much he cared.
He surrendered.
CHAPTER SEVENTY-TWO
AS AURORA GUIDED the energy around the circle, she tuned into the array of emotional responses it elicited.
Kire was having the most fun. The smile on his face gave visual proof of that. Drew and Gonzo were openly curious, glancing at each other like they were trying to analyze what exactly they were experiencing. Dr. Williams and Celia had their eyes closed in a near Zen state, while Reynolds and Kelly were neither accepting nor rejecting, but simply observing, acting more like spectators than active participants.
Cade and Jonarel were an interesting dichotomy. Cade’s emotions were wide open in a way she had never expected to feel again. She was still adjusting to the revelation that he wanted a future with her. She had no idea what it would look like, but her heart wanted to believe they’d figure it out.
Jonarel, on the other hand, had locked down his emotions so completely it was like he wasn’t even there. She knew it was an act of self-preservation, and she hated being the cause. She’d never imagined that following her own heart would mean pummeling his.
But it was the notes of intense sadness coming from Byrnes, Raaveen, Paaw, and Sparw that really surprised her. Byrnes’s emotional reaction was the most startling. She’d always sensed a subtle emotional wall from him, indicative of someone who didn’t make strong attachments. But that barrier had collapsed, allowing an intense combination of pain and
love to flow in its place. The teens’ feelings echoed his.
The emotions spoke of deep bonding, particularly between Justin and Raaveen. That wasn’t surprising, actually. She’d recently lost her mother, and her father had been little more than an automaton until yesterday. Making a connection with Byrnes, who she clearly liked and admired, made sense.
But it also presented a problem. Cade had mentioned that his team wanted to see the Suulh safely delivered to their new home, and Aurora had been happy to comply. However, it hadn’t occurred to her that some of them might have formed strong emotional bonds with each other. That placed her in the uncomfortable position of gatekeeper between her people, who couldn’t leave, and Cade’s team, who couldn’t return. She’d have to give the matter some serious thought before the morning.
Returning her attention to the circle, she allowed the energy current to slowly fade. Mya followed suit, the swirling prism of color dissipating like smoke. Releasing Cade and Jonarel’s hands, Aurora stepped into the center of the circle, and Mya joined her.
“Tomorrow, Mya and I will be leaving.” A murmur started up but she lifted her hand for silence. “We will return, but we don’t know how soon. In the meantime, we have selected a guardian and healer to stand in our stead.” Aurora motioned to Raaveen and Paaw, who stepped forward.
Aurora clasped their hands, as did Mya, forming a small circle. “We place the protection and well being of our people with you,” she and Mya said together in Galish. “May the love and support of family be a source of courage and strength.”
“We accept this honor with gratitude and joy,” Raaveen and Paaw replied in the Suulh language.
Aurora glanced at Ren and Zelle as the teens returned to them. Their faces were streaked with happy tears. The sight tugged at her heart, but in a good way.
“The Clarek clan will remain to finish work on the settlement, and to assist you with any other needs that may arise. But this planet is yours now.” She drew in a slow breath, struggling to keep her composure as the Suulh reacted to her words. “Nourish it. Explore it. Make it your home.”
The Chains of Freedom (Starhawke Rising Book 2) Page 25