True Desires (New Dawn Book 1)

by Rhea Wilde

  “Yeah,” he said with a laugh. “They are.”

  “Noah—”

  “Come on.”

  He grabbed my hand and gently escorted me into the building.

  I didn’t ever remember being inside a gun store. The number of weapons on the walls and in the cases on display was overwhelming. Handguns, pistols, rifles, shotguns. I wondered why there was any need for this amount of weapons. Every inch of the store was covered in them, without a single space spared.

  In the distance, I could hear the sound of gunshots through the walls. I tightened my grip on Noah’s hand with every shot. I’d heard gunshots before but something about them feeling so close was something I didn’t think I’d ever get used to.

  We walked up to the counter together and a man with a scruffy white beard and thin-rimmed glasses greeted us. He was an old man with a smile on his face that told me he was completely comfortable being surrounded by all of these killing tools.

  “This is Wally,” Noah introduced me. “Wally knows everything there is to know about guns. Wally, this is Sheila.”

  “Hello, Sheila,” the old man said as he shook my hand, his enthusiasm greater than I’d expected. “What brings you here today?”

  “Practice. Sheila needs practice.”

  “Sure thing,” Wally replied. “I’ll get your things out of the storage locker.”

  Wally disappeared from behind the counter and through a hallway that led to the back. I turned and looked up at Noah, my eyebrows raised at him.

  “Your things?”

  “Yeah, my guns,” he said.

  “How many guns do you own exactly?”

  “Only three of them.”

  “Three? Why do you need so many?”

  “I don’t carry all of them on me at the same time. I know how to use them. When I was in the army, every man in my squad carried live rounds. It’s not a big deal.”

  “And why exactly did you bring me here?”

  Noah put his hands on my shoulders. I exhaled through my nostrils and my body shook. Only when he touched me did I realize how visibly shaken I was.

  “I know you’re uncomfortable—”

  “You’re damn right I’m uncomfortable!” I interrupted him. “Why am I at a gun shop?”

  “Because you’re dealing with dangerous people, Sheila. These guys aren’t some muggers on the streets. Victor Castle is a real criminal. He’s dangerous.”

  “That still doesn’t answer my question.”

  “The night I met you… I saved you. I can’t always be there to save you. You’re putting yourself in a dangerous spot. There are some things even I can’t do.”

  “So you want me to use a gun?”

  “Only if you have to.”

  I sighed a deep breath of frustration. Looking down at the ground and shaking my head, I thought about how absurd everything had gotten.

  “Listen, these are registered weapons,” he explained. “It’s perfectly legal. These weapons are for defense. They’re for protecting yourself. I’m not telling you to go to Victor Castle and put a bullet in his head. I… I just want you to be safe, okay?”

  I turned my head up and stared at Noah. The concern in his deep blue eyes was real. It almost looked like he was on the verge of tears. Or maybe he was just trying to get through to me.

  It does make sense…

  I tried to reason with myself. I didn’t want any part of this. But he was right. Castle was dangerous and I needed to protect myself. It was an extreme measure I never wanted but suddenly found myself taking.

  “When I came back to this city, I knew things were going to be different,” I sighed. “I never thought I’d need a gun just go about my life.”

  “You don’t need it. I just want you to have it. In case worse comes to worse. Just hope it never gets to that point.”

  Wally came from the back of the shop and Noah took his hands off of my shoulders. He pulled the small pistol out of a basket and placed it down on the counter. I looked down at it. It seemed strange something so small could be so deadly.

  “This here is a .22,” Wally explained. “Lightweight, easy to hold, easy to hide, light recoil. Fifteen bullets in every clip, one in the chamber. And that’s probably the only thing you’ll need. Don’t let it fool you. It packs a hell of a punch.”

  “Thanks, Wally. I’ll take it from here.”

  Noah took the small gun and magazine and placed it in the basket. In his other hand, he took mine and escorted me through the other side of the building. We walked down a long hallway and I could hear the sound of gunfire through the walls getting louder. Noah turned to me and handed me a pair of ear muffs hanging from the wall.

  “It gets loud in there,” he said.

  “It’s already loud,” I replied.

  Noah looked at me and smiled.

  “I know,” he sighed. “I know you’re uncomfortable. This gun is registered to me. You won’t get in any trouble for having this. It’s just—”

  “Just in case. I know.”

  I was already resigned to the fact this was happening. There was nothing I could do.

  I put on the ear muffs and Noah did the same. When he opened the door, I saw a couple of men at their stations on the shooting range. Their attention was locked on the targets in front of them in the distance. I followed Noah to a spot on the range and stood close to him. I watched him load the magazine into the gun then place it down on the counter in front of me. About twenty yards away, there was a paper target with the life-sized outline of a person on it.

  “Never put your finger on the trigger unless you plan on having it go off,” Noah explained. “Never point this thing at something unless you plan on killing it.”

  “Okay,” I said with a nod.

  “All right. Pick it up. Just the handle. Remember the trigger. Use two hands.”

  I picked the pistol up. It was light but for some reason, felt heavier than it actually was.

  “Turn and face the target. Grip it firmly.”

  I pointed the gun forward at the target in the distance. Noah stood behind me.

  “Extend your arms. Both hands. Remember to keep your hands up and the gun pointed forward.”

  Noah ran his hands along my bare arms, squeezing me softly. I could feel his breath on me as he whispered into my ear.

  “Narrow your eyes a little bit if you have to. Your target is right over the sights. That little thing sticking up over the barrel. That’s where your bullet will land.”

  He slowly moved his hands away from me. He wasn’t touching me but I could feel his presence right behind me.

  “Just relax.”

  I aimed the sights down the line and pointed it at the target.

  “Put your finger on the trigger.”

  I slowly slipped my finger on the trigger, doing my best not to apply any pressure. My eyes locked on the target. My grip on the handle was firm with both hands.

  Noah’s breath warmed my neck as he whispered into my ear again.

  “Now all you have to do… is squeeze.”

  Chapter 12

  My focus was steady and calm. Any nervousness wouldn’t have helped the situation. I had to come to terms with what I held in my hand. It meant more than life and death. It was a representation of my situation.

  I lost count of how many rounds I fired. Every bullet was a blur, appearing as a small rip on the paper target in front of me. The recoil numbed my hands. Noah was there with me for every shot. Keeping me calm and relaxed. It was strange to think I had a weapon, but Noah was the reason I felt safe. Even when I had all of that power in my hands, he was the one who would keep me from danger.

  It didn’t take long for me to get used to the weapon. Even though it wasn’t a horrible experience, I wasn’t sure it was something I could get used to.

  Sitting on the couch in Noah’s apartment, I stared at the gun resting on the coffee table in front of me. A loaded magazine rested right next to it.

  “Keep the magazine sepa
rate if you still feel uncomfortable,” he said. “You can load it if you ever feel you need to. Remember you got 16 bullets in that magazine. If there’s one missing, that means there’s one in the chamber. Always assume it’s loaded.”

  “Trust me. You don’t have to tell me twice… Thanks.”

  Noah returned from his kitchen and placed a bottle of beer in front of me then took a seat on a chair near the coffee table.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea to be drinking,” I said.

  “What?” Noah said as he laughed. “You think you’re gonna get drunk and shoot someone?”

  “You never know.”

  “I doubt it. Drinking makes people irresponsible. You don’t seem like the type though.”

  “You just said I got drunk and did something stupid the night you met me. You know… When you had to save me from those guys? Ring a bell?”

  “That’s different. That was a bad decision. You weren’t aware of the danger. You weren’t looking for trouble.”

  “Oh?” I said, an eyebrow raised at him. “What makes you say that I’m not?”

  “Because… you’re not like that,” he said as he laughed again, his smile becoming more infectious. “Here. Let me show you what to do.”

  He leaned forward and grabbed the small harness resting on the table. Then he grabbed the gun and displayed it to me.

  “Make sure the safety is on,” he explained. “You can switch it off when you need to.”

  He put the gun in the holster and motioned at me.

  “Come here,” he said. “Put your leg up.”

  I raised my leg up sheepishly and watched as he pulled one leg of my jeans up to expose my shin. He wrapped the holster around my shin.

  “Make sure the gun is on the side of your leg, so it’s easier to grab. Keep the magazine separate. Maybe in your pocket. I’ve never seen you carry a purse but that works, too. You can put it in your shoe or in your sock if you’ve got nowhere else to put it.”

  “That doesn’t sound very comfortable.”

  “Yeah. Sometimes you just have to do what it takes to get by.”

  He unwrapped the holster from my leg and rested it down on the coffee table with the gun. I lowered my leg down and grabbed the beer, taking a sip and finally joining him. The tiniest little bit of alcohol going down my throat was a relief. I sighed deeply and sank into the couch, my body finally responding to a long and eventful day.

  “You seem to know a lot about guns,” I said. “Is that something you messed around with?”

  “Guns?” he asked, shaking his head with a chuckle. “Computers. Electronics. Cars. I never messed around with guns. Not until I joined the service. That’s when I learned everything. I learned more than I needed to.”

  He looked away from me. I looked into his eyes. He stared into the distance like a lost memory was coming back to him. The kindness on his face was still there but the smile was gone.

  “What was that like?” I asked. “Serving…”

  “It was… It was something,” he said with a nod.

  He took another swig of his beer and leaned back in his chair.

  “I only did one tour in Afghanistan.”

  “You were out there? In the field?”

  “Yeah,” he nodded. “It lasted a few months. To be honest with you, I don’t remember how long. Out there, you start to lose track of time. All of the days start to blend together.”

  I looked into his eyes and watched as he continued to stare into space.

  “We were out on a routine patrol,” he said. “A few guys in my squad. Jackson. Ramirez. Smith. We were just talking. Jackson and Smith were arguing about something… Sports… Something about how bad the Sailors were going to be that year. Something about how New Gardens would never be a sports city that anybody cared about.”

  Noah chuckled to himself, his eyes still lost in the memory. I swallowed anxiously as I looked back at him.

  “Then it just happened,” he said as he shook his head. “Faster than… Faster than anything. You couldn’t snap your fingers that fast. You couldn’t blink. It was just an explosion.

  “Ramirez must have triggered something. Sweeping patrols missed a defense mine and we found it.

  “I… I remember the ringing in my ears. I remember all of the dust and smoke. The smell… It burned my lungs. Lots of shouting…

  “I don’t know what happened. I was scrambling. It was like swimming and getting hit by a wave. You don’t know what direction you’re going. My ears were ringing. My body was hurting in parts I didn’t know I had. I crawled out. I crawled away…

  “Jackson fell down next to me. And then I heard screaming… shouting… I turned over and I saw Smith dragging Ramirez toward us. His uniform was covered in dust and dirt. And it was red. There was so much blood… I couldn’t even recognize him. It wasn’t him anymore. It wasn’t Ramirez…”

  Noah’s face was expressionless. He looked like he was gone, his thoughts trapped in a memory from a long time ago.

  “Doctors examined me. Said the blast messed up my eardrum and it affected my hearing. It wasn’t a big deal. I’d say I got the best of it, all things considered. But that didn’t matter to them. I got discharged and they said my service was over.”

  Noah’s face suddenly broke. He took another gulp of his beer and his eyes shifted to me. A slight smile on his face to mask whatever he was thinking.

  “How about you?” he asked. “Have you ever lost someone?”

  “…Sure,” I said with a nod. “We’ve all lost someone we care about.”

  “Yeah. People make a big deal about me serving in the field. About everything I probably went through and the sacrifices I’ve made. We all make sacrifices. We all go through something. We just gotta keep going. Having someone there with you helps.”

  “Is there anybody there with you? Do you have any family?”

  “No,” Noah said, shaking his head and taking another big gulp. “No family. Only child.”

  “What about your parents?”

  “No. They’re not in my life right now. To be honest with you, I never really knew them. I bounced around when I was younger. I moved from foster home to foster home.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

  “It’s all right. There’s no reason you would know… How about you? How’s your family?”

  “It’s just me,” I sighed. “My parents are doing fine. Retired back home. Not much else.”

  “I guess we have that in common then. I mean, you know your parents better than I know mine but it’s just us here.”

  “Yeah… Just us…”

  He finished the rest of the beer then stood up and took a seat on the couch next to me.

  Calm down, Sheila.

  Noah moved closer to me and raised his arm up to put it around me. I sank down into my seat and moved closer to him, resting my head against his chest. I stared forward at the gun resting on the table. The immediate concern of Victor Castle returned to my thoughts.

  “What am I going to do?” I sighed. “How am I going to get out of this? How am I going to help Kimmy?”

  “Let’s not think about that right now.”

  His fingers touched my chin. I turned my head up and instinctively closed my eyes as he kissed me. I could taste the beer on his tongue but I didn’t care. His lips were soft. His tongue was wet. Our spit smacked loudly as our kiss became deeper. I groaned softly into his mouth as my arousal began to build up inside of me.

  A hand on one of my breasts made me squirm in his arms. He massaged me through my shirt. Just one touch wasn’t enough. I wanted more.

  I parted my lips from him just enough to sit up and lift my shirt off completely. While I took my bra off, he took his shirt off. Our lips returned to one another and we resumed. The skin on the firm muscles of his chest felt like heaven against me. As he massaged my breast in his hand, I reached forward for one of his pectorals. It was like trying to grip a brick wall. There was nothing to grab or hold o
nto. All I could do was touch and admire how muscled he was.

  Our lips still locked together, I moved closer to him. I inhaled through my nose, unable to breathe through my mouth. Our kisses continued to echo against the walls in his small apartment.

  My hand trailed down his chest and felt the ridges of his abdomen. Each square of muscle was just as hard as the last. He was a perfect specimen. And underneath one of my hands, I got to examine him up close and personal.

  Oh, God…

  I could have done this forever. I could have sat on that couch with him for the rest of my life and be satisfied. There was nothing more in my life than this moment with him.

  While I touched and teased his stomach, he mimicked me with his own hand. A hand trailed down from my breast and found its way to my stomach. I gasped softly when his hand caressed the soft skin near my navel. I felt a bit of embarrassment that I wasn’t as firm as him.

  He didn’t care though. He trailed his hand on me. His delicate touch was enough to let me know he enjoyed it.

  He continued moving his hand down. I instinctively bucked my hips and gave him better access. His strong hand dug into my jeans then into my panties. There was a wetness already waiting to greet him. I squeezed my legs around his hand as he fingered me softly. His digits pushed into my folds with ease. My entrance was wet and inside, he found it more inviting.

  “You’re amazing…”

  He whispered into my ear and brought me closer. Digging his hand deeper into my panties, Noah wiggled his thumb to my clit. Firm but gentle circles made my nub begin to swell underneath his touch. Two fingers pumping in and out of me made my body begin to vibrate.

  “Noah, I…”

  Oh, fuck…

  I could barely speak. More words stuck inside of my throat. While he continued to finger me, Noah trailed his face down and kissed my neck. Gentle bites and subtle licks sent shivers through me. I writhed against the couch as Noah had his way with me. I hadn’t even taken my pants off and I was already so close. Everything about the way he touched me made me more sensitive.

  Nothing made sense. It felt like I wasn’t a person any longer. I was just a spiritual being, consumed by my senses.

  His masculine scent filled my nostrils. He breathed heavily as he worked harder. His hand pumped in and out of me. His mouth did wonders on my neck.