by Starr, Bria
The following evening, around midnight, my phone vibrates. I look up from my book to see a text from Logan.
Logan: What are you doing?
Me: Reading. What are YOU doing?
Logan: Thinking about you. Want to come over?
My thoughts go to the evening we had yesterday. I can’t help but get a little excited that he’s texting me. But why so late? He must have recently come home from the bar. It makes me feel good inside that he’s thinking about me, no matter what his intentions are.
Me: It’s almost midnight. Is this some sort of booty call?
Logan: No! I want to cuddle.
Me: Are you drunk?
Logan: I’m a little buzzed.
Me: Well, thanks for the offer, but I’m already in bed.
Logan: I was hanging out with Jack and he just left. Come over. Please?
There is something so alluring about him that pulls me to him. I can’t get him out of my head, and I want to take any opportunity I have to spend time with him while I still can, but is that smart to do? Am I setting myself up for more heartbreak, or does he truly miss me?
Me: Fine. But if you’re passed out when I get there, I’m leaving.
Logan: I’ll be up, I promise.
I pout as I put my bra back on that I had so happily tossed aside a few hours ago. I leave my t-shirt on but trade my cotton shorts for my cute Victoria’s Secret pajama bottoms. I throw on a sweater and grab my purse and keys before heading out the door.
Logan has the door open by the time I put my car in park. As I approach him, I can see his eyelids have drooped a little, and I can smell alcohol on his breath. He doesn’t appear to be drunk, but he is definitely intoxicated to some degree.
“Hey you. I was hoping you wouldn’t stand me up.” He leans in for a hug.
“I should have, so you’d know what it feels like,” I quip.
“Oh, you have jokes!” he says, laughing. “That was a good one. I deserved that.”
“Yeah, you did.”
He puts his arm around me and ushers me upstairs towards his room. I look around at the room I haven’t seen since the night we broke up. He hops up onto his bed and bounces over to the furthest side and sits there with his arm held out, waiting for me to come and nestle in it. I take my sweater off and drop it on the floor next to my purse before shutting off the light. With the dim glow from the TV, I find my way to his bed and crawl up next to him. I slide under the covers and sink into his nook as he ropes his arm around me.
I lay there, thinking about this very moment, the one I’ve been dreaming about for months. A tear slowly falls from the corner of my eye as I think about how happy I am right now. I suddenly hear him snoring lightly and look up to see him out cold. I look at him for a minute before reaching up and running my fingers along his jaw and then through his hair. How I have missed his hair...his scruffy jaw...his full lips and how his breath smells like oranges after he’s been drinking…
I wipe my stray tears away and snuggle back into his warm body. I fall asleep feeling at peace.
I wake up to the sunlight shining through Logan’s blinds. We are still in the same position we were in when we fell asleep. We both must have slept pretty hard. My left knee has a severe cramp as I attempt to untangle my legs from his. Logan stirs before opening his eyes. Shit, I hope he remembers I’m still here.
“Good morning,” he says as he rolls over and lays his head on my chest.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d remember inviting me here.” I suddenly feel dumb for even having come over.
“Of course I remember. I told you, I wasn’t that drunk.”
I look down at his thick hair and decidedly run my fingers through it as I try to control my breathing. I’m here with him, so I’m going to use this opportunity to touch him for what may be the last time.
“What are you doing today?” he asks.
“Well, for one, laundry since I didn’t get any done yesterday. How about you?”
“Nothing today. Just hanging out around the house. You should stay. Spend the day with me.”
“I really have to get going.”
He groans. “I’d really prefer if you hung out with me.”
“Not today. I think I’ve been here long enough.”
“No, you haven’t, but thanks for cuddling with me last night.”
I smile. “Not a problem.”
After we reluctantly get out of bed, Logan walks me out to my car, giving me another long hug. Only this time, he kisses my forehead, just like he used to.
I feel elated as I drive home and enter my room. I didn’t see Cassidy’s car, so she must not have come home last night, which is good because she won’t know I snuck out. I fall on my bed and let my smile spread. I cuddled with Logan, all night. I brush off the fact that he was a little drunk. No need to burst my own bubble.
Chapter 13
Logan has invited me over nearly every night. I usually turn him down, trying to prove a point to myself that I don’t need him, but I’ve been turning the volume on my phone up at night so I won’t miss his call. I know I’m playing with fire, but I just can’t help myself. I’m attracted to that fire, and I’m begging to get burned.
I’m at my desk reading when Cassidy pops her head in my door. “Jack’s here. Come with us to Kally’s Place. It’ll just be us three, I swear.”
“All right, give me a few minutes, and I’ll be ready.”
“Yay! I’m so excited. Both my bitches will be at my side today!”
I love it at Kally’s. It’s expensive, so I rarely get to eat here, but there’s something about being outside by the lake with the breeze that’s incredibly peaceful. I keep to myself while Cassidy and Jack talk. I am drowned in my own thoughts and I don’t have much to add to their conversation.
After our meal, I excuse myself and walk outside. I spot the vacant bench towards the water and head towards it. There’s a little dirt path that leads down to where I sit and watch the waves, embracing the calm I feel. I burrow myself a little deeper into my sweater as I’m surrounded by fresh, clean air. The wind blows through the colorful leaves, moving the trees in all the same direction like a ripple effect, as small waves of foamy water rush towards my feet. I sit there for several minutes, letting my mind think of nothing as I take in what warmth I can from the November sun that’s much too far away to give a whole lot of heat.
Cassidy starts yelling my name from behind me, breaking my peace and quiet. I hope to come back out here again soon. Sadness washes over me as I stand and trudge back towards the parking lot.
“Do you wanna come out with me tonight?” Cassidy slyly asks.
“To the bar? No. No way.”
“Why not? You said you were making more of an effort to go out and do things.”
“I know I did, but I didn’t mean the bar. I’m sorry, it’s just that…well, haven’t you noticed that every time shit hits the fan, it’s at a bar?”
“But Draven is playing tonight. Zach will be there. You’ll be fine. And no matter what you think, those people are your people. Jen, Connor, me...we’re all there, every night. And deep down, a part of you still loves it there. I know it.”
“Sometimes I miss it, until I think about all the drama that goes on there.”
“Please? For me?”
“Maybe for a little bit, but not all night. Okay?”
“I’ll take what I can get.”
“Besides, Draven plays there at least once a month, if not more. You know that I know this.”
“Yeah,” she says slyly. “I know.”
*****
I pull into my old place of work. I’ve been avoiding this place, amongst others. I don’t mind seeing Logan from time to time, but I fear the day I see him and Holly together again. Though, Cassidy says she hasn’t seen her with him lately, and hasn’t heard they were dating or anything. Plus, he’s been texting me a lot for the last two weeks, so whatever they may or may not have had going on, seems to be over.
I walk up
to the bar to see Jen; a big grin breaks out across her face. “Hey, hon. I haven’t seen you around for a while. How have you been?”
“I’m good. Came to see Draven for a bit, but I’m not staying long.”
“Well, make sure you say hi to your brother before you go. He hasn’t seen you in a while either.”
“Will do.”
I walk straight back into the kitchen to see Connor mixing his infamous XXXrench fry seasoning. “Hey, brother! I heard you missed me.”
“I have. You just up and quit and then never come back?”
“Sorry. I’ve had some shit going on.”
“Yeah, I heard,” he says quietly.
My eyes narrow. “From who?” I demand.
He says nothing.
“Cassidy? She told you?”
“No, it wasn’t Cassidy. Just forget it.”
“Connor, I will kick your ass. Who’s telling you my business?”
“I’d like to see you try. It was Jen. She had heard from someone that some shit went down between you and Logan. I saw her talking with Holly. Maybe she told her.”
“Jen doesn’t know what she’s talking about, and Holly’s just plain stupid. Not a whole lot of shit even went down. Not that Holly didn’t try. I’m so sick of all this. Fuck!” I yell, lacing my fingers around the back of my head in frustration.
I turn to leave when I stop.
Is that…?
No, it can’t be.
It is.
It’s Alec. I’d know that football build with light blond hair combed to the left side anywhere.
I run back into the kitchen. “I need to get out of here.”
Sensing my anguish, Connor asks, “Why, what’s wrong?”
“Alec’s here. I’m going out the back.”
I hear his voice. “Wren?”
I stop. Motherfucker.
“I thought I saw you back here.” Alec’s deep voice penetrates my body.
I slowly turn. “Alec. What are you doing here?”
He looks insulted. “Looking for you. I’ve been trying to find you for months. I figured I’d run into you here eventually since Jen and Connor work here. I’ve called you. Left you messages.”
We hadn’t lived very far away from my hometown when we decided to live together, and he knew I had moved back with my parents, so it’s no shock that he’s finally bumped into me. I’m surprised it took him this long.
“I don’t listen to them. I don’t know what you could possibly have to say to me that I care to hear.”
“How about I’m sorry? And I love you.” He takes a step towards me. “I miss you, and want you to come home.”
“That’s not my home.” I look to Connor, who hasn’t moved from his spot between us, cautiously watching Alec.
“Just talk to me. You know I can’t live without you.”
“You had me, and you made the choice to have others. Like Amy. I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this!”’ I turn towards the back door.
“Wait! Five minutes. Give me five minutes and I won’t cause a scene.”
“Make it quick,” I say angrily. He gestures me towards one of the back tables. I notice Cassidy looking at us with her mouth dropped open in shock. Yeah, you and me both.
“Where have you been?” he asks with concern in his voice.
“Away from you.”
“You know I regret what I did. I want you to come home. We can start over.”
“We can never start over. You cheated on me with my friend for six months. I can’t get past that. I’m over you. So no, I want you to leave me alone.”
His eyes darken. “I will never leave you alone. Not until you take me back and let me prove to you how sorry I am.”
“Alec, it’s done. It’s over. It’s not going to happen with us.”
His voice suddenly gets louder as he starts to get angry. “I’ve fucking looked for you every day for six fucking months. Everywhere I go I think I see you. You don’t return my texts or phone calls. What the fuck else do you want me to do?”
“I want you to leave me alone,” I whisper sharply, aware we have now caught the attention of a few bar patrons.
I feel someone standing behind me. “Is there a problem here?” Zach’s voice echoes through the hushed bar. He puts his hand on my shoulder as relief passes through me.
Alec glares at him. “You,” he sneers at Zach. Recognition sets in. “You’re with him now?” he asks, pointing at him. I look away and up at Zach, grateful he came over at just the right time.
“Come on, babe,” Zach says as he gently takes my arm, leading me away from the table. Alec is a big guy, but not as big or as scary looking as Zach. Nobody wants to mess with Zach. Nobody.
I quietly follow Zach over to the stage where he sits me next to his music equipment. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I’m shaking, but it is from pure adrenaline. I’ve dealt with Alec’s mood swings before. In public and in private.
“If he comes near you again, I’m knocking his ass out.”
I nod in understanding. Cassidy comes running over as Zach goes to start setting up his stuff for the night.
“What the hell just happened?”
“I don’t even know.”
Zach constantly looks over at me to make sure I’m still sitting there. I also see him looking out into the bar from time to time to keep tabs on where Alec is.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I say towards Zach.
“Take Cassidy with you, and come right back, okay?”
“Got it.”
*****
When Draven starts their set, I try to get lost in the music I’ve heard them play so many times. I keep looking over my shoulder, and Cassidy never leaves my side. Jack appears and stands behind her as the night goes on. All of a sudden, I feel my arm being tugged on. I look up to see Alec, with fire in his eyes, dragging me across the dance floor. I pull back and try to dig my heels into the floor to keep him from bringing me anywhere. Shouting is pointless because of how loud the music is, but I continue to plead with him to let me go. He gets me halfway through the bar before I’m knocked over and fall to the floor. I look up to see Zach punch Alec in the face. The music is still going in Zach’s absence as I watch Alec swing back. Zach gets him square in the nose again and again until Alec is on the ground, bleeding. Zach bends down and picks me up like I weigh nothing, carrying me through the front doors.
“Are you okay?” he asks me as he sits me in the passenger side of his truck.
“I’m fine. I’m so sorry, Zach!”
“Sorry? What on Earth do you have to be sorry for?”
“For everything that just happened. I thought he was gone!”
“I saw him from on stage looming in the background. I didn’t expect him to start dragging you off though.”
“Or to get into a fight tonight?” I attempt to joke.
“I’m not going to lie, I enjoyed it. Punching him, I mean.” I see a glimmer of elation in his eyes before his expression turns serious. “I won’t let him hurt you. Not ever again.”
“You’re so good to me. Thank you for rescuing me.”
“It was my pleasure,” he says, still breathing heavily. “Hey, did you just call me Zach?”
“Did I? I don’t remember.” I try to think back.
“You did. Don’t do it again, okay babe?” he says with a smirk.
“Okay, Zachary.”
“Wren?” I hear Cassidy yelling from somewhere in the parking lot.
I break our gaze and look out towards where she is.
“Over here!” Zach calls to her.
“What happened this time? I was dancing, and then everyone started running over to watch something, then I saw Zach hit Alec! Why am I always missing out on everything?”
“Alec was trying to pull me somewhere, but Zachary stopped him.” I look to Zach. “Don’t you have to get back in there?”
“Not until I drive you home and know you’re
safe.”
“You don’t have to drive me home. You need to get back in there. If you walk me to my car, I’ll make sure I’m not being followed, and I’ll text you as soon as I walk in the door.”
He looks skeptical.
“I promise.”
Cassidy chimes in, “I’ll go with her. Will you tell Jack I left?”
“I’m still not comfortable with this.”
“It’ll be fine. Please walk me to my car?”
He helps me down and walks Cassidy and me to my vehicle. Thank goodness I hadn’t lost my purse in all that. The last thing I want to do is go back inside to look for it. Zach spins me around and throws his arms around me. I return his hug. “Thanks again, Zachary. You’re my hero.”
“Any time, babe. You call me when you get home, or I’m coming over.”
“I said I would.” We get into my car and lock the doors before driving away. Zach watches us until we’re gone.
I text Zach as soon as we’re inside and the door is locked. I’m calmer than I was before, being in the comfort of my own home. It’s like it was all just a bad dream.
Cassidy throws her purse on the counter. “I need some ice.”
“What for?” I ask.
“That was the hottest thing I have ever seen! Zach throwing down his guitar and jumping off the stage, breaking through the crowd to come to your defense, punching that piece of shit in the face over and over before picking you up like a sack of potatoes and carrying you out the door. Holy hell!” she says, fanning herself.
“It was kind of sexy, wasn’t it? I was so scared and shaking so badly that I didn’t even know what was happening.” I shudder as I think back. “Hey, I thought you didn’t see anything.”
“Oh honey, I saw everything! I wish someone would attack me so Zach can save my life,” she says dreamily. “It’s official. I’m in love.”
“Cassidy, I think you’re confusing love with lust.”
She shrugs. “Same thing.”
Chapter 14
I wake up to my phone flashing. I’m so glad I decided to put it on silent before I went to sleep because it has blown up with missed calls and messages. Eight missed calls from Alec with multiple voicemails and text messages. One of the texts starts with an apology, but I don’t want an apology from him. I think the only thing I need right now is a restraining order. I make a mental note to look up that process.