by Starr, Bria
Looking through my closet and settling on faded jeans and my favorite white sweater, I shower and spend the time straightening my hair. It’s so much easier to brush it out when it’s messy as opposed to basically starting all over with curly hair that’s never nice for more than a few hours. I grab my purse, gun included, and my keys before heading out to my car and making the drive to my new favorite spot. Inside, I see Kally behind the counter, taking orders. When it’s my turn, I order a chocolate chip muffin and a large hot chocolate before walking back outside into the cold and towards my bench. I sit down and take a deep breath, the cold, fresh air filling my lungs despite the sun shining down. I sip on my hot chocolate, welcoming the warmth on this brisk day.
The beautiful colors of the changing trees surround me and the lake. This spot is perfect. It’s not very windy, but just enough to make some waves with white caps on the lake. All I seem to be doing these past few months is thinking. I swear it’s more thinking than I’ve ever done in all my life.
I really need to figure out what I want to do. If I want to spend the rest of my life hung up on Logan and being strung along. If that is, in fact, what he is doing. I think about how amazing Zach is and how important he has been in my life. Aaron is cute, but I know nothing will ever come out of that. He’ll soon be off traveling the world. Even though I haven’t seen much of my family since I’ve moved out, I could never leave them behind. Elmwood is not my favorite place all the time, but I can’t imagine leaving.
After my muffin is gone and half of my hot chocolate, I get up and follow the little trail that goes into the woods. I take out my phone and snap a few pictures of all the colors before making my way back to the bench. I sit for a while longer until my fingers start to get cold and I decide I had better get going back home.
Cassidy is sitting in the recliner when I get back. “Where were you? I was worried.”
“Did you try calling me?”
“No.”
“Then you must not have been too worried,” I retort.
“Where were you?”
“I was out for a walk. Have you seen all the crazy colors in the trees? It’s remarkable.”
“I guess I haven’t noticed. Where did you walk to?”
“I drove to Kally’s for some breakfast and watched the waves for a bit. I love that place.”
“Well, just be careful. Alec is probably still looking for you.”
“Yeah, I know. Do you think I have enough to get a restraining order put on him, or is it not too serious yet?”
“Wren, he yelled at you in public. Not to mention he almost yanked your arm off and was taking you to God knows where! I’d say you have enough.”
“I don’t know where he was trying to take me, and he was probably drunk. I’ll do some research on it. I’ll be in my room if you need me.”
I spend a few hours on the computer looking up different ways to file for a restraining order. I don’t want to file until absolutely necessary, but I also don’t want things to get worse. He was never physical in the three years we were together. A little vocal at times, but he never laid a hand on me.
I call my phone company and put a block on his number so I don’t have to deal with him calling me and leaving me messages all the time.
That night as I lay in bed reading, my phone vibrates.
Logan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Reading.
Logan: Want to come over and hang out?
It makes me feel good that he wants to see me again. I’d love to be held, especially tonight, but I also don’t want to run to him every time he calls.
Me: Not tonight, I’m too tired. Rough weekend.
Logan: That sucks. Well, I hope to see you again soon.
Me: I’m sure I’ll see you soon. Good night, Logan.
Logan: Night, Wren. Sweet dreams.
I lie the phone on my chest and think about Logan. What does he want from me?
*****
The next day after work, Logan calls me. “Do you have plans Thursday night?”
“No, why?”
“I have two tickets to the Metallica concert at the Xcel. I was wondering if you’d want to go with me?”
“Seriously? Oh my gosh. I’d love to see them! And you want me to go?”
“Of course. There’s no one else I’d rather go with.”
“I’m so excited!” Metallica is one of my favorite bands of all time. I’m ecstatic.
The week couldn’t have gone any slower as I patiently wait for Thursday. Wednesday night, I get a phone call from Logan.
“Hello?” I excitedly answer.
“Hey, Wren. I’ve got bad news.”
No! Don’t even tell me you’re bailing on me again. “Let me guess. You can’t go,” I say bluntly.
“I have to fly to New York tomorrow to attend a Road Show for work. I’ll be gone all weekend. I tried to get out of it, I swear. There’s nothing I can do.”
I want to cry. I had my hopes up that we would get to go, and now not only am I not going with Logan, I’m not going at all. “It’s okay,” I mumble.
“I’m sorry. I wanted to go so bad.” That makes two of us.
“I understand. But if there’s nothing you can do, then oh well.”
“I have to get going to pack and stuff, but maybe I’ll see you when I get back?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“I really am sorry.”
“Bye, Logan.”
“Bye.”
I hang up.
I’m mad. I know it wasn’t intentional this time, but still. I wanted to go. I quickly text Cassidy since she’s already at work.
Me: Do you work tomorrow night?
Cassidy: Nope. I’m all yours.
Me: Wanna go to the Metallica concert with me?
Cassidy: Not really… But yes, I will go. Did Logan ditch you again?
Me: He has to fly to New York. I just don’t want to miss out when I had my hopes up of going. There are still tickets available. Shitty ones, but I don’t even care. And I’ll pay!
Cassidy: Yeah, let’s go. There will probably be nothing but men at a concert like that.
Me: Exactly! Thank you!
I don’t know why I do it, but I grab my phone, and find Aaron’s name.
“Hello?”
“Aaron?”
“Yeah? Who is this?’
“This is Wren. I met you-”
“I’m just kidding, I know who you are,” he interrupts. “Sorry. I haven’t heard from you in so long, I had to give you a little crap.”
I give a small chuckle, then get to the point. “I was wondering what you were doing tomorrow night?”
“I’ve got nothing going on. Did you want to hang out?”
“Actually, I was about to order some Metallica tickets and wanted to see if you were able to come with me and my friend?”
“Hell yeah! Are there even tickets still available?”
“Yeah, they opened up some extra seating today.”
“Sweet. Do you want to meet at my house and we can all go together? Do you remember where I live?”
“Yeah, I remember. We’ll plan to be there around five?”
“Perfect. Let me know how much and I’ll give you the money tomorrow.”
“Don’t worry about it. I invited you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Thanks for calling me, Wren.”
I hang up feeling better. Take that, Logan. I don’t need you to have a good time! I feel bad using Aaron like that to get back at Logan in some way. Aaron is cool, and I like him. Besides, Cassidy will be there, so it won’t be too weird, and there will definitely not be any of those awkward silences. Cassidy is good at filling those all on her own.
*****
I pull into Aaron’s driveway, thankful that I remembered where to turn. He’s standing outside waiting for us in a black coat and fitted blue jeans. His hair is a little longer now but still has that small faux hawk. I pull up and roll down my window a little.
“No, get in. My car is already warm.”
“I have a heated garage. Mine is warm too.”
“Ooh. Now get in, Fancypants!” I tease.
He smiles and opens the door to the back. He throws a couple hundred dollar bills my way. “For the ticket.”
“I said I’d pay. Besides, that’s way too much.” Tossing it behind my seat. He grabs it and puts it inside of my center console. “I insist,” he says firmly.
“Fine, I’ll take it!” Cassidy exclaims as she opens the console back up and removes it.
“Thank you, Aaron,” I say, taking the money from Cassidy and tucking it in my purse as I drive.
The streets are already packed as I pull into the ramp and try to find a parking spot. Aaron stands close to me as we step into the elevator, then walk to the venue. He smells like expensive cologne. I could smell it in the car on the way over here, and I liked it. I pull the tickets from my purse, thankful I didn’t bring my gun, as it gets checked by security. I didn’t want to have to run all the way back to my car and lock it in the safe I keep in there for instances like these.
As we head through the hall, Aaron leans into me and whispers, “So what we’re going to do is get into our seats, and then once the concert starts, we’ll look for empty seats and make our way towards the front. That way, we get a better show.”
“Can we do that? What if those are someone’s seats and they’re just running late?” I’m horrified that someone might come and kick us out.
“Then we’ll apologize and find somewhere else to sit. It’s no big deal, I do this all the time. It’ll be fine.”
I reluctantly nod in agreement as we find our row. We sit down, and I take in the crowd that’s already gathered. Aaron is on one side with Cassidy on the other, and the stage towards our right. As Cassidy talks about drama from the bar, I get the feeling Aaron is being left out. He hasn’t said a word, and I’ve never thought of him as quiet. I turn to say something to him, but I don’t even know where to begin. Why did I think it was a good idea to invite him? Now I feel as if I have to entertain him and make sure he has a good time.
“So did you happen to catch the names of the opening bands?” I ask.
“Nah, I didn’t look. I was just excited to see Metallica. I didn’t care who else was playing.”
“Fair enough,” I agree. Although, I’m always excited to see other bands, especially if they’re new and I get to listen to them for the first time. I love my music.
We sit in silence until Cassidy leans across me and asks about Eric.
“He’s actually here somewhere with his brother. He got tickets when they first went on sale.”
“I’m going to text him and see where he’s sitting,” she says as she takes out her phone.
Finally, the lights dim and the first band starts. Everyone around us screams and cheers. I’m relieved that the music is so loud I don’t have to try and make conversation with Aaron. After the second band starts, Cassidy gets up and says she has to run to the restroom. I don’t have to go and don’t want to leave Aaron alone, so I stay. After about twenty minutes, Cassidy makes her way back.
“I got so lost!” she exclaims. She pulls my head towards her as she yells into my ear, “She’s here.”
“Who’s here?” I ask, confused.
“I saw Holly. She was fixing her hair in the mirror when I came out of the stall. She’s wearing a hideous skirt,” she says as she makes a face. “She looks ridiculous in this crowd. Even I tried to dress to fit in.”
My heart sinks. Deep down I know who she’s here with.
Cassidy continues, “She didn’t see me, so I followed her. She’s sitting two sections over.”
“Are you sure it was her?”
“I’m positive. Same stupid butterfly tattoo.”
I frown. She could be with someone else.
“I saw him too,” she says reluctantly.
I look at her. “Logan?”
She nods. “It was him. And they were sitting next to each other.”
I shake my head. He’s such an asshole.
Aaron nudges me. “Ready?”
“For what?” I ask.
“To move and get better seats.”
“Sure.” I look to Cassidy. “Ready?”
She grabs her purse and stands up with us. We go up the stairs and back out into the hallway, following Aaron’s lead. We walk roughly three sections over so we are dead center to the stage. I subtly glance towards my left in the section Cassidy claims Logan and Holly are sitting. I don’t see them as we head towards the front, and I can only hope Logan sees me with Aaron as we walk by. We end up getting great seats. I want to text him ‘I see you’ just to see what happens. So he knows that I know.
I turn my attention back to the concert. Fire comes up from every direction as James Hetfield sings his heart out. They play every favorite song I have and more. I try to embrace the moment and have a good time. Nothing this exciting should be ruined for me by some guy and some nasty girl. I just wish I didn’t know Logan lied to me so he could bring Holly with him instead. Why did he even ask me to come? There’s no one else I’d rather go with. That’s what he’d told me. What a crock of shit. Why am I even surprised? I guess I’ve finally learned my lesson.
I look over at Aaron. I don’t like him like that. I just used him in some way to get back at Logan. On one hand, I’m glad I brought him, but I didn’t do it with honest intentions.
After the concert is over, I continue glancing around for proof that they’re together, but I see nothing. We are thrown together in the crowd of people pushing their way towards the exit as Aaron puts his arm around me. It makes me uncomfortable, knowing this action is completely unnecessary. Cassidy is clinging to my free arm as we follow the flow of bodies. Aaron takes his time letting go of my shoulders as we get outside where there’s plenty more room. I look at him and give him an awkward smile as we trek to my car. Cassidy talks to Aaron as I drive in silence to his house. Fortunately, it isn’t very far away. He hesitates before getting out of the car, thanking me for the ride and invite. I think he was hoping I’d walk him to the door and hug him or kiss him or something. As cute as he is, my heart isn’t into it.
As we pull away, Cassidy asks, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’m just so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. I think you’ve been confused for a long time about all this. About him.”
“I agree, but you know what? I think I always knew, somewhere deep down, that it was never going to work between us. I really do. I remember thinking that very thing when we first started dating. Before he even stood me up…the first time.”
“I thought it was going to work out. I really thought that somehow you were going to end up with him. I guess I was wrong.”
“Yeah, you and me both.”
“You know what we need?”
“I’m not going to the bar. I don’t want to.”
“No. We’re going to have a spa day. I’m talking the works.”
“I’ve never even been to a spa before.”
“Oh, honey. Once you go, you won’t be able to wait to come back. It’s ah-mazing!”
“Sounds good then. Wren and Cassidy’s Day of Fun!” I say in my best Janice impression from the TV show Friends. We both laugh. “How much do those things cost?”
“How about we save for a couple of weeks, then we’ll go beginning of next month?”
“I have most of my earnings from The Edge saved, so I can throw some money down for a girl day. Great idea. I can’t wait!”
Chapter 15
Cassidy and I decide to sleep in as late as we can on our spa day, which only turns out to be around ten in the morning. Our goal was for noon, but that didn’t happen. We sit together in the kitchen and eat some breakfast as we go over what we want done at the spa. We opt for the half day instead of the full. That way, we have time to go to the mall later because what’s
a girl day without a little shopping?
After we are dressed and ready to go, we climb into my Optima and make the drive towards Naturally You Spa. We walk in and pay a small fortune at the front desk before being greeted by a small framed, older woman. She brings us down the hall towards a couple of smaller rooms for us to undress before our massage. I’m not used to being pampered, and I’m slightly uncomfortable at first, but eventually give in and don’t have a care in the world for the next forty-five minutes.
Cassidy wants a facial and some much needed waxing done, so I opt for a body treatment instead. We’re then brought to a different room where we are covered in oils and balms, followed by manicures and pedicures. I’m afraid to go out into the world and stub my toe or smash my beautiful fingernails.
After four glorious hours of beautifying ourselves, we are at the mall. Cassidy keeps trying to talk me into buying several cocktail dresses since I don’t own a single one. I end up buying two dresses, three maxi skirts, six tops, shoes, and jewelry to go with it. I like the maxi skirt option because it’s stylish and I don’t feel like I’m going to flash myhoo ha to the world. Not that I don’t wear panties…
Now that we are broke, and it’s time for dinner, we sit down at The Cheesecake Factory and splurge some more. We’ve had the best day that was much needed for the two of us. As always, our conversations always come back to books and boys, and we’ve been discussing books since we stopped talking about fashion, so that leaves us with boys.
“How are you and Jack? Getting any more serious?” I ask.
“No, nothing more than usual. How are you dealing with the Logan thing?”
“I actually haven’t thought about him all day.” He may have briefly entered my mind a few times, but he didn’t last in my thoughts very long. He’s a dick, and that’s that.
“I’m glad. You seem to be a little more like your old self again. I like it. I miss the old you.”
“I feel better. I’m glad we had this day together.”
“I don’t think it was the spa that makes you feel like that. I think it’s you. Maybe because we finally had a chance to talk about everything. It’s good for you to open up and talk about those kinds of things. Don’t hold stuff like that in,” she says with concern in her voice.