by Starr, Bria
“I don’t feel like I really hold anything in. I talked with you, Zachary, and my mom about what was going on with my breakup with Alec. This thing with Logan only lasted three months but was somehow far worse than the last experience. I don’t understand it. With Alec, it was clear as day why it didn’t work out. Cheating is unforgivable.”
Cassidy shakes her head. “Cheating is forgivable. I’ve been cheated on and stayed with the guy. I got over it. You remember Patrick? It would come back and haunt me every once in a while, but people make mistakes,” she claims.
“I want someone to love me, and only me. I don’t want to share.”
She studies me, but stays silent.
“What are you thinking?” I ask.
“I wonder what’s going to happen to us in the future. Who we’ll end up with. If we’ll truly be happy. Do you ever wonder that?”
“All the time. I wish I knew,” I replied, honestly. “Do you hope to end up with Jack?”
“I would be happy with Jack. I don’t know if I could get any better.”
“Don’t say that. Do you still see Eric?”
“No. He was not very good in bed, therefore, we are not compatible.”
I snicker. “It’s good to be sexually compatible. I think it’s very important. It’s certainly not everything, or even the most important thing in a relationship, but I do think it’s important.”
“I think it’s more than important. It’s a necessity. Speaking of hot sex, don’t hate me,” she pauses before continuing, “but I think you should try going out with Zach.”
I stare at her. “We’ve gone over this. You mentioned it before, and I said I didn’t see him that way.”
“Yes, but do you still feel the same way about him? Do you still only see him as a friend? Nothing more?” she asks. “Not even after seeing him in his underwear?”
My first reaction is to laugh at the absurdity of liking Zach more than a friend. Could I actually date the guy? Maybe.
“You’re thinking about it, and you’re not saying no!” Cassidy exclaims.
“You asked me to think about it, so I am. Calm down,” I scold, looking around the restaurant. I ponder for a minute. “I admit, Zachary would make an amazing boyfriend, but he’s still hung up on his ex. I don’t think he’s done playing the field yet.”
“There is no field. That man only has eyes for you. Can’t you see it?”
“I guess I can’t. I see him more as another big brother.”
“Just try it. Please? For me. One date. That’s all I ask.”
“We’ve had plenty of dinners and movies together, stayed in a hotel together, plus the countless lunches. Anything date worthy, we’ve done. I don’t see it happening,” I explain. “Oh, and another thing, if he liked me as much as you think he does, why hasn’t he ever made a move on me? Not once has he ever tried to hold my hand or kiss me. Never.”
She smiles. “Because he likes you that much.”
Could she be right? Does he care for me so much that he’s just been biding his time? “No. I don’t think-”
“Wren, Zach’s in love with you. He is.”
I grab a menu. “So, what are we getting for dessert?”
*****
On our way home, I notice the same car has been following us for quite some time. I wouldn’t have noticed if we were on the main highway, but I happened to be driving on the back roads. I’d started taking them when I wanted to escape traffic, but kept driving on them once I realized how much quicker it was. There aren’t many perks to living in the middle of nowhere, but that’s one of them. I drive past our house and keep going until I get to the gas station three miles down the road. There are always people coming and going out of here no matter what time of day or night it is.
“What are we doing here?” Cassidy asks.
“Oh, I was just going to fill the car up.” I notice the car continues on and doesn’t stop.
“You still have half a tank,” she points out.
“I know. I won’t be long.” I get out and insert my card. I really don’t need gas, but I have a bad feeling. It’s worth a few extra bucks to ease my suspicions. I hope I’m not going crazy.
We get home and unload our new treasures out of the car, then run upstairs and try on everything we just bought.
*****
Logan has texted me a couple of times today, asking what I’m doing tonight. I haven’t talked to him much in the last couple of weeks since the concert. I don’t really have much to say to him, so I politely decline his invitations to come over and hang out. I am officially moving on. The few nights I’ve spent at Logan’s have always left me feeling cheap, even though we’ve only cuddled and watched movies. I just can’t do that to myself anymore and needed to get over this…whatever this was.
Instead of hanging out with Logan, I’ve been spending my free time with Cassidy and Zach. Zach has been gracing us with his presence in our home, and Cassidy is more than happy to have him over. It’s annoying how she claims she wants me to date him, yet she always flirts with him. I can’t help but get a little jealous.
I appreciate the nights when she has to go to work. Zach and I are finally free to watch something that’s not a romantic comedy. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy them, but that’s all that Cassidy watches. I need some blood and violence from time to time.
When I’m sitting next to Zach, I slyly peek at him out of the corner of my eye. Does he like me like that? Maybe. He’s never mentioned it or made any kind of pass towards me. Ever.
I’m completely uncertain of my feelings toward him. I like him—love him in other ways—but if he pushed me down on top of this couch and kissed me right now would I let him? Hell yeah, I would! But sleep with him? I don’t think I have any desire to actually sleep with him. Not right now, anyway. Although, I’d bet anything he’d be so magnificent in bed that he’d cause any girl to see the gates of Heaven.
“Why are you staring at me?” Zach nonchalantly asks.
Crap.
“I’m not. Mind your own business,” I quip and look away. I’m slightly embarrassed.
“Oh, I see how it is. How would you like it if I sat and stared at you?”
“I don’t care. Go ahead.”
“Don’t mind if I do. I could stare at you all night.”
I freeze.
Is that an innuendo? Is Cassidy right? Damn it.
His eyes are burning a hole into the side of my face. “Okay, Zachary, you’re right. It’s disconcerting to have someone stare at you. I’ll refrain from doing that in the future.”
“I don’t mind if you were staring at me. I just want to know what you were thinking.”
“No, you don’t. Trust me.”
“No, no. Trust me. I would looove to know.” He smirks.
There is no way in hell I will ever tell him that I just envisioned him throwing me down on the couch before screwing each other senseless. Not happening. “Cassidy likes you.”
His head pulls back. “Cassidy?”
“Yup. She likes you.” I was just stating the obvious.
“You know I don’t like Cassidy. Not as anything more than a friend. Do you want me to?”
“You could. Or you could just do what you two do best and sleep together with no strings.”
He looks belittled. “Do what I do best? You think I sleep around?”
“It’s not any of my business who you sleep with. I’m sorry if I’ve offended you. It wasn’t my intention,” I apologize.
“It’s not like we’ve ever discussed it, but no, I don’t sleep around. I have in my past, but not for the last couple of years. I’m pretty particular about who I like,” he says, still visibly upset.
“I’m sorry. I have such a big mouth sometimes, and don’t think before I speak.”
“I’m not upset that you think I’m a man-whore. Even though I really believed you thought a little more highly of me than that. I just can’t believe you’d bring up me dating Cassidy.”
; “You know I think very highly of you. I really am sorry I said that, but you’re attractive, and Cassidy is attractive…you’re both my friends. I don’t know. I could see it happening.”
“It’ll never happen. She’s cool and all, but she’s not my type.”
“Who is your type? Kate?” I’m feeling brave.
He leans forward and rubs his hands down his face. “I was wondering when you were going to bring that up. I wanted to so many times, but I never wanted to ruin the moment.”
“So that’s her, huh? The ex?”
“Yeah, that’s her.”
“I met her. I never knew.”
“Well, how could you? It’s not as if I have pictures of her hanging around my house.”
“But you could have that now, right? If you wanted it.” It makes me sad to think of him with her. I feel as if he can do so much better. She’s beautiful, yes, but she’s also a bit psycho. She has to be, leaving Zach the way she did, plus the fact that she’s friends with Holly. You just have to be slightly psycho to put up with that.
“What do you mean?”
“I heard she was single again, and that she wanted you back, but that information was from Holly, and I don’t trust that girl as far as I can throw her.”
“No, don’t believe anything Holly tells you, but it is true. She’s single.”
“You talked to her?”
“She’s called me a few times. If I wanted her back I would have taken her back by now, but I don’t want her. That ship has sailed.”
I watch Zach talk. He’s so passionate about absolutely everything. If we weren’t talking about his ex-girlfriend right now, maybe I would just lean forward and kiss him. Maybe. Then I guess we’d find out for sure if he really likes me or not.
Maybe I had it wrong. Maybe it wasn’t Kate he wanted after all. Then who has he been talking about? Who was the song for? Surly it wasn’t me. It doesn’t make sense for it to be me.
“You’re staring at me again.”
“Sorry.” I grin.
“This is not how I thought this night was going to go, but I’m glad we got that out of the way. Now you know I don’t want Cassidy, and I don’t want Kate.”
I gulp. “Who do you want then?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he jokingly taunts.
I don’t say anything.
He takes it back to a serious note. “I’d like to get married and have a family one day, but not with them.”
“Well, I’m glad we got this conversation out of the way.”
“I don’t mind you getting to know me better, Wren.”
“I like knowing about you.” I pause. “But I really thought you’d take her back,” I add.
He laughs. “Okay, this conversation is now over. I had better get going, it’s past your bedtime,” he says, standing up and reaching for my hands.
I grasp his hands and stand to stretch my legs. He wraps his arms around me and gives me a hug; a longer, closer hug than usual. He says goodnight, and I watch him walk to his truck.
I quickly get out my phone and text Cassidy.
Me: Zachary just left. Do you truly believe that he likes me?
Cassidy: Did he kiss you???
Me: Of course not! I’m being serious though.
Cassidy: Yes. I really believe he likes you.
Me: I’m starting to think so too.
Cassidy: Don’t go to sleep. I’ll be home in two hours. And I could use a drink. Or three.
Me: I’ll wait up.
“So what happened?” Cassidy asks. I go into detail of our discussion deciding to leave certain personal details of Zach’s life out. Cassidy sits back and listens to the entire story while sipping on her wine, only interrupting to ask a question or two.
“Can you explain something to me?” I ask her.
“What’s that?”
“I’m confused. You want me to like Zach and to go for it, but yet you’re practically hanging on him right in front of me? It contradicts everything you tell me.”
“Are you jealous?”
“No, just confused.”
“You sound jealous.”
“I’m not!”
“Listen, I do want you to go after him, get some from him, and maybe even realize you do like him. But if that fine piece of ass wants what I’m offering, there’s no way I’m going to turn him down.”
*****
We break out the baking pans, measuring cups and bowls, then bake chocolate chip cookies and brownies and stay up for hours just eating and talking. I wrap up what’s left and store them on the counter before we head to our bedrooms. I lie awake, my thoughts straying to Logan as they always do, before I start thinking about Zach.
I hear a loud noise outside my window. I immediately grab my phone to dial 911 if need be, then reach into my nightstand for my gun. Putting a bullet in the chamber, I sit straight up in my bed and listen. Cassidy turns on the hallway light and comes running down the hallway.
“Did you hear that?” she asks.
“Shut the fucking light off, Cassidy!” I whisper sharply. She shuts it off and uses her phone to guide her way back to my room. She crawls on the bottom of my bed and sits there.
“I don’t hear anything. It could have been a raccoon or something, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, it’s possible,” I say, getting up to peek through the closed blinds. The moon isn’t very bright, and I don’t see anything unusual outside. “Whatever it was seems to be gone now. If I hear anything else, I’ll call the cops.”
“Okay. I’m coming back in here if I do,” she says, walking back towards the hallway.
Crawling back under the covers I place my gun, still loaded, on top of my nightstand. The sun should be rising soon. It probably was an animal.
I hope.
When I wake up, I head over to my window and peek through the blinds. I quickly get dressed and meet Cassidy who is already down in the kitchen, eating some cereal. It was only a few hours ago that we heard the noise. I slept like shit, and judging from Cassidy’s appearance, she did too.
“I’m going to see if the garbage can was knocked over or something.”
“I’ll come with you.”
She leaves her bowl on the counter, and we throw on our coats and shoes, and walk outside. There is frost on the ground, but no snow yet. It’s coming though because it’s freezing outside. Both the garbage and recycle bins are sitting upright and in place. We don’t have a garage, so we walk around the house.
“I never thought of it before, but I’m now extremely grateful our rooms are on the second floor,” I say.
“I know, I was just thinking the same thing. I won’t complain again about walking all the way up the stairs to bed every night after I get home from a rough day,” Cassidy adds.
We stop and stare at the grass. It looks somewhat like footprints; we both see it. I feel like throwing up everything I consumed the night before as I look up and see my window right above where we are standing.
“No,” I whisper.
Cassidy looks at me, worried. I remove my phone from my pocket and snap a few pictures before the frost has the chance to melt. I go to the kitchen and living room windows where there appears to be more footprints and grass matted down. I take more pictures before forcing Cassidy into the house. As I’m closing all the blinds, I look at her; tears are streaming down her face.
“Don’t ever forget to lock the doors again, do you hear me? Go upstairs and lock all the windows. I’m going to call the police. I’m not sure if there’s anything they can really do. I’m not even sure if those were actual footprints out there.”
She nods her head and moves towards the stairs. I double check all the locks and make sure all the blinds are drawn, then call the police station.
*****
I walk outside and meet the Sheriff. I bring him to the areas of concern, and tell him about the loud noise we had heard the night before. He takes notes and says that he can’t tell for sure if those ar
e, in fact, footprints, but he’ll talk to the neighbors to see if they saw or heard anything. He explains that they’ll patrol the place daily, then reminds us to keep our doors locked and to call if we hear anything else.
Cassidy and I hide out in our rooms for the rest of the day. I watch her walk out to her car when she leaves for work. I get a couple texts from Zach, so I let him know what’s going on.
Zachary: Do you want me to come over?
Me: No, I’m okay here. But thank you for offering.
Zachary: I have a show tonight, but can come over until I have to leave.
Me: I’m fine, I promise. I have my gun on me and my phone right by my side in case I need to dial 911.
Zachary: If you change your mind or get scared, do you promise you’ll call me?
Me: I promise. Thank you.
Zachary: It’s my pleasure.
Cassidy and I check in with each other throughout the night while she’s gone. I’m not even sleeping when she calls me in the middle of the night to watch her walk from her car to the house. After she is safely inside, I go back to bed and toss and turn until morning.
Chapter 16
Sunday morning, I drag myself out of bed. I make some coffee, then sit there, thinking I’ll maybe take a nap later. I could use one. My eyes burn from lack of sleep, and I’m sure they are bloodshot as all hell. After my coffee is finished, I debate bringing a cup up to Cassidy, but if she’s still sleeping I should let her get as much as she can. She probably didn’t sleep well either. I hadn’t heard any noises last night, but something still seems amiss.
Around noon, I hear a light tapping downstairs at the front door at the same time my phone vibrates.
Zachary: I’m here. Open up.
I run downstairs and open the door as he welcomes me with a bear hug. “How are you doing? Did anything happen last night?”
“No, I didn’t hear a sound.”
“Good.”
“Cassidy is still sleeping.”
“Still? It’s after twelve.”
“Neither of us have slept the past two nights. She needs it.”