Hunger

by Harmony Raines

  She lay against his chest, shivering, until he bent down and picked her up, carrying her into the little house that was hers now. Inside the lights illuminated the room, the smell of the food assailing her senses.

  “When was the last time you ate?” Ishk asked.

  “I don’t remember. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. Two days, I think, you brought me here.” Nothing made sense. Her brain was a scattered mess of thoughts and memories.

  “I think you need to eat, Evie.” He began to dish some of the food onto a plate, and handed it to her. She took it, but simply stared at it. She felt sick.

  He picked up the fork, and guided it to her mouth. It did smell good, maybe just one mouthful... One mouthful led to another, and slowly her awareness came back to her.

  “I can do it now, thank you.” She took the fork from him and ate hungrily.

  “Did Darl examine you?”

  “Yes,” she answered, clearing the plate and helping herself to seconds.

  “Did he say everything was OK?” Ishk asked gently.

  “The baby is too small to see. But I guess so.”

  “I meant with you?”

  Why do you care? Oh yes, because she needed to be healthy to give birth to a healthy child. “Yes, although the mixing of our DNA can make me feel sick.”

  “Do you feel better now?”

  “Much, maybe I was just hungry.” She got up and poured herself some water. “Can I get you anything to eat or drink?”

  “No. Thank you. I came to see if you were all right. If you had everything you need.”

  “Yes, I think so. I have had plenty of help today, and tomorrow they are coming back to help me clean out the rest of the house.”

  “I could help you,” he said, a little embarrassed.

  “I thought the idea of me being here was so that you don’t have to live with a human female. It kind of defeats the object if you spend your time here with me.”

  “Evie, I’m sorry.” He got up and went to stand at the doorway, looking out into the darkening night. “I was rude to you.”

  “It doesn’t matter now, Ishk. Our relationship is over. I have conceived your child. You can go and spend your time fighting for all the women to be sent here. I know that is what you believe is right.”

  He didn’t rise to her verbal attack. Instead he said, “The house seemed so empty without you.”

  “Ishk,” she said, standing now, glad she was feeling better. “Please don’t expect me to feel sorry for you.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant.” He turned to face her, the colours on his skin the same hues as the sunset. Evie wished she could read them, to know what they meant. But when he placed his hand on her cheek, she got some idea. His feelings for her were confirmed when he said, “I wish we had more time.”

  “For what, Ishk? For you to enjoy making your child?”

  “No. Not that I didn’t enjoy it, but you didn’t, did you? I went to the simulation today.”

  “Why?”

  “To run some data through the system. The sim reminded me I hadn’t seen how humans … like to be … touched. I thought … well, I don’t know what I thought.” He was quiet, trying to formulate his words; words that she knew were hard for him to say. “I thought that you weren’t supposed to enjoy it, that you were just a vessel in which I was supposed to plant my seed.”

  “Your mothers weren’t compliant, were they, Ishk? So you thought that human females would be the same. Only part willing, in return for food.”

  He shook his head. “No, they were anything but compliant. In the orphanage, the other boys would talk, they were from the mines, or their fathers were those sent deep into space to explore. They talked about our mothers as if they were animals. I was impressionable. I blamed the mothers for what we were. I blamed them for the loss of my father. A loss which cut into my heart so deep I thought I would die.”

  His body shuddered and his colours turned blue, which meant sadness, she could feel it through his skin, her fingertips reading his emotions, such a deep well of loss. “You were very young, Ishk.”

  “I paid special attention in the classes where we were taught to contain our emotions. I pushed them down, repressed them. All I ever thought about was getting back to the farming belt and being what my father had taught me. But when I did return, there was no real pleasure. I had learned to store my emotions in a box, within a box, the lid so tightly locked it was never to be opened.”

  He continued, “And then the other fathers died, and I saw the sorrow. I lived through it, but couldn’t feel it. I was a voyeur to that sadness. And because I saw it with different eyes, I knew I had to do what I could to stop it happening again. So I worked my way onto the Hier Council, making sure that no orphan from the farming belt would ever have to go out of his community again. That the next generation should be kept in their own territory. I pushed for tighter controls on emotions, and when we discovered Earth and I saw what you were, I knew that it was my duty to stop your influence over us.”

  “Why, Ishk, why do you hate us so much?”

  “Because of who you are. What you are.”

  “And we are beyond redemption? Because we have destroyed our planet, you think we deserve to become extinct?”

  He looked at her then looked away. “That is not the reason.”

  “Then what is, Ishk?” she asked, needing to know, needing to understand the man who was the father of her child. Not because she believed he would suddenly take her in his arms and promise to love and cherish her forever. That dream had gone.

  “Your emotions. You live on them, anger, hate, fear, love. Look at what those men did to you, for what? Greed. You will bring those things to our planet, and spread them like a disease. And what happens when you die, when all of the parents die, and the sorrow is unleashed. What then?”

  “What then? Children grieve. You prepare them for it and you let them grieve. Shutting your emotions down is never going to be the answer. Let me ask you a question, Ishk. Would you rather not have known your father?”

  “No,” he said firmly. “Of course not.”

  “But you think that children, your child, would be a better person not knowing me. Not knowing who his mother was. Not feeling the love a parent can give.”

  His colours exploded, as though a great dam had been unleashed and she had to force herself to keep in contact with his skin because she thought the electricity sparking from it might burn her. “I don’t know. I have always known what was best, and now … now I don’t know anything.”

  She cradled his head against her chest, soothing him as if he was that seven-year-old child. “You don’t have to know, Ishk. You just have to open your heart and try. Try to see things objectively. Your people weren’t given a chance to make decisions about how you lived. When your females died out, your species did what you had to do to stop yourselves from becoming extinct. I get that. But now you do have a choice. Your generation gets to choose.”

  “But what if we are wrong? What if we let ourselves change and it ends in disaster?”

  “But what if you are right?” She kissed the top of his head. “I’m not telling you to save the human race. That is another argument, for another day. All I am asking you for is to give us a chance. Give the women you bring here a chance. Let your people have a choice.”

  “It would be so easy to agree with you. To let your words into my head and believe them. To let you into my heart.”

  “You don’t have to believe them; you only have to be willing to open yourself up to the possibility of being with me. And who knows, I might prefer to live here anyway. On Earth, women have a choice just as much as men.”

  “I’m not sure if I can allow myself to try. I don’t know how to have a relationship, Evie, it is not something we are taught. I thought it would be easy, to be with you and then for us to part, but it isn’t. And yet it is just as hard for me to ask you to be with me.”

  “Ishk.” She pressed her hand to h
is face, feeling the heat of his skin. “I know it’s not easy. I understand it’s not what you want. I also think that you as a race have kept yourselves very insular, whereas I come from a species who are so cramped and crowded they have to interact with each other. When I was young, I lived in a wonderful community where people supported each other. Your world is the most amazing place; I know because I can see just how much you love it. But your people need to free themselves from their emotional restraints. You need to free yourself. If for no other reason than because you are going to be a father. Children need love.”

  “Will you teach me? How to love?”

  She laughed. “Maybe we will have to teach each other.” Her words weren’t meant to be harsh; however, she did not feel love for Ishk in any way. Compassion, attraction, yes. But love? That would take time.

  And there is plenty of that. So instead, she took his hand and led him to the bed, lying down with him. “So what did you learn in the simulation?” she asked, to break the strain.

  “I could tell you,” he said quietly. “Or I could show you.”

  “Ishk, I’m pregnant now. It doesn’t matter.”

  “I want to, Evie. I want you to feel how I felt when I was inside you. I want you to know the pleasure you gave me.”

  She doubted he could do that. But part of her really wanted to know if he could chase away that feeling of unfulfilled pleasure. “Then show me, Ishk.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven – Ishk

  At a crossroads, Ishk knew this was the point of no return. He could carry on as he was, and fight for what he thought he believed in, or give part of himself to this human female. Ishk let go of his past, of his thoughts towards the destruction these females could do to his planet. He let go of his childhood terror; the small boy who had lost his father could no longer rule Ishk’s life. He was a man now and he had to take responsibility, because she was right, soon he would be the father, and he needed Evie if their child was not going to grow up to be a carbon copy of Ishk. He needed Evie to show him how to open himself up, if not to love, then affection. Instead of the pool of loathing, he had become stuck in.

  His usual confidence gone, he took his time to unbutton the dress she wore, placing his lips against her skin just as the Karal sim had done. At first it felt false, his desire not yet a flame, as nerves took hold. Did Evie sense this? Because she slid down the bed, to rest her head close to his.

  With her thumb, she traced the line of his lips, following the contours, igniting the fire inside him. Smiling softly, she moved closer, her mouth close, and then she pressed her lips to his, moving them gently. For a moment he froze, his brain trying to compute what she was doing. Then a kind of instinct took over, and he moved his lips too, softly, almost reverently, not wanting to graze her with his teeth.

  Her hand went to his cheek, stroking his skin, her thumb caressing the curve of his ear, sending more tremors through his body. Pressing his body closer to his, her soft body against his hard muscles and felt as though he was home. That little boy he once was had found somewhere where he could be safe, somewhere he could be himself.

  She sighed, content, and the man took control of him once more. His hand went to her buttons, continuing to remove her dress, while she slipped her tongue into his mouth and stroked his lower lip. The flame grew, burning inside him, making him hard, making him eager to please her.

  Yet there was something he wanted to do before he entered her. He took his self-control and quashed his desire. This was about him showing Evie how much he wanted to please her.

  With renewed control, his fingers stopped trembling and he finished undoing her buttons, and slid the dress off her shoulders. She helped him, shrugging it off, allowing it to fall to the floor. Her breasts heaved, and with a groan, he undid her bra, her beautiful breasts spilling into his hands. Caressing them, he ran his thumb over the taut buds of her nipples, and decided that maybe his mouth might need to taste her flesh before he moved lower.

  She gasped against him, her arms wrapping around him, holding him close to her as he covered her nipple with his mouth. Sucking, he rolled his tongue over it, feeling her gasp and press closer to him, her hands on his back, nails digging into his flesh.

  Slipping his hand down between her thighs, he could feel her intimate heat growing, heat he wanted to taste.

  Releasing her breasts, he eased her down to lie on the bed, and then slipped along the length of her body. Hooking his fingers around the elastic of her panties, he pulled them down, his eyes drawn to the centre of her need. A need he intended to satisfy.

  One foot and then the other slipped out of her panties and then he threw them to the floor. His hands pressed her knees apart, feeling some resistance. Did Evie know what he was about to do? She was a virgin before she came here, and perhaps, although she knew about kissing and mating, she might not know about anything more.

  His cock hardened in his pants. He was about to teach her something about her body, something he was sure she would enjoy.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight – Evie

  He was between her thighs, but not with his body, instead he was looking at her. Looking at her intimately. Was this some kind of internal exam, was he going to test her for something?

  A little panicked, she tried to draw her legs together, but he kept the pressure on her knees, using his hands, and then moving to use his shoulders to keep her wide open for him. What was he doing?

  “Ahh,” she gasped, his finger slipping along the whole length of her sex, probing just enough to press against her inner walls, before pulling back out. His breath was warm on her thighs, moving increasingly higher, and then he kissed her clit. “Oh.”

  She nearly exploded then, the days of pent-up tension threatening to take control of her body, but she calmed herself down. She wanted more, so much more.

  His tongue slid across her clit, and then lower, pressing inside her sex. She gripped the sheets, balling them in her fists as she tried not to grab hold of his head and make him stop. Such an exquisite mixture of pleasure and what … not pain. But it was just as intense.

  Deeper now, he pushed into her, and then slid his tongue back to circle her clit. When it became almost too much, he returned to sucking her clit before probing inside her once more with his tongue.

  “Fuck!” A profanity she never used, but nothing else could be formed in her brain.

  In and out, applying just the right amount of pressure to take her to the edge and then pulling back. Writhing beneath him, she needed to come, for this to finally end in an orgasm. And there it was. He plunged two fingers inside her while his mouth sucked and licked her clit, a relentless motion that took her over the edge and into an abyss.

  The colours in her head exploded, reminding her of the wormhole they had travelled through on their way to Karal. So intense, so deep, taking her to another place and then throwing her out the other side, leaving her body fighting to regain control.

  Ishk raised his head and looked at her, more than a little pleased with himself, but she had to admit, he had every right to be, because that was incredible. Should she have expected it to be anything less, because she was sure he was a perfectionist? Well, he could practice perfection on her anytime.

  He moved, kissing her skin while he slid up the bed, until he was nestled between her thighs. The head of his cock pressed against her outer lips and then he pressed forward, the large head of his cock sliding into her. She was so wet; he thrust into her in one movement, the inner walls of her sex gripping him, yielding to him, accepting him.

  Ishk’s face showed both strain and ecstasy, he was holding himself together, wanting to please her again. Sliding back out, she felt an emptiness, bit only momentarily, as with one long lunge he impaled her on his cock. Evie’s oversensitive body soon neared a second orgasm, the residue of the last one still so fresh in her mind that she longed to soar to those heights again, with Ishk inside her.

  In and out, empty and full, he thrust hard and deep, before pulling bac
k, his hips working to plunder her depths until he came. His face contorted in agony as his cock fused with her and his seed spurted into her womb. And then an expression of such profound release crossed his face and he relaxed, relief flooding his face as she came too, his cock pressing against the sides of her sex, sending a chain reaction of pleasure through her body.

  Evie cried out, her voice high as waves of pleasure crashed into her. Her sex gripped his cock, pulsing and throbbing around him, and she clung to him, needing him to be her constant in a world that moved around her, lights and colours. When she could focus once more, she realised the lights and colours were him, his skin so bright, he radiated his emotions onto her. Running her hand over his back she read his emotions; it brought her closer to him, and closer than she had ever been to another person, human or otherwise.

  Ishk had released the plug that had kept him so bottled up, unable to be part of the changing world. Now his emotions flowed freely.

  “Did I please you?” he asked.

  “Yes, Ishk, you did. Especially that thing you did with your mouth.”

  “The sim…”

  “It was all you, Ishk.” Her hand rested on his back, and the vibrations from the colours were as if he were a cat purring with pleasure. She smiled and closed her eyes. This had to be the weirdest day ever.

  ***

  “What time is it?” she asked, feeling him move next to her. The room was in darkness. Only the faint glow of the coming dawn could be seen through the windows.

  “Early. I have to go home and change before I go to the tower.”

  “So early?” She had hoped he might stay with her. Or take her with him.

  “Yes. I have a council meeting this morning. I wish to be prepared for it.”

  “I see.” She pulled the sheets up under her chin, shielding herself from him. She was still the same baby whore she had been before. All he wanted was the chance to prove to himself that he was capable of pleasing a woman in bed. He had used her.

  “I will return this evening.” He bent down and kissed her.