by Emma Slate
“How are you still able to function?” I asked, sighing in relief when I felt Hawk nuzzling against me. Instinct would trump learned behavior. I hoped.
“Energy drinks,” Sasha said in a moment of levity. He paused for a moment and then said, “Are we going to talk about the state of Winters’s body?”
“I’d rather not,” I said, switching Hawk to the other breast, but he seemed finished for now.
“Barrett,” he said softly.
“Let’s not do this, Sasha. You saw the body. Flynn saw the body. We don’t need to rehash it.” I closed my shirt. “You can turn around now. I’m decent.”
He rubbed his jaw as he turned. His blond stubble made a raspy sound in the quiet, his blue eyes bright even though they were etched with fatigue. How was he still going?
“Because I’m the only one who can,” he said, answering me.
I blinked. “Did I speak out loud?”
“Yes.”
I sighed. “I’m more tired than I realized.”
“We should wake the others. We all need to talk.”
I stood with Hawk in my arms and followed Sasha back down to the living room. Duncan and Flynn were already awake, speaking in low tones while Ash continued to sleep. Duncan’s hand stroked Ash’s arm in a gesture of love and comfort.
“Any coffee in this place?” Duncan asked. “I can’t plan without a cup of coffee.”
“I’ll see,” Flynn said, pushing himself out of the chair. He strode to me and placed a chaste kiss on my lips and then ran a hand over Hawk’s head, which had sprouted fine dark hair while he was away from us.
What else had we missed?
A bout of rage suddenly overtook me, making me want to kill Winters all over again, but make his death last longer. My kidnapped child combined with the wrath I felt towards Winters had taken me to a place inside myself that I hadn’t known existed.
The bastard should’ve suffered more.
“Hen?” Flynn asked. “Why don’t you come with me into the kitchen.”
I looked at him a moment. It was a subtle command in the guise of a suggestion. I nodded and stood. Carrying Hawk, I followed Flynn into the small kitchen.
“Are you all right?” he asked me as he opened and closed cabinets, searching for coffee.
I adjusted Hawk and put him to my shoulder. My arms had quickly forgotten how it felt to hold my child; I remembered the weight of him, but he was bigger now. It was yet another reminder of what Winters had stolen from me.
“Am I all right?” I repeated quietly. “No, I’m not all right.”
Flynn found the coffee and filters and soon the smell of cheap coffee wafted through the air. It would get the job done, though, and at the moment, all we needed was enough caffeine so we could make the five hour drive back to Dornoch.
“Talk to me, Barrett,” Flynn said as he leaned against the counter.
“I can’t. Not right now. I want to break things, I want Winters to still be alive so I can make him really suffer for what he did to me—to us.”
Flynn’s cobalt blue eyes glittered with his own anger, but he nodded because he understood.
He poured out the coffee into cups, but didn’t have enough hands to carry it all back to all the occupants waiting for us. It was slow moving, but finally we all had coffee and seats. Hawk was asleep, but I wasn’t ready to put him in his travel carrier. I needed him close to me, to remind myself that he was safe.
“Everyone lucid?” Flynn asked.
There were grunts and nods but everyone looked as coherent as they were going to get without a good night’s sleep.
“First of all, I want to address the situation of Winters,” Flynn began. His eyes landed on Sasha.
Sasha nodded and answered, “I told Barrett that we need to burn the house down.”
Ash pinched the bridge of her nose. “Oh, sure.”
For some reason that made me laugh. It started as a giggle and then erupted into a full on belly laugh. My body shook and tears streamed out of the corners of my eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I said, gasping, trying to inhale a breath of air into my burning lungs. “It’s just—”
“Completely ridiculous,” Ash finished for me, her own face warring between mirth and disbelief. “This whole thing is fucking ridiculous.”
I started laughing again and Ash finally joined in. The men of the room looked at us like we were certifiable. They didn’t understand.
I managed to get myself under control and so did Ash. Duncan ran a hand across her back. We were so close to snapping—I probably already had. I was at my limit and I was exhausted. I wasn’t much use to anyone, and I certainly wasn’t thinking clearly.
“Our prints are all over this place,” Sasha continued as if nothing had happened.
“Not to mention Winters’ body is in the basement,” Duncan added.
Flynn nodded. “Aye. That’s the best way to deal with this.”
“And what about the rest?” I asked.
“Arlington,” Flynn stated. “And the SINS member.”
“We still don’t know who that is,” Duncan pointed out.
My arm started to ache and burn from the stitched up bullet wound. I regretfully settled a sleeping Hawk into his carrier, tucking a baby blanket around him.
“We’re not going to figure any of that out now, are we?” I asked. “Can we go home and deal with all of this?”
Flynn nodded. “I think that’s the best idea. I’ll stay and help Sasha with Winters—”
“You just found your son,” Duncan interjected. “I’ll stay.”
“Thank you, brother,” Flynn said softly.
“I guess that means I’m going with you,” Ash said with a look at me.
I nodded. “Help me with Hawk’s stuff?”
An hour later we were on the road homeward bound for Dornoch. The ride was silent. Flynn gripped the wheel, his face tense, eyes on the road. Ash dozed in the back next to Hawk, and even though he was close by, I felt myself turning around to look at him.
Flynn reached over and gripped my thigh. “You should sleep, love.”
“I’m fine.” I rested my hand on top of his. “You know what I want?”
“Tell me.”
“I want a hot bath, my bed—with you in it—and our son sound asleep in a bassinet in our room.”
“I think we can spare a day,” he took his eyes off the road for one moment to look at me, “and a night.”
I smiled in response as he turned his eyes back to the road.
“We’re going to have to talk about it, you know. Really talk about it,” he said.
“I know.”
“Why won’t you tell me? What are you afraid of? That I won’t love you? That I wouldn’t understand?”
I let out a laugh, but it sounded rusty. “You? You think this is about you?” I shook my head before leaning against the headrest and closing my eyes.
“You will not talk to Sasha about this,” Flynn said, not letting the conversation go. “I want to be the one you turn to.”
“You are the one I turn to.” I opened my eyes and forced myself to stare at him.
“No, I’m the one who you use for sex whenever you need to work something out. You talk to Sasha.”
“Not here,” I said. “Ash is asleep in the back seat and I don’t want to her to wake up to witness our fight.”
“Too late,” came Ash’s croaky, sleep-filled voice. “And I hate to be the one to break up the brewing fight, but your son needs changing.”
Chapter 32
Flynn was outside, hands shoved in his coat pockets, staring at the rolling hills. Ash and I had traded spots, and I was now in the back seat, trying to nurse a newly changed Hawk. He was having none of it.
“What’s wrong with him?” Ash asked.
“Who? Flynn or Hawk?” I nearly groaned in frustration, wondering why Hawk was being so fussy.
“Both. But let’s start with Hawk.”
“I don’t know.” I c
hanged Hawk’s position, putting him to my shoulder and rubbing his back, hoping that would soothe him. His cry died out, and he whimpered against my neck. His tears broke my heart.
“How much did you hear?” I asked, finally lifting my eyes to Ash.
She bit her lip, but her blue eyes remained on me.
“Yeah,” I sighed. “Thought so.”
“Is he right? About what he said?”
“I don’t have the brain power for this right now. I’m exhausted and Hawk won’t eat.”
“Have you tried feeding him with a bottle?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t even think that might be the issue.” Unfortunately, I didn’t have a breast pump on me.
“There’s got to be a town between here and Dornoch that has a breast pump.”
Breast pumps and murder. That had become my life.
I snorted with a bout of hysterical laughter. “I really need a nap,” I said when Ash looked at me in confusion.
I set Hawk back into his car seat and strapped him in, keeping my hand on his baby belly. “We should go,” I said.
Ash nodded. “I’ll tell Flynn.” She was about to get out the car but she stopped.
“What?” I asked her.
“He’s on the phone. And he doesn’t look happy.”
I took my eyes off of Hawk long enough to glance out the window. The wind had picked up and teased the hair off of Flynn’s forehead. Even from a distance, I could see the tense ferocity rolling off of him. The phone was to his ear and his jaw was clenched.
“You think something went wrong with burning down the house?” Ash asked. She ran a hand through her flat blonde hair. “Yeah, I heard what I just said.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. Duncan and Sasha are capable. They’ve got that locked down. No, I think this is something else.”
I watched Flynn hang up and then stride quickly to the car. He nearly ripped the door off its hinge. He sat for a moment gripping the steering wheel before finally turning on the ignition.
“Everyone buckled in?” he asked, his voice tight.
“Yes,” Ash and I chimed together.
Flynn turned around to look at me and then at our sleeping son. He nodded and then faced front. We sped away in silence, but the tension was palpable. Ash and I waited for Flynn to speak.
“Someone tried to kill Ramsey,” he clipped.
Ash gasped.
I shook my head. “How? Who knows he’s on Orkney?”
“The million dollar question,” Flynn muttered, clenching his jaw.
“I’m guessing Ramsey is okay?” Ash asked.
“Well, it wasn’t Jane Elliot calling, so aye. Ramsey’s fine and he took care of the guy who came after him.”
Ash glared at Flynn. “No need to get snippy. We’re all tired. We should stop for coffee.”
“No time,” Flynn said. “Have to get home.”
“Okay, then maybe you can stop for a breast pump,” Ash said.
Flynn shook his head. “What are you talking about?”
“Hawk won’t nurse,” I said, finally speaking up. “A bottle might make it easier.”
“Aye,” he said, resigned. “All right. We’ll stop, refuel and get what we need. But then we can’t stop. We have to get back to Dornoch.”
We all agreed and kept driving.
“Did Ramsey call Duncan to tell him?” Ash asked, staring out the side window.
“No. I told him I’d tell Duncan. Duncan’s got enough going on at the moment.”
Ash nodded thoughtfully. “Wise.”
“How’s Jane doing?” I wondered. The poor girl had been kidnapped from her own birthday party, held prisoner in a remodeled castle, and was now on an isolated island with Ramsey Buchanan. There was a palpable chemistry between them, but I knew the power of Stockholm syndrome. More so when the captor wasn’t a horrible monster.
“I think she’s fine,” Flynn said absently, eyes focused on the road. Storm clouds had rolled in and raindrops had begun to fall, splattering the windshield.
“Fine?” I asked. I hoped he could hear the eye-roll in my tone. “Did you even ask about her?”
“No. Ramsey would’ve said something if she wasn’t okay.”
“You men,” Ash huffed.
“I need to get out of this car,” Flynn said. “I just keep putting my foot in my mouth, don’t I?”
“We’re all sleep deprived and emotions are running high,” I said in way of explanation.
“Giving him a free pass, huh?” Ash asked with an amused chuckle.
“He is the father of my child. That gets him points,” I said, shooting Flynn a grin in the rearview mirror. His eyes met mine, and I saw the lines around his eyes crinkle, so I knew he was smiling back at me.
I glanced at Hawk who was awake but quiet. I drew a finger down his smooth cheek, feeling content in the moment, knowing it wouldn’t last because it never did.
“That was Duncan. Everything went off without a hitch,” Flynn said, hanging up the phone.
We all breathed a collective sigh of relief.
“Thank goodness,” I said.
“They’re on their way back to Dornoch. We’ll see them in a few hours,” he said, turning down the road that would take us to Duncan’s estate. Though Flynn and I hadn’t discussed it, we weren’t yet ready to move back into our home. At the moment, there was safety in numbers—in those that we could trust. For the time being we’d stay in the east wing of Duncan’s castle. There was certainly enough space.
“I’m so ready to be home,” Ash said. “I need a shower and a nap.”
“In what order?” I asked from the back seat. True to Flynn’s words, after finding coffee and a breast pump, we hadn’t stopped again. He’d taken some of the windy Highland roads a little fast, but the sky was clear and the looming rain hadn’t ever come.
“I might fall asleep in the shower,” Ash joked.
“Yeah, I think I’ve done that,” I said.
“You have,” Flynn said. “Right after Hawk was born. I walked into the bathroom, called your name, and got no response.”
“Trying to prioritize your needs with a newborn’s is damn near impossible,” I reminded him even though I hadn’t had to do it for very long. I thought of the weeks of Hawks absence. The only way I was going to move forward was to compartmentalize it. He was back with us, safe, whole, and no worse for wear. Thank God. I’d still burn everything in the diaper bag from the Edinburgh house, not to mention any clothes that Hawk wore. I wanted no reminder of our time apart—it would be difficult enough to deal with it as it was.
Flynn pulled the car up into the driveway outside the car garage. No one came to greet us or open the garage door, so Flynn parked.
Ash was out of the car and heading to the front door before I’d even managed to unlatch Hawk’s travel carrier.
“Here, love, let me,” Flynn said, taking Hawk from me. I gathered up the rest of Hawk’s belongings and followed Flynn into the house.
The first thing I noticed was the eerie silence. No hounds came to greet us and neither did Betty, the lamb that had been given to me as a gift that I’d turned into a pet.
Flynn and I looked at each other and he handed me the baby carrier. Flynn went ahead of me up the stairs and I trailed behind him at a cautious distance. When we made it up to the second floor, I heard Ash scream. Flynn ran towards her bedroom at the end of the hallway. When I got to the bedroom doorway, I had to swallow the bile threatening to come up.
In the middle of the king-sized bed were the bloody remains of the three hounds that had once belonged to Malcolm.
Ash was turned away from the scene, shaking, and rubbing her hands up and down her arms.
“Take her downstairs,” Flynn said to me.
I nodded, awkwardly trying to drag Ash out the room. I clutched her hand tightly, struggling with Hawk in my other hand. “Come on,” I said to her, leading her away. She had as much life in her as a limp rag doll. Tears streamed down he
r cheeks, and I wanted to wipe them away. But first I had to get us out of there.
“I’ll check the rest of the house,” Flynn said to my retreating back.
Betty, I didn’t say. Because there was a good chance the lamb had found the same fate as the other animals, and I couldn’t stomach the idea.
As I got Ash situated on the couch and grabbed her a glass of water, I thought about who had done this. The SINS member, obviously.
“Katherine,” I said suddenly.
Ash looked at me with dull eyes. “What about her?”
“We left her here with guards. Where is she?” I demanded. “Watch Hawk.” I dashed out of the living room and ran back up the stairs, continuing to the third floor. There were no signs of the guards that were supposed to be stationed outside of Katherine’s room. I tried the door handle, discovering that it was locked.
I cursed. “Katherine?” I called out. “Katherine, it’s Barrett.”
There wasn’t a reply. I didn’t have a spare set of keys to unlock the door so I looked around, trying to figure out what I could use to get through the door. Who knew how long Katherine had been in there. Maybe she had pulled a Jane Elliot and made a rope from the bed sheets in an attempt to escape.
There was no way I could kick in the heavy, wood door of the room. I jogged back down to the second floor, calling for Flynn. He came out of a guest bedroom, eyes bright and bloodshot.
“What is it?” he asked.
“Katherine. Have you found the guards who were guarding her?”
Flynn shook his head. “Is she still in her room?”
“I don’t know. I need the key.”
“Let’s go,” Flynn said. “I have a spare.”
Chapter 33
The room was empty. There was no sign of Katherine. Flynn checked the bathroom, came back into the bedroom, and shook his head.
It didn’t make any sense.
“Where can she be? She was locked in,” I asked.
Flynn’s eyes were bleak. “I have no idea.”
There was a noise, a shuffling of sorts, coming from the direction of the wood armoire resting against the far wall.