[Adventures of Anabel Axelrod 01.0] A Date With Fate

by Tracy Ellen

  I love my brother, but due to an accident of birth, I’ve had to listen to many different sob stories from many different women that have tried and failed to capture him. It’s one of the drawbacks of being a shop owner and available to the public ten hours a day. I can run from Reggie’s cast-off beauties, but I cannot hide. No wonder I have so many rules about men. I’m sometimes amazed I don’t bat for the other side. I guess it just goes to support the nature versus nurture part of that debate.

  I squeezed Anna’s shoulder. “If you are done being a little crybaby, I want to tell you something that could cheer you right up. It’s why I asked you those questions about your car and bra.”

  Anna snorted and gave me the evil eye while blowing her nose loudly into a tissue. She motioned for me to continue, but I was too spooked. For a second there at Anna’s expressive glance, I’d caught a terrifying glimpse of a resemblance between her and Aunt Lily.

  I shuddered and shook it off. “I believe Cheryl absolutely knew you were there at Reggie’s, or that some girl was there. That’s why she tried to kiss Reg right away and claimed to have had sex with him. Hell, she had just come from being in bed with some dude we know for sure wasn’t Reg.” I tapped my pursed lips. “Hmm. I guess it’s possible she’s a nymph-o, but I doubt she was coming over for more good lovin’ right then from my brother.” I nodded slowly. “Nope, what the skank probably wanted was a place to stay for the night. It was late and Reg was someone who popped into her head. He’s known as an easygoing guy and he’d bought her a drink the week before. The slut would think she could get what she wanted from him, right?”

  Cautiously hopeful, Anna nodded back, curious to see where I was going. I had been thinking about this for a while and the pieces fit together.

  “Okay, the skanky slut-ho’ knew she couldn’t go home to Crookie because of his voicemail saying he was divorcing her. It’s not that far to drive to the lake. I do remember Reg saying she and Tina hung around last summer a few times, don’t you? Wasn’t Tina’s boyfriend at the time helping Reg with the pontoon boat’s broken engine?”

  Anna looked thoughtful. “Yeah, now that you mention it, I do remember that. Why would the skanky slut-ho’ bitch lie though?”

  I raised my brows at Anna. “Seriously? Jesus wept, all the woman does is lie! It could be as basic as Cheryl being mad Reg wasn’t home alone for her convenience, so she started talking smack for the sheer, mean hell of it. Who knows why skanky slut-ho’ bitches do what they do?”

  Anna stared at me in stupefaction for a second. “Junior, I think you are so right! Oh boy, she did seem out of control. At the time, I was so pissed off at everything she was saying, the crazy way she acted didn’t register so much.” She sat up straight, talking faster. “She could have seen my car. I didn’t hide it, and then the bra, too. It was a hot pink, push-up! You know, one of the super duper padded on the sides and underneath for that extra lift bra?”

  On the off chance I still didn’t get it, she enthusiastically cupped her breasts and smashed them up close to her chin.

  I nodded. That type of padded bra should be certified as a lethal weapon. Not only for the miracles it performs, but it’s also incredibly heavy and stiff.

  Then Anna dropped her hands and rolled her eyes, saying with disgust, “Oh but wait, you don’t own one of those bras, do you?”

  Diverting Anna from the touchy subject of padded bras and breast size, I flipped down her visor so she could spiff up. “Here, look in the mirror.”

  I summarized while she vigorously rubbed the makeup smears off from under her eyes.

  “Okay, my brother never nailed Cheryl Crookston, you wouldn’t believe him, and he refused to swear to God. Why, you ask? Because, dear Anna, he wasn’t thinking of you as a sister anymore.” I grinned and lightly pushed her shoulder. “Hear him roar, you were his potential mate, his woman. He thought you should believe in him with no safety net or water wings. It was a test, perhaps subconsciously on his part, and a rather idiotic one, but nevertheless a test.”

  Seeing Anna’s astonished start and rounded eyes at this statement, I smiled and reassured her, “That’s right. So what did you do? You forced Reg’s manly pride and backed him into a corner. You saw his refusal to swear to God as him lying. He saw you failing his idiotic trust test. Then you took off all mad, but only after you guys fought like wolverines about it first. You were feeling crushed and played, and why not? Poor baby, that was too bad of Reg to expect blind trust from you after Eve of Destruction had done her damage and took off. Since then, the two of you have done nothing but snarl and snap every time you’ve seen each other. Did I miss anything?”

  I snapped my fingers. “Oh yeah, and then you hooked up with a new man.” I laughed in wicked delight thinking about it now. “Reggie is really all up in his manly, idiotic pride now. I bet he’s picturing you in his porno imagination doing circus sex acts with poor Jim of the undetermined package size. Now did I forget anything?”

  Anna was giggling hysterically while dabbing at her running eyes and nose. I could only hope it was with a different tissue. After a bit, she calmed down enough to peer in the little mirror to poof up her hair.

  “Great, I look like crap.” She turned an earnest gaze my way. “Do you really think that’s why he wouldn’t swear to me? I’m mate material now, not a sister?”

  “Yep, I really think you could be Playmate of the Year.”

  Anna’s horribly red-splotched face broke out in a beatific smile. “The truth is that I’ve got a boyfriend I don’t like more than a friend. I’ve barely kissed Jim. I definitely haven’t done circus sex acts with him, you dirty girl.” She grinned and hugged herself. “But I really, really, REALLY love the idea of Reggie not knowing this and being more miserable than I’ve been.”

  Anna paused to savor the thought of my brother’s jealous agony, her gaze far off. The grin turned gloating. This was why I love supporting my friends. I twiddled my thumbs patiently until she returned to reality.

  “Junior, I’ve fallen half in love with your numb nuts of a brother. He probably hates me about now. Even Aunt Lily suspects how much I like him.” She grimaced. “Did I tell you she caught me blubbering in my hysteria over him that night when I got home? Talk about a lowering moment! Can you imagine the friggin’ lecture on chasteness and jezebels I had to suffer through at one in the morning?”

  “No, and if you try to tell me, I’ll punch you in the mouth.”

  Anna started laughing, all smiles now. “Yet strangely enough, I’m happier than I have been in weeks. So yeah, I think that about covers it.”

  I grabbed my purse. “Perfect. Can we go spying now? I’m weak with hunger. I could possibly eat a small pony- should a slow one cross my path anytime soon.”

  Anna snapped the visor up, still grinning. “I’m buying. How does a Shetland sound?”

  “Hairy, but I’ll take it.”

  She giggled. “Deal, but one more thing first.”

  I whined pathetically, “What now?”

  Anna, leaning my way across the jeep, presented her face to me sideways. I gave a beleaguered sigh and leaned her way. She pressed the side of her face to mine.

  “Cheek!” we said in unison.

  Chapter IX

  “Zombie” by The Cranberries

  Saturday, 11/17/12

  3:00 PM

  After several more conversations concerning the mystery of the missing Cheryl, several more one-sided conversations about the wonder that is my brother, and several hours of walking around in St Paul, Anna and I drove home to Northfield.

  Turning into Bel’s parking lot, I cruised by an older model, white Dodge Caravan that had its motor running. The van was idling in a space near the entrance to the street. I caught a glimpse of a big man seated behind the wheel. I didn’t know the van or the man, but I absently reasoned he was waiting for someone in Bel’s, perhaps his wife.

  The lot only had two parked cars besides those I recognized as belonging to our various emplo
yees. Even on a Saturday, late afternoon could be a slow time in the store.

  I parked Lady Liberty in the garage. I glanced at my phone and saw a voicemail message from Crookie. After listening, I updated Anna.

  “Crookie reported Cheryl missing with Jack in Northfield. After that, he went to the Edina police. He knows one of the cops there; he’s the husband of a co-worker. Oh, and Crook’s coming over tomorrow night for dinner.”

  “Awesome,” Anna beamed, “it will be so nice to see him. I’m relieved there’s an official search now for Cheryl, aren’t you? I can’t stand her, but I’m really curious to find out where she’s been all this time.”

  I absently nodded my agreement. I was checking out a text message I had missed from Luke earlier in the afternoon.

  Yes. My turn.

  The meaning of the words ‘my turn’ washed over me. For a few moments, I was adrift in the seductive world of wondering what Luke might choose for his turn at a fantasy. Pornographic imaginations must run in my family. Greedy, impatient girl that I am, the next thought was how long he’d make me wait to find out. Then I laughed softly at the brevity of his text.

  Anna smiled in inquiry at my laughter. “What?”

  I slipped my phone in my purse and shook my head. “Men. You’ve gotta love ‘em.”

  Anna looked dubious. “You do?”

  Chuckling together, Anna and I toddled towards the back entrance door of the store, agonizing over who felt the most bloated from all we’d eaten. We each carried a handled bag stacked with takeout boxes from our ventures on Grand Avenue to share with our staffs.

  Anna bumped me with a shoulder and a knowing grin. “I noticed Luke’s truck is no longer parked down the street.”

  “Huh. Guess he must have finished his business in that alley.”

  Anna griped, “Oh, come on, Junior! One of these days you have to tell me something about your love life for a change.”

  “Sure, that could happen,” I agreed easily. “But I’m telling you upfront, you’ll be bored to tears. It’s not like I do nudie cake baking like some people I know.”

  Laughing, I darted out of the way of her swinging purse and ran for the back door. I happened to glance in through the glass before pulling the door open. What I saw caused me to gape in stunned shock. I stood rooted in place, unable to look away for a few frozen seconds.

  I slammed myself against the wall on the side of the door and hissed at Anna, “Quick, come over here. Don’t go in front of the door.”

  Anna ran up and backed against the wall next to me. Her eyes were huge as she took in my shocked face.

  I opened my purse and fumbled for my cell. I held up my hand before Anna could speak.

  I punched 9, saying to her, “Listen, some guy is in there and he’s got Larissa. I saw him shaking and hitting her. Stella’s up front. Everyone else I could see is okay, but the guy is screaming.” I paused to talk into my phone. “Jack, 911 at Bel’s. I think it’s a domestic. He has my employee and he’s hurting her. Stella’s in there, Jack. I saw it through the back door. Really? Where? Well, then fucking HURRY!” I threw my cell into my purse and dropped it to the ground.

  Jack was a few minutes away. There was a frat house fire by St Olaf’s. I knew my eyes were huge, too. I couldn’t seem to blink, but I was thinking furiously. I was imagining the fear and pain poor Larissa was feeling. I was filled with terror he may hurt my Stella, or our employees and customers, if he hadn’t already.

  Picturing him hurting one of my people in my bookstore brought on a wave of protective rage that shook and consumed me. I was blind with the raw power of it and couldn’t breathe. My throat felt like I had swallowed a rock and it physically hurt. I had this reaction once before in my life when an older bully was pounding on a much younger Reggie on the playground after school. The kid was years older than me and a foot taller. It hadn’t mattered then; all I saw was Reg getting creamed. I waded in, jumped on the bully’s back, and started punching his head and face. I had gotten my ass kicked.

  It didn’t matter now, either. Like I remembered from long ago, the rage ebbed, and while not gone, banked and glowed red inside me. I could breathe again. I wasn’t a kid this time. Suddenly dead calm, I was able to think clearly. I knew what I had to do.

  I unbuttoned my shirt halfway down and pulled it apart. I ran my hands through my hair, twisting it up in a loose knot and pulling down a few strands.

  “Give me your cheaters, hurry,” I ordered Anna.

  “My cheaters?” Anna repeated dazedly, but automatically opened her purse. Anna wore contacts but always carried a pair of glasses. She handed them over and I put on the black frames. I could see perfectly.

  She asked in confusion, “What are you doing, Anabel?”

  “Stay out here, okay? I promise it will be fine and you won’t get hurt. Wait for Jack. He had two 911 texts and is on his way.”

  Anna held onto me, protesting, but I shook off her arm. Hurrying over, I took a deep breath and then threw open the back door.

  I didn’t hesitate, but walked boldly, loudly into the store. I slammed the back door behind me. I threw the full bag of food I had brought in with me to the side. With a noisy clatter, it landed in the direction of the Fare.

  I started yelling at the top of my lungs and bitching out the employees.

  I saw Trent and Brenda Blackman, a part-timer working for Anna; shoot me identical, terrified glances. They’d been watching the scene unfolding in front of them at the checkout counter where Larissa was working. Trent was huddled protectively over the crying Brenda, as they stood together behind the Fare’s service bar.

  In the first seconds, I swiftly took in the three customers in the store while my eyes sought Stella. I registered relief in the back of my mind seeing her still standing near the front of the store in the Romance section. Her arms were around two elderly ladies that were leaning on her, bug-eyed with fright. Even from this far, I could tell Stella was also scared to death.

  I quickly scanned the whole floor while continuing my screaming tirade. I strode up the side aisle in a loud, heel-clomping walk with my revealed breasts thrust out, my hips swaying, and my hair tumbling down around my face. I strode towards where I knew Larissa and the man were. I hadn’t looked at them directly yet, but I could plainly hear Larissa’s soft, pained cries. The enormous wall of cold rage inside me was demanding to be let loose and kill something.

  Since the minute I had thrown the bag of food towards the Fare, I had been sizing up the store while screaming nonstop like a drill sergeant in the loudest voice I’ve ever used.

  “WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALL STANDING AROUND NOT WORKING? I LEAVE THE STORE FOR AN HOUR AND THIS IS WHAT YOU SLACKERS GET UP TO? HOW DARE YOU NOT WORK HARD WHILE I AM OUT TRYING TO DRUM UP BUSINESS, SO YOU CAN KEEP YOUR JOBS AND GET PAID!”

  Everyone’s attention was now on me in horrified bewilderment. I noticed Billy with a petrified, elderly woman on the opposite side of the store in Sci-Fi.

  I made my eyes pass over Larissa and the man next to her for only a brief second without stopping. They were on my side of the aisle. I continued my blistering, tyrannical raving directed at the staff’s ungrateful lack of work ethics and brains.

  I was only three yards away now from Larissa. The man who had been holding her in a tight, punishing grip by her upper arm was not tall. He was wide but not muscled, and carried an extra thirty pounds in a gut. He was much older than Larissa, easily in his forties. He had the red-veined nose of a drinker and his dark hair was oily and thinning. If he had ever been attractive in his youth, those days were long past. His eyes were close set and he looked rat-faced mean and vicious, just like you’d expect a wife beater to look.

  I had his full attention, too. He had turned to face me, now only loosely holding onto Larissa’s right arm. I saw the slack-jawed surprise on his face at my yelling like a Nazi boss on steroids. Then he zeroed in on my unbuttoned blouse showing off considerable cleavage. I do not need a padded bra. Only a few seconds h
ad passed since I burst shouting into the store and he still appeared too confused to even form a sentence. He was as stupid as I’d expected.

  I saw Larissa’s swollen, vacant eyes and a puffy redness swelling around her mouth. I saw blood smeared on her lip and chin. Then I saw everything glaringly outlined in front of my eyes through a red film of indescribable fury. I didn’t stop as I strode forward the last couple of yards, quickening my step to almost a trot.

  I ignored the man and yelled, pointing at Larissa. “I KNEW IT WAS A MISTAKE TO HIRE YOU! YOU ARE WORTHLESS! LOOK AT YOU, JUST STANDING THERE WHEN THIS MAN NEEDS YOUR HELP. GET BACK TO WORK, YOU IDIOT, OR YOU ARE FIRED! DO YOU HEAR ME? I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN!”

  With my peripheral vision, I was aware of the spread of a dawning smile on the man’s face at my screaming words to Larissa.

  I was two feet away.

  I moved forward while looking up and pointing at the ceiling. “LOOK UP THERE! OH MY GOD, LOOK, LOOK!”

  Positively shrieking the last ‘LOOK’, I knew with an unquestioning certainty that everyone in my store was anxiously looking up to where I was pointing on the ceiling. All of them full of confusion.

  Without hesitation, I took full advantage of the confusion my abusive, screaming tirade had caused. With all the momentum of my skipping trot behind my left leg, and with many years of playing soccer and kick ball rising to the surface, I kicked the distracted fucker square up in his scrotum with my steel-toed, booted foot.

  When Larissa’s abuser dropped to the floor, cupping himself while rolling, retching, and screaming in agony, I heard myself screaming, too. I hopped on my right leg, arms out straight for balance, and I kicked him again as hard as I could. Then I kicked him again and again, over and over.