Lights, Camera, Disaster
Page 16
MAXIMUM EVIL
(leaning against the counter)
He already has.
PROFESSOR D. STROYER
(off camera)
Ready the serum, Max.
MAXIMUM EVIL pours the blue liquid from the beaker into a small glass, measuring carefully.
PROFESSOR D. STROYER
(continuing)
This mind control serum will make an entire population of teens ready to do my bidding. Their parents will be in danger. Their money will be mine. And I will have an army!
AGENT SATCHEL
(yawns)
All that’s missing from that speech is a gleeful cackle. You are so lame.
PROFESSOR D. STROYER
(voice-over)
I am NOT lame!
AGENT SATCHEL
(shrugs)
Whatever. It’s like bad spy movie writing. Seriously, this is the best you can come up with?
PROFESSOR D. STROYER
(sputtering)
YOU are lame!
MAXIMUM EVIL finishes his measuring and has the blue serum in a small cup. He takes out a syringe and sucks the serum into it.
AGENT SATCHEL
You’re not sticking me with that.
PROFESSOR D. STROYER
You’re right. We’re not.
(to MAX)
Proceed.
MAXIMUM EVIL steps forward with the syringe.
CLOSE-UP: It’s not a needle at the end, but a hooked straw-type device. He’s going to put it in AGENT SATCHEL’s ear.
AGENT SATCHEL whips her head from side to side. With one arm trying to hold her head, and the other the syringe, MAXIMUM EVIL struggles. The syringe goes flying.
PROFESSOR D. STROYER
(off camera)
You fool!
MAXIMUM EVIL
(turning his back on AGENT SATCHEL to get the syringe)
You could help me instead of watching!
CUT TO: A shot of the back of AGENT SATCHEL’s chair. She’s been rubbing the tape around her wrists against a screw sticking out from the chair frame, and she breaks free. When MAXIMUM EVIL’s back is turned, she reaches over to the lab equipment and throws the blue beaker of serum off camera, toward PROFESSOR D. STROYER. He howls.
MAXIMUM EVIL turns around. AGENT SATCHEL, her legs still taped to the chair at the ankles, is standing. She launches herself at MAXIMUM EVIL and takes him down, squirting the blue liquid in his face.
PROFESSOR D. STROYER AND MAXIMUM EVIL
(in unison, monotone voices)
What is your bidding?
AGENT SATCHEL
(grinning)
Sign my late pass and get me out of here.
ACT III
Scene 1
INT. Back in AGENT SATCHEL’s office. Only this time, MAXIMUM is in there with her. We also see the brown shoes and dark pants of PROFESSOR D. STROYER. His body is off camera.
AGENT SATCHEL sits at her computer, watching the puppy video.
MAXIMUM EVIL
(looking over her shoulder)
They’re so cute!
AGENT SATCHEL
I know, right?
PROFESSOR D. STROYER
(off camera)
May I look?
AGENT SATCHEL
Are you finished writing?
PROFESSOR D. STROYER
(silence)
CUT TO: A stack of papers on a small table. PROFESSOR D. STROYER’s arm is in the shot, holding a pen. Written over and over on the papers are the words “I will use my scientific knowledge for good” in a numbered list. He’s up to number 742.
PROFESSOR D. STROYER
Not yet.
AGENT SATCHEL
Then you may not.
(turns back to the puppy video)
Suddenly, an alert pops up on the screen.
ZOOM IN: Close-up on monitor, over their shoulders.
We read:
ALERT! ALERT! The evil Mr. Flee Bag is posing as a doctor at an animal hospital. He is planning mayhem and destruction, but we don’t know what kind.
Your mission, Agent Satchel, is to sneak into the hospital with your team, pretending to be a vet tech and pet owners, and find out what Flee Bag is up to. When you find out, use your judgment and neutralize the threat.
This message will delete in four seconds.
A bomb emoji sizzles in the corner of the message. We see a countdown, hear a small pop, and the alert disappears. It’s back to puppies.
AGENT SATCHEL
(to MAXIMUM EVIL)
Now that you’re part of my team, you need a new name.
MAXIMUM EVIL
How about MAXIMUM GOOD?
AGENT SATCHEL
(nods)
Consider it done. Now, let’s get to work.
AGENT SATCHEL and MAXIMUM GOOD high-five.
FADE TO BLACK.
TITLE CARD:
AGENT SATCHEL and MAXIMUM GOOD will return …
END
Writing a novel takes almost as large a crew as making a movie does. I couldn’t have told Hess’s story without these amazing people supporting this book along the way:
My agent, Sally Harding, who patiently worked with me on getting this manuscript ready.
My editor, Erin Black, who took to Hess’s story with enthusiasm and insight, providing invaluable feedback. Cover designer Mary Claire Cruz, production editor Rachel Gluckstern, and copyeditor Beka Wallin, for making sure the book looks good and reads well. Any errors are mine.
My critique group: Gary Crespo, Heather Hubbard, Wendy McDonald, Megan Mullin, Phoebe Sinclair, and Annette Trossello, who reviewed more drafts of this than I can count.
Technical advisors Stephanie Gorin and Ron DiRito, both of whom reviewed this manuscript with an eye toward film and video details. Mistakes and liberties are all mine.
Expert readers Penelope McDonald and Emma McDonald, for their help with authentic tween voice. And for help understanding EFD and how families work with that diagnosis: Kristen Wixted, Sarah Prineas, and Theo Prineas. Cheryl Klein, for championing this manuscript and offering excellent suggestions, advice, and feedback. Writing buddy Nancy Werlin, for providing unflagging encouragement every step of the way. And to Pam Scafati, who named the Hoot.
Finally, I cannot offer enough thanks and love for my husband, Frank, who manages everything while I write, and for Charlotte and Harker, who keep me laughing and always ask for stories. We got the movie made.
Erin Dionne is the author of five other books for kids, some of which are funny (such as The Total Tragedy of a Girl Named Hamlet), and some of which are mysteries/adventures (such as Moxie and the Art of Rule Breaking). Like Hess, Erin loves action movies, especially Star Wars and The Avengers. Wonder Woman is her favorite superhero. She lives outside Boston with her husband, two kids, and a very disgruntled dog. Visit her online at erindionne.com.
Text copyright © 2018 by Erin Dionne
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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available
ISBN 978-1-338-13408-7
First edition, April 2018
Jacket art and design by Mary Claire Cruz
Author photo by Aran Gilmore
e-ISBN 978-1-338-13410-0
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