Forced Out of the Darkness

by Jackson Jr, G. Wayne

  Monti turned on the shower while he waited on it to warm up, he brushed his teeth. He took a quick shower, changed and was back out the door in fifteen minutes. “Damn.” Cameron thought. “I didn’t get a kiss goodbye. Oh well, maybe he was running late. I am sure he will call later.” Cameron spent the morning thinking about the status of this situation with Monti. He knew that he liked him and he wanted to know more. He did not know how this was going to go. While thinking about Monti, Cameron remembered he got a text last night so he got his phone to respond back to it. He search and searched but he could not find the message. He began to get upset because he knew he did not delete the message but he could not find it. “Why would he go through my phone?” He thought.

  He didn’t want to just jump in a relationship without thinking things through. He wanted to have a conversation with Monti. Cameron knew this has only been going on for about a week but he wanted to make sure that the two of them were on the same sheet of music. He needed to clarify the nature of this relationship.

  “Good Afternoon, Monti.”

  “Hey Cam, how are you?”

  “I am doing well here. I was calling to see what you had planned the rest of the day?”

  “Nothing much. I needed to go to the gym and had nothing planned after that.”

  “Do you think you could swing a 5:30 pm movie, followed by dinner? I want to go see Basic Instinct 2, you ok with that choice?”

  “Sure man, you know I will make time to hang out with you. It is 3:00 pm now. I’ll cut my workout short and meet you there.”

  “I will meet you at the Star Theaters in Southfield at 5:15 pm, cool?”

  “Great.”

  “Monti, may I ask you a question?”

  “Sure ask me anything.”

  “Something has been bothering me. Did you go through my phone last night?”

  “No, why would you think I’d do something like that?” He lied.

  “I got a text from a buddy of mine last night. When I went respond to it this morning, it was gone.”

  “No, I didn’t see your phone. Plus when would I have had the time to do something like that?” Monti said trying to deflate Cameron’s thoughts.

  “I don’t know when but I just know it is not there. But if you say you didn’t do it, I just have to accept it.” Cameron knew Monti had done something but could not prove it. He decided to put a password on the phone from now on because he did not want Monti going through his stuff again. It wasn’t that Cameron had anything to hide but violating his privacy was not something that Cameron would accept.

  “So, I’ll see you at the movies?” Monti asked cautiously.

  “Yes, see you there.”

  Cameron hung up the phone. He was upstairs packing for his trip the next day. He went to Amsterdam about 6 times a month so it was like a second home for him. He had to stop by the store and get some items to restock his overseas locker. Cameron loved Amsterdam and Europe in general because of the free spirit that many Europeans had.

  Cameron remembered talking to a Dutch guy he met in Amsterdam one day. They were talking about how gay people in the United States were so far behind in gaining their rights. Cameron was frustrated at the state of the American public. His buddy told him, “there is no need to be upset; America is just a baby. It has only been around here for about 200 years which is nothing compared to the 700 years that Amsterdam had been in existence.” This made sense to Cameron and he knew that he had to be patient.

  Cameron finished packing and looked down at his watch to see that it was 4:47pm. He had to get out of the house to meet Monti at the movies.

  Chapter Sixteen

  s hameful darkness

  Monti and Cameron came out the movie theater and were talking about the movie as they made their way to the restaurant for dinner.

  “What did you think about the movie?” Cameron asked.

  “It was ok. I found it hard to see Sharon Stone naked at fifty years old.”

  “Are you sure it was because she was fifty or was it because she was a woman?”

  “Being a woman doesn’t bother me. I still like women. I just like guys more.”

  “You are bisexual?” Cameron asked a little confused.

  “Yes, but I prefer guys because they don’t have all that other drama.”

  “You mean to tell me that you only like men because of the drama? Gay men have drama too. What do you mean by that?”

  “No, not only because of the drama aspect. I am attracted to guys but I like a masculine guy who is cool in public and all that. I like those non-clockable guys.”

  “You do know I am an openly gay man, right?”

  “Yes, I know about that but you are just sexy as hell. You are masculine and feminine at the same time and it is sexy. You ain’t one of those faggotty guys who think they are woman and have to be mad at the world.”

  “I know right. Why do women always seem like they are mad at the world for no reason.” Cameron said.

  “Cameron you know they mad because they can’t find a man. Then they see you and me and are mad because we are two sexy men that don’t want them.” They both laughed knowing that there was some truth to Monti’s statement. “I can’t wait for them to bring our food because a brother is hungry. I did not eat because I knew we were going out to eat after the movies.”

  “I know, me too. Monti tell me, what is this that we have going on? What do you want out of this? Where do we go from here?”

  “I want a boo. I want a guy to call my own. I don’t want to share him. I want to grow old with him. If it ever becomes legal, I eventually want to marry him.”

  “You want to get married? How do you plan on doing that as a DL guy?”

  “If I am with the right guy, I can work on being out of the closet at that time but that is just a goal I have.”

  “You want to get married to say you are married or because you are in love?”

  “Because I am in love with the guy I am with. They have to be up front and honest. No cheating and be committed to me only.”

  “I feel you.” Cameron said in agreement.

  “I am really feeling you Cameron. You seem to be cool peeps with none of that extra stuff. You are a church going guy who stays to yourself. You don’t go out and get into that faggotry stuff.”

  “Are we seeing each other?”

  “Yeah, something like that. I am seeing you exclusively right now, because I want to see what this can be. What about you?

  “I am cool with seeing where this goes. I am not dating anyone else seriously.”

  “That is cool. Question for you…because we are seeing how this goes, when are you going to delete your Adam4Adam account?”

  “When we become partners and are in a committed relationship, I will have no problems doing that.”

  “That is where this is leading. I am going to be committed to you so I hope you will be with me also.” Monti said. Monti chose to ignore the demons he was facing. He wanted to stress Cameron’s fidelity but didn’t want to address his secret midnight rendezvous.

  “Let’s see how this pans out. If we ultimately end up making a commitment with each other, I will delete my account.” Cameron stated.

  “Ok, cool.”

  The two of them ate their dinner and enjoyed light conversation. The night was coming to an end when Monti asked, “When you get back on Saturday, can you come over to my place?”

  “Sure, just give me your address and I’ll come by after I change and freshen up.”

  Monti gave Cameron the address and they gave each other the brother daps and went their separate ways.

  Once Cameron got home, he revisited the conversation from the night and thought about what Monti’s dreams and aspirations was as far as relationships were concerned. Though his mind was racing he was able to go to sleep. Monti on the other hand was in bed but was far from sleep. “I hope that he ain’t doing nothing behind my back.” He thought. “What if he is playing me like a fool?” Monti was w
ound up with a head full of questions fueled by his insecurities. His demons were getting the best of him, which caused his stress level to rise. He was wired up and needed to defuse. The only way that he knew how to defuse was to release his self in a sexual manner. He didn’t want to call Cameron because he had a long flight in the morning. He also didn’t want to look needy so he did what was natural to him.

  It was 11:05 pm, as Monti got into his Jeep and headed to his spot, Palmer Park. He knew he would be able to find someone cruising the park looking for some dick to suck. He drove the thirty-minute drive to the park and parked his Jeep on the street. He crossed the street and made a beeline to the darkness of Palmer Park’s wooded area. Palmer Park was a known spot for guys to cruise. The park lacked any artificial lighting. The light of the streetlights faded as he passed a couple of guys on their way out of the darkness. There was no verbal communication between most of the guys, in this scene non-verbal communications prevailed. They spoke to each other through a series of head nods, long eye stares and groping their crotches or licking their lips or other sexual gestures.

  Monti saw a tall dark-skinned man who looked like he was in his mid-forties. He was frail looking but his mannerisms told Monti that he was a sissy. As he walked in Monti’s direction, the man looked Monti up and down, then licked his lips like his had just ate his momma’s fried chicken. He was thirsty but wasn’t what Monti wanted. Monti continued to navigate his way into the woods. The next guy he saw was what the Black Gay community called a dinge queen. Dinge queens are white guys that love serving ‘black cock’. Monti was immediately turned off. He kept walking.

  Next Monti got the attention of a balled-headed caramel colored black guy that was about 5’10”. He was pigeon-toed and walked with his ass turned-up. He smiled as Monti moved towards him. Monti did the head tilt, to say, “What’s up?”

  He responded, “Nothing, Daddy.”

  “You got a nice ass.” Monti commented.

  “This is platinum.” He said matter-of-factly.

  Monti came in closer to him to let him feel the stiffness in his pants. He was hard and ready to release. He hoped this guy knew what he was doing. The guy began to stroke Monti’s stiffness through his pants.

  “Umm, I am sure that I can handle that dick, Daddy.”

  “How ‘bout you show me instead of telling me.”

  The guy he unzipped Monti’s pants. He put his hand into his pants; he could feel the heat of Monti’s engorged manhood. Monti was swollen and leaking pre-cum. The excitement of the anonymity got to Monti. They looked into each other’s eyes. Monti put his hands on the guy’s shoulders, pushing him down to his knees before Monti’s swollen sex. The guy put Monti’s thick manhood in his mouth.

  Monti closed his eyes as he felt the warmth wetness of a seemingly experienced dick sucker. This guy was slurping and moaning as he stroked his own meat. He used his tongue to lick up and down Monti’s shaft. He gave Monti’s head extra attention trying to make him weak in the knees. Monti put his hands on the guy’s head as he began to roll his hips in a slow rhythmic motion. He was long stroking this dudes mouth. He pushed his manhood in the guy’s mouth until he choked. Monti felt like the man, when he could make a guy choke. The sensations got better as Monti began to speed up his pelvic thrusts. He knew he was close to his release.

  “Where you want this nutt?” Monti asked with lust in his voice.

  “Down my throat, Daddy.” He responded submissively.

  Monti felt his nuts tensing up and he knew he was close. The guy sucked even harder trying to work Monti’s jism out. Monti’s breathing began to become guttural and labored as he said, “Suck my dick, Bitch.” Monti was in the moment. He did not care about this faggot who was serving him. He made it apparent that he was just a tool. “Yeah, that’s right you nasty fucker, suck that dick like you love it.” Monti was ready. He grabbed the guy’s head tightly and with one final thrust, he exploded into his anonymous partners mouth. He could feel the guys gag reflex trying to fight the invasion of Monti’s sex. After a few seconds of fight, his throat relaxed allowing him to swallow every drop as his moans were stifled by Monti’s stiffness. He moaned one last time loudly as he shot his own load on the ground.

  “Thanks, Daddy.” He said trying to catch his breath.

  “Yeah, whatever man.” Monti said as he zipped his pants up and walked away.

  “What made me have to do this?” Monti thought as he headed back to his Jeep to go home. Why was he not able to quench the urges of his demons? Monti felt weak and powerless as the shame of his actions set in on him. He felt almost suffocated by the heaviness of his shame. Once he made it home he took a hot shower, in hopes of washing the filth of the shame down the drain.

  Chapter Seventeen

  a n Unfamiliar Familiarity

  Cameron had an uneventful flight to Amsterdam. He was in the lobby of their layover hotel waiting to check in with the rest of the crew. Once he got his room key, he stopped to get a sandwich and soda at the deli in the lobby of the hotel, before heading up to his room. His room was a decent sized room with the traditional white Dutch down feather comforter. The furniture was modern but classy. He set his luggage on the luggage rack and turned on the television. Cameron took off his uniform and hung it up in the closet. He was a closeted nudist that loved to be unrestricted when he was in his own private space. Cameron took a quick shower to get the airplane residue off his body and then came back and sat on the chair to enjoy his sandwich while catching up on the latest news from the BBC. He could not understand Dutch well enough to watch the local channels, so MTV and BBC became his friend.

  When he was finished, he realized that it was just about 10:00 am and he began to feel his eyes getting heavy. He pulled the room darkening curtains so that he could get some sleep and got in the bed. One of the flight attendants on his crew wanted to hang out later tonight after the crew met for dinner. Cameron did not know where Manny was going to take him but he was told to have an open mind, whatever that meant?

  At about 4:00 pm, the phone in Cameron’s room rang. It was Manny making sure that Cameron was awake and getting dressed. The crew decided to go to ‘Drag Thai’, which is a restaurant in the Red Light District that is known for both their food and their servers, who are lady boys. They all met at 5:00 pm and went as a group to the restaurant. The food was good. Cameron was not uncomfortably full, but just right to last him through the night. Some of the crew had other plans to go to bars and drink but Cameron and Manny were soon on their way to this place called the Cuckoo’s Nest. The two of them had flown together before, but this was their first time flying to Amsterdam together. They walked down the main street, past Dam Square, they made small talk. Manny told Cameron that the bar had a dark room in the basement and the rule of the place is that you must buy a drink before you can go downstairs.

  Cameron was following Manny who was also in his early thirties. Manny was born and raised in Puerto Rico. He had dark Latin features and he still had a deep Puerto Rican accent even though his family moved to Brooklyn when he was 9 years old. “It’s just around the corner, Papi.” They turned the corner and made their way into the bar, bought a drink and sat at the bar. They were enjoying conversation with another patron when the traffic at the stairwell caught Cameron’s attention. Cameron realized that people were going downstairs. He watched guys of all ages, shapes, colors and sizes. Cameron’s curiosity got the best of him especially when he saw a fine sexy mixed guy go down the stairs.

  “You want me to go with you?” Manny asked.

  “No, I am good. If you want to go you can but I am a big boy.”

  Cameron took his drink and walked over to the stairs. The staircase was steep but Cameron took the first step as he descended to the depths of what would become his 1st step into sexual freedom and exploration. He took all thirteen steps. As he reached the bottom step, he could smell the stuffy air that was mixed with sexually charged pheromones. The lighting was different down in the baseme
nt. The light was primarily coming from the televisions showing various forms of gay porn. Even though the light was scarce, Cameron knew that he saw two figures kneeling in what resembled a janitor’s washroom. The thing that made Cameron know that it was not a washroom was the three men standing before them penis exposed and urine emptying onto the guys kneeling in the trough. They seemed to be enjoying a man pissing on them.

  Around the corner from the watersport urinal was an open area that had guys huddled up in various areas having private conversations. There were two televisions in this area that were showing porn. There were also cushions on top of vinyl covered blocks where guys were sitting down. There was no sound coming from the televisions but there was music in the room from upstairs. Directly across from this area, there were a series of cabins, with doors, that could fit up to two guys. Some of the rooms had waist-level holes cut out of the wall to the adjacent cabin allowing one to reach from one room to the next. Some of the cabins had doors closed and others had men lurking in the darkness watching other guys pass by. One particular guy was in a cabin and said something to a passing guy. The guy stopped just inside the cabin. They looked each other over, grabbed each other’s crotch and closed the door behind him.

  Just past the cabins was an 8x9 room with a square shaped bed. There was no bedding on the bed, but it also had a vinyl cushion that resembled a mattress. On top of this mattress, was a naked man blindfolded, on all fours, with his ass in the air. Another man in leather pants with suspenders, tight leather shirt, a leather tie with what looked like a police captain’s hat on, was standing behind the naked guy. He had some white cream that he was getting out of a bucket and putting on his hands like he was putting on lotion. What happened next made Cameron wince.