Morning Star

by Marian Wells

  John Lee got to his feet to leave and then turned to Mark. “How do you feel about all this talk of Joseph running for president of the United States?”

  “I guess I haven’t heard enough to give it much thought,” Mark said slowly.

  Joseph came stomping into the office, shaking snow from his clothes. “Well, the High Council’s just started pressuring me to throw my hat into the ring. I couldn’t take them seriously for a time. Seems now I’ll have to, just to keep peace among the brethren.” He chuckled and threw himself into Mark’s chair.

  “First off, there’s a need to get feelers out. I intend to send out letters to every candidate and see just how they’ll stand on the Mormon question. Mark, that’s where I’ll need your help. I need a little touch of culture to the whole affair. If it doesn’t go any further than raising a little dust, at least by the time it’s all over, Congress will see we’re a force that merits respect and recognition.”

  “Joseph,” Mark argued mildly, “you can’t raise enough votes to do anything except make a fool of yourself.”

  “I intend to claim two hundred thousand. With the converts we’re adding to the church, I’m certain of this number.” He jumped to his feet and headed out of the room.

  “There’s less than twelve thousand people living right in Nauvoo,” Mark objected.

  He looked at John D. Lee’s long face as he started to leave Mark’s office. “Here I go again,” he muttered. “I can see me stomping. It’s hard enough to preach the gospel out there without a cent to keep me going, not to mention the ridicule I get. But to go out there and build up Joseph for president of the United States with the kind of reputation he has . . .” He was still shaking his head when he closed the door behind himself.

  Mark was still sitting at his desk, staring at Joseph’s papers and thinking, when the Prophet returned to his office. “By the way, Mark, gird up your loins. Within the next month or so the organization of the Council of Fifty will get off the ground. I want you in it, and I won’t take no for an answer.”

  Mark looked up at him. “I was just sitting here wondering what other mountain you’ll climb. President of the United States . . .” He paused to shake his head and then held up his fingers. “At this time you are mayor of Nauvoo, judge of the municipal court, merchant of the biggest store in town, hotel-keeper, head of the temple building committee, real estate agent, contractor; you handle the recording of deeds in town; you own a steamboat; you are the sole trustee for the financial affairs of the church, lieutenant-general of the Nauvoo Legion, spiritual advisor, and head of the church.”

  “You can’t guess what will be next?” Joseph chuckled, “Stay close, Mark, you’ll see. You know the Lord has willed this church to be spread around the world. I aim to see that happen.”

  “You’re an ambitious man, Joseph.”

  “I have my failings. But I’m also a tried man. There’s a constant warfare between the two natures of man.”

  “Do you believe the Lord wants that?” Mark asked. “The Bible says we are to live above sin, to not be entangled in the things that hold us slaves to sin.”

  “Every man has equal chance at salvation. It is true, however, that some men have a greater capacity of improving their minds and controlling their passions through denying unrighteousness and cultivating the principles of purity. We all have our free agency. It lies with the power of mankind to rise above and claim eternal life—if only man will be faithful to God’s will and obey the priesthood in these last days.”

  That evening when Mark reached home, Jenny was at the door to meet him. She brushed snow from him and anxiously searched his face. “Did . . . did—how was your day?”

  “Fine. Uneventful, unless you consider it exciting to hear the Prophet threaten to blow up the steamboats in the harbor and admit he’s considering running for the office of president of the United States.”

  Jenny stared at him for a moment and then slowly said, “I knew you would be tired; I milked the cows.”

  Chapter 35

  It was a bright February day. The clouds were scooting across the sky like kites and the air was filled with the smells of spring. Jenny spent the day airing bedding and washing linens. A new lamb wobbled in the pasture and she carried John Mark out to see the little creature.

  Loath to return to her kitchen tasks, she lingered at the pasture fence, balancing the baby and letting the wind rip through her hair. What a sense of freedom the blithe wind gave!

  Watching the air billow her skirt and apron, she closed her eyes and pretended she was a kite. John Mark drooled on her neck and she laughed at him. “You will remind me that I’m only your dinner ticket! But that’s all right.” She fell to musing over the contrasts in her life.

  The thoughts made Jenny shiver. Less than two years ago she had been Jenny the witch. Closing her eyes she contemplated the darkness of that time, measuring it by thinking her way back into the pattern of that life, with its promises and desires.

  She considered the charms, even the talisman. “Is it possible?” she gasped. “Was I really like that?” For a moment she clung to the thought of the talisman. She had told Tom she regretted getting rid of it, for one reason—Mark. As she thought of their early love, she began to yearn for the power the talisman had given. “Face it, Jenny,” she whispered. “Without that talisman, Mark would have never married you.”

  For a long time Jenny stared out across the pasture, scarcely aware of the pattern of bright green and yellow. When, with a sigh, she turned toward the house, she was caught up short. The weather-beaten house seemed tiny and dismal, but instead of the peeling gray paint she saw sharp views of the life it had sheltered for nearly three years now.

  “Then there were two, now there are three. Then there was Jenny the witch, now—” Abruptly she recalled Mark’s face. Did the light in his eyes, the tender smile, tell her something about herself that she had failed to see?”

  With her eyes closed she considered herself now—the questions, the Bible. Now her eyes popped open, recalling: “The Lord is my shepherd; . . . I lie down in green pastures: I am come that they might have life, more abundantly. Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God. For God so loved that he gave his Son. For by grace are ye saved through faith, the gift of God.” John Mark pressed his head against her and she opened her eyes and smiled down at him. And then in a moment the sweet peace of the words moved away from her.

  “Beautiful words,” she whispered, “but I don’t understand them. God, are You there listening? Please—”

  With a troubled sigh she turned and walked to the house. The thoughts contained in that Book were bigger than life and beyond her understanding. But even worse than not being able to understand were all the fearful things Joseph had threatened.

  In the pasture the mare whinnied and she looked toward the road. A buggy was coming, moving rapidly down the lane toward her. She waited, fearful and uneasy, then her eyes widened. It was William and Jane Law. As they got out of the buggy, William appeared troubled. “Come in,” she said slowly.

  “Is Mark at home?”

  “No, but he will be soon. I’ll fix some tea for us.”

  As soon as Jenny placed John Mark on the floor, he began to cry. Jane Law picked him up and carried him into the parlor.

  The teakettle was throwing steam into the air and Jenny was placing cups and saucers beside the plate of cookies when Mark walked in. She heard the surprise in his voice as he welcomed the Laws.

  Just as she carried the tea tray into the parlor, William offered Mark a newspaper, saying, “Have you seen this?”

  “No, I haven’t.”

  William read aloud: “‘You and your followers have considered yourselves a separate nation just as much as any foreign nation. Because of this, and because your tribe indicates a desire to cast off all ties relative to the government, while at the same time you take it upon yourself to create a new one more to your liking, we consider this action treason.’ This is
the Warsaw Signal, February 15, 1844.” While the men were still looking at each other, William spoke again. “You know Joseph has supported his own ideas by saying any people trying to govern themselves under laws of their own making are in direct rebellion against the kingdom of God.”

  Slowly Mark said, “We find ourselves, by following the Nauvoo Charter, being regarded as guilty of treason.”

  William Law added the next thought. “Yet to fail to do so puts us in jeopardy of our souls.”

  Mark continued, “If, in fact, the Nauvoo Charter is God’s will.”

  William Law took a deep breath and said, “Nearly a year ago I approached Joseph and accused him of engaging in practices which the Christian church has always regarded as iniquity. I challenged him to reform himself and the doctrine he is pushing on the church. I tried to force him into confessing his sins and cleaning up the church, with the threat that I would reveal his acts to the world if he failed to do so. He refused.”

  Mark said heavily, “We’d all guessed you and the Prophet were having troubles, particularly when he referred to you as the Judas. What are you going to do about this?”

  “I don’t know, Mark. It deeply troubles me.”

  “Have you considered leaving the church?”

  Jenny saw the way both of the Laws reacted to the question. William said, “Mark, I blame most of these troubles on Dr. John Bennett. Joseph isn’t a false prophet. I believe he’s fallen from grace and I’ll do anything in my power to help him and restore truth and integrity to the church. But leave? I can’t, for the sake of my soul.”

  Mark leaned forward. “I wish I could persuade you otherwise. From reading the Bible, seeing the promise of salvation through Jesus Christ, I believe Joseph is deluded, walking completely away from the biblical foundation of truth and righteousness in Jesus Christ. With all my heart I would like to see you, and others who feel the same, leave.”

  “What about you?”

  “Someday, but not now.”

  “Mark!” The exclamation burst from Jenny and he turned to look at her. His eyes were pleading but she felt only the sensation of being wind-tossed away from a sure foundation.

  William admitted, “There are others like us—a group who have reason to be unhappy and uneasy under Joseph’s changing role. Mark, we want you to meet with us and let’s attempt to find a solution to the problem. It isn’t to be a gripe session, although one purpose will be candor with each other. None of us realizes the depths to which the other has suffered under the controls Joseph has put upon us. Will you come next week to the meeting at Higbee’s store? Bring your wife and son.”

  When the Laws stood to leave, William said, “You realize, don’t you, that these problems won’t be resolved immediately? We may be months hearing grievances and trying to come to a solution.”

  Slowly Mark said, “I honestly wonder if we will have that much time.” He tapped the newspaper William held.

  ****

  It was Relief Society day. The mild February weather encouraged Jenny to make the trip into town. “Three months since we’ve been to meeting,” Jenny informed the laughing John Mark as she bundled him and tied him to the seat beside her. He crowed with delight as the mare smartly clipped off the miles into town.

  At meeting, Jenny had just settled down with her quilt block when Sally came into the room. Jenny waved at her friend and made room for her on the bench. “You’re looking poorly; you’ve lost weight,” she whispered with a worried frown. Sally nodded without answering. Jenny watched her slowly assemble her quilt block and began to stitch.

  Jenny leaned forward to whisper, “You caught?”

  Sally’s eyebrows lifted but she shook her head. “Just feeling poorly. Like I can hardly drag.”

  “Why don’t you come home with me? I’ll fix supper for us all and you can rest.”

  Sally shook her head. “Tamara. She’ll be out of school before Andy’s home. You come to us.”

  Sally continued to answer in monosyllables. Feeling more compelled than curious, Jenny followed Sally home.

  When she saw the disarray of Sally’s house, Jenny turned to Sally with a worried frown. “I think you are very ill, or there’s something desperately wrong somewhere. Will you please talk to me?”

  Jenny saw the tears in Sally’s eyes and put her arms around her. “Oh, Jenny, it’s really nothing I can put my finger on. It’s just life is so—” She paused to rub at her eyes and then tried to smile. “Jen, I’ve everything a woman could possibly want, yet . . . I’m in the true church, and we’re both living up to our religion. I have a beautiful daughter, a nice home . . .” Her voice trailed away and she moved away from Jenny.

  “You tried suicide last year and now you’re scarcely living. I suppose I shouldn’t pry, but thinking of last year, I’m afraid to not insist you talk.” Sally’s hands trembled as she mopped at her eyes.

  Jenny took charge. “Go sit in that rocking chair. Here, rock John Mark. He’s nursed and ready for sleep. I’m going to make things a little brighter around here.”

  She nudged Sally toward the chair and turned to shove the teakettle to the front of the stove. “I’m going to boil some eggs for you. Where’s the bread?”

  After Sally had eaten, she allowed Jenny to lead her upstairs. “Now you stay there until you sleep. I’m going to sweep the floor and wash the dishes.”

  While Jenny had her hands in the dishwater, washing the piles of dirty dishes stacked around the kitchen, she began to think.

  Sally was living up to her religion. Jenny recalled how she’d always admired and envied the composed, elegant Sally—the woman who looked as if she’d never sinned in her life.

  But at the picnic last August Sally had confessed her problem to Jenny. Jenny’s hands moved slowly in the water.

  With a sigh she said, “Seems if the Lord were in this marrying, Sally should feel like the most holy woman in town. Seems, too, I should feel differently about Joseph’s proposal to me.” Sally had the witness of the rightness of the marriage. Knowing should have taken care of the guilt.

  Jenny addressed the ceiling. “Seems, God, You ought to have been able to take care of her guilt. She’s feeling so bad about the situation. If she’s got guilt, I sure don’t want this to happen to me. But what about John Mark? Seems, God, I’m getting to the place where I don’t want to have anything to do with being holy. I just can’t forget the promises Mark and I made. When it comes right down to it, I just guess I don’t want to be a queen of heaven.”

  She was scrubbing the pot, crusty with burned-on food, when she looked ceilingward again. “If there’s another way on earth to settle my eternity without displeasing You, I’d jump in a minute. Right now the biggest problem I have on my mind is how to make certain my little baby isn’t left out.”

  Jenny found a chunk of meat and some vegetables. By the time she had the meat browned and the vegetables peeled and snugged around the roast, she had managed to shove aside her own needs. Sally’s were critical.

  When John Mark began to cry and Sally came into the kitchen with him, Jenny had found the Bible. She took the baby and sat in the rocker. Sally sat at the table and touched the Bible.

  “Is that your solution to it all?”

  Jenny chewed her lip, wondering how much she could force herself to say. “Sally, religion isn’t working for either one of us. You know Mark’s against endowment. You know what Joseph had to say about sealing our posterity. Well, in a way I’m just as troubled about my religion as you are. Seems you are living up to it as well as a body possibly could, and it’s not doing a thing for you except making you desperately unhappy. I sure wouldn’t settle for what you’re having. So, it seems we both need to look for a better way.

  “Months ago Joseph told me I ought to be studying the Scriptures. I started out reading the Book of Mormon and then the Bible. Well, I’ve ended up reading just the Bible. Mostly because I’m discovering it’s teaching me things, like the fact that God loves us and He’s trying to
help us along the way.

  “Sally, I fear for you. Unless you pull yourself up short and begin to make some progress with the Lord, I don’t think you’re going to—”

  “Keep living?” Sally sighed.

  “Why don’t you begin by reading in the book of John?”

  “I’ve read it before.”

  “Did you believe what you read? Jesus came to give us life. If we believe in Him we’ll spend eternity with Him.” Jenny chewed her lip. “Come to think of it, if we can spend eternity with Him, just by accepting the idea He’s died for our sins so we don’t have to—well then, where will Joseph be? If he is there, well then, I think we’ve found an easier way to get to the same place.”

  “Oh, Jenny, you’re making my head whirl!”

  Jenny looked at Sally in dismay. “I’m sorry. I want so badly to help you, but I just don’t know how. I’m not happy with my religion and you’re not happy with yours. According to what Joseph’s been teaching, you’ve progressed a lot further than I have. Just looking at your sad face and seeing the mess of things, I can’t say I envy you one bit.”

  Sally cradled her head on the book and began to cry. In desperation Jenny looked down at John Mark, “Young’un, hurry with your dinner.”

  To Sally she said, “While we’re waiting on John Mark, turn to the eighth chapter of John and start reading. About verse thirty-one, I think. I don’t understand it all, so maybe you can help me, too.”

  Wearily Sally pushed herself up and began thumbing through the Bible. She found the section, then slowly said, “This is to the Jews.”

  “Well, didn’t Joseph talk about our blood being changed into children-of-Israel blood when we got baptized? So I’m thinking it must apply to us.”

  She looked down at the words and said, “Well, he’s telling the Jews if they continue in His word, they are His disciples.” She paused to read silently and when she lifted her head there was a wondering excitement in her voice. “It says here that they’d know the truth and the truth would make them free. Jenny, is Jesus promising that if we read this Word, it’s going to make us free?”