Dying to Run
Page 7
I didn’t know how to respond. Sham and my dad had both already given their approval of Jesse, but they lived in an alternate reality as well. The bomb might have been the right thing, it might have saved thousands of children from becoming slaves, for which I would be forever grateful, but the fact of the matter was that Sham was right, I loved this man, and the fact that he could kill people and blow up his own father was a bit disturbing to me. Even if it was for an important cause and that father was a twisted sicko.
“You learning about my past is a nightmare,” Jesse said.
“So you never wanted me to find out?”
He shook his head. “Not really, but I would’ve told you.” He cocked his head to the side. “Don’t give me that look, Cassidy, I would’ve told you, but not like that. It was too much to deal with at the wrong time and I’m still trying to deal with it myself.” He drew in a long breath. “There’s nothing I can do to change it now, but I promise you it will never happen again.”
I considered this for a minute before nodding. He couldn’t change a mistake he made years ago. If I could forgive the man who killed my grandparents driving drunk, I could find a way to forgive Jesse.
I tried to resist, but found myself asking a completely shallow question, “What about all the women?”
“Women do come onto me.” He shrugged like he wasn’t sure why they came onto him and he didn’t know how to make them stop. It was obvious to me why they pursued him. I couldn’t fault their taste, but the jealousy was eating at me.
“But I am not a womanizer and I have never felt about any woman the way I feel about you.”
I watched him, knowing in my gut he was telling me the truth. My entire body tingled because of the way he’d emphasized that last phrase. “Sham explained to me that you’re like this noble warrior who has to fight for what’s right.”
Jesse ducked his head. “Warrior works, but noble is definitely wrong.”
“Why?”
He clenched his fist. “If I was noble I would probably be consumed with grief for killing those men, but I feel . . . justified. I don’t like to kill, Cassidy, but I know what I did was the right thing to do.”
I nodded, actually understanding his reasoning, a small part of me actually agreeing that it was the right thing.
“If I was noble, I’d leave you alone.” He flung a hand in my direction. “Look at you, you’re beautiful and innocent and—”
“Okay,” I interrupted, clasping my hands together. “Everybody needs to ease up on my innocence. Am I really just clueless and you’re all trying to make me feel good?”
Jesse actually smiled, despite the turmoil in his eyes. “No, but maybe innocent is the wrong word.” He paused and cleared his throat. “You make me laugh while still being . . . pure. I know whatever you say is exactly what you mean, you couldn’t lie if you tried. But the most amazing thing is how brave you are. All the times you’ve had your life threatened, you didn’t fall apart. Even when you wanted to hurt me for blowing up Nana.” I winced and he hurried on, “You still screamed to distract the guard who would’ve shot me. You’re a fighter. If I wasn’t so overprotective of you, I would love to have you by my side in any battle.”
I smiled, suddenly feeling bashful. “Thanks.”
“The only problem is if I really feel that overprotective of you, why do I keep coming around?” He arched an eyebrow and kept speaking before I could interrupt, “I am completely unworthy of you, yet I keep coming back because I can’t make myself stay away.”
I glared at him. “Have you ever heard the saying, ‘If you love someone set him free, if he doesn’t come back hunt him down and kill him’?”
Jesse laughed, loud. “I thought you were opposed to killing.”
“Not in this case. If you love me, you’ve got to lay off this crap about not being worthy, because I am not about to let you go. Gain some confidence, loser.”
His face crinkled irresistibly as he chuckled louder. “Oh, Cassidy, this is why I love you.”
“You do?” I tilted my head to the side.
“Oh, yes.” He moved a step closer and my breathing was suddenly more erratic than my thoughts. I loved this man, but could I reconcile myself to how he truly ticked?
“I’m still not sure what to think about you,” I said, placing a hand on his chest to stop his forward progression. “Maybe you could convince me by sharing exactly how you feel about me.”
He smiled. “Show or tell?”
Both. “Tell.” I was dying for show but that would hopefully come after I heard exactly why this man, who was tough and hardened to life, wanted me.
He quickly got serious again. “I love you, Cassidy. I love your mind.” He softly touched my forehead. “I love your spirit.” He pressed his palm against my heart. For some reason it had a completely different effect than Sham touching me in the same spot. “I love your body.” Jesse wrapped both hands around my back and pulled me against him. “I love the way you smell.” He inhaled deeply. “Like vanilla and brown sugar, like going to Mom’s at Christmastime.”
Sadness flickered across his face for an instant and I realized that he probably wouldn’t be going home for Christmas this year. His poor mom. Jesse interrupted my thoughts by lowering his head to mine. Seeing that look in his eyes I could hardly breathe, let alone think.
“And I really, really love your mouth. Everything you say and everything you can do with it.” He kissed me until my world was spinning.
Gasping, I pulled away and looked into those dark eyes that I loved more than any eyes in the world. “I said tell, you jumped right into show without permission.”
Jesse smiled, shaking his head. “You see why I love you?” He trailed a hand gently down the side of my face that was already showing a bruise from where Damon had struck me. “The question is, how do you feel about me?”
I swallowed hard, wishing he’d quit touching me so I could think straight. “I wish I didn’t love you, but I do.”
He grinned.
“But that doesn’t mean I’m not still confused and upset and wondering if I can really be with you after all of this.”
He nodded solemnly. “I have an idea.”
This idea had better not include him leaving me to go to Mexico.
“Your dad’s advising me to leave the country until he can smooth over the bombing with the authorities. Why don’t we go to Mexico and help in the villages and orphanages? You can see why it’s so important to do what I do and you could also be with your dad.”
Being anywhere with Jesse sounded good, but I couldn’t just up and leave my family and clientele to chase after him. I batted my eyelashes. “And my sworn protector would be there to watch over me,” I teased to avoid answering his question.
A frown marred Jesse’s handsome face. “You shouldn’t joke about Sham’s protection. It’s a sacred thing to him. But I still don’t like him vowing to protect you. That’s my job. If you agree, I’ll watch over you day and night.” He winked.
I licked my lips. “I’ve got a few applicants for the job, but I’ll get back to you soon.”
“Nana’s right, you’re a brat.” He pulled me against him and kissed me before I could form a rebuttal. “Will you please give us a chance?” he whispered against my mouth.
I stared at him for several seconds. Maybe I should take a little trip to Mexico. I could help with the children, make Jesse teach me some self-defense for the next time Ramirez tried to kill us, and best of all kiss him anytime I wanted. “Seeing as you love every part of me so much, I guess you deserve at least a few days’ trial.”
“Cassidy, would you . . .” The silence stretched on as he grinned and obviously wanted to terrify me that he was popping a question I could no way answer right now. “. . . Go on a date with me?”
“Hmm.” I arched an eyebrow. “I might consider it.”
Jesse’s eyes sparkled. “What would you like to do?”
“Kissing, dinner, romantic hike with more kiss
ing, ice cream then some more kissing. Did I mention I want you to kiss me?”
“I think I can take care of that.” Jesse pulled me in and kissed me until I stopped caring about anything else on the list. Within seconds I was convinced spending the winter in Mexico was a fabulous plan.
The End
About the Author
Cami is a part-time author, part-time exercise consultant, part-time housekeeper, full-time wife, and overtime mother of four adorable boys. Sleep and relaxation are fond memories. Chocolate, prayer, and occasionally hiding in her closet, keeps her almost sane.
Please refer to Cami’s book blog – http://camicheckettsbooks.blogpost.com for more information about her books. For fitness articles and exercise advice – http://fitnessformom.blogspot.com
www.camichecketts.com
Other books by Cami:
The Fourth of July
The Broken Path
The Sister Pact
Dead Running
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A portion of the proceeds from Dying to Run will be donated to The Child and Family Support Center. For more information on this worthy cause – www.cachecfsc.org
www.camichecketts.com