Words I Couldn't Say (Promise in Prose #1)

by Tessa Teevan

  As I stared at his retreating back, I decided that it was time to fight dirty.

  “Tucker Manning, if you don’t take me upstairs and finish what you started five years ago, then I’ll find someone who will.”

  He whirled around so fast I felt the air whoosh around me. The feral heat that flashed in his eyes sent arousal coursing through my veins. It was an empty threat, but by the look on Tucker’s fuming face, it had worked. And thank goodness for it, because just like I was it for him, I knew there would never be anyone else for me.

  This time, I was the one walking away. Except, for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why the hell I was doing it. This was exactly what I wanted. This was exactly what I’d been waiting for. The past two weeks had been torture—wanting to go to her, yet wanting her to make that first, pivotal move.

  And, now that she was there, ready to pick back up where we’d left off, why the hell was I pushing her away? Was I scared of losing myself in her again only for her to leave? Probably. Did I care?

  A resounding no was my answer. The risk was worth it. She was worth it. Ava Banks was the only woman for me and I’d already lost her once. It wouldn’t happen again. I had to win her heart back, once and for all. Fear be damned.

  Just as I was about to step forward and claim my woman, she beat me to the punch. Ava whirled around, her blond hair messy and wild, a welcome reminder of our passionate kisses. Her eyes flashed with wicked intent as she gave the cruelest of threats.

  “Tucker Manning, if you don’t take me upstairs and finish what you started five years ago, then I’ll find someone who will.”

  Those final five words awoke something feral inside me. My want to claim her heart immediately transformed into a fundamental need to claim her body as well.

  “Like hell you will.” I barely recognized my husky voice.

  “Then stop me.”

  I raked over her expression. She defiantly set her chin, her hands on her soft, little hips, waiting to see if I’d rise to the challenge. And then she licked her lips.

  My cock sprang to life, straining against my shorts.

  Challenge fucking accepted.

  With a growl, I crossed the porch. “You broke my heart when you left, Ava. Fucking shattered it. But I got over it,” I said, unleashing all the pent-up anger and regret I’d been suppressing for far too long. I channeled the emotion and switched it into passionate fuel for a fire that had been burning for her since the first moment her lips had touched mine.

  Wrapping my arm around her waist, I drew her into me. Her gaze darted back and forth between my eyes as she waited for me to continue.

  “Or at least I thought I had. Until I saw you standing here, your lips swollen from my kiss. I knew the truth. I never got over you. I never wanted to. Hell. I never will.”

  I hauled her off her feet, wrapping her in my arms, eliciting the softest whimper from her delicate lips. Without a word, I carried her across the threshold, back into my home, not planning on stopping until I was sinking into her. Until she was screaming my name, begging for it, begging for more, begging for me.

  It’d been a long time coming, and I was finally going to have Ava Banks. In my bed. In my heart. In my life.

  And, this time, I would never let her go.

  WHEN TANNER CAME HOME THE next morning, he’d see the evidence of our frenzy. Not that I let it stop me from practically tearing her clothes off—as much as I could with her in my arms. As we headed down the hall to my room, Ava’s lips were glued to mine. Her soft breasts were pressed against my chest, not even the slightest millimeter of space between us. We stopped several times along the way, bumping into walls, knocking photos off-balance, and undressing so that, by the time we reached my room, I was left in only my shorts, already undone thanks to Ava’s attempt to get to the goods. When I tossed her on the bed, I paused to take in the sight of her.

  The view damn near blew me away. I closed my eyes and lifted my head to the sky, reverently thanking whatever being, whichever lucky star, that she was there.

  My breath caught when I opened my eyes and saw her watching me through hooded eyes.

  There she was, clearly matured with soft, womanly curves, yet still so innocent and beautiful like the eighteen-year-old girl I’d first fallen in love with. I blinked, half scared she was a mirage, the figment of my imagination that’d kept me awake through many endless nights. I couldn’t believe she was actually there. I didn’t even try to mask the shameless stare as I tried committing this sight to memory.

  Not that I could ever forget it. Ava’s petite body was covered with only a tiny scrap of material I guessed you could call underwear. The rest of her was completely bare for me. I was suddenly eager for the rest of her to be, too.

  “Tucker.”

  Ava’s sweet whisper snapped me back to reality. Her dark eyebrows were raised, one side of her lips quirked up as she watched me.

  “Are you going to stare all night, or do you plan on joining me?”

  She didn’t have to ask twice. I discarded my shorts faster than if they’d been on fire and climbed onto the bed with her. Starting at her ankles, I slid my hands up, savoring the feel of her smooth skin under my touch.

  “Tucker, I need you to kiss me. To touch me. Please,” she pleaded.

  I couldn’t ignore that plea. I rose from my place between her legs and settled in beside her. My fingers fisted her silken hair as my lips reclaimed her mouth. At first, it was a long, drugging kiss, as I hoped to savor every moment, but it wasn’t enough for Ava. She surprised me with a fiery passion, her tongue invading my mouth and tangling with my own. The way she made sweeping, swirling motions with her tongue was a strong reminder of how expertly she used to suck my cock. The memory of her mouth on me was dangerous. It nearly had me ready to come already, and that was the last thing I wanted.

  I wasn’t an idiot. I knew I wasn’t going to last long. Not this first time with Ava. No amount of jacking off could have ever prepared me—or my dick—for the first time I slid into her. Still, I at least wanted to make it good for her.

  It nearly killed me to do it, but somehow, I tore my lips from hers. She whimpered and tried to pull me back in, but I resisted. How, I’d never know.

  “I have to have you, Ava. If I’m not inside you soon, I’m going to explode,” I grunted, willing my cock to calm the hell down.

  “Not yet,” she said, pushing me up and rolling me onto my back.

  “But—” I protested, but she glared at me and shook her head.

  “I said not yet. I want to taste you first.”

  How could I argue with that?

  She straddled my waist and tilted forward, eliciting a shiver from me each time her long hair grazed my skin as she peppered kisses along my jawline, down my chest, and along my torso. My abs tensed when her lips were just above the waistband of my boxers. Her grin let me know she noticed, and it only widened when she peeled my boxers off, allowing my rock-hard cock to spring free. This girl was going to be the death of me.

  Oh, what a way to go.

  All rational thought scattered as she eyed her next meal and licked her lips in preparation.

  Fucking hell. I was torn. If Ava was hungry, who was I to deny her? But at the same time, I was equally as famished and the only thing that could satisfy me was her. It was all I could do not to flip her onto her back and slam into her.

  She won.

  All thought escaped me when her dainty hand grabbed me and expeditiously worked me over from root to tip. It was mere seconds before pre-cum was glistening on the tip just from her touch alone. It was a sign we needed to speed things up. For Ava, however, it was an invitation.Her head bent and she used her tongue to circle the head, lapping up the evidence of my all-too-soon impending release. When a groan escaped my lips, she widened her jaw and lowered her head, taking all of me into the depths of her throat. She bobbed up and down, alternating between licking and sucking. My hips involuntarily moved with her, creating a perfect rhythm
. She tightened her lips while I thrust into her mouth.

  I couldn’t have helped the groan that escaped me if I’d tried. She was so good. So perfect. So incredibly mine.

  When she added her hand to the mix, I knew I had to stop this. I barely had the willpower to do so, but knowing I was about to give myself to her, lose myself in her for the first time was all I needed to keep me from coming in her mouth. With all the willpower I could muster, I forced my hips not to move, stilling my thrusts.

  “Baby, stop. You gotta stop if you want me to last. “

  I nearly came when she looked up at me with wide, rounded, disappointed eyes. She hollowed her cheeks and sucked hard, deliberately retreating until she released me from her mouth. I rose, and she got the hint, quickly lying back under me.

  Desire flashed in her eyes, and I paused to drink in the image of the love of my life sprawled out and beautiful beneath me. I trailed a path from her collarbone, over both breasts, and down with one finger until it slipped between her legs to see if she was ready for me. My girl didn’t disappoint.

  Ava was drenched, wet for me, and it awoke some primal instinct I had to take her right then and there until I was spilling into her. I also knew, if I did that, I’d be coming in practically five seconds. That was the absolute last thing I wanted to happen now that I had Ava in my bed.

  Nice and slow, Manning. Nice and slow.

  Nice and slow went out the window moments later when she wrapped her legs around my waist and lifted her hips. I was nearly undone when the tip of my cock nudged against her entrance and she guided me straight to her core. With a restraint I hadn’t know I possessed, I held back, just allowing the tip to gracefully slip inside her, eliciting a moan I couldn’t have held back if I’d tried. She felt incredible. She was incredible. As her warmth enveloped me, I sank deep into her depths, moving as slowly as possible so I didn’t combust before this even truly began.

  It wasn’t easy, but when I was seated fully inside her, I took her hands, entwining our fingers and holding them above her head as my gaze found hers. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and I knew, I fucking knew she felt it. She felt me. She felt my heart.

  In that moment, with no words spoken, we said everything that mattered.

  With our bodies joined and our eyes locked, I made love to the woman of my dreams for the first time in my life. Tears sprang to her eyes as I took my time discovering all that was Ava. Memorizing every single inch. Burning every moment of this ecstasy into my brain. She’d never been more beautiful than she was at that moment. Her hair fanned along my pillow, her sweet lips parted, the small hitch of her breath every time I drove into her. The pink tinting her cheeks, the racing of her heart, and the incredible way she clenched around me so tightly I swore it was evident her pussy had been made solely for me. And it was claiming me, just as I was claiming her.

  As I gained momentum, her desperate whimpers gave way to desperate moans. Slowly, sweetly, and without abandon, I poured every ounce of what I felt for her into the act. Five years of longing. Five years of praying. Wishing, hoping like hell that she’d come back into my life.

  And, after tormenting years full of loneliness, she had.

  This had been worth waiting for.

  Ava had been worth waiting for, and I was going to do everything in my power to show her that what we had, what we’d always had, deserved a second chance.

  I only hoped the fear in the back of my mind would finally recede once and for all.

  WHILE LYING IN BED, WRAPPED up in tangled sheets and Tucker’s arms, I’d never experienced such unabashed joy. Such bliss. My heart threatened to burst with the happiness from finally having given all of myself to Tucker. This was what I’d waited for. At the same time, I couldn’t believe this was what I’d been missing. He had been a virgin, and while it hadn’t lasted all that long, it had single-handedly been the most incredible experience of my life. Even though he hadn’t known I was just as pure, he’d warmed me up enough that I’d only felt slight pain. Pain that had been rapidly replaced with pleasure as he made slow, sweet love to me.

  “We seriously should have done that five years ago,” I sighed, inhaling his masculine scent and taking it all in. Taking him all in.

  He laughed then rose from the bed to clean up. With gentle fingers, he took care of himself and then sweetly did the same for me. When he slipped a pair of boxers on and left the room, I slid his T-shirt over my head and followed him to the kitchen, where he proceeded to put a kettle on the stove. His back muscles rippled with each movement, and my mouth watered. I wanted my hands to explore each hard line and plane. The next time we were naked in his bed, I’d get my chance to do just that.

  As I watched him, I found myself unable to believe that my hands were the only ones that’d ever touched him intimately.

  “I can’t believe you were a virgin,” I blurted. Then my face reddened at how abrupt I’d been.

  He grinned over the top of his mug. “I can’t believe I lasted as long as I did the first time. But be careful, baby, because I have a feeling you unleashed an animal tonight,” he joked, winking at me.

  Like I’d ever complain about that.

  I fidgeted with the hem of his T-shirt. “I, umm…” Embarrassment flooded my cheeks, causing them to flush, and not from what we’d just done. Or the implication that we’d be doing it again.

  God, I hoped so. Now that we’d been together, I wanted to be together over and over again.

  He was my first. And I was his. I couldn’t believe it.

  This amazing, gorgeous man had been a virgin until half an hour ago. He’d waited for me. He’d had enough faith that we’d find our way back to each other, and he’d stayed devoted to me the entire time we had been apart. That spoke volumes. Then and there, I was so proud I’d saved myself for him, too.

  The thought had tears filling my eyes. All of this time, all of this distance, and we’d still loved each other enough to wait.

  “Ava, come here,” he said, holding his arm out.

  Without hesitation, I crossed the kitchen and sat on his lap. His arm wrapped around my waist while his other hand cupped my chin, forcing me to look at him. His blue eyes captured me.

  “It doesn’t matter that I wasn’t your first. It wouldn’t matter if I weren’t your second, third, fourth, fifth, or whatever.”

  I blinked back tears. “What?”

  His lips curved up into the sweetest smile. “Really. I promise. The only thing that matters to me…is that I’m your last.”

  I realized then he’d misinterpreted my tears. I laughed, leaning in to place a kiss on his lips. “No, Tucker. I’ve never… You were my first.”

  His eyes widened. “Ava, God…I had no idea. Oh, Jesus, did I hurt you?” he asked in a panicked tone.

  “No! You were perfect. It was perfect. And I think you may have unleashed my own beast,” I told him, winking.

  He grinned then wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his forehead to mine. “The fact that we both waited for each other astounds me. Nothing’s changed. I meant what I said on Prom Night. I want to be your first and your last.”

  “What are you saying?” I asked, searching his eyes.

  “You’re back here, Ava. I don’t know for how long I have you, but I want to spend the time that I do with you. Like this. Getting to know you, the woman, and falling for her, just as I did the girl.”

  “I want that, too. And, Tucker, when the film is over—”

  He held a finger to my lips. “I don’t want to talk about the future. I don’t want to talk about the past. I just want to be here, in the present, with you. We’ll deal with everything else later.”

  As much as I wanted to argue, I couldn’t. I refused to put a damper on the night we’d just spent together. So, instead, I leaned forward, captured his lips, and enjoyed the present with Tucker, all the while silently vowing to myself that I’d make him trust me again. I’d get him to fall in love with me all over again. And, in the end,
we’d be together.

  No matter what it took. Because I wanted what Tucker had offered. For him to be my last.

  It wasn’t until Tucker carried me to bed and we’d said our goodnights that a thought popped into my mind. His breathing had changed, and I knew he was on the verge of drifting off, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. “Hey Tucker?” I asked, propping myself up on my elbow and placing my hand on his bare chest.

  His eyes popped open. “Yeah?”

  “We didn’t use a condom,” I stated as if he hadn’t been there. “Just so you know…umm, obviously, I’m clean.”

  Tucker grinned. “I can say the same.”

  “And I’m on birth control,” I informed him.

  His grin widened. He rolled until I was flat on my back and he was hovering over me. “Is that so?” he asked, a wicked gleam filling his eyes.

  I nodded, knowing exactly what he was thinking. Then something else crossed my mind.

  “Speaking of,” I said. “Trevor and Abby never used condoms. Not once. I spent the rest of the book waiting for her morning sickness.”

  “That was for a reason,” he informed me before dipping his head and placing a kiss in the curve of my neck.

  Shivers ran down my spine from the contact. “I know. It’s just, my roommate, Tawni, told me that, as a reader, she expects one of two things: condoms or babies.”

  His shoulders shook with laughter as he withdrew from me. “Are you kidding? That’s ridiculous. Couples have sex all the time without condoms and without having babies.”

  I shrugged. “It’s just a rule, I supposed. In fiction, if there’s no condom, nine months later, there’s a baby.”

  “Then I guess it’s a good thing this isn’t fiction.” His eyes darkened at the thought.

  I agreed, but the truth was that I could see myself pregnant with his child. Not now or any time soon, of course, but the idea of having a little Tucker on my hands?