Words I Couldn't Say (Promise in Prose #1)

by Tessa Teevan

  “Do you like that, baby?” he asked again, repeating the tugging motion.

  I barely had to turn my neck for my eyes to lock with his. “No, Tucker. I love it,” I said, slamming my ass back onto his retreating cock so he was filling me up again just as he was trying to withdraw.

  His answering growl vibrated with pleasure like the sweetest purr against my skin. I hoped that I was about to see more of the beast he’d claimed I’d unleashed.

  He pushed my hands over my head so I was reaching across the desk.” “Hold on, baby. I’m going to fuck you hard and fast, and I don’t want you to make a sound until you’re coming.” His order was erotic, and there was no way I couldn’t comply.

  Tucker hadn’t been lying. He rose and took hold of my hips, using them to increase his pace until he was frantically fucking me with reckless abandon, I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming. Each thrust sent me that much closer to ecstasy. Each withdraw had me wanting to whimper.

  For five years, I’d felt so empty without having Tucker. Now? Five seconds was way too long.

  That was when I knew I’d never be able to walk away from him ever again. And, if he tried walking away from me, well, I’d just stay naked in his construction trailer for the rest of my life.

  A twinge of pain at the base of my neck had me crying out in surprise. Tucker’s tongue caressed my skin where he’d just bitten.

  “Did you just drift off while I was fucking you, Ava?”

  I realized then he’d stop thrusting altogether.

  “Am I not keeping you entertained?”

  I frowned as he deliberately slid out of me. Orders be damned, I turned, leaned forward, and took hold of him in my hand. I loved that it felt so thick, so full in my palm.

  I grinned up at him. “Oh, yeah. Definitely entertained. I was having thoughts of how much I missed this while I was away.”

  His answering cock jerk was enough of a response for me. I hoped that he’d resume fucking me, but instead, he took one quick swipe of my pussy with his finger then licked it clean.

  “Guess it is dessert time after all,” he said, giving me a wicked grin.

  I narrowed my eyebrows, unsure of what he meant. That was until he picked me up off the desk and carried me to his office chair, where he sat down and brought me into his lap. Except instead of me riding him like you’d think he was planning, he turned me around, upside down. I had an incredible close-up view of his manhood, which was practically bobbing against my face, seeking entrance.

  “Legs over my shoulders,” he ordered. He already started to position me the way he wanted, so it wasn’t like I could say no. “Look at this pretty fucking pussy.”

  Any discomfort went out the window, and I took his cock in my mouth just as his tongue plunged into my folds.

  Let’s just say it was a good thing I was a pretty dedicated yogi back in California. I had no idea you could sixty-nine that way. I was going be sore for days after, but it was so, so worth it.

  Still, it was worth every single painful second when he triggered my orgasm with his tongue. The intensity of the pleasure had me frantic to give him his own. With my hand, I jerked him faster while I sucked his dick like my life depended on it.

  It paid off when, seconds later he was spilling into my mouth, and I returned his earlier favor by sucking him dry until not a drop was left to swallowed.

  With complete ease, Tucker gripped my hips and flipped me over, righting me on his lap. All the blood rushed to my head, making me feel woozy and lightheaded. Still, I couldn’t hide my grin.

  “That. Was. Amazing,” I said through panted breaths.

  “Fuck me,” Tucker muttered.

  “Told you it was time for dessert,” I teased. When I looked into his eyes, my sweet, compassionate Tucker was back.

  His hand came to the back of my head, where he gently caressed my scalp. “Jesus, Ava, I’ve never been like that. Never thought I would be like that.”

  I grinned. “It’s fine. I loved every minute of it,” I reassured.

  “I don’t know if I should be ashamed or fucking proud of myself. I’ve never been so damn aroused as I was seeing you there, naked on my desk, submissive and obeying my every order.”

  I smirked. “I don’t know that I’d call it submissive,” I teased.

  He gave me a droll smile. “You know what I mean. It’s just. Fuck, that was such a rush.”

  “You should probably go ahead and get out a notebook. Write all of that down. Put it in your next book. The ladies will go crazy,” I offered, mentally patting myself on the back at the suggestion. Heck, I was on board with trying out all different kinds of sex acts in the name of research for his future novels.

  He raised an eyebrow. “Does that mean you’re offering to stick around to help with all future choreography?”

  At that point, Tucker and I still hadn’t talked about the future. We hadn’t discussed what would happen once filming was done. It was as if living in our little bubble was enough and we’d deal with the hard stuff later. I didn’t think that post-coital, while naked in his desk chair, was necessarily the place to discuss it. But, as Tucker’s heart beat against my chest, I couldn’t help but feel how right this was. How at home I was whenever I was with him.

  I realized I was done with denying the truth. Done with the wondering, the waiting, the elephant hanging in the room. If I had my way, I was never letting Tucker go. And, well, if he didn’t like it, he’d have to deal with a naked me chained to his desk twenty-four-seven. Then again, if the semi-hard dick rising between his legs was any indication, he wouldn’t have a problem with that.

  “Ava?”

  His playful expression was gone, having been replaced with a nervous one. One I wanted to immediately dispel.

  “Have I told you lucky I know I am?” he asked. He ran a hand through my hair before cupping my jaw. “Sometimes, it’s hard for me to believe you’re really here with me.”

  “Well, you better believe it, because I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Promise?”

  His expression was both earnest and hopeful. It was all I could do not to throw my arms around his neck and beg him to keep me forever.

  I repositioned myself so I was straddling. Thank goodness he had an office chair worthy of sexual relations. I’d have to visit more often. I smiled when the tip of his cock nudged my entrance, not even needing either of our hands to guide it into place. Tucker groaned as I sunk down on him.

  I put my hands on his cheeks. “Tucker, look at me.”

  He agreed, and while I wasn’t pulling his hair, I smiled at the thought that I was the one in control now.

  “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I will always love you. I was a fool once for walking away from you. I will never be that fool again.”

  That was all he needed. This time, as I rode us into ecstasy, Tucker held on tight, whispering over and over again how much he loved me.

  That was all I needed, too.

  I lay against his heaving chest, both of us still trying to calm down from that last round. “I should probably go. Let you get your work done before I date,” I offered, but I made no move to get up.

  “You think I’m going back to work after that? Tanner can come in this weekend and do it. He’s always asking for extra responsibilities.”

  “Aww, Tucker, it’s time.”

  “Time for what?” he asked.

  I sat up and gave him a saucy wink. “Time to start thinking more with your dick and less about responsibilities.”

  “Baby, now that you’re around, thinking with my dick is practically all I do.”

  OUR DATE HAD STARTED OFF much earlier than expected. Which, after the long few weeks we’d had, was exactly what we’d needed. And the conversation we’d had? Knowing he wanted me even after I was done filming lifted so much weight off my shoulders. Sure, he’d told me that he loved me, but the confirmation that we were both on the same page about the future was what I’d needed.

  We
did the usual first-date stuff: dinner and dancing. We shared mouth-watering tapas, and the way Tucker fed me with his fingers then slowly slid them from my mouth had my legs quivering in a way that had me wanting to signal for our check. Our bodies moved together in perfect rhythm on the dance floor as electronic dance music pulsed in the nightclub around us. I shivered when Tucker kissed the curve of my neck then trailed his lips up to my ear, where he nibbled on my lobe. His arms tightened around my waist, and his hand settled on my belly.

  “Wanna get out of here?” His seductive whispers sent instant heat between my legs, and I nodded.

  He grabbed my hand, and I struggled to keep up as he led me out of the club and to the car, apparently as eager to make love in our bed as I was.

  Except he clearly had something else in mind.

  I was surprised when we pulled up to the studio. “What are we doing here?”

  He parked the car and exited without a word. When he opened my door, he held a hand out. “Trust me?” he asked.

  My eyes met his warm ones, and I rose on my tiptoes to place a reassuring kiss on his lips. “Always.”

  He entwined our fingers and held me close as he led me into a small room with a massive computer and several sets of headphones.

  “What is all of this?”

  “As part of my contract, I get to pick two songs for the soundtrack. I think I’ve found them and wanted to see what you thought.”

  “Really?” I asked, excitement bubbling up.

  He nodded and placed a giant set of headphones over my ears. Before he pressed play, he pulled one ear piece aside and whispered, “This is Trevor’s wedding song for Abby.”

  Butterflies rose in my stomach, because if it was a song Tucker has chosen for their marriage, it was one he’d pick for ours. I studied the screen. The song was by an unknown band to me, Kodaline, and it was called “The One.”

  I closed my eyes and allowed the lyrics to shower me with words that touched me deep down in my soul. The last lyric came and went, just as the tears streaming down my face. Then it was silent and I blinked my eyes open.

  Tucker was watching me intently. “Do you like it?”

  “Like it? Are you kidding? I love it! It’s absolutely perfect for Trevor and Abby. Just perfect.” I felt silly when I hiccupped on the last word, having been so moved by the lyrics.

  He cupped my cheek and used his thumb to wipe my tears. “This isn’t for them. This is for you.” He leaned in close, his lips were a whisper of a kiss on mine. “If I could write you a song, Ava, it would be this.”

  “Tucker, this song is beautiful. I’m touched it made you think of me. But a song? Babe, you wrote me a book. The most eloquent, touching, heartfelt words I’ve ever read, and they were for me.”

  His thumb stroked my cheek. “It’s all for you. All I’ve ever done is for you.”

  My throat closed as I was once again floored with the depths of his devotion. I sniffed and wiped my tears away. “What was the second song you had in mind?” I asked, getting us back into lighter conversation.

  Tucker’s face broke out into a devilish smile. “I was thinking ‘Strokin’.’”

  Giggles erupted from me. “Dad would love that.” I threw my arms around his neck and pressed a firm, smacking kiss on his lips. “This has been the best date ever,” I sighed.

  He gave me a wicked gleam. “And it’s only just beginning.”

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  Ava was lying on my chest, her fingertips running circles along the skin around my nipples. We were in bed, home from our date and mindlessly watching the Reds. The hand I had been lazily running up and down the curve of her spine froze. When I glanced down, she was watching me intently, her lips curved up in a cute, little half grin.

  “You can ask me anything,” I answered honestly. God, I was so happy we were finished with that stupid pretense of being friends with benefits. Still, I was thankful she’d given that to me. It had been unselfish, allowing me to come to trust her again on my own terms.

  “Those Three Words—there are some pretty steamy scenes with Abby and Trevor.” She paused. “I mean, you were a virgin. They were so descriptive, so arousing that I even squirmed while reading them. How’d you do it? Did you just watch a lot of premium cable after dark?”

  I chuckled. Why the hell would I have watched that crap when I had her?

  “Not a single woman in real life could ever compare to you. I don’t think ones being paid to act out sex fantasies would, either.”

  “So, you never watched porn?” she asked, her nose wrinkling as if she weren’t quite sure what to do with the information.

  “Nope. Not for me.”

  “Then how?” she pressed. “And what did you do when you were, you know, aroused?”

  “It was easy.”

  She cocked her head to the side. “It was?”

  I nodded then rolled her over until she was flat on her back and I was hovering over her. I roamed her body with my hand. “All I had to do was close my eyes and imagine all the ways I wanted to make love to you and the words flowed from me.”

  “So, I really was the inspiration behind the story?” she teased.

  “Every single part.”

  “And if you were aroused?” she asked again.

  I cupped her breast, bringing my mouth down to kiss her nipple before looking back up at her. “The same way. I’d close my eyes, conjure up the image of your perfect naked body, and imagine those beautiful lips wrapped around my dick, sucking me until I was sucked dry. Trust me, baby. I didn’t need porn. The thought of you was always enough.”

  She wrapped her hands around my neck. “Show me.”

  TODAY WAS IT. WRAP DAY. We’d been filming Those Three Words for ten weeks, and we were finally going to be done except for any reshoots the studio might order later. Working on this project had completely opened my eyes. It was a grueling process, less glitz and glamour and more hard work, sweat, excruciatingly long days, and not enough sleep. I even joked with Tucker that, once I was finished I, was sleeping for a week. And I didn’t mean the fun kind.

  Layla had even come to town, and on one rare night where we were released before the sun went down, the four of us would enjoy dinner on a riverboat as it slowly glided down the Ohio River. She was as refreshing as she seemed, and watching the two of them appear to be so normal even in the height of his fame was awe-inspiring. If the two of them were any indication, Tucker and I would be just fine.

  Not that I needed the encouragement. Once we’d both admitted that we were in this for the long haul, everything had fallen into place. I officially moved in with him—not that anyone had thought it had been unofficial before. When we had the time, he took me out on dates and we spent all our free time making up for, well, lost time. It killed me to keep the truth from Tawni, but at the end of the day, she was happy for me, even if she lamented the possibility of losing her roommate. I’d laughed it off at the time. The thing was, however, the closer I got to returning to California, the more I dreaded it. The routine Tucker and I had fallen into was the best version of playing house I could have ever imagined. I had no clue how I was supposed to walk away.

  Unfortunately, that time was coming all too soon.

  A few weeks ago, we’d been scheduled to film the final scene, but that had changed for some reason. Instead, they’d decided to shoot the final scene on what was supposed to be our last filming day. I’d never been more nervous in my life. This was the culmination of a heart-wrenching story and I wasn’t sure if my own heart would be able to make it through.

  My nerves were for two reasons, really. The final scene, to me, was one of the most pivotal. In it, Abby was both grieving and realizing she could go on, if not just for herself, but for her son. There was a tipping point, and I just prayed I could capture those emotions. Three months ago, I could’ve portrayed a heartbroken mess with extreme ease. Now, however, I was the happiest I’d ever been in my life and the last thing I wanted was to c
hannel my inner anguish. Or even contemplate being in the same boat. But, for the movie—and for Tucker—I would do it to the best of my ability.

  The second reason I was nervous was that I didn’t know what was going to happen with Tucker and me. We’d talked about long distance. It was the last thing I wanted to do. But the reality was that I was scheduled to fly back to Los Angeles next week, where Martin had already lined up weeks’ worth of interviews and magazine shoots. That didn’t even include promotion obligations for the movie, which would start in a few short months.

  We had less than a week left together, and I had no idea where we’d be when that day came. Would he want me to stay? Would he want to come with me?

  Heck, did I want to stay or go? I’d been racking my brain for days to figure out the best-case scenario to keep us together, and my heart was torn in two.

  Jonathan stuck his head in my trailer. “Ava, you ready?”

  I bit my lower lip. Then I squared my shoulders and stared into the mirror, the image of Abigail looking back at me. I didn’t think I’d ever be ready to leave Tucker. But this was Abigail’s story now.

  “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  I’d been repeatedly asked—if I had been writing a love story, why had I killed off the main character? Why would I have brought Trevor and Abby back together just to rip them apart again? The truth was…

  I didn’t know the answer.

  I’d often heard authors say that their characters speak for themselves. And I’d always thought it was bullshit. That was until Trevor and Abby. Because I was ready to settle down for the happily-ever-after I so desperately wanted for Ava and myself. And, well, that’s not what happened.

  There was a lesson in the story I’d written. One my characters learned the hard way. I’d thought I had also learned it myself. I’d written the most tragic outcome that could befall a couple in hopes it would maybe touch one heart and that person, instead of letting love slip through his fingers, would hold on for dear life and never let go. None of us know when it’s our time to go. So, why waste the time we do have separated from the one we love the most?