“Holy fuck Ella, You need to change,” he demands.
“Why?” I think I look good and the part to be his woman.
“Jesus babe, you look hotter than a fuckin’ volcano. You need to change or we won’t make it through the party without me fuckin’ you in front of everyone,” he growls. Umm. I like that idea. Wait what? Did I really? No, not in front of people, I just like the idea of fucking him.
“This is all I have to wear, Ryder,” I say.
“Well you need to put on something else. I am not havin’ you going out there with my boys looking like that and knowin’ what they will all be thinkin’ about,” he says.
“Well too bad.” I don’t think I like jerk Ryder, but I kind of like the jealous side he’s showing. I storm out past him and join the party.
I go to the fridge and started pouring my wine when I look around and notice all the women here are drinking beer. So I re-cork my wine and put it back in the fridge. I get a Corona for myself and try to twist the top off but can’t do it. I feel a strong set of familiar arms curl around me and take the bottle out of my hands.
“G.I. Jane can’t take this off? It’s a pop off babe,” he laughs.
“That is so not funny Ryder. Stop making fun of me,” I say, getting mad at him.
“I’m sorry. Here drink up,” he says.
“Why? Are you trying to get me drunk so you can get into my pants?” I ask, with a snarl. I know full well that he doesn’t want to get in there.
“You know I want in your pants, but not yet,” he says.
For most of the night, I mingle around the crowd with Ryder and he introduces me to most everyone here. Diesel, Pepper and his old lady Abbi, Buckshot and Lemon, Dodge and Lily, Vaden and Mya, Digger, Spider, and Bishop. Of course I already know Axel and Gunner. There are a few other women there that Ryder doesn’t introduce me to, but I don’t really have to ask why because of the slutty way they’re dressed and how they are behaving towards the men. It’s pretty safe to say that they aren’t any of the guy’s old ladies.
I’m starting to feel a little buzzed so I sit down with some of the girls at the table and we all chat for a while. I know they like to talk about how they did it the night before or how they did it that day or how they did it on the way here. I mean really! I feel like a real idiot not being able to join in the discussion with them because we haven’t DONE IT YET!
Macie, the tall blonde who looks like she is straight out of a Playboy magazine, and the one glaring daggers at me, is the last one at the table with me. I’m feeling a little inadequate compared to Macie’s Double Ds.
“So how did you meet?” she asks, with a bit of jealousy in her tone.
“I was out running one day and I banged into a light pole.”
“And when she woke up I was there with her. I thought about her every day after for a year. Then she walked into my bar one night about two weeks ago, and I knew I couldn’t go another night without her being mine,” he finishes, speaking for me.
Wow I love him!
“Wow that sounds soooooo sweet.” You can totally hear the sarcasm in her voice. “I bet she won’t be as good as me, Ryder baby,” she purrs.
“Get the fuck out,” Ryder spits out at her.
“I can make you feel better than any little virgin ever will,” she seductively says to Ryder.
“Been there, done that, it was shit. Not doin’ it again,” he points out. “Now get the fuck out bitch, don’t make me tell you again!”
“Fine, you know where I’ll be when you realize I’m right,” she says, as she heads for the door.
“Don’t hold your breath. Why would he leave something he can make his and only his for something that has probably been with every guy here?”
“Oh honey, you have no clue, do you? These guys like it that way, the dirtier the better. Your inexperience won’t keep him satisfied for long, and he will be lookin’ other places for satisfaction and I’ll be there.”
With that she leaves and slams the door behind her. Seriously, what a fucking bitch? I start for the door and grab on to the door knob when Ryder takes me in his arms.
“Calm down, Ella,” he whispers in my ear.
“Go fuck yourself, Ryder,” I say, pulling out of his arms.
“What did I do?” he asks.
“Well the better question is, who didn’t you do?” I hiss. I have never been so mad in all my life. I know she is right, so I think I am madder at myself for knowing that I won’t be able to keep him.
“Babe, you’re hammered. Let’s talk about this in the mornin’,” he suggests.
“Yeah, whatever,” I say, walking away from him.
Over the next few hours, my anger subsides and we sit around drinking, talking, laughing and basically having a great time.
When everyone else leaves, I go to the bathroom and take all my makeup off and brush my teeth. I change into the baby doll lingerie set I brought with me for Ryder. I feel horrible about getting upset with him earlier. I know she was just being a bitch and trying to cause trouble. I enter the bedroom and Ryder is sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. He looks up at me and his eyes change within seconds from sleepiness to wanting.
“Fuck me. You are so fuckin’ sexy, Ella.” He jumps up and grabs me by the waist, pulling me to the bed.
“Oh God, Ryder, I’m sorry for earlier. I know she is right and I think that is what makes me so mad. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you,” I kiss him to show him how sorry I am. He pulls back with a pissed off look.
“What the fuck Ella? She is so wrong. Do you think I would want to spend one fuckin’ second with something like that? She is a cold, dead fuck. You have given me more pleasure than anyone I have ever been with and I haven’t even fucked you yet,” he says.
“Ok well I hope you are right. Can we finally find out if it will be enough for you?” I ask. I am so ready to have sex with Ryder. Bring it on!
“Ella, don’t do that. You are more than enough for me. I am more scared that I’m not enough for you,” he says. I slowly walk over to him and cradle his face in my hands.
“Ryder, you are what I want for the rest of my life. I want you to make love to me,” I say.
“I can’t Ella, not yet.”
“What do you mean? Why? Is it really that bad for me to be a virgin that you don’t want to touch me?” I was getting mad and upset at the same time. He could see the tears filling my eyes.
“Not when we’re drunk. I want it to be special for you Ella. You deserve that, especially from me.”
“It is special Ryder, as long as it is with you.”
“I’m sorry babe, but I can’t. I want you to be 100% you, when we have sex for the first time, so you will remember every little detail.”
“I will remember, I do remember everything you say and do to me Ryder.”
“I can’t. I want to so bad, but I can’t Ella.”
“Fine, I guess I will have to go somewhere else to get it then. There are plenty of guys that would want to fuck me.” I storm towards the bathroom to get dressed and leave, but Ryder catches me by the waist and pulls me back towards him.
“Don’t ever fuckin’ say that again,” he hisses.
“Well I want you to want me Ryder, so I will do what I have to for you to want me.”
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ Ella! There is nothing I want more! Do you not understand how hard it is for me to not do this? God you are fuckin’ beautiful and sexy. I can barely keep my fuckin’ hands to myself. When we do this, I want it to be perfect not just for you, but for us babe,” he says.
I love it when he is sweet, but I am drunk, horny as hell, and pissed off.
“Whatever Ryder, I’m sleeping on the sofa.” I walk out into the hallway. I hear his footsteps behind me.
“Like fuck you are!” he yells.
“You can’t tell me what to do. Who in the fuck, do you think you are?!” I yell back.
“You are not sleepin’ on the sofa.
You will never sleep on the fuckin’ sofa again. It is either the bed or you don’t sleep,” he says.
“Fine, I won’t sleep then,” I hiss.
“Okay,” he grabs my arms and pushes me up against the wall, taking my mouth in a fiery kiss that goes through every inch of my body making my core ache with need. He trails hot kisses and suckles along my neck, then suddenly he drops down to his knees and rips my panties off.
“Oh God, yes!” I moan.
He puts his face between my thighs and sucks hard on my clit while pumping two fingers into my pussy.
“Oh God Ryder, I’m going to come.”
He doesn’t stop, just takes what he wants, which is for me to let go. And trust me, did I ever let go. It was so intense my knees could barely hold me up. Ryder stands up and my hands go to his belt buckle trying to undo it.
“Jesus Ella, I want my cock to be so deep inside you, that you would feel it for weeks after. I want you so bad, but not like this, not tonight. So is that enough for you to stop being pissed at me for tryin’ to do what’s right?” he asks.
“Fuck you. Ryder!” I say, storming off to the bedroom and slamming the door.
I lie in bed for a while trying to find sleep, but all I can think is how big of a bitch I was, acting the way I did. I wait for Ryder to come in but he doesn’t, so I cry myself to sleep thinking that I fucked everything up like I always do.
****
I wake up the next morning feeling like shit. I can’t remember the last time I drank so much. I roll over in the bed and realize that Ryder is not there. WTF?
Oh shit. It all comes back to me. I was acting like a horny bitch in heat.
I walk out to look for him in the house, but he is nowhere to be found. Oh God, I really did it now. He doesn’t want anything to do with me. Tears start streaming down my face, as I run back to the bedroom and pack my stuff.
I run to my car and drive away, as quickly as I can. I was going to go to my apartment, but I realize that I don’t want to go back there because I’m too afraid after what happened the last time. Fuck it. I decide to get a hotel room for a night. There are two hotels in town, so I go to the cheapest one and book a room for myself.
The room is very small. The décor is badly outdated and I’m not completely sure, but there must be a dead body hidden in the room somewhere, because does it ever smell nasty.
I throw my bag on the chair and lie down on the bed and cry some more. I don’t want to lose him, but I think it’s too late for that. I wish I didn’t drink last night. I won’t be doing that again. I order some takeout and hole myself up in my room for the night, crying and beating myself up emotionally for my stupidity. Where is G.I. Jane now?
The next morning, I wake up in the crappy hotel room; I decide to get in the shower and get ready to go out and do something. It’s pretty safe to say that Ryder and I are over. Pulling my cell phone out of my purse to call Payton to inform her about what’s going on, I notice my battery is dead. I plug my cell in to recharge and then decide to put on my flip flops to go for a walk around town and try to figure everything out. I walk and walk some more.
A few hours later, I end up at the beach. Sitting in the sand, I look out into the water, trying to find a way to make things better. I really did it this time. I don’t think he will ever talk to me again. My stomach growls at me. Well at least someone is talking to me, telling me it’s time to eat. I walk back to my hotel room to get changed, but when I get to the door, it is partially opened.
“No, this is not happening again,” I say to myself. What is it with people breaking into where I’m staying?
I slowly walk towards the door, wanting to call Ryder, but realizing that I can’t. It hurts my heart knowing that he isn’t there for me. I cautiously push the door open and look inside. I can see someone sitting on my bed with their head down. I can’t see who it is because the curtains are closed and the lights off. The person stands up and barrels towards me, engulfing me in a hug. That is when I know it is Ryder. His familiar scent envelops me.
“Jesus Ella, are you okay? What the fuck are you doin’? Is this where you’ve been hidin’ out?” he asks. I can see the relief and worry lines on his face.
“What are you doing here Ryder? You scared the shit out of me.”
“What do you mean? I came home from the bar and your car and all your shit was gone. I have been lookin’ for you everywhere. Why did you leave? Are you leavin’ me? I am so sorry Ella. Don’t leave me,” he says, burying his face in my neck.
“What are you talking about Ryder? I would never leave you. You were leaving me, once you realized I am a bitch. You don’t need that. I know you know you deserve better.”
“Christ babe, I would never leave you. You are all I want for the rest of my life,” he says.
I Love You Ryder. I want to say it so bad, but it is too soon.
“Really?” I ask.
“Yeah babe, Lets go home,” he says.
“Okay.”
“One more question before we go. Why the fuck didn’t you answer your phone when I called?”
“My cell battery died. Sorry.”
“Don’t ever fuckin’ worry me like that again. Understand?” I nod in response.
I walk to the bed to get my stuff. It is all packed and ready to go. God I love him. He takes my hand and leads me to my car, putting me in the passenger seat.
“What are you doing? Where’s your bike?” I ask. “Never mind, don’t answer that. Let me guess. You got one of the boys to pick it up.”
“Wasn’t takin’ a chance. Not leavin’ here without you, Ella.”
WOW!
“Okay.”
We drive home in comfortable silence. Enjoying each other’s company and knowing that we are okay. After Ryder shuts the car off, we both walk to his front door, hand in hand.
We’re standing inside his porch after closing the door, when Ryder attacks me. Not in a bad way either, no, it’s in a very good way. His tongue forcefully pushes my lips apart and it enters my mouth. I love the taste of Ryder. I groan into his mouth and Ryder responds by shoving me against the wall and grinding his arousal into me. Oh God, I need him now.
“Bedroom,” I whisper into his ear. He grunts in response and is suddenly walking us towards his bedroom, while still keeping our lips engaged.
Finally, after what seems like forever, we make it to his bedroom door.
Chapter 12
Confessions
Ryder and I tumble through his bedroom door in a mass of tangled limbs and tongues. He pushes me up against the dresser and I feel the edge dig into my lower back. His lips leave heated trails down my jaw, behind my ear, ending at my collar bone.
It’s so hot my brain can’t even function. It’s like I’m in a sex fog. I want desperately to maul him and rip his clothes off and have my dirty way with him. All I can manage to do is to grasp tightly to his biceps and continue with my tongue assault on his mouth.
That’s when Ryder decides to up the ante. His rough hands caress my breasts through my shirt. He swipes my nipples with his thumbs until they become erect, sending shivers down my spine. He then puts his mouth on one of my nipples and gently tugs on it with his teeth. I moan.
“You like that?”
I nod in response.
“It’s about to get a whole lot better.”
His hands slide down my stomach and his fingers play with the edge of my low rise jeans. In the next instant, he’s opening the snap and pulling down the zipper and then his hands are in my panties. His fingers circle my clit a few times, but then he removes them and I feel two of his fingers enter between my legs.
“Fuck!” I yell, from pleasure. His fingers stop.
“That’s what I plan on doin’, babe.”
“No, I mean. Fuck! That feels a-fucking-mazing! Don’t fucking stop!”
What was up with the F-word? Did I suddenly get diagnosed with Tourette’s or something?
“I don’t plan on stoppin’,” he sa
ys, continuing the movement with his fingers and my orgasm hits and I pulse against his hand.
Before I know what’s happening, Ryder moves us from the dresser and has me at the foot of the bed. He removes my clothing in like a millisecond, and pushes me to the bed. His scorching, lustful gaze starts to fall down my naked body. All of a sudden the sex fog clears and I know I have to stop him.
“Wait! Can you turn off the lights?” I ask sounding panicked, quickly rolling to my side, trying to grab the edge of the comforter to cover my body.
“Not this shit again. I told you, I wanna see everything. I’ve thought about seeing you like this since the first fuckin’ day I laid eyes on you. Don’t ever be embarrassed to show your body to me. You’re fuckin’ gorgeous,” he states, as I still try to cover up my body.
His eyes land on my ribcage, belly and sides. That’s when I know he’s noticed my scars. The look he gives me is so intense I feel like I should get away from him. He looks dangerous. “What the fuck?” He snarls.
“They’re nothing, Ryder. Let it go,” I say.
“Babe, how did you get those fuckin’ scars? If somebody did this to you, I am gonna fuck them up!” he says in an angry growl.
Uh-Oh, Scary Ryder’s back. “I was in a car accident when I was a teenager.”
I feel the bed dip and see Ryder crawl his way up. His lips trail up my body and he places soft kisses to each of the scars on my stomach, sides and ribcage.
“Tell me.”
“I don’t think I can talk about this with you.”
“I’m yours, baby. You can tell me anything.”
“Where do I start?”
“Wherever you want, babe.”
God this is so hard, but here goes nothing.
“When I was seventeen years old, my parents and my brother Joshua and I decided to go to this new pizza place. My father and brother were suckers for pizza. It was our weekly Scott Family Night Out, which was every Friday night. We’d go out for a meal and then end up either at a movie, or bowling or head home and have a family game night. On the way to the restaurant, we stopped at a red light and when it turned green my father accelerated and pulled out into the intersection. We were slammed on the side by a transport truck that had gone through the red light. Police later discovered that the driver had just left a local bar and was totally smashed. My father and brother were killed instantly, but my mother and I survived the initial impact.” I pause, trying to hold back tears, and look at Ryder.
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