“Go on, I’m listenin’,” he says, lightly tracing his fingers on the scar below my belly button.
“I can’t remember much about the crash itself. But, I can remember coming to after the impact and hearing my mother scream in pain. There was blood everywhere. I was cut up pretty badly from shards of glass and metal from the wreckage. I went unconscious again, shortly after that.”
“What happened to the fuckin’ asshole driver?” he asks, through gritted teeth.
“He died on impact as well,” I reply.
“Motherfucker’s lucky, ‘cause I’d have to track his ass down and kill him myself.” Oh. My. God! Would he do that?
“Finish your story, Ella,” he gently orders.
“Next thing I remember was waking up about a week later in the hospital. My mother died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I was the only survivor. I couldn’t even go to their funerals because I was unconscious. Even if I had been conscious, I was too injured to attend. Other than the few memories I have of the accident, my scars are there to remind me of all that I’ve lost. I still miss them every day.” By the time I finish my story, I am sobbing so hard my body is convulsing on the bed.
“Shh, baby, it’s okay.” His eyes meet mine with what looks like sadness and understanding. Sadness, I could see, but understanding no. There’s no way that he could ever comprehend the immense feeling of loss that I’d experienced.
“Did you stay with other family members after that?”
“No, I had no other family. Luckily, my best friend through grade school and her family took me in. All of my other friends kind of abandoned me because they didn’t really understand what I was going through and felt awkward being around me. Plus, because I had scars, a lot of people thought I was a freak. Payton somewhat knew how I was feeling. She lost her father to leukemia when she was ten years old. So Payton and her mother, sister and stepfather stepped in and slightly filled that void, but they could never truly replace my family. I love them and will forever be grateful for all that they have done for me. I’m really lucky that way.”
“I’m so…happy…you had…them, baby,” he whispers, between kisses. I realize he is kissing away the hot tears on my cheeks.
“I am too.”
“You know, I understand what you went through and how you’re feelin’. Only I didn’t have people like the Clares to take care of me.”
“Seriously?”
“Yup”
“Tell me, please,” I reply while my fingers circle the nape of his neck and then tangle into the hair at the back of his head.
“You see my tat?” He asks, lifting up his left arm so I can look at the tattoo covering his bicep. Looking down, I really study the design. It’s inked in all black and depicts two staggered crosses engulfed in flames. I untangle my fingers from his hair and move them down so I can trace the outline of the crosses with my finger then slowly trail up the flames on his arm.
“It’s beautiful,” I tell him.
“It represents my parents and how I lost them,” he says, pausing for a minute before he continues.
“Like you, I lost my family tragically. I was an only child and very close to my parents. One night while I was sleepin’, the smoke alarm went off. My dad came into my bedroom and hauled my ass out of the bed. He carried me over his shoulder out into the hallway. There was so much fuckin’ smoke we could barely see two feet in front of us. He carried me down the stairs and outside. He said ‘Stay put, bud. I’m going in to get your mom.’ He told me that her first thought was of me when they were awoken by the alarm. She told dad to get me, while she got out of the house. Only thing is, she wasn’t outside waitin’ for us when we made it out. As I watched my dad head back into the house, I didn’t realize that would be the last time I would ever see him or her alive again. Both of my parents perished in the house fire.”
“How old were you?” I ask.
“Nine years old,” he answers.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you, gorgeous. I completely understand how it felt and still feels,” I say.
He rests his chin on my breast bone and his beautiful blue eyes pierce mine when he says, “I didn’t know somethin’ could hurt my heart so fuckin’ bad.”
“I wish I could have taken your hurt away, Ryder,” I say, trying to comfort him.
“Life isn’t fuckin’ fair. Sometimes shit happens and there’s nothin’ you can do about it,” he says.
“What caused the fire?”
“An investigation was done and it was determined that the fire was caused by faulty wiring. My parents had recently had renovations done to their kitchen and without knowin’ had hired less than reputable contractors.”
“What happened to you after?”
“I went from one hellish foster home to another, until I turned eighteen. I had shelter, clothes and food, but no family or love. No one gave a shit about a punk kid like me. I was trash to most of them, just somethin’ that brought extra income to the house because of the support checks. I met Axel when I was fourteen. We were placed in the same foster home and quickly became best friends. On my eighteenth birthday, Axel and I left and never looked back. The closest thing to a family that I’ve had since my parents has been Axel and Mayhem. They are my brothers and will always have my back.”
“Well you have me now too.”
“I know, and you have me.”
Holy Hell! Sweet Ryder is back.
His lips meet mine, whispering against them, “I want you.”
“Then take me,” I reply.
“I’ve never been with a virgin before, Ella. I don’t wanna hurt you.”
“You won’t. I trust you completely, baby,” I whisper against his lips.
Ryder lifts his shirt over his head and then struggles a little bit, but finally manages to remove his jeans. I shiver at the sight of his muscular body and the sexy tattoos on his neck and arms. Noticing his rather large arousal, I think that there’s no way he’s going to fit inside me His hand once again reaches between my legs and I can feel two fingers entering me.
“Damn, baby you’re so fuckin’ wet.”
“Sorry,” I wince.
“That’s a good thing. Nothin’ to apologize for. Just means you want me bad,” he says in between kisses.
Oh, I definitely want him bad, alright. I immediately blush at the thought.
That’s when Ryder’s free hand gently cups my cheek. He locks his eyes on mine and says, “There it is. What I’ve been waitin’ for. It’s just as gorgeous as I imagined.”
I don’t know what he was talking about, but I smile and nuzzle my nose into his neck anyways.
Gazing down at my body, he adds, “You’re whole body is flushed because you’re turned on. Let’s see what I can do, to keep this look on you,” he says, shooting me a wicked grin.
He continues to pump his fingers inside me aggressively, but then he removes them and does a delicious swirl with them on my clit. It feels so good, but I need more.
Almost as if Ryder can read my mind, his body moves downward and his hot mouth is between my thighs. His tongue begins to move and mimics the swirling that his fingers did earlier. When his five o’clock shadow scratches the insides of my thighs, it totally sets me off. My body tenses as an orgasm hits me hard. I try to muffle my scream by biting the pillow.
Oh God, that feels amazing! Will I ever get tired of this? I don’t think it’s possible.
Ryder lies on his back. I roll on top of him and kiss his mouth. I grab his hot erection and start to stroke up and down slowly. My strokes increase in speed, as does his breathing. When I think he’s getting close, he suddenly grabs my wrist and moans, “Ella, your hand feels amazing, but it can’t end like this.”
He takes a deep breath and continues with, “I wanna come buried deep inside of you.”
Rolling over on me he gently puts all of his weight on me and his thighs slowly part my legs, his erection softly brushes against my pussy. I love how my body ab
sorbs the heat from his body. His thumbs sweep the apples of my cheeks and he whispers into my mouth, “I’m gonna enter you now, baby.”
"Okay.” Finally
“I’m gonna go real slow, but if I hurt you, let me know. I’ll pull out no matter what. Understand?”
“Yeah.”
He puts his forehead against mine and looks me in the eye. “Eyes on mine as I take you,” he commands.
There’s nowhere else I want to be looking, at this moment. As I stare him in the eyes, he slowly enters me and I can feel myself stretch to accommodate him. When he feels resistance he thrusts a little harder just to break through my barrier. I can feel something warm trickle down my body. Oh God, is that blood?
When he does this I inhale sharply and cry out a little bit. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes again. Damn it! I knew it would hurt, but not this much. Do not cry Ella! Hold it together. I squeeze my eyes shut to fight the tears back.
Ryder stills himself and mutters against my neck, “Christ, so fuckin’ tight, baby. You okay?”
“Just give me a minute. It’s starting to feel a bit better,” I try to reassure him.
“Baby, if it’s hurtin’ too much I’ll stop. As much as I don’t fuckin’ want to, I will.”
“NO, I don’t want you to stop!” I yell.
“Okay, Okay. Take it easy. I won’t stop then,” he laughs as he says this.
“Move, please,” I plead, as the pain significantly decreases. I start to wiggle my hips beneath him, but he stills them with his hands.
“So impatient,” he murmurs against my lips. I swear I can feel his mouth form a smile against my skin. “I’m gonna move now, baby,” he warns me.
“Yes, please. I need you to move now,” I demand.
His hips rock slowly into mine and it feels amazing, but after a few minutes it’s not enough. I need more, so much more.
“Faster, Ryder!” I plead.
“So fuckin’ bossy,” he replies.
He buries his head between my shoulder and neck and starts to thrust his hips harder and faster. I buck my hips up to meet his, desperate for more friction on my clit.
“I hope you’re good to go soon, Ella. Because of how tight you’re graspin’ my dick, I don’t know how long I’m gonna last.”
One of his hands leaves my hips, goes to my stomach and moves down to touch where our bodies are connected. His fingers seek my clit and gently circle the sensitive area. The combination of Ryder’s touch and the continuous pressure of our hips thrusting together cause a slow build-up of pressure between my legs.
“Ah, fuck. I’m gonna come, Ella!” he shouts.
His movements become almost frantic and he moves both of his hands to grip my ass. Tilting my hips up at a different angle, his pelvis creates delicious friction against my clit. Ryder gently bites my shoulder, which takes me over the edge.
“Oh my God!” I scream, as another orgasm pulses through my body.
“Mine!” Ryder grunts at the same time. Then he slams inside of me one final time and I can feel his wet warmth spill inside of me, as he takes my lips in a possessive kiss.
A couple of minutes later we are lying in bed, tangled in limbs and sheets. We don’t speak because we are both struggling to catch our breath. That was fan-freakin-tastic. I want to do it again, and soon. Ryder pulls out of me and slowly rolls over on his side facing me, trailing his fingertips along my scars.
“That was fuckin’ beautiful. Thanks for givin’ it to me.”
How do I respond to that?
“What my virginity?” I ask.
“Yeah, that was beautiful, but also thanks for sharin’ your family’s story with me,” he says, kissing me softly on the lips. “SHIT!” Ryder roars, sitting up in the bed. I’m so startled by his outburst that I flinch on the bed next to him.
“What’s your problem?”
“I forgot to use a condom!”
Oh yeah, that completely slipped my mind too.
“Are you clean?”
“I’m healthy as a fuckin’ horse. I got checked out a couple of months ago, even though I use condoms all the time, without fail.”
“You forgot tonight.”
“Yeah, I forgot tonight, babe. That’s because I can’t think straight when I’m with you.”
“The feeling’s mutual. Well, you know I’m clean because I’ve never had blood transfusions, done intravenous drugs or had sex before. So it’s all good.”
“Baby, you can still get pregnant,” he says, with a worried expression.
“I’m on the pill. It’s all good.”
“Why would you be on the pill if you’re a virgin?” he asks, angrily.
“Well you see, one day last summer, I saw this smokin’ hot biker guy while I was out jogging and I couldn’t help but think about him all of the time. He told me he’d see me around, so I thought I’d be prepared in case he did,” I smirk.
“He’s a very lucky guy.” He gives me a sexy smirk back.
Ryder’s hot body starts moving away from me and off the bed.
“Where are you going?”
“To run a bath for you to soak in and then I’m gonna get you some ibuprofen. You’ll be sore tomorrow and a bath and some pain killers should help.”
Nice. Sweet Ryder is back again.
So I bathe, down the ibuprofen that Ryder left on the vanity for me and haul on a clean pair of panties with a tank top and head to bed. I pause inside the doorframe and look into the bedroom.
First thing I notice is that the sheets are changed on the bed. How embarrassing, Ryder had to change the sheets with my blood on them.
The second thing I notice makes me forget about the sheets. Ryder is stretched out on his back with one arm by his side and one curled up behind his head. I can tell he’s asleep because his mouth is relaxed and slightly parted and he is taking slow, deep breaths. What’s so striking about this is the very peaceful expression on his face as he sleeps.
I climb on the bed and lean into him, softly kissing him on the lips and whisper in his ear. “Thank you for tonight, Ryder. I love you.”
I’ve finally said the words to him out loud; maybe next time he won’t be unconscious when I say them. Ryder understands me like no other person I know.
I lay down with half of my body on top of him. I hike one of my legs over his and rest my face on his chest. I’m pretty sure that I have a peaceful expression on my face as well, when I fall asleep listening to the beat of his heart.
Chapter 13
Flowers
I wake up the next morning with Ryder’s right arm curling around my waist. I grip his hand in mine and turn his arm so that I can take a closer look at the tattoo on the inside of his forearm. It’s inked all in lower case letters and says, ‘what matters most is how well you walk through the fire’. Being a literature teacher, I know that this is the title of a book of poetry by Charles Bukowski.
Somehow, I don’t think Ryder got it for his love of poetry. It obviously has some sort of significance to the events surrounding the house fire from when he was a child. I feel slow movement behind me and then Ryder is nuzzling his nose behind my ear.
“Mornin’, babe,” he whispers.
“Morning, handsome,” I reply.
“How you feelin?” he asks.
“Amazing. Why?” I return.
“Just wonderin’ if I hurt you too much.” Mmmm. My sweet Ryder.
“I’ve never felt anything like that before Ryder, it was beautiful. Thank you,” I say.
“Babe, don’t thank me, I gotta thank you, again.”
“Well….You’re welcome.” I roll over, putting my hands on his chest and feel the contours of his abs. I love them. I lean forward and kiss his chest, wanting to do more of what we did last night, maybe a little different. Ryder rolls over on top of me, taking my mouth in a feverish, passionate kiss.
“You have to get ready for work babe, or you’re gonna be late,” he growls in my ear. I know what that sexy growl means. I
glance at the clock, hoping I have time for some before work. 7:30 am. Holy snappin’ assholes, I slept in!
“Why didn’t you wake me? I’m going to be late,” I say, jumping out of the bed and running to the bathroom. I take a quick shower and get ready for the first day of the week. Who doesn’t love Mondays? They are the worst day ever. I run into the kitchen to grab something quick to eat and see that Ryder is holding a plate full of breakfast food.
“Eat this,” he demands.
“I don’t have time. I am going to be late,” I say.
“You’re not leavin’ this house until you eat, Ella,” he says, with determination on his face.
“Can I eat it in the car?” I ask.
“Works for me,” he agrees.
“Thank you, handsome,” I say, taking the plate in my hands as I lean in and kiss him. I turn to walk away, but I am halted by Ryder’s steel arm around my waist.
“That’s not a goodbye kiss,” he says.
Oh My.
He spins me around, causing the plate to clatter on the island. Taking my face in his hands, he lays a big, fat, wet open mouth kiss on me, which leaves me wanting more, so much more.
“That’s more like it,” he growls.
“I can call in sick,” I say, knowing that I never would. The only thing that I love more than teaching is Ryder.
“Get gone or you’ll be late, babe.”
“Okay.”
“See you after work, babe,” he says as I am walking out the door.
****
My day is going wonderful so far. In my first class, we discussed the ending of Romeo and Juliet. The boys thought the ending was extreme and in reality that would never happen. The girls thought it was the most romantic thing they ever heard. I had to agree with the girls; I would do the same for Ryder if it ever came down to it. I wouldn’t be able to go on without him. Maybe that is the difference. I have found the one, and I would do anything to be with him, even giving up my own life.
Wilde Ride Page 8