Tiara- Part Two

by Robin Roseau

  There was dinner, then cleanup, which was when I finally got rid of the last of the honey. And then instruments came out. I thought about it then sent Renishta to get my clarinet, packed in with my other things.

  There was a dance. It was quite different from dances in the city, but I had fun, and I danced with anyone who asked.

  But then I collected my clarinet, moved to the side, and then began playing with the musicians. I didn’t know the songs, but I was good enough to follow them. I only played a few songs, but I thought it was good to be part of everything. I got hugs when I was done.

  I found Lyeneru. We danced a song, and then I said, “I want to talk to you about something.”

  * * * *

  I toured the region. I accepted callers, some who had things to teach me, but more who just wanted to talk. I gave everyone who wanted one hour. If I felt they had something worth more time, I gave it to them. But I decided most just wanted to know someone was listening, that someone cared, even if she couldn’t do very much to help.

  I learned everything I could, and then I announced it was time to go home.

  I met once more with Lyeneru and Rosaniya together. I told them this could all go nowhere. The Ressalines may not be as interested as I expected. But I’d keep in touch with them, and when it was time to plan our trip, I would send for them.

  We left the next morning.

  Mistake

  It was good to be home. I gave my staff a few days off, but I used the time to construct a rough offer, sending it to Lady Ambassador Cuprite via Father’s next courier. And then I prepared to focus on other things, like becoming reacquainted with Barrish. I’d hardly spent any time here in four years, and for most of that, I’d been a minor.

  Mother gave me a list of names: seven men, but I was actually rather surprised to see a woman’s name at the bottom. There were letters of greetings from each, and I asked her who they were. Only one was from Grandmother.

  “Has she been behaving?” I asked.

  “Don’t play coy with me,” Mother replied. “Ahlianna already confessed.”

  “Has she?”

  “For now.”

  “All right, then. How many have you declined?”

  “About that many.”

  “Do any of these people deserve more attention than the others?”

  “Not particularly. Ms. Robella seemed quite surprised I accepted her suit.”

  “Is it a lark?”

  “No, I don’t believe it is.”

  “All right, then. I’ll read the notes and contact each of them.”

  I began by inviting each for tea, fitting two or three in during a single afternoon. I made sure they left by a different path than they arrived, not wanting them to run into each other. The men were quite varied. Two were barely men, one of them younger than me, the other just slightly older. The oldest, a Mr. Peral Elarel, was perhaps 40 years of age. The remainder were in their mid-twenties to low-thirties.

  I actually liked all of them. Oh, there was no way I was going to marry Mr. Elarel. Well, I wasn’t going to marry any of the men. But I used the first meeting to see how I felt about them.

  Tea with Shalendra Robella invoked a different reaction from me.

  * * * *

  I was waiting for her when Renishta escorted her to me. I stood and turned to the door, and barely heard the introduction.

  Shalendra was quite beautiful. We each wore fine dresses and delicate hats. My hair was in ringlets. Hers was in a lovely braid, wrapped first around her head before heading down her back. Her hair was white, but her complexion dark and exotic, her eyes green, her features sharp.

  I beckoned, and she approached, and I discovered she was a hand’s width taller than I was as well. I looked up into her eyes and smiled. It took a moment to find my tongue. “Well.”

  “You were expecting a man.”

  “No,” I said. “Do you know the customs of Ressaline?”

  “I’m afraid I don’t.”

  “Then I will teach you one.” I taught her the greeting, the brushing of cheeks, the delicate kissing of ears. Then I took her hands and led her to her chair before taking my own. I poured tea for both of us and smiled.

  Okay, I continued to smile, but she carried her own. I sipped from the tea and then said, “I am not one to hide.”

  “Is there a reason to hide?”

  “Perhaps not. First, names. I wish to call you Shalendra, and you will call me Darfelsa.”

  “I would like that… Darfelsa.”

  “Good. Why did you offer suit?”

  “Why did you accept?”

  “I didn’t. Mother did. Answer me.”

  She nodded, and then she reached for her little purse. She opened it and withdrew a thin piece of paper. “Is that from Dennaholst?” I asked.

  “It is. Do you know it?”

  “I can guess.”

  “Is it accurate?”

  I held out my hand. She offered the paper. It was an article I hadn’t read. I folded it and handed it back. “It is based on truth, but the details are entirely wrong.”

  “But you had a relationship with this woman, the prime minister’s daughter?”

  “Yes. Are you going to tell everyone?”

  “No.” She put the paper away. “My family has business in Gandeet.”

  “Oh?”

  “General trade. This was wrapped around a particularly lovely pewter candlestick, and it caught my eye.”

  “Why was it wrapped around a candlestick?”

  “People often use discarded papers as packing material.”

  “Oh. Of course. I thought it was some sort of message.”

  “No, no. Random chance.” She gestured to the purse. “Has the relationship ended?”

  “She isn’t here. If she decides to follow me, she’ll petition Mother.”

  “She must offer suit?”

  “It is the way of things,” I said. “For me, at least. You haven’t really answered my question.”

  “This planted a seed,” she said. “The idea grew. I decided the worst that was likely was I would be denied. Why did your mother accept?”

  “I told her I wouldn’t give the men two minutes of my time if she didn’t accept the women.”

  “And here I thought I might be special.”

  “You are: you were brave enough to put yourself forward.”

  “And you appear to like what you see.”

  “And that you were brave,” I added.

  And then we talked, about this, about that. She was intelligent, educated, and well-read. Our hour passed, and Renishta came to invite me to my next appointment. There was no next appointment, but I told her to cancel anyone less important than my family.

  Shalendra smiled broadly at that. “Was that a real appointment?”

  “No.”

  She nodded, and we continued to talk.

  The tea grew well-cold. I didn’t care. And then Renishta was back, which annoyed me. “I’m sorry, Your Highness. Your mother inquires if you are available. No urgency was indicated.”

  “That I probably shouldn't ignore,” I said. “Tell her I will be five minutes.”

  “Yes, Your Highness.”

  Once the door closed, she asked, “Could I ask a question?”

  “Of course.”

  “If the prime minister’s daughter appears tomorrow, what will happen?”

  “If I wish the support of my family, I must take this slowly, either with her or any woman. And I must be seen to consider other choices.”

  “And is that why I am here, so you are so seen?”

  “No. That’s why the men are here. I haven’t figured out what to do about them yet.”

  “You could consider me seriously?”

  “I very, very much hope you will continue your suit,” I declared. “But it will be a slow suit.”

  “How slow?”

  “We may grow close as we choose, but publicly, I must not appear rash. That is the danger when offeri
ng suit to a princess of Flarvor.”

  “I can be patient, but I do not wish to be used for form.”

  I stood, pulled her to her feet, and then stepped very closely. “If you do not stop me, I am about to kiss you.”

  “I’m not going to stop you, Darfelsa,” she said, her tone dusky and inviting.

  I lifted my hand to the back of her head. She set fingers on my cheek. We came together, and it was as good as any first kiss I’d ever received. When it ended, we stood there, forehead to forehead, panting lightly.

  “That didn’t feel like a kiss for form,” she whispered.

  “Don’t make me wait,” I said.

  Then I took her hand and led her from the room. Renishta was waiting for me. She took a look and said, “Ms. Robella, if you will wait down the hall, I will show you out.” Then Renishta stepped to me. “She’s beautiful, Darfelsa.” She worked on my appearance for a minute and smiled. “It was a good kiss.”

  “It was.”

  “Good. Your mother is in her office.”

  “Thank you.”

  * * * *

  I sat down across from Mother, still thinking about Shalendra. She gave me a minute then said, “I take it I should keep her on the list.”

  “You knew she was still here.”

  “Do you need a chaperone?”

  “No.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I will give the men all due attention,” I said. “That’s our deal. Why did you interrupt?”

  “Was it a nice kiss?”

  “Could you answer my question?”

  “You had a nice kiss and, I presume, promises against the future. But you can’t show favorites this early.”

  “Mother, you know I have no intention of marrying any of the men. You must understand that.”

  “Yes, I understand that.”

  “So I’m supposed to lead them on?”

  “If you give each of them a little attention, and then tell them you enjoy their company but don’t see a future, then you will have done your duty.”

  “Mr. Elarel is 40 years old.”

  “He came to me personally. He was once very kind to me. Let him have a few evenings. For me.”

  “Mother, that’s not a favor.”

  “Yes, it is. It means that in spite of his age, you feel kindly towards him.”

  “I don’t like this game. It seems dishonest.”

  “Don’t think about it as searching for a husband or consort; think about it as an extension of your social calendar. And if you want to tell the gentlemen that’s what you’re doing, you may.”

  “I might mention I’m doing it primarily to please you.”

  She went through the motions of pouring fresh tea, setting a cup within my reach. We both sipped and then, simultaneously, put our cups down. “Darfelsa, we lead very privileged lives.” I knew that was only an introduction, so I simply waited. “With that privilege come certain responsibilities and obligations.”

  I understood all that. “Do I have the duty to marry outside my wishes?”

  “No.”

  “Mother, I will attend to my social obligations. That isn’t the problem. But dishonesty is.”

  “That isn’t quite it though, is it?” she asked. “You smile when you are angry. You offer sweet words when you would rather speak your mind. We all engage in certain social niceties.”

  “This isn’t a social nicety.”

  “I told you to be honest with your suitors. Let them decide for themselves how they feel about it.”

  “It’s an act for appearances.” I sighed. “Okay. I didn’t want to be dishonest with them, but I don’t like this act.”

  Together, we picked up our tea and sipped. I watched her thinking about it. And then, together, we set our cups back down again. She looked me in the eye and said, “And this is yet another reason why I love you so much, my daughter.”

  In those words, she fully disarmed me. Oh, I knew she loved me, but in those words, she not only reminded me, but she also told me she understood. She understood why I was frustrated, why we’d been at cross purposes. “I love you, too,” I said.

  “Let’s talk through this,” she said. “Your father and I have already agreed you will not be pressured to marry. However, that does not mean we will necessarily approve a match if we do not feel it is in your best interests.”

  “You kept Shalendra on the list. Is that to appease me?”

  “No. Darfelsa, I think this can be simple. Don’t make it an act.”

  “Actually consider them?”

  “No. Do what I already suggested. Tell them you see them as an enhancement to your social schedule, and that you enjoy their company, but that’s all you’re doing.”

  “Yes, but…”

  “And let anyone else who wishes come to his own conclusions.”

  I thought about what she said then picked up my tea. This time, it was on my schedule, but Mother mirrored me. We sipped, and when I set mine down, Mother topped us both off. I picked mine up and sipped again.

  “And if anyone else asks?” I finally asked, setting my cup back down.

  “Tell them you are following the wishes of your mother, but then state your relationships are your business. I will support you.”

  “The lords have expectations.”

  She made a noise I didn’t often hear from her. “Lords always have expectations. Conveniently, those expectations are rarely aligned with each other.”

  “They expect me to marry one of their sons.”

  “Not exactly. They expect you to marry the man they each pick, but if you get twenty lords in one room, they will have at least fifteen different men in mind, almost certainly including five or ten in the room, regardless of age. Their inability to come to anything remotely near consensus is to your advantage. They would rather you marry someone outside of politics than to marry against the wrong favors.”

  I sipped the tea. Mother sipped hers. This time, when she set hers down, I continued to cradle mine. “Darfelsa, here is what I want. I have not decided if I will insist, but I very well may.” I inclined my head. “You will marry someone who will support your goals. Your consort or spouse, as you choose, will be the one to compromise. You may be supportive of his or her goals, but not in compromise against your own. If you didn’t intend to take a place in your sister’s government, I might soften that position.”

  “I think you’re right, Mother.”

  “Darfelsa, we’re on the same side. But understand that your father and I will be spending time with anyone you show special interest, and we will make sure he or she understands the situation.”

  “Am I making mistakes?”

  “We all make mistakes, but I couldn’t be prouder of you and the decisions you’re making. It was hard to let you go north, but I support your goal, and I couldn’t teach you what Allium could.”

  “I think I need more of your lessons, though.”

  “I think you have taken my lessons to heart. However, I believe it is time for you and your sister to begin to host events here without me. The three of us will discuss that.”

  “All right.”

  “Do you feel better?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Good.” She smiled. “She’s lovely, isn’t she?”

  “I like her, Mother, but if Flame arrives…”

  “If Flame arrives, I will talk to her myself.”

  “You will put her on my list.”

  “If I am uncomfortable, you and I will talk about it. Are you going to fight me?”

  “If you send her away, we will.”

  “Let us not worry about that unless it looks imminent,” Mother said. “If Flame arrives, and if I approve, then she goes on your list, but that becomes a slow process.”

  We’ll see, I thought. “I understand, Mother.”

  “All right, then,” she said. “How did you leave it with each of them?”

  “I was non-committal with the men. I asked Shalendra not to ke
ep me waiting.”

  “So there should be a fresh invitation soon. It would be appropriate to write notes, thanking each for coming and expressing anticipation of future encounters. You may begin telling them whatever you like, but not in writing.”

  “Of course.”

  “Well then.” She picked up her tea.

  * * * *

  I wrote my notes. I attended events around Barrish. And my next encounter with Mr. Elarel was typical of all of the others with the men.

  He invited me to a performance. I dressed in a white and gold evening gown with coordinated opera gloves. My ears and neck glittered, and my hair was just so.

  “Perfect,” Mother declared me.

  I examined my image in the mirror then thanked the two maids who had helped me to prepare. “You’ve outdone yourselves.”

  They offered curtsies and slipped away quietly. I turned to Mother. She was beaming at me. “My youngest is all grown up. Come down to the library in ten minutes. Do you need me to send someone in to keep you company?”

  “I have some reading.” I waited for her to depart. I decided it was a mistake to sit before he’d seen me, and so I read standing up. Then I checked my appearance one more time before setting aside the report.

  Mariya was waiting in the hallway. I came to a stop facing her. She smiled. “You look quite lovely.”

  “Why don’t I ever see you with a young man?”

  “Because you’re not my guard, and I keep my affairs to myself,” she said. “Don’t worry about me. I have as full a social life as I want. Shall we?” And she offered her arm, and that was how we descended together.

  Mother and Mr. Elarel were seated in the library. They both stood as I entered. Mariya escorted me in but then stepped to the corner near the door. I took two steps further and came to a stop, smiling. “Good evening, Peral.”

  “Good evening, Your Highness.”

  That was when I crossed the room. I offered Mother a small greeting, but she slipped away without a word. I gave Peral a longer greeting, then kept hold of one of his hands. He looked down at my gloved hand, then up at me. He was clearly a little undone, which was quite flattering. “I trust you are well,” I told him.

  “Very well, Your Highness.”

  “Peral, when I use your first name, it is a signal. I rather thought you knew that.”