Tiara- Part Two

by Robin Roseau

  It was the following month that Ahlianna was asked to officiate for a wedding. She had already thought about it and said, “That’s my sister. Contact her office.”

  My office was inundated with requests. We decided that while my schedule could probably see more weddings than that, I would accept one a month after the one I’d already promised, and no more during Open Court. Beyond that, I asked my staff to handle the details, saying only, “There will be no preference based on social standing. Friends can see me separately.”

  When I talked to Lyndis, she said, “Ms. Robella was beside you for the one in the palace. I’ll be beside you for the next one.” And so, she was.

  And then spring arrived, and my departure for Charth wasn’t far off.

  Letter

  I stared at the letter. I recognized the hand, even if I hadn’t seen Flame’s seal upon the back.

  Finally, I sighed and broke the seal. Inside was a single sheet of quality stationery, folded once. I opened it.

  My dearest Darfelsa,

  I’m sorry.

  I’ve been torn in two. I’ve been torn between wanting to run to you, and leaving so much behind.

  I went to Charth. I bet that surprises you. Your sister told me that if I were serious, I would go to Charth first, and then come to you. She said that would put me firmly ahead of anyone else. It was… quite an experience.

  But I was utterly homesick. Oh, not while I was hers, but afterwards. I was going to head south, once I recovered, but I was sick with missing my parents, my brother. I went home instead.

  And that made me sick, too, because I meant to hurry to you.

  Darfelsa, I am so sorry. I love you. But I love my parents. I love my brother and my friends. And I love my city. My grandparents are old, and I don’t want to be three weeks away when they die.

  I am sick writing this, but I am sicker at the thought of leaving everyone else behind.

  I’m so, so sorry.

  Flame

  I read it twice. And then I got up and stepped to my office door. “Ms. Pelonden,” I said. Then my voice cracked. “Renishta.”

  “Darfelsa,” she said, scurrying to hurry to me. “What’s wrong?”

  “Can you find my sister? I’ll come to her. Just find out where she is.”

  “Of course. Are you all right?”

  “Flame will not be coming to visit,” I said.

  “I’m sorry,” she replied. And then she stepped to me, and I let her hold me, laying my head on her shoulder. “I had stopped hoping for you,” she whispered.

  “I thought I had, too,” I replied. “Don’t tell Ahlianna. Just find her. I don’t want to meet her here. I’m going to my quarters.”

  * * * *

  Ahlianna came to me. She took one look. “What happened?”

  I gestured to the note, sitting on the writing desk in my outer room. She stepped over and picked it up. I turned my back on her. It was a minute later before I heard her set the note back on the desk, and then I felt her hands on my shoulders. “Are you angry with me?”

  “Was it good advice you gave her?”

  “I thought it was. She should have been here by the end of the summer.”

  I started crying, then turned and buried my face against Ahlianna’s shoulder. She wrapped around me. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  “I gave up months ago,” I said. “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

  “Yes, you do,” Ahlianna replied.

  “I don’t understand. I spent three years in Charth. It’s not any closer.”

  “You came home far more often than she would have visited her family,” Ahlianna said. “And you always knew it wasn’t forever. And Darfelsa, you and I have been raised with a particular attention to our duty.”

  “Her family couldn’t have pushed her towards me any harder than they did, and I don’t think it was just an attempt to mollify me during negotiations. Maybe it was.”

  “Maybe it was, but I don’t believe that, and neither do you.”

  “Her family would have been good in-laws.”

  “Far away?” Ahlianna asked.

  “That’s not even funny!”

  “It’s a little funny,” she said.

  I pushed away from her. She let me go, but the look she gave me was kindness. “Why do I keep doing this?”

  “You love easily,” she replied. “Don’t stop. There’s a little temporary pain, but your life has been richer for the people you’ve had in it, even if some of them are no longer sharing your bed.”

  “Will you write her for me? Thank her for finally telling me.” I paused. “Don’t be too pointed about it.”

  “I’ll take care of it.”

  I offered a ragged laugh. “What?” Ahlianna asked.

  “They better not give Father reasons to send me back again; they won’t have an alluring woman to dangle in front of me.”

  She smiled. “We both know that’s not how those problems were solved, Darfelsa.”

  “No, but it was a lot more fun that way.”

  “Yes, I imagine it was.”

  Disclosure

  There was a ball, this time hosted by Gentendar Roddish, the Foreign Minister. Lyndis attended with me, and we had a lovely time. In the carriage later, she turned to me. “Take me to the palace. I want to talk to you.”

  I smiled and gave the order.

  For the ride, she was quiet. We held hands. Upon reaching the palace, I started to bring us to the library, but she shook her head. “Your quarters.”

  I smiled broadly, and we shifted our direction.

  Upon arriving, she dropped my hand, and then I watched as she explored. She hadn’t been here since that first time, but she ended in my bedroom, then stood, waiting for me, facing the window. I stepped up behind her and set my hands on her shoulders, then kissed the back of her neck.

  “Darfelsa.” She turned to me, and we ended with my hands still on her shoulders, hers resting on my arms. “I’m not sure what to do. Not about…” She gestured to the bed. “And other things.”

  “Lyndis,” I said. “We don’t need to do anything.”

  “I want…” She trailed off. Then she offered a ragged laugh. “I want to get out of this gown, but then I want to talk.”

  “I can help with that.”

  We partially undressed each other, exchanging little kisses as we did so, but I could feel nervous energy radiating from her, and so I didn’t treat it like a seduction. I saw to both gowns and then stepped to her. She took my hands, looked around, then laughed again before walking to the bed, pulling me behind her. We moved up the bed, but only to sit against the headboard. I adjusted pillows for both of us, and we ended up holding hands, seated side-by-side.

  “I don’t know what to do,” she declared again.

  “I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but I think you’re talking about love between two women, but more than that.”

  “Yes,” she said. She turned her head to look at me.

  “Well, let me address the easy part. If you decide that you wish to experience lovemaking with me, then I can guide us.”

  “I know,” she whispered.

  “We don’t need to do anything. Or we don’t need to do everything.”

  “I think that’s one of the things I want to talk about.” She lowered her eyes. “I don’t think I’m ready for… everything. I want to be, but…”

  “But you were raised like I was, that you do not lie with a man who is not your husband. It’s not the same when it’s two women.”

  “You can’t get me pregnant then toss me into the street.”

  “Right.” I kept my tone as gentle as I could. “Lyndis…”

  “I know things I want,” she said quietly. She lifted her eyes to mine. “I want to be here with you. I want you to invite me to stay the night.”

  “I’d like that. Lyndis, are you afraid I won’t consider you seriously if you don’t give yourself to me?”

  “Yes.”

  “
Lyndis,” I said, a little reproachfully.

  “I know she stays nights,” Lyndis said, a little hotly. “And I know she is going to Ressaline with you. You didn’t even give me a chance.”

  “I had already invited her.”

  “You could bring us both.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “I’m running a distant second. I’m prettier than she is. I have better contacts than she does. But I’m fairly sure you aren’t taking me at all seriously.”

  “And you think doing things with me that you clearly don’t want to do is going to change that?”

  Her eyes flashed. “I have never said I don’t want to. What kind of fool would I be, to pursue this if I didn’t… want you?”

  “I didn’t speak clearly. You are uncomfortable with taking the physical aspects further unless we’re married.”

  “And I’m here asking you to help me anyway,” she said. “I’m here in my underthings, sitting on your bed, asking you to help me, Darfelsa. Do you want me?”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “But you want her more.”

  I slid from the bed, moving faster than she could react, leaving her there. She didn’t try to follow me. I moved to the window, very aware she remained on my bed. “I didn’t want to do it this way,” I said. “There have been women. One in Charth. Another in Dennaholst.” She didn’t say anything. “Ultimately, neither of them was willing to follow me.”

  “I bet neither of them was a simple sword maker.”

  “No. Glass maker.”

  “Oh. The other?”

  “The prime minister’s daughter.”

  “That would have been a good match.”

  “Politically,” I agreed. “And we were good together, but it was her town.” I turned. “You said you don’t know what to do, but do you know what you want?”

  “You,” she said. “I want you.”

  “And the life?”

  “And the life,” she confirmed.

  “The palace. The gowns. The events. Being on my arm.”

  “Yes, I want that,” she said. “But I’m not being false when I say I want you, Darfelsa.”

  “I never thought you were,” I replied. “But I’m a package.”

  “I like the package.”

  “You haven’t seen all of it.”

  “Are we talking about sex?”

  “No, although I suppose that’s part of it, too. But no, we’re talking about… Lyndis, you’ve seen me when I’m here. You’ve seen my life when I’m here. But Ahlianna and I have talked. We’ve agreed. She has declared me as her problem-solver. I’ll be here half time, maybe, maybe not. I guess we’ll see. But in the last five years, I’ve spent less than a year of it here.”

  “You were based away. Is that what you expect?”

  “No. We talked about that, too. I’ll be dispatched to solve problems, but then come back, ready to solve the next problem. That’s to be my life. Months here but months away.”

  “We’d be apart.”

  “I’d rather you went with me.”

  “Don’t you want children?”

  “Yes. I would carry the first one. Politics. We’d discuss after that.”

  “I want to carry at least one,” she said.

  “Then you would. I guess we wouldn’t be discussing whether you carried any, but whether I carried more than one.”

  “And you expect us to leave our children here? Or would they go with us?”

  “I suppose they might. Or they may foster with my sister.”

  “The queen.”

  “Or the future queen, but yes. You haven’t seen any of this, Lyndis.”

  “And I’m not going to, either. You’re going away to Ressaline, and you’re not taking me with you.”

  “I hadn’t even met you when those plans came to be. It was last summer.”

  “And now I’m left behind. We haven’t even talked about it.”

  “I suppose we’re talking about it now.”

  “You’re not taking me seriously.”

  “We’re going in circles.”

  “Only because you’re not taking me seriously!”

  I stalked to the bed, looking down at her. “You’re getting as much time as Shalendra.”

  “No, I am not,” she said. “By my guess, I’m getting less than half as much.”

  “I alternate, or as closely as I can.”

  “Yes, but then I go home, and she stays here.”

  “And you want that to stop, because you’re not comfortable with it.”

  “No, I don’t want it to stop!” She looked away, folding her arms. “But I don’t know what to do, Darfelsa. I don’t know if I should just…” And then she spread her legs widely.

  “You must really think I’m a cad.”

  She pulled her legs up and hugged her knees. “I don’t think a single bad thought about you, Darfelsa. Not one.” She turned back to look at me. “I reserve the bad thoughts for myself.”

  “I don’t think that’s deserved.”

  “Please sit with me,” she said, patting the bed. So I did, but not against the headboard, but facing her, one leg bent up, the other dangling off the edge of the bed. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “Do you want to be here, right now?”

  “Yes,” she said.

  “With reservations?”

  “No.”

  “All right,” I said. I took her hands. “What else?”

  “I like kissing you,” she said. “But then I get excited, and that scares me. What if I’m making a huge mistake?”

  “Being with me?”

  “Getting excited. What if I make poor choices?”

  “What if… Those are scary words,” I replied. “What if I take a little encouragement too far?”

  “I don’t think you would.”

  “I wouldn’t do a single thing to force you or pressure you,” I said. “But if you were encouraging me, I’d do anything you encouraged.”

  “So if I encouraged you to kiss my feet, you would?”

  “Try it and we’ll see.”

  “Now you’re joking.”

  “Try it.”

  “Fine.” She pushed her feet out and gestured. “Kiss my feet.”

  I didn’t wait. Grinning, I threw my leg over her, spinning around so I was facing the other way, and then I sat down, pinning her legs to the bed. Lyndis began screeching. “I was teasing!”

  “I’m not,” I said, looking over my shoulder. Then I bent over.

  “Princess Darfelsa!” she complained.

  I gently grabbed one foot, then I looked backwards, down my bent body to her. “Are you going to consider this assault?”

  “No. You’re not really going to kiss my feet.”

  “I’m sure you’re right,” I said. And then I turned back and kissed the tip of her big toe.

  “Princess Darfelsa!” she exclaimed again.

  I kissed each toe, then I grabbed the other foot and held it, kissing the toes. Then I bent the feet forward so I could kiss the arches. Finally, I straightened, looking over my shoulder at her.

  Her eyes were lidded now, her lips parted. I didn’t grin, but instead I asked, “More?”

  She paused then nodded. And so I bent. And kissed, long, slow, lingering kisses, until I finally turned around again, shifting about until I was seated on her legs, but this time facing her.

  “You kissed my feet.”

  “You told me to.”

  “You knew I was teasing.”

  “You liked it.”

  “Why did you do that?”

  “You told me to,” I repeated.

  “And you knew I was teasing, but you did it anyway. Why?”

  “You’re in my bed, halfway to naked,” I said. “And you… needed a little levity. The entire conversation needed a little levity.” I worked my way up a little then sat back again. Then I collected one hand, lifting it. I kissed the back. I turned it over and kissed the palm. I focused on the hand, b
ut I heard her breath catch, and then again as I kissed the tip of each finger.

  Then I looked at her. And she traded hands with me. I smiled and treated that one twice as sweetly as I had the first.

  “Darfelsa,” she whispered. “You’re being very sweet.”

  “I’m glad you think so.” I kissed the palm again, then teased her hand with my teeth. She giggled nervously but didn’t pull away. But I looked into her eyes. “It took me a long time. A long time. Gretchena and I were having sleepovers practically forever before we were touching here.” I touched fingers to the top of my breast through the covering cloth. “It didn’t happen all at once. It was touches, then more touches, until I couldn’t stand it anymore. And that was when she showed me how wonderful it is. Lyndis, we don’t need to do any more than we have.”

  “What if… I’m really bad.”

  “What if I am?”

  “I bet you aren’t.”

  “Maybe not,” I agreed. “I’ve had teachers.”

  “I want you to take me to Ressaline with you.”

  “Oh, my,” I said. “Do you know what you’re suggesting?”

  “Of course, I do. We’d both go with you. Her. And me. Do you ride or take a carriage? Would we go all the way to Ressaline City? How long will we be gone?”

  “I’m going to kiss you,” I said. “And then I’m going to sit beside you, holding your hand, and if you don’t run away, screaming in terror, I’ll be surprised.”

  “Why?”

  “Why am I going to kiss you?” I smiled. “Because I want to.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Let’s start with the kiss.” I moved closer, and closer, until we came together. And I touched, as well, and she touched me, but it was tame. I didn’t want to scare her. That could wait a few minutes. So we kissed and touched, but nothing we hadn’t already done, except we were wearing less clothing than we had in the past.

  And she gave a little whimper and pulled me into a hug. I hugged back, but then I climbed from her and settled beside her. Then I considered, got off the bed, and jerked the covers out from under her. She complained, laughed, complained some more, then wriggled around while I worked on it. I climbed back in and pulled the covers back over both of us, dislodging them terribly so they could be tucked under our chins. I got us both tucked in really good, pressed side to side, and then took her hand.