by Norah Simone
“Hey Tabby Cat!” Ryan greeted Tabitha.
She smiled. Katie was one of the only people who called her that, but she didn't mind Ryan using her special nickname.
“Hey Ryan.”
“Ready for awesomeness?”
Tabitha laughed and nodded vigorously. She was ready to have fun, unwind, and get her mind off the recent events in her life. If nothing else, she wanted to pretend to be normal, just for a little while.
Ryan stuck out his elbow for Tabitha to grab and the two giggled as they pranced down the sidewalk to Ryan's nearby house. He lived just two blocks from the school in a quiet neighborhood.
“Mostly retired people live here,” Ryan explained as he waved to one of his neighbors. “We're actually the only family with kids.”
Ryan lived with his mom, dad, and three sisters. His oldest sister, who was 18, had a son who also lived with them.
“Dylan's 1,” Ryan told Tabitha as the duo entered the house. “My sister's boyfriend left her as soon as he found out she was pregnant, but Dylan's part of the family now and I can't imagine life without the little noisemaker.”
“Noisemaker” was an accurate way to describe Dylan, Tabitha quickly discovered. She was bombarded with plenty of noise, greetings, and hugs as she stepped into the warm house. A fire burned in the corner fireplace, casting a mystical glow over the room.
“I'm Abby,” one girl hugged Tabitha. “It's so nice to meet you.”
A smaller girl who had two bright yellow braids trailing down her back said her name was Anna.
Ryan's third and oldest sister, Kathy, was at work, but her son baby Dylan was at home with the girls and he toddled up to Tabitha with open arms.
“Aw, what a cutie.” Tabitha bent down to pick up the little boy. She hugged him tightly and breathed in deeply. He smelled like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and warm milk. His hands were sticky as he hugged her momentarily before wiggling away with a snarky giggle.
“He loves new people,” Abby offered with a grin before she left to follow the toddler.
“We babysit after school,” Anna told Tabitha. “Kathy has to work so we help out with the little guy. It's pretty fun and it's good practice for when we grow up and have kids.”
“Yeah, but that had better be a long time down the road,” Ryan joked.
“Yeah, yeah. I know. No dating 'til I'm 30. You already told me.”
“How old are you now?” Tabitha asked.
“I'm 12 and Abby's 14, almost 15.”
“Oh, I didn't realize we were the same age.”
“Yeah, but you're probably more mature than Abby,” Anna said with a laugh.
“Hey!” Called Abby from the adjacent room. “I heard you!”
Anna erupted in giggles and scurried to the other room to chat with her sister.
“Let's get out of here,” Ryan grabbed Tabitha's hand and led her down a flight of carpeted stairs to the basement. The family room was large and comfortable. Two large couches sat in the center of the room facing a large television. Board games were piled and tossed around the room. Several large bookshelves lined the walls and were filled with all kinds of textbooks and novels. Ryan grinned at Tabitha's excited reaction to the books.
“Impressed? I thought you might be. You did tell me you were kind of a bookworm.”
Tabitha smiled warmly and dropped her backpack to the floor before examining the bookshelves. There was an entire bookcase full of Nancy Drew and Hardy Boy mysteries. Another bookshelf held books entirely in foreign languages. Yet another bookcase offered textbooks and workbooks.
“Leftover from when we were home schooled,” Ryan explained. “Plus, my dad just loves to read. He went back to college a few years ago to get his Master's degree and instead of selling his books at the end of each semester, he just saved them down here.”
“What do your parents do?”
“Dad's an accountant. My mom works at a bookstore.”
“That's cool. She must like that since you guys love to read.”
“Yeah, she gets a discount so it seems like most of her paycheck goes toward financing her reading habit.”
The two laughed for a moment before Ryan motioned Tabitha to one of the couches.
“Have a seat and I'll grab us a couple of drinks before we start studying.”
Tabitha allowed her body to sink into the soft cushions of the couch. The couch was so wonderful that it seemed to envelop her body and eat her alive. She didn't mind at all. The soft feeling of the throw pillows that had been haphazardly tossed around the sofa enveloped her even more, and Tabitha closed her eyes for a moment.
“Just for a minute,” she told herself. “Just until he gets back with the sodas.”
But soon Tabitha's eyes grew even heavier, and before Ryan returned she had drifted into a deep slumber.
Chapter 11
“Way up! Way up!”
Tabitha's eyes popped open at the sound of baby Dylan's squeaky voice next to her ear. His tiny hands waved at her excitedly.
“Way up!” He repeated.
“I am awake now,” Tabitha rubbed her eyes. She still felt a bit groggy and she wondered how long she had been asleep for. A young woman, whom Tabitha assumed was Ryan's older sister, Kathy, sat on the floor across from Dylan.
“Come here, pumpkin,” she called to him warmly. The girl smiled at Tabitha. “I'm Kathy,” she told her, confirming Tabitha's suspicions. “Ryan had to go to a meeting at school, but I'd be happy to give you a ride home if you need one.”
Tabitha nodded. “That would be great. I should probably get going. What time is it, anyway?”
“Almost 7.”
Tabitha looked shocked. “Oh, man, my mom is going to freak out.”
“Oh, no, it's okay,” Kathy assured her. “Ryan called your mom from your phone while you were asleep and let her know what happened. She said it was okay not to wake you, so she's not worried.”
Tabitha sighed with relief. She would have felt guilty if Mom had been unnecessarily worried about her safety.
“Well, let's get you home, kiddo.” Kathy lifted Dylan up onto her hip and began walking upstairs to the living room, where she dressed the boy in his warm winter jacket and mittens. Dylan smiled and laughed as he clapped his hands together. Kathy slipped on her own coat before running outside to start the car.
“I want to give it a few minutes to warm up,” she explained to Tabitha. “It's a good car, but it's old, and sometimes it needs a few minutes before it's ready to go.”
Tabitha didn't mind. She took a few minutes to examine and admire the many family pictures that lined the entryway of the Shwartz's home. One row of pictures was displayed in chronological order beginning with Ryan's parents' wedding portrait. The couple looked very happy as they held hands in front of a tiny white church. Mrs. Shwartz's hair was pinned back in a neat, tight bun and Mr. Shwartz wore a snow white tuxedo. Their smiles seemed to stretch to the skies as they saw only bright days in their future. Tabitha wondered for a moment what made some marriages work and some fail. It seemed like they all began so happily, but somewhere along the journey some just broke down. She felt pained for a moment and slightly jealous that Ryan's family seemed so perfect, but she brushed off the thought as Kathy returned and said she was ready to take Tabitha home.
The ride home was short. Dylan sat in the backseat of the car in his car seat and happily ate a few crackers that Kathy had given him. Kathy entertained Tabitha with stories of growing up and told her a few silly things that Ryan had said and done as a child.
“Dylan really reminds me of Ryan as a kid. He's always having adventures and always curious about everything he sees. He really keeps me on my toes. I just hope he grows into as good a man as Ryan is.”
“Ryan is pretty nice,” Tabitha agreed. She paused a moment before deciding to ask a more personal question. “So, is being a mom really hard? Like, is it really scary?”
“You know, it really is. My mom always told me growing up th
at it was one of the hardest jobs in the world, but you don't realize how true that is until you have your own kid. You always think about your child all the time. You wonder if they're safe, what they're doing, what they're eating, if they're washing their hands, all that stuff. When I was pregnant I was scared all the time that something would be wrong or that something would happen during his birth and he'd get hurt or something. Now that he's old enough to be able to run around and climb and actually get hurt, I'm definitely even more worried.” Kathy paused for a minute to catch her breath.
Dylan laughed in the back seat and clapped his hands, and Kathy continued. “I actually pray a lot. I'm not a really religious girl, as you might have figured, but I'm constantly asking for protection for my baby. It's hard when I can't be around him all the time. Like, even at work I'm thinking about him all the time.”
As Kathy spoke, Tabitha wondered if her own mother worried about her as much as Kathy worried about little Dylan. Surely things had been easier for Mom raising Tabitha. After all, Dad had been there for a long time. He had always seemed far more protective and concerned than Mom. Dad was the one who had urged Tabitha to wear knee and elbow pads while roller skating or riding her bike. Mom had taken a more relaxed approach to parenting, allowing Tabitha to frequently make her own mistakes and errors and to learn from those bad decisions.
Tabitha wondered how Mom felt about being away from her all the time now. The two had been inseparable as long as Tabitha could remember, and while she herself had adjusted to public school without much difficulty or pain, she now began to wonder if Mom missed the closeness the two had shared.
“Did your mom worry about each of guys equally?” Tabitha queried, “You know, since there are so many of you?”
“I don't really know. I know she worried a lot about me because I was her first kid. I think most parents feel that way about their first child because it's a new experience. The second kid is usually a little bit easier because you know what to expect and you know that it's normal for kids to make silly choices that don't make sense. You know it's normal to have scrapes and bumps and bruises, but I think you still worry, at least a little bit.”
Kathy stopped speaking as the car screeched to a stop in front of Tabitha's house.
“Sorry,” Kathy said apologetically. “I call it the sqeak-mobile because it's so loud all the time.”
“It's okay. I don't mind at all – really! Thanks for the ride. It was nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too, Tabitha! See you later. And hey, give your mom an extra special hug when you see her. I'm sure she missed you this afternoon.”
Tabitha nodded to Kathy and waved goodbye to Dylan before turning to enter her house. She felt relaxed and alert after her lengthy nap, but was a little disappointed that she hadn't spent time with Ryan as planned. Kathy was a good conversationalist, for sure, and she left the car feeling like she had learned some new things about Ryan and his family. Tabitha's stomach began to growl as she opened the front door and smelled a warm aroma wafting from the kitchen.
“Mom!” Tabitha called out as she closed the front door behind her. “I'm home!”
“In the kitchen, Sweetie.”
Tabitha hurried to the kitchen as quickly as possible and was excited to find that Mom had actually cooked a delicious dinner. No take out tonight!
“I waited to eat with you so we could talk about our days.”
Tabitha smiled. Mom had missed her. Dropping her book bag on the floor by the table, Tabitha ran to Mom and gave her a big hug.
“I'm glad you're home. Sorry I was so late. I fell asleep.”
“I know you did, Sweetie, and it's okay. I'm not mad. I was just a little worried about you since you're never late.”
“Hey Mom?”
“Yes, Tabby?”
“Thanks for always taking care of me.”
Tabitha didn't know then that her warm feelings of appreciation would soon disappear and be replaced with anxiety and angst towards her mother. She couldn't imagine feeling anything but peaceful contentedness with this relationship. After all, Mom was the one who had stayed. She was the faithful one. The loyal parent who was steadfast and true. Despite all odds, Mom was now a successful career woman and a positive role model who always had time for Tabitha.
Tabitha soaked in the feeling of togetherness as she hugged her mother close. She smelled Mom's sweet tangy body spray. “Orange Tangerine” was Mom's favorite scent. Dad had bought her a big bottle last Christmas and Mom wore it every day without fail. Even now, in the midst of turmoil and changes, it was something Tabitha could depend on, and she clung to it.
Chapter 12
Tabitha spent the evening working on a short story for her literature class. She was still anxiously waiting to receive her last essay back from the instructor, but working on her next project gave her something to focus her attention and energy on. Her story was very brief and featured a futuristic theme. Tabitha became very absorbed in her work and let herself become part of the story as she wrote. She flew to the highest heights and swam in the deepest oceans. The heroine of the story was brave, strong, and courageous: everything Tabitha wanted to be. Finally, satisfied with her work, she decided to print out her story and head to bed.
Tabitha headed downstairs to use the printer in the office. As she turned into the hallway, she heard a muffled voice coming from the room. Wondering who Mom was talking to this late, Tabitha slowed her walk and tip-toed to the office door. It was slightly ajar and she could clearly hear that Mom was in a heated discussion.
“No, that's just not going to happen. She's my daughter. I'm the one who poured years of work into staying at home with her and I'm not going to let anything change that. No. No way....I don't think you understand...Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, but divorce is never easy for anyone...You can have the house. I don't care about that...No, she's mine. I want full custody. No debate...Get over yourself, Paul. You were a lousy husband and you're going to make a lousy ex. She doesn't want to see you....Of course I told her you sent her a gift. She thought it was stupid...No, she wants nothing to do with you, so just do us all a favor and leave us ALONE.”
Mom slammed the phone down loudly and breathed heavily, like she was catching her breath. In shock at what she had just overheard, Tabitha quickly sneaked back upstairs and hurried into her room. She slipped into her bed and pulled the blankets up to her neck. Soon she heard Mom's telltale footsteps climbing the stairs. Mom liked to check on Tabitha before she turned in for the night. She said it was to make sure she was okay and wasn't too cold or anything like that. Before, Tabitha had thought Mom's gesture was a kind and gentle one, but tonight she just felt betrayed.
Closely her eyes tight, Tabitha pretended to be asleep when Mom entered the room. Mom tiptoed gingerly across the creaky floor to Tabitha's bed and placed an extra, warm blanket on Tabitha's shivering body. She hadn't realized just how cold the house was until she felt the warmth of the blanket, and for a brief moment, she felt grateful for Mom. The soft wetness of Mom's kiss on her forehead made her feel angry and upset. When Mom left the room Tabitha threw the blanket on the floor in a silent act of protest.
A sea of questions whirled about Tabitha's mind as she lay silently in the darkness. A stream of moonlight poured in her window, but Tabitha didn't feel like soaking in the beauty or thinking about its whimsical properties. Instead she wondered why Mom had lied to her about contacting Dad. Why hadn't Dad replied to any of her text messages? Why didn't she know Dad had sent her a Christmas gift? For months now, Tabitha had felt abandoned by her father, but now she wondered if he really wanted to see her and be with her. Why had Mom hidden that from her? Was Mom the enemy in this story?
There were too many questions for Tabitha to cope with. She couldn't sleep. Every gust of wind that shook the house's frail frame just urged her to think and question and ponder even more than she already was. After awhile, Tabitha heard Mom getting ready for bed and the tell tale closing of Mom's b
edroom door. The door had a very distinct closing sound, and Tabitha knew it well.
She stood, quietly, and sneaked out of her bedroom. She peered down the hall to make sure Mom was really in her room before quietly hurrying downstairs to the office. Tabitha sat at the desk and examined the phone that rested on the desk. It was digital, and it had a list of recent calls. She didn't see any numbers she recognized, so she lifted the receiver and hit “redial.” The phone rang several times before a groggy voice answered.
“Rhonda, what's wrong? It's nearly midnight.”
Tabitha choked back tears as she feared the question she was about to ask. “DAD?”
She could tell her father was as shocked to hear her voice as she was to hear his.
“Tabitha? Sweetie, how did you get this number? Did your Mom tell you? Does she know you're calling me?”
“No, no she's asleep now. I just, I overheard her yelling at you and....and Dad...” Tabitha began to tear up as she spoke with her dad, finally, after all this time. “Dad, I thought you didn't want to see me. I tried texting you and you never texted back and I just miss you so much Dad.”
Dad explained that he had changed his number after he moved out. His cell phone had been on a family plan with Mom's number and the phone company wouldn't let him switch to an individual line. He had to get a new number to have his own phone account. He had texted and called Tabitha many times, he told her, but had never been able to get ahold of her.
“Maybe Mom blocked your new number and I didn't know,” Tabitha wondered aloud. “Dad, I've just missed you for so long. What happened? Why is Mom keeping us away from each other?”
“Your mother is afraid,” Dad explained gently, “That if you know how much I want to see you that she won't get full custody when we go to court next week.”
“I didn't know you were going to court. When did you decide to go to court?”