“Dax.” I start to object when he takes a step towards me. “I have to be out on stage in less than five minutes.” I say, hoping he will just go away.
The kiss we shared two nights ago has haunted me since the moment it happened. I can't stop thinking about it. The way his lips felt against mine. The way his hands gripped me so tightly like he was scared to let go of me. Every single detail has consumed my thoughts for two days straight and has left me feeling weak and vulnerable, which is why I have been avoiding him. I don't want to put myself in a position to resist him. Because honestly at this point, I'm not sure that I have it in me to do so.
“This won't take long.” He takes another step and then another until he is standing directly in front of me. “I just want to apologize.” He says, reaching out to brush my cheek with the back of his hand, heat immediately flooding my face.
“For?” I question, trying to keep my voice even and not let on like I think any of this is a big deal.
“You know what for.” He says, wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and pulling my face to his until they are just inches apart. “I never should have kissed you without making sure you wanted me to first.” He says, his eyes holding firmly to mine. “It won't happen again.” He smiles, leaning in even closer. “Unless.” He whispers, his hot breath dancing across my face.
“Unless?” I pant, not able to control my rapid breaths or even more rapid heartbeat.
“Unless you ask me to.” He hovers next to my lips for a moment longer before pulling away, a wide smile stretching across his face.
“Well then we have nothing to worry about.” I say, crossing my arms in front of myself, trying my damnedest to play this game just as well as he is.
“We'll see.” His eyes dance in challenge as he backs away, his smile not fading as he pulls the door open and throws me a wink before disappearing into the hallway.
The moment he's gone my weak legs give out and I collapse back onto the couch along the back wall of my dressing room. Leaning forward, I drop my head into my hands and take a few deep calming breaths.
I have to pull my shit together and get a grip. He doesn't mean anything by this. He's just being Dax. Fucking with me just because he can. He broke one of his rules for me, now he wants to see if he can push me to break mine. He may be the first man to make me consider breaking my one time only rule, but that is even more reason for me not to. I can't give him that power.
I have traveled down that road before. The one where I am so blinded by what my heart and body wants that I don't listen to my mind. I traveled it and when I returned, I was not the same girl I was before. Ricky and his little buddies made damn sure of that. Closing my eyes, I try to push the thought away.
I cannot.
I will not.
I am not, ever going to give a man that kind of power over me again.
Chapter Twenty
Lo
I no more than sit down on my couch and a knock sounds at my door. Who in the hell would visit at two o'clock in the morning? But then again, I already know the answer to that question. I know I shouldn't answer it. I should stay exactly where I am and let him think that maybe I am already asleep.
I know that is what I should do, but that also doesn't stop me from pushing myself into a stand and crossing towards the door. I put my hand on the lock, trying to convince myself not to open the door but it's no use. Before I can really stop myself, I flip the lock and twist the knob.
The second it opens, Dax rushes inside, slamming it shut as he pulls my body flush with his and spins me around, pinning me against the door, his face hovering just inches from mine.
“Dax. What the hell?” I blurt, taken aback by his sudden movements.
“Tell me to kiss you.” His voice sounds almost pained.
“Dax... I....” I stutter out.
“Ask me to kiss you Lo.” He lowers his face, his eyes burning deeply into mine. The heat in his glare melts every ounce of my self control right here on the spot and I find myself uttering the words I swore to myself just hours ago, that I would never speak.
“Kiss me.” I breathe, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling his face down to mine. “Kiss me Dax.” I barely get the words out a second time before his mouth comes crashing down on mine.
My lips part on a moan and he immediately slips his tongue inside, his skilled mouth working my already weakened mind into a puddle of want and need. I am blinded to everything. Everything but this. The feeling of his mouth on mine. The feeling of his hands as they skirt down my body, gripping my hips so tightly I am certain there will be bruises tomorrow.
“You taste so fucking perfect.” He breathes, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth and biting down gently. “So fucking perfect.” He grinds out as he makes his way across my jawline and dips lower to nibble gently across my collarbone.
Dropping my head back, I am helpless against his assault. I can't bring myself to fight against the heat coursing through every inch of my body, consuming me inch by inch as he stakes his claim. Trailing his fingers inside the band of my yoga pants, I bite down on his shoulder when he slides his hand inside to find me wearing no panties and more than a little wet.
“Fuck.” He grinds out, immediately plunging two fingers deep inside of me.
I bite down even harder when his thumb finds my clit and he starts working circles across my most sensitive area. I am already close. So close. It's been so long since I have felt someone's hands on me. Not to mention, everything about this man turns me on so much that one flick of his finger and I find myself climbing higher and higher.
“Look at me.” His voice is broken and strained.
I unclench my mouth from his flesh and look up to find his eyes burning down onto me. I watch his mouth part on a desperate exhale as he feels me tighten around his fingers as an orgasm washes over me. It climbs and climbs and even though I want to look way, I force myself to hold eye contact.
Finally I explode around his hand on a loud cry and my head sags forward into his chest. He slows his movements and then once he's sure he's drained every ounce of pleasure from my release, he slides his hand out of my pants, grabbing the band as he does and tugging the material down my legs.
He watches me with hooded eyes as I lift one leg and then the other, allowing him to pull the material from my body. Grabbing the hem of my shirt, he pulls it over my head. Discarding it to the side, he takes a small step back and traces his eyes along every inch of my bare skin.
“You are so fucking beautiful.” He says, his eyes finding mine again as he pulls me to him.
Leaning in, I press my lips to his once more as I begin slowly backing him towards the couch. As much as I love the control he takes with me, I also can't fight my own dominant side. With each step he takes backwards, I work on removing an article of his clothing.
First, I peel his shirt over his head and toss it to the side. Then, I immediately start working on his belt and the button and zipper of his pants. We both laugh as he struggles to kick them off his legs as we continue to move backwards into the living room.
Sliding my fingers into the band of his boxers, I slowly trace along his waist, teasing him, before finally working them down his hips just as the back of his knees meet the couch and he falls backwards.
My eyes trace his body as I get my first real view of him in full light. He's even more perfect than I realized the first time. Every muscle is tense and defined. I can see the tightness in his core as he anticipates my next move and the tension in his broad shoulders.
Positioning one leg on the couch next to him, I straddle his lap and settle the other knee down on the other side of him, loving the way his hands immediately grip my hips when I do. Wrapping my hands in the back of his hair, I pull his face back to mine, kissing him deeply as I slowly slide his massive erection inside my folds.
“Lo. Wait.” Dax pants, halting my movements.
“What's wrong?” I ask, pulling back slightly to meet his gaze.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asks, his forehead scrunching together in concern.
“Don't you?” I ask, slowly teasing the head of his erection at my entrance. I don't want to think about this anymore. I am done fighting this. All I want is to feel him inside of me again and I am more than ready to take it.
“Fuck.” He grinds out, his fingers gripping my hips impossibly tight. “More than anything.” He pants. “But what about your rules?” He asks, his eyes not leaving mine.
“The perk of making the rules....” I remind him, watching a slow smile spread across his mouth.
“There's a condom in the front pocket of my pants.” He breathes against my mouth when I lean forward and gently bite down on his bottom lip.
“I've got a better idea.” I say, sliding him slowly inside of me, his entire body going rigid as I do.
“Lo.” He tightens his grip on my hips, making it impossible to slide down any further.
“Relax.” I breathe against his mouth. “I'm on birth control and I do not go bare, ever. I'm clean.” I assure him. “And I trust that you are also.”
He nods but doesn't speak.
“I just need to feel you. I mean, really feel you.” I get out weakly, sliding down onto his impossibly hard erection the moment he loosens his grip enough to allow me to move.
He lets out a deep exhale and bites down on his bottom lip, his eyes closed, his breathing erratic. I move slowly, teasing, torturing. I love the way his face contorts the further I take him and the way his eyes open hooded and glassy when I finally manage to take his full length inside of me.
I stop for a moment, allowing myself to adjust to his size. His hands work slowly up and down my bare back, causing my skin to prickle under his touch. “Is this the first time you've ever....” He starts but I cut him off.
“Been with a man a second time?” I ask, gripping the back of the couch as I pull myself up and then slowly lower myself back down onto him, loving the way his voice breaks over his “Uh huh.”
“Yes.” I slide down and then back up. Down and then back up. Quickly establishing a good rhythm that has us both tearing at each other within minutes.
“I've never craved a woman the way I crave you.” He breathes, taking my mouth roughly as we rock our bodies back and forth together. “The way you feel around me.” He grinds out, tightening his grip on my hips once more as he starts moving quicker beneath me, our bodies coming together at one perfect point, driving both of us to the edge.
“You're all I think about.” He admits, his labored words causing a sudden gush of heat to rush through my body. “I dream about your lips.” He says, pulling my face down to kiss me. “Your body.” He lets his eyes trail down my bare torso. “The way it clenches around me.” He increases his speed even more, both of us so close.
“Dax.” I whimper, knowing I am only seconds away from exploding around him. “Let me feel you.” I plead, his body immediately tensing at my words. I press my lips to his once more and the moment the contact is made, I come undone above him.
Fireworks.
I know it sounds ridiculous but that's what I feel the moment he spills his release inside of me. The combination of our two climaxes blending together in a feeling so exquisite only a word like fireworks can describe it. Like an explosion taking place deep inside of me that I can feel everywhere. My fingers, the tips of my toes, the pleasure radiates through my entire body and I collapse forward into Dax's arms, no longer able to support my own weight.
“Wow.” I can feel his smile against my bare shoulder as his hands work lazy strides up and down my back.
“Wow.” I agree, not able to find the strength to move from my place on his lap.
“See, I told you that you would ask me to kiss you again.” He smiles when I pull my head back to meet his eyes.
“What can I say....” I break off, trailing my fingers across his sculpted chest. “You're hard to resist, I'll give you that.” I tease, leaning forward to trail kisses along his jaw, loving the way his short stubble feels against my lips.
“I could say the same thing about you.” He says. We both smile when he slowly begins moving below me again, his hard erection still buried inside of me.
“Again?” I question, smiling against his lips as he pulls me down to him.
“Fuck yes.” He grinds out, sliding his tongue inside of my mouth.
****
“What are we doing Dax?” My voice breaks through the silence that has surrounded us for the past several minutes.
“What do you mean?” He asks, his fingers lazily running through my hair as I lay curled into his side, my head on his chest.
“This.” I say, hoping he gets my meaning.
“I don't know.” He sighs, his hand falling still. “I just know I want this.” He admits.
I turn my face upwards, wishing I could see his face through the darkness. “Dax.” I start, but he immediately cuts me off when he feels my body tense against his.
“I'm not asking for your hand in marriage Lo, but I want this to continue.” He tightens his grip on my body.
“I can't give you a relationship.” I say, my stomach knotting tightly at the thought.
“And I'm not asking you for one.” He tacks on. “I want this to continue.” He says, rolling his body towards me so that I am forced to roll onto my back. Within moments, he is settled between my legs, his hardening erection coming to a rest just at my entrance.
“What are you suggesting?” I ask, already feeling the heat of want rush through my body. It's been less than an hour and already I am craving the feeling of him inside of me so badly, I feel like I might split apart.
“No strings. No feelings. Just me and you. Like it's been for the past few weeks. Me and you, and this.” He slowly begins sliding his erection inside of me.
“Are you sure we can do this?” I ask, trying to not let the pleasure of him filling me distract me from how this could all turn out should we venture down this path.
I've never had a friend with benefits before. Obviously being with the same man more than once is new territory for me. Having someone I just fuck over and over again whenever I want is almost a foreign concept. But more than anything, the thing that trumps everything else is that I don't want to lose him in my life.
“All I know.” He pushes himself the rest of the way inside of me, causing me to cry out in pleasure. “Is that I want to feel you like this. No, I need to feel you like this. All day. Everyday. You, wrapped tightly around my dick. Fuck Lo. I am never going to get enough of you.” He pants, leaning down to press his lips to mine. “But I don't want to share you. If we do this, your body is mine until we end it.”
“And yours?” I question, my resolve weakening.
“No one will touch me but you.” He promises.
“Okay.” I get out weakly against his mouth, not able to resist the temptation of being able to have him like this over and over again and knowing that no other woman, at least for now, will get to experience the pleasure of his body the way I am right now.
Regret and second guessing can visit me tomorrow. Right now, I just want to enjoy the pleasure coursing through me and the strong man commanding my body, claiming me, marking me as his.
Chapter Twenty-One
Dax
“Indiana.” Lo gives me a goofy grin when she sees my expression. “What? Were you expecting I was from somewhere more exciting?” She laughs. “I wish.”
“Indiana?” I question, having pictured her more of a West Coast girl. I knew she moved here after she graduated high school, I just didn't know from where. “Tell me about the town you grew up in.”
“Boring little farm town.” She sighs. “Pretty much what the entire state is made up of.”
“That's not true. There are some bigger cities.” I say, just trying to keep her talking. She is almost as hard as I am to get information out of and right now, that's what I want. Information. I want to know as much as I can about th
is girl.
“I guess. But growing up there, it was all pretty blah.” She says, shrugging indifferently.
“Do your parents still live there?” I ask, not missing the way her features tighten at my question.
“Yes.” Her answer is short.
“Is that a sensitive subject?” I cock my head to the side to study her.
“You could say that.” She picks at a loose string on her plaid pajama bottoms, not meeting my eyes.
“And what about your sister? You said you have a twin?”
“Lilly.” She looks up to meet my gaze. “Though after her last visit, I am not entirely sure she would admit to anyone that she even has a sister.”
“Why is that?”
“You ask a lot of questions.” She sighs, flopping back onto the pillows of my bed and looking up at the ceiling, making no attempt to answer my question.
“Just curious I guess.” I shrug, crawling up the bed towards her. Straddling my leg over her waist, I rest a portion of my weight down on her torso. Leaning forward, I pin her hands above her head, holding them firmly with one hand.
“But there are other things I am just as curious about.” I say, watching a slow smile spread across her face.
“And what would that be?” She purrs, grinding her body upwards into me.
“What you taste like for starters.” I breathe, gently kissing her lips before pulling back slightly.
“You've already tasted me.” Her words are weak and broken, as my free hand explores down her side and teases the waistband of her pants.
“I want to know what you taste like here.” I say, sliding my hand between us to rest it between her legs.
She lets out a soft moan that immediately has me rock hard and ready to take her right now. But I manage to refrain. I want to take the time to explore her body. Learn what she likes and what she doesn't based on her sounds, the way her body reacts to me, her breathing.
Taming Lo: A You and I Novel Page 9