Psyche Shield

by Chrissie Buhr

  “Is there anything else you can think of? Any records or trails of any kind that would lead back to this?”

  Jazz thought carefully. “Gary knows you gave me a blood sample, and maybe the kids too. A few others know you were planning on it but not that you did it unless Gary told them. The front desk has a record of your visit, but they don’t know why you came. I have not had any contact with the other researchers since before we initially talked. In my last report, I mentioned my intent to obtain a Mage blood sample, but I did not tell them how or who.”

  “I appreciate your discretion.” No one could remember so much as a polite conversation between a Mage and a Wolf before me. My relationship with Billie and my position in the Pack was unprecedented. Her Wolf colleagues wouldn’t like it.

  She shook her head, dismissing my gratitude. “I wasn’t relevant. Until it was relevant, I didn’t care to defend my friendship with a Mage. They would believe me collared.”

  The word “friendship” made me smile. Billie mentally sighed in relief to hear that the other scientists didn’t know I existed. “Keep them in the dark for now. How long will it take you to wipe all of the electronic records?”

  “Five minutes at most,” she replied confidently.

  “Would you do that now?” Jazz promptly swiveled to face the computer and started typing. Billie’s mental tone sounded miserable. Compulsion smells rotten to the Wolf, who breathes freedom like air.

  I recognized the Eldest’s style. Kato said that?

  I asked if you only smell like a Mage when you use coercive power. That was his reply. It is so true. I don’t want to ask her to do this. Billie’s guilt weighed on me as much as my own. As Beta she’d sworn to protect her packmates. To protect everyone we had to harm one Wolf. Billie would ask Jazz to willingly submit to my mental invasion. In order to destroy the research completely, we had to remove it from her mind as well. It wouldn’t harm Jazz’s mind or collar her, but it went against her nature as Wolf.

  Neither do I. God, even if she agrees, I don’t want to do this to her. I felt my chest tighten. If she didn’t submit to it, I would have to do it anyway.

  Kato’s right about this knowledge. It’s too dangerous. It has to be erased. She reminded herself, but it didn’t assuage the guilt.

  Jazz retrieved something from a small safe and returned to the computer. She finished wiping the electronic records and swiveled to face us. “It’s done. Everything here is clean. There’s no cloud server or internet access from this computer at all. The only backups are in the fireproof safe. I corrupted the last week of backups, and a fresh one is running right now. We’re obsessive about confidentiality for obvious reasons, which made it possible. The right tech savvy person could tell I’ve erased information, and I can’t help that. I’ve removed it at every layer. There’s no way of retrieving it.”

  “What will happen if someone notices information has been erased?” Billie inquired, her voice beginning to betray her emotions.

  “They’ll know I did it or allowed it. I would catch hell from the other scientists, and I could be removed from the research team entirely. There aren’t very many Wolf scientists, and I’m the only one with PhDs in both genetics and biochemistry. That would be an extreme decision.” By her troubled expression, she believed it possible.

  “If this information gets out...” Billie started but Jazz raised a hand and saved her from saying it.

  “There’s only one way to ensure it doesn’t get out and only one reason why you look like you’re about to ask for my firstborn child. If the wrong Mage extracts this from my memory, we’re all in danger. The right Mage needs to erase it.” Jazz nodded at me with fearful determination. “I have a few questions first.”

  “Of course.” I kept my tone steady with effort. She wouldn’t remember the conversation and assurances, but she deserved them anyway. “What would you like to know?”

  The first question came immediate and hurried, a sense of urgency hidden behind her even tone. “Can you remove the information without damaging my mind?”

  The question startled me, and I answered immediately. “Yes! Oh, God, yes! I couldn’t do it otherwise.”

  She sighed visibly, and I realized she’d have agreed either way if it would protect her pack and family. “What about Gary and the kids? He knows you gave me a sample, and if the kids were paying attention, they do too.”

  “I can erase those memories easily and safely,” I assured the protective mother.

  Billie interjected. “Are you willing to make that decision for them?”

  Jazz nodded. “If it’s perfectly safe, then it’s an easy choice. It protects them too.”

  Billie frowned in confusion, troubled as much as reassured at her packmate’s response. “I didn’t expect you to agree so easily. I thought we’d have a nice long debate and eventually you’d come around.”

  Jazz raised her chin and peered at Billie passionately. She looked more Wolf in that moment than ever. “I asked her to keep Gary safe, and she did. No one asked her to keep the pack safe, and she did it anyway. She’s a lot like you, Beta. If a Mage is willing to risk everything for our pack and my family, how can I do any less? I don’t like this. I’m terrified to have any Mage in my mind, even Sadie. But I know she won’t hurt me or my family deliberately.”

  I bit my lip, humbled by Jazz’s blatant trust and willingness to put her brilliant mind in my hands. “I know when I’m done, you’ll be just fine. I have no doubt of that, and I still don’t want to do it. I wish there was another way.”

  “I don’t think there is,” Jazz admitted, returning to her usual pragmatic demeanor and focusing on other details. “If the other scientists believe I’m collared, they will be concerned about the integrity of our research. We have protocols for such an event. Trust me, you don’t want to set that in motion. If they discover the missing information, it would be better for them to believe I’m incompetent or hiding something for other reasons. You may need to remind me what I’ve forgotten if that happens.”

  “If it comes to that, we will,” Billie promised.

  I added a little insurance. “I can plant a suggestion that ensures you’ll come to one of us and no one else if questions arise.”

  “That’s reasonable. I also recommend you plant a suggestion not to offer information about you to the other scientists. Your presence alone could instigate an investigation and set those protocols in motion.” It sounded like a wise precaution to me too. She tapped her nose as she pondered. “Let me think if there’s anything else. I’ll need a reason why you came to see me but didn’t give any blood. I don’t have a reason to reject your sample.”

  I’d already considered it. “I got nervous. I came, we talked, and I couldn’t do it. I just found out I’m a Mage, and it hasn’t been a picnic. I’ll give you a sample someday, but I’m not ready. Billie’s promised not to bite me dead. How does that sound?”

  “That will do well. Humans back out of these tests at the last minute all the time. You were raised Human, so it’s reasonable that you acted like a Human. Today you came to apologize to me for terrorizing my husband and explain your actions, but I already knew.” We all believed the plan would work.

  “Anything else?”

  “What about you and Billie? You’ll still know. How will you keep this information safe?” She looked between us again thoughtfully.

  Billie made an impulsive decision to return Jazz’s show of trust. “I can tell you, but Sadie will need to erase that too. Would you like to know?”

  “Yes. I’ll be more confident about this decision if I know.” She looked to her Beta for answers. “Once she’s done, I won’t need to feel better about it.”

  “Sadie is the most powerful Mage in the world. No one can read her, and because of our bond, no one can read or collar me so long as she’s around.” I shifted awkwardly. I’d only recently discovered this about myself and the statement discomfited me every time.

  Jazz straightened in her seat,
astonishment written throughout her entire body and emanating from her surface thoughts. After a moment she beamed at me. “That makes me feel a lot better. If you’re that good, you won’t damage our minds.”

  I tried to return her smile but failed, instead speaking with resigned sorrow. “I’m glad you’re okay with this. Humans barely notice coercion. But if it’s anything like uncollaring Nathan, this is going to be uncomfortable for you. You’ll want to fight me, and if you do, it could be painful. Try to relax and think about the information. It’ll help guide me and make it smoother. I’ll be as gentle as possible. Are you ready?”

  She nodded and closed her eyes. “I’m ready.”

  Be prepared for her to fight it. Billie moved to stand behind her packmate and placed a hand on Jazz’s shoulder. The contact from her Beta helped to reassure her. If Jazz’s instincts kicked in, Billie could restrain her before damaging me or the lab.

  I gathered magepower, drawing it from everything around me. It filled me, humming across my skin like an electric current and flowing through my body seductively. I only drew on as much power as I needed for the task, only a fraction of my potential. Even so, I felt larger than life and wanted more.

  Wolves could sense magepower and disliked it, instinctively rebelling against the very thing that defined me. Jazz barely flinched as she smelled it. Billie had experienced it a number of times, and it didn’t surprise her. As the power coursed through me, she sensed the godlike euphoria that inevitably came with it. She barely recognized me when consumed by magepower, and she couldn’t hide her feelings about it.

  My earlier hesitation disappeared under the thrall of the power. I didn’t waver as I entered Jazz’s mind, gently navigating my way through the layers and along the threads of knowledge. She didn’t resist. Highly disciplined from decades of intellectual pursuits, Jazz relaxed and ignored the discomfort, dismissing her instincts to fight the violation. As requested, she focused her thoughts on the dangerous information, allowing me to find every reference easily. Carefully and meticulously, I eliminated the threat and planted the suggestions we’d agreed upon. As suspected, her cooperation made the uncomfortable ordeal easier.

  When finished, I retreated most of the way out of her mind, keeping a simple hold on it for a little longer. Finding Gary’s familiar mind with ease, I erased his knowledge of the blood sample and verified that he hadn’t mentioned it to anyone else. Finding the children through their mother, I did the same. Her Human family didn’t even notice the intrusion.

  I raised my gaze and met my mate’s crystal green eyes. No one outside her family knew. It’s erased. I’ll finish with Jazz as soon as we’re gone. Billie held her composure, wishing I couldn’t sense her worry about how much magepower changed me. She knew I hated that I could do this to a person except when under the power’s influence.

  Jazz opened her eyes and looked at us with only mild confusion. Billie addressed her as if we’d barely arrived. “It’s good to be back, Jazz. I’m glad you had time to see us.”

  “Of course,” she replied while shaking off her confusion. Thanks to the lingering hold on her mind, she couldn’t smell magepower on me at all. She smiled genuinely and stood. “Thank you again for protecting Gary and the pack. I better get back to work, but I’m looking forward to hearing the whole story at dinner.”

  The power still hummed along my skin as I shouldered the bag containing the remnants of what I’d erased. Jazz didn’t see the handbag, nor did anyone else as she led us back through the maze. Once she’d deposited us in the front office, she disappeared back into the belly of the laboratory. The receptionist reclaimed our temporary IDs and we returned to the Jeep. I finished the job, ensuring that Jazz wouldn’t realize I’d tampered with her mind or used magepower in her presence. Satisfied, I released the power and felt it return to wherever it came from.

  As the power dissipated, I blacked out.

  Chapter 3

  Amy sat on the couch, reading her latest mystery novel. Her patient slept soundly, and she kept one ear on the Wolf’s breathing and heartbeat. The leg needed strict attention for a day or two. Though necessary, re-breaking the compound fracture in the field could cause complications. Rapid healing usually made her job as Pack Medic easy, but when a bone began to knit together before set properly, it became an inconvenience. If any problems arose, she wanted to address them immediately. She’d camp out at Billie’s until certain the leg would fully recover.

  Her mind persistently wandered from the book to her predicament. She had four patients at once, three of them the most dominant and stubborn Wolves in the entire pack. All three had sustained life-threatening injuries in the last week. As usual, Jason, Billie, and Matthew would barely let her assess them and refused to rest properly. They postured and pretended, but she knew better.

  She’d pulled out every trick she knew to convince them to rest and let her treat them, but they ignored her. They acted like intracranial swelling, internal bleeding, and multiple compound fractures were nothing more than bumps and bruises. She couldn’t tell who would win a stubborn pride contest, but collectively those three hit a world record. Each had improved significantly thanks to a Wolf’s rapid metabolism and ability to heal quickly. But when they didn’t take care of themselves, it took longer to return to full strength. Billie wasn’t even out of the woods, and she worried the Beta’s internal bleeding would renew.

  Kathryn sat beside her on the couch, pretending to read a novel about a Russian ballet icon. Frequently Amy caught her staring out the window in thought. She wanted to ask but wouldn’t risk waking her patient. She’d pester her friend later.

  Billie’s Jeep pulled into the drive, and she hoped they would enter quietly. Kathryn set her novel on the table and stood, alert to something that Amy didn’t notice. The Medic listened intently, but before she could determine what drew the Elder’s concern, the door burst open.

  Billie entered in a whirlwind, carrying her unconscious mate in her arms. Sadie convulsed violently, and only determination and Wolf strength kept her mate from falling. Amy couldn’t remember the last time she smelled fear on her Beta, but Billie reeked of it. “Help her,” she begged.

  The Medic jumped into action, and Kathryn moved out of the way. “Put her on the couch. What happened?”

  Billie set her mate down gently and cradled her head in her hands. Kathryn watched the spectacle from a polite distance. Billie’s voice shook slightly, a testament to the level of her fear. Billie never dissembled and could meet anything head on without flinching. “Every time she uses magepower she shakes and gets weak and tired. Sometimes she passes out. But it’s never been this bad. This can’t be normal.”

  Amy noticed Sierra, awake and eyes wide at the sight. The Wolf lay motionless and watched intently. Her fifth patient. The rapidly growing triage situation weighed on her, but she focused on Sadie. “Her heart is fine and she’s breathing. That’s good. This isn’t a real seizure, it’s something else. How long does it usually last?”

  “It’s always different. After the Mage confrontation the other day, she passed out, slept for several hours, then shook when she woke up. Later when she freed Nathan, it wasn’t as bad. The next day after uncollaring the rest of Cassandra’s pets, she barely felt it at all.”

  Amy checked Sadie over and considered the Mage’s condition carefully. She spoke aloud so that Billie and Kathryn could follow her thoughts. “Using magepower is normal for Mages, but Sadie didn’t use it for years until recently. Right?”

  Billie couldn’t be sure. Sadie didn’t talk about it much, and she hadn’t pushed. “Not since she was a teenager, I think. Not until the attack.”

  Amy reasoned it out, but her uncertainty showed. “Maybe it’s something they have to get used to, and she’s not used to it. So it’s shocking her system. I don’t know anything about Mage physiology, Billie. I’m sorry, but I’m guessing.”

  Kathryn knelt beside Sadie and took her hand gently. She looked intently at her convulsing friend,
reminding Amy and Billie of the way Kato looked within a person. After a moment she met her Beta’s eyes. “I believe Amy is correct that using magepower is shocking her system, but I do not believe this is a purely physical reaction. Billie, you sense your mate’s emotions. Could this be a response to guilt?”

  Billie flinched at the suggestion and answered slowly. “It could be. The severity doesn’t make sense with how much magepower she uses. But it does compare to how she feels about it.”

  “A psychological response?” Amy chewed her lip in thought. “It could be, especially knowing how Sadie feels about being a Mage.”

  “Can you reach her mind?” Kathryn asked, ignoring Amy’s analysis while she worked on her own.

  “I’ve been trying, but she’s not hearing me. She’s completely shut down. What do we do?” Billie moved to the couch and pulled Sadie into her lap, holding her close as she continued to convulse.

  The Elder came to a decision. “We comfort her like Pack. Amy, would you please call Nathan? Sadie would benefit from his presence, reminding her of the good she has done with her power.” Kathryn began to strip off her clothes as Amy hit speed dial. In wolf form, Kathryn jumped onto the couch and lay beside her friend, finding room enough for her small body. She rested her black head on Sadie’s chest, eyes half closed. Her talent for breathing calm into any distressed creature began to ease Sadie’s convulsions. Still Sadie trembled and didn’t wake.

  Amy spoke to Nathan and set the phone aside. With a grim face, she reassured Sierra. “It looks like a busy day for me. But I’m not going anywhere, so if you need me say so.” Then shedding her own clothes, she shifted into a large arctic wolf. Too big to fit on the couch without suffocating her packmate, she sat on the floor instead. She tucked her nose into the crook of Sadie’s neck, breathing in her scent and wishing she could do more. With a whine, she draped a paw across Sadie’s lightly trembling arm.