by Eliza McGrey
I crouched down and slowly made my way around the outside of the railings, keeping Mrs. Brian in sight through the rungs as I went. She hadn’t noticed me, yet, either.
She turned and headed down the hallway toward some of the servant’s quarters. I hoped that she wouldn’t find Isabelle already away from her post.
I continued to move in the opposite direction of Mrs. Brian, staying to her back, and tried as hard as I could to not make any sound.
I slipped down the hall where Richard’s quarters were and breathed a sigh of relief. Mrs. Brian was unlikely to come down here for at least a few moments if she was on her way to scold someone else.
I couldn’t tarry, though. Richard could be home any minute.
I pushed open the door to his room, the second to last on the right, and stepped into the darkness.
In my excited state, I had forgotten a lantern to help me see. Thankfully, there was one on his bedside table. It only took me three times to get it lit and working.
There were shelves, end tables, and a desk in his personal room, which was far more spacious than my own. If he were to keep personal documents hidden, then his own room where he slept would likely be the place he would keep them.
My heart was pounding as I crossed over to the carved mahogany desk. He told me that it had been made for him by a man as a gift of gratitude for his service in the war. He said it was one of his most cherished pieces.
My fingers grabbed onto one of the brass knobs and slowly pulled it open.
I wasn’t quite sure what I had expected. There were stacks of parchment inside, a few bottles of ink, and some spare quills. I lit the lantern and set it down on the top of the desk, and began to pull items out of the darkness.
Piece after piece of parchment was blank. With a twinge of fear, I began to wonder if this was all some elaborate ruse by Mr. Watson, attempting to sabotage my relationship with my husband. Not that there was much of a relationship to speak of. Even still, I worried that I had stolen away to his quarters for nothing.
But then I managed to find a folded letter nearer the back of the second drawer, one that was so soft and worn, with small tears on the edges that indicated it had been open and closed many different times.
Fingers trembling, I unfolded the letter, and leaned closer to the light of the lantern to read it.
Colonel,
I’ve done as you asked. They have been disposed of. Once we return home, no one will be the wiser.
M.
A chill ran down my spine. Been disposed of? That didn’t mean…surely that couldn’t mean bodies, right?
And who was this M? Why did they not wish to disclose their name?
I continued to search, and to my horror, I stumbled upon more obscure notes like this.
Colonel, we’ve received your orders. I must be honest, I’m rather uncomfortable with the implications. If anyone were to discern our plans, then our positions wouldn’t be the only thing at stake.
Colonel, everything is in order, just as you asked. The night after next, we will be able to move past all this and hopefully go home. All’s fair in love and war, yes?
Colonel, I must apologize but there has been a setback. The generals have decided to withhold their orders to move. We might very well have to push back our plans a night or two.
They were so cryptic it was making my head spin. But that was likely the point, wasn’t it? In case anyone found them that shouldn’t have, they would have been at a loss for what was being spoken about. I certainly was, even if it gave me an easy pit in my stomach.
There were other letters as well, in very different writing. Some were even in French, and I could barely understand any of it. I hadn’t taken French lessons since I was a girl, and hadn’t needed it apart from a trip I’d taken when I was younger.
Many of those letters were signed by a man with the name Lieutenant Armand.
So…he had been speaking with the French. Wasn’t Richard honored for his efforts in the war against the French? Why would he have been speaking with them, then?
I had to clamp down on my tongue to keep from gasping when I discovered a stack of dossiers containing a list of different soldiers in the English military…all with a large X across their faces, along with hand written notes along the edges.
Asked too many questions
Discovered the time of meeting
Challenged the plan
I lowered the files, unable to look at the faces of those men any longer. Was the Colonel responsible for all of their deaths? And for what reason?
What was he doing? What had he done?
I slid the dossier back into the drawer and shivered.
My fingers grazed something cold and metal at the bottom of the drawer. Slowly, I lifted it up from the shadows, a soft twinkling sound following as I did.
I realized quickly that it was a small, silver locket. The chain was long and thin, knotted in a few links from being so carelessly tossed in the drawer the way it must have been.
I ran my thumb over the top of it. It was smooth aside from a swooping carving in its otherwise flawless surface. As I stared at it in the candlelight, I couldn’t quite make out what it was. A snake, perhaps? Or a bird in flight?
I ran my fingers over it a few more times, working out the shape in my mind.
Suddenly, the door knob on the door opened with a substantial click.
My heart nearly leapt out of my chest. I tossed the locket back into the drawer, my heart slamming against my ribs, and shoved the drawer closed, spinning around with the lantern just as the hulking shape of the Colonel strode into the room.
He stopped as he saw me standing beside his desk.
Icy panic flooded my veins, paralyzing me where I stood. He’d caught me. I had been careless with my time. I had completely forgotten everything side from the contents in those drawers.
I had to think fast.
“What are you doing in here?” he asked. There was no anger in his voice, just surprise. I was just as surprised as he was.
“I – ” I said. And then a thought came to mind, a thought that I never would have normally contemplated, but in the circumstances, I needed to do something outlandish to be able to get him to believe him.
I had no idea how he would react if he were to discover I had been looking through his personal belongings.
“I was waiting for you to get home…darling,” I added. I dropped my voice, keeping it low and steady. “I hope I didn’t frighten you.”
“No,” Richard said. “I would have expected you to be asleep by now.”
“I couldn’t sleep…” I said, trailing my fingers over the front of my nightgown. “I just…missed you too much.”
Richard slowly closed the door behind himself and stepped toward me. “You’ve never come to my room like this before.”
I stepped away from the desk, the lantern in hand, my eyes locked on his. The longer he looked at me, the longer his gaze would avoid, and hopefully forget, his desk. “I know…” I said as sheepishly as I could. “I’ve been neglecting my duties as a wife. All of this has been so new, so…different. I’m sorry its taken me so long to get used to it all.”
I stood in front of him, and gently rested my palm against his chest. His heart began to race beneath my fingers. Gently I stroked the front of his shirt before reaching up to undo the very top button.
“Maryanne, I’ve never see you like this…” Richard said, a low growl in his words. His hands were suddenly at my waist, his grip strong and immovable.
I pushed aside any fear I felt, forced myself to focus on the moment, on distracting him enough.
“I have not been loving enough, and for that, I am deeply sorry,” I said, my voice husky and warm. “I…would like to make that up to you…if you would so allow me.”
Another growl rose from his lips as I stood on my tip toes and pressed my lips against his. Eagerly he met me, pulling me tightly against him, opening his mouth as he kissed me more deeply.
I allowed it, and poured in even more passion myself, so much so that my cheeks flushed and I was gasping for breath.
It wasn’t long before Richard lifted me off my feet and we fell onto the bed together, a tangle of limbs and blankets.
I laid beside him some time later as still and silent as I could until I heard the steady rise and fall of his breath.
I took a deep, steadying breath and stared up at the dark ceiling. Well, my plan had worked. I had distracted him enough. He was a man, after all. I knew he wouldn’t have been able to resist my advances.
I couldn’t linger, though. With the knowledge I had of him now, I wasn’t keen on laying in bed all curled up against him anymore than I had to pretend to.
Slowly I slid out from underneath the blankets, careful not to tug any of them off of Richard. I froze as he gave a jerking snort before rolling over onto his side.
I sat there, my heart racing, waiting, perfectly still until I was certain he had fallen back asleep.
My feet touched down on the cold wood, and I gingerly rose from the bed. Richard didn’t move at all.
I grabbed my nightgown from the floor and pulled it back over my head before quietly walking back across the room to his desk. Glancing over my shoulder one last time, I slowly tried the drawer that I knew hid the files. It gave easily, and I was able to snatch the documents out without Richard waking.
I slid the drawer closed once more, deciding to leave some behind as to not make him suspicious, and I ducked out of the room as quickly as I could.
I let out a shuttering breath om the other side of the door, sagging against the wall.
What was happening to me that I was willing to go to such lengths to discover the truth?
It didn’t matter. I turned and strode down the hall, the answers to all my questions grasped tightly in my hands.
Chapter 9
The next morning at breakfast, Richard couldn’t keep his eyes off me. There was this twisted, animal grin on his face as he stared hungrily at me over the top of his goblet. It was almost as if he wished to have his way with me right there in the middle of breakfast.
I did my best to play coy, averting his eyes just enough to keep him interested. The longer he believed the lie I had told him, the better off I was and the less suspicious he would be of me.
Mrs. Brian entered the dining room halfway through the meal, breaking the growing tension between Richard and I.
“Lady Nash, a letter has arrived for you,” she said, her nostrils flaring just as they always did. She handed the sealed parchment to me with a stiff curtsy.
I took it and broke the seal. I could feel Richard’s gaze on the side of my head. “Who is it from, my dear?” he asked.
My heart was pounding. Surely Mr. Watson wouldn’t have been so foolish as to send me a letter so early in the day when Richard might see it?
My eyes quickly scanned the page as I searched for the signature. I smiled and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Oh, it’s a letter from my dear friend Lord Jonathon,” I said. My head was light with the rapid shift from terror to joy. “And it appears that my father has added a special note for me as well. He must have gone to visit them now that the weather is nice.”
“Lord Jonathon?” Richard asked, his curiosity coating his words in suspicion. “I’m afraid I am unfamiliar with that name.”
“Oh, he is the son of the Earl of Sumpter,” I said. “We were practically family. They lived just down the hill from me.”
“I see,” Richard said, glancing down at his plate.
“I’m certain you have met him,” I said hurriedly. “When I told him we were to be married, he had nothing but high praise for you, and seemed quite familiar with your decorated history.”
“I do know his father,” Richard said, running his fingers over his chin. “Yes, perhaps I’ve met the lad. What did he have to say?”
I realized I hadn’t actually read the letter in full yet. “He tells me my family is well, and…” I smiled. “My sisters are apparently missing me quite dearly. And, oh! He says he will be in London come tomorrow, and was hoping to stop by and spend some time with us.”
“Well, I don’t very well see why not,” Richard said. “Although, I must take a small trip up to Nottingham this evening.”
“Oh,” I said with mock sadness. “What brings you there?”
“Just some business,” he said, shaking his head. “Rather dull business, I might add. Oh well. You shall have to give Lord Jonathon my best if he leaves before I return.”
“Of course I will,” I said.
Richard wiped his face with his napkin before rising to his feet. “Well, I must be off. Early day today. A great deal to get done.” He swooped down and gave me a quick peck on the forehead as he passed by me. “Have a wonderful day, dear. I shall be home soon…don’t long for me too much.”
I forced a smile on my face as he made his way from the dining room, hoping that it appeared innocent enough to him.
I was ecstatic for him to be gone. The truth was, I had spent most of the night reading through his documents. Many of them were vague, but some were more poignant than the others, even though I had a hard time discerning what order they were supposed to be in. Some didn’t have dates, and others had been crossed out for some reason.
Frustrated and exhausted, I had stashed his files inside one of the books I had brought with me from home that I always kept on my side table, knowing that Isabelle, or nosy Mrs. Brian would never go through it.
I knew it would be far too suspicious for me to withdraw so soon after Richard left, so I decided to spend some time in the library reading up about the war with the French. There were many documented accounts, most of which were placed there by Richard, no doubt. It was clear he was proud of his supposed accomplishments.
I didn’t have long before Isabelle found me and told me that my guest had arrived.
“Already?” I asked. “I thought Jonathon said he would be arriving tomorrow – ”
My stomach turned over. It wouldn’t be Mr. Watson again, would it?
My heart was in my throat as I followed Isabelle to the parlor. As soon as I stepped inside, my fears were assuaged. It was indeed Jonathon standing beside the settee, his hat in his hands.
“Oh, Lady Nash,” he said, a wide smile stretching over his face. “How wonderful it is to see you.”
“It is wonderful to see you as well, Lord Jonathon,” I said, my smile growing wider. “Oh, good heavens, it has been too long, hasn’t it?”
“Indeed it has,” he said.
“Where is your new bride?” I asked, looking about the room.
“She’s home right now,” Jonathon said, a glint in his eyes. “She is with child, and thought the long trip into London might be too distressing for her.”
“Oh, congratulations, Jonathon!” I said, clapping my hands together. “My, this is happy news!”
He nodded. “Yes, it is good news indeed. It’s been a difficult first part of the pregnancy, but the doctor has assured us that is perfectly normal, and that as long as she has plenty of rest, she and the baby will be just fine.”
There was a tightness around his eyes that made my heart skip.
“Jonathon, are you quite all right?” I asked.
“Oh, yes, of course,” he said. “Everything is just fine. I’m just a bit tired from the journey is all.”
I stared into the face of my friend and saw lines there that had not been there months before. The knots in my chest tightened.
I turned to Isabelle. “Isabelle, would you please go get us some tea and something to eat for poor Lord Jonathon? Perhaps a nice, warm mince pie?”
“Oh, I’m quite all right,” Jonathon insisted.
“Nonsense,” I said, gesturing to the settee for him to sit. “Allow me to take care of you, just for a moment.”
Isabelle bowed herself from the room, leaving Jonathon and I alone.
It was eerie how similar this felt to M
r. Watson’s visit. At least I didn’t have to lie this time.
Jonathon sighed heavily after Isabelle left, sinking his head into his hands. “I’m terribly sorry, Maryanne. I didn’t mean to show up quite as exhausted as I’m feeling,” he said.
“It’s quite all right,” I said. “I’m rather concerned about you, my friend. Whatever is the matter?”
“I lied to you,” he said, lifting his eyes to me. “My wife didn’t decide to stay home because of the baby. No, she simply did not want to come. She has a very hard time with the idea of me having a woman as a close friend.”
My stomach dropped. “It isn’t as if there was anything between us,” I said.
He swallowed nervously, and nodded his head. “She won’t believe me, no matter what I tell her. That’s a great deal of the reason why I haven’t written to you hardly at all since you were married.”
“Oh, Jonathon dear, it’s fine,” I said. “I assumed that you had things to be getting on with in your own life. I was never upset.”
“Yes, well, I was. My wife is insufferable sometimes…” he said, burying his heads in his hands. “At least you seem to be having a happy marriage. I’ve never seen you so beautiful before.”
I flushed, and was grateful that his eyes were covered. “Well…I wouldn’t be so keen on the word happy, exactly…”
He rose his head and looked at me. “What do you mean?”
I shrugged. “It’s rather complicated, Jonathon. I don’t know if I should be discussing – ”
“Well, if you can’t tell me, then who can you tell?” he asked. “Come on, Maryanne. I would very much like to hear whatever it is you wanted to say.”
There was a part of me, a rather large part, that wanted to just admit everything to him right then and there. My heart would be lighter, and I wouldn’t have to carry this burden alone any longer. Perhaps Jonathon would be willing to help me seek information. Perhaps he would know something I hadn’t.
Then again…Mr. Watson had made me promise to not share this with anyone. I had never heard a negative word against the Colonel from anyone, even Jonathon, and I wasn’t so sure it was wise to be spreading information like this around, even to someone I would trust with my life.