Just a Memory

by Lois Carroll

No way. No how.

  Mac drove straight from The Costume Nook to the police station. Talking to Hines would be better than trying to figure out what was happening to him. His life had taken so many sudden turns lately.

  After Lakehaven’s former Chief of Police had a near-fatal heart attack, forcing his retirement, Mac’s boss had asked if he would fill in temporarily. When Mac agreed, he’d also assigned Hines to Lakehaven duty for as long as Mac was there.

  “The town council will eventually appoint a permanent chief. For now the job is just what you need to stay active,” his boss had reasoned. “You can take it easy on that shoulder for a while longer so it heals properly.”

  Mac took the job because he would rather be Acting Chief in sleepy rural Lakehaven than sitting and staring at the walls of his old apartment in Albany, on medical leave with nothing to do. So he’d given up the apartment, put his furniture in storage, and come to Lakehaven.

  So far the temporary job had been uneventful. Apparently not anymore. Carolyn said everyone knew everyone else by their first names here. Did they also know they had a burglar or a vandal in their midst?

  Carolyn’s image reappeared in his thoughts. Who could be angry enough at the pretty Widow Blake to hit her store? The idea that someone would hurt her made Mac angry and that wasn’t good. He’d vowed he wouldn’t let any woman affect him personally ever again.

  One of the town’s two cars with LAKEHAVEN POLICE painted on the side doors was in the department lot when Mac drove up. He walked past it to the station door and wondered if Hines was getting used to driving a cruiser instead of the beat-up nondescript vehicles they used on undercover stakeouts.

  Through the station’s glass doors, Mac saw Hines studying a map with Ellie. Mac had already noticed how she paid great attention to detail. He had the distinct feeling the former Chief had sorely underutilized her talents. His loss, Mac concluded easily.

  Hines watched over her shoulder as Ellie pointed to something on the map covering her desk. The entrance door whooshed open announcing Mac’s arrival and Ellie jumped up to stand at attention. She inadvertently rammed her chair back squarely into Hines’s midsection. He doubled over, bringing his chin in line with her rising shoulder. The quick hard contact as she rose snapped his head back and momentarily knocked him off balance.

  “Oh, my gosh. I’m so sorry,” Ellie said as she spun around to face Hines. “Are you okay?”

  Hines recovered his stance easily enough, but rubbing his chin he glared at her. “You got it in for me or something?”

  She looked from Hines to Mac and her olive cheeks appeared rosy. “I’m really sorry,” she repeated nervously.

  “Nice one-two, Ellie,” Mac said, doing his best to repress a laugh.

  “Damn lucky I haven’t got a glass chin,” Hines groused with a glance at Ellie who was wringing her hands and chewing her lower lip.

  “As soon as you’re finished injuring Ellie’s shoulder, Hines, I’d like to see what’s new on the costume shop breakin,” Mac announced as he passed her desk. “And Ellie, you’ve got to stop snapping to attention every time I come in, even though the former Chief made you do it.”

  Ellie replied with a weak, “Yes, sir.”

  Hines stopped working his jaw from side to side long enough to say something to Ellie in low tones, and then he followed Mac into his office.

  Mac hooked his wet coat on the rack and the two men relaxed in chairs on either side of the desk. Hines crossed his jeans-clad legs and rested an ankle on the opposite knee.

  “I see you didn’t waste any time getting out of your uniform,” Mac said.

  Hines shuddered with exaggerated motions. “Don’t remind me of that thing. Maybe I can get the Health Department to declare it a health hazard.”

  Mac raised his chin and sniffed the air. “I don’t smell anything. What did you do with it?”

  “The storeroom. I figured even the smell of cleaning supplies on it must be better than the wet wool smell. What do you think?”

  “Probably right,” Mac agreed with a laugh. “You know, we could still order the new ones that won’t smell.”

  “We’re not gonna be here long enough. Waste of money.” Hines pulled out his notebook. “We haven’t found out much more about the breakin,” he continued, getting down to business. He rose and stuck a pin in the large wall map of Lakehaven to mark the location. “If you ask me, there were other stores on the block that would have been easier to break into than the one the perp chose. Ones where he’d have a better take, too. Hell, what dummy would want costumes ten days after Halloween?”

  Mac stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Whoever broke in was strong enough to smash in the door with one blow. There were no other marks.”

  “The door wasn’t all that strong, but he didn’t seem to mind making noise smashing it. Somebody should have heard it.”

  “Why’d he pick that particular store?” Mac felt uneasy that someone had targeted Carolyn’s business. He rubbed the back of his neck.

  “And why wasn’t he spotted?” Hines added. “There are other store entrances in that alley, and several apartments above those stores. It’s like he was invisible.”

  “Check out all the usual angles, like insurance, anyone fired recently, you know. Oh, and find out all you can about whoever owns the building. A Mr. White of White Properties.”

  “Got it. Could be White is going for the insurance to cover the repairs or improvements he doesn’t want to pay for,” Hines suggested.

  “He sure wouldn’t be the first. Maybe in a town this size, he thinks he’ll be able to get away with it. If that’s the case, we’ll set him straight.”

  “Damn straight. We can’t let that happen as long as we’re on duty,” Hines said, joking as he strode to the office door. He swung around and gave Mac an exaggerated salute. “Why, if I’d given out a jaywalking ticket today, we would have a crime spree!”

  Mac laughed. “And we certainly can’t have that.” He leaned forward, his elbows on his desk pad. “Say, by the way, there’s one thing you forgot this morning, buddy.”

  “Huh?” Hines released his grip on the doorknob and turned back to face Mac. “What did I forget, man?”

  “Forget?” Mac rubbed his chin pensively. “Maybe forget is the wrong word,” he said softly. He rose and walked around the desk, slipping his hands into his pants pockets. A foot from Hines, he leaned close and asked, “Why the hell didn’t you tell me the shop owner just happened to be a beautiful widow?” Mac straightened and held his hand up palm out like a crossing guard before Hines could respond with more than a grin. “And don’t tell me you didn’t think it was important.”

  Hines chuckled. “Hell no. Why do you think I wanted you to be sure to go in? But if I had told you, what would you have done differently?”

  Mac shrugged. “Nothing. But you still should have told me.”

  “Hey, I even made sure I got her phone numbers at work and at home, right here for ya, man,” Hines said, his grin broadening. “I thought you’d thank me!” He pulled out the pad from his pocket and ripped off the back page with the information and handed it to Mac.

  Mac shook his head, but he took it. “Hell, the best thing for her would be if I lost this. A woman like her isn’t interested in a guy who’s here today and plans to be gone tomorrow.”

  Hines shrugged. “Maybe you should let the lady decide who she’s interested in and who she’s not interested in.”

  “Yeah, maybe.” Mac pocketed the paper and reached for his trench coat. “Damn. Every time I put this thing on, it’s still wet from the last time I wore it.”

  “Cheer up, my man. Ellie says there’ll be a lot of snow soon, maybe by Thanksgiving. That’ll give you something new to grumble about.”

  They laughed as they walked out of Mac’s office. Hines continued past Ellie’s desk to his own. She looked up as Mac stopped to talk to her.

  “Ellie, I was supposed to meet the realtor ten minutes ago and I haven’t even eaten lu
nch yet. If she calls, tell her I’m on my way. I’ll check back here afterward if it’s early enough, but don’t stay overtime waiting for me, you hear? You already put in more hours than this town pays you for.”

  She nodded. “You’re still determined to find a place to live on the lake? I know lots of people own summer camps along the shore, but I think it would be pretty lonely out there in the winter.”

  “One of the things I like about this area is the peace and quiet. No big factories polluting the air, no noisy traffic, no subways, no drive-by shootings. Get the picture? If I have a lake place, I can always come back for some R and R, even after I’m long gone from Lakehaven. Besides, I’ll only be here one winter so it won’t be so bad living out there alone.”

  “Lakehaven’s not so peaceful and quiet today, what with the burglary and all. Sorry about that. That’s not our usual ‘welcome to Lakehaven’ greeting,” Ellie assured him.

  “Maybe somebody’s trying to make us feel right at home by upping the local crime rate,” Hines suggested with a grin. “That’s sweet as honey!”

  “Oh, no. I mean yes,” she responded, appearing eager to clarify her view. “We all want you to feel at home, but this is very unusual. Really. Nothing like this has happened in the ten years I’ve lived here. Life just isn’t like this in Lakehaven.”

  “When we find the jerk who did the number on the costume shop, we’ll make sure he understands that,” Mac assured her with a smile as he strode toward the exit.

  “Chief,” she called to stop him before he got through the door. She hurried over to him, her hands repeatedly twisting the pencil she held. “I…I just wanted to say that I’m glad you accepted this temporary position in Lakehaven. I…I hope it turns out to be a…a permanent one.”

  Uncomfortable with her comments, Mac shifted from one foot to the other. He couldn’t let her know just how temporary his appointment was–that he might be out of there tomorrow if his memory returned tonight. She didn’t want to hear he probably wouldn’t last the year until a permanent chief was found and installed. “I appreciate that,” he said instead.

  “It’s great to work with you and Hines. It means a lot to have both of you respect me as a woman and as a police officer.”

  “Hey, that’s not a problem for us, Ellie. From what I’ve seen in the short time I’ve been here, you’re good at your job.”

  “Well, thanks. I’m just grateful you don’t treat me as if I’m less than capable just because I’m a woman. That’s all.”

  Mac looked at her pixie face and noticed she’d done her long black hair in a severe bun, as she did each day. To make herself look more serious and less cute, he suspected. She’d been a policewoman for three years and the former Chief had thought of her as little more than a meter maid, or worse, a coffee maker and file clerk.

  “I’d hate to have any of my people gender-challenged!” Mac jested, getting the smile he sought to put Ellie at ease. He looked at her pretty face, her wide hazel eyes and long dark lashes, and wondered why in the weeks he’d worked with her she’d never affected him on a personal level the way Carolyn Blake had in only twenty minutes.

  “Thanks.” She smiled and returned to her desk, absently rubbing her shoulder where it had clipped Hines’s chin.

  Chapter Three

  Mac wished finding a fast lunch in Lakehaven was easier. The restaurant downtown was too slow, the motel coffee shop tables would be full by now because of the popular view of the lake, and there were only two small family-run drive-thrus on the county road. One of those was open only in the warm months of the year.

  He chose the open drive-through and ate as he hurried to meet the realtor. He couldn’t remember her name at the moment, but he remembered her heavy perfume had clung to his jacket for hours after looking at a couple of places with her last week. He thought of the light fragrance Carolyn had been wearing. Disturbed that she’d popped into his head again, Mac crumpled the sandwich wrapper, shoved it into the little bag and tossed it onto the back seat. Minutes later he pulled up the driveway of the prospective house. He knew at first sight that it wasn’t what he wanted, but he walked through it anyway.

  The realtor’s name was Sandi Houseman, she quickly reminded him. She talked incessantly about everything from how much she loved selling real estate to inviting him to lunch for the third time since they’d met. The look in her eyes told him lunch was just the beginning of the things she would like to invite him to.

  Mac turned her down gently, blaming job responsibilities. The thought came to him that there must not be many chances for socializing in this small town, or why else would the lovely Widow Blake still be unmarried?

  Just as simple as that, she was in his thoughts again.

  Damn.

  While Mac waited for Sandi to lock up the house, his gaze went to the lake where the waves splashed over the stones on the shoreline. Typical of the many glacial lakes in the area, it looked clean and good and pure–so unlike his former work environment.

  There has to be a place on the lake I can call home, he thought with renewed determination.

  Home. The word was almost foreign to him. He thought of where he’d lived as a child–the old brownstone that always smelled of last night’s dinner. That had felt like a home. After his policeman father was fatally shot on duty and his mother died soon after, Mac saw no reason to keep the place once he’d started college.

  Selling it and investing the money turned out to be a smart move. By the time he completed his studies in criminology, the old neighborhood had changed. Instead of looking like the friendly setting for a Sesame Street episode, it more closely resembled an inner city war zone.

  Despite his father’s untimely death and the change in the neighborhood, Mac still clung to the optimism his dad had instilled in him with his motto, ‘One person can make a difference.’ Mac wanted to make the world a better place and consciously decided to follow in his father’s footsteps–to pick up where he’d left off.

  With two college degrees before graduating from the police academy, Mac moved up in rank farther and faster than his father had ever dreamed possible. Mac proved to be both smart and street-smart–a valuable combination in police work.

  However, the sacrifices necessary to get where Mac was–or rather where he had been before he got shot–had been great. His job in the special task force unit meant Mac had to be a loner. His love life was practically nonexistent. He hadn’t led a completely celibate life, but when he sought female companionship it couldn’t be the same woman too often. Nowadays that was a tough position to be in, since any kind of real relationship could, and often did, threaten her safety as well. His job as a sometime undercover agent made domestic life impossible.

  That wasn’t the only reason he was a loner. He’d seen what his dad’s violent death had done to his mom. She never recovered; within a year, she too was dead. Mac could never marry a woman and put her through that. Never.

  So if he ever got close enough to a woman to think of marriage, he’d remember what happened to his mom and walk away. So far his plan had worked without any great regret. One thought kept taunting him lately: what if his shot-up shoulder kept him from rejoining the special unit? What then?

  The beep of Sandi’s car horn brought him out of his reverie. After assuring him the next house would be perfect for him, she smiled brightly and pulled out of the driveway ahead of him. Mac sighed and followed her to the next house on her list.

  The white-capped water was visible from the road through the leafless trees. He stretched over the wheel to see down a ravine and his breath caught when a sharp pain sizzled across his shoulder. He damned the bullets that had ripped into his flesh and changed his life so completely. What angered him more was that he couldn’t even have the satisfaction of fingering who’d shot him because of his partial amnesia. If only he could remember what he saw that night…

  Mac knew if–no, when–his memory returned, he would be a marked man. The cop killer would try to ki
ll him because Mac could identify him and testify in court. In fact, Mac couldn’t figure out why there hadn’t already been an attempt on his life since then. Moving away from the city couldn’t be the answer, because anyone who could run the kind of huge operation Mac and his associates had broken up would be able to find him eventually. So unless they just hadn’t found him yet because they weren’t looking in a small backwater town like Lakehaven, there had to be another reason Mac was still breathing.

  Meanwhile, with orders just to keep the peace in town, Mac had time on his hands. He certainly wasn’t under the same stress or in the same danger he’d been in with former assignments. He could relax and live an almost normal life here.

  The road curved and Mac saw a rocky point jutting out into the lake. Tall straight pines stood throughout the wooded lot like sentinels. Huge boulders protected the beach below a modern-looking house. The gray cedar shingle siding blended in with the woods. Mac was struck by the rugged natural beauty.

  With a pessimistic sigh, he hoped the next house on the realtor’s list showed as much promise, but he doubted it would. He decided then to tell Ms. Houseman he would rather stop looking for a place to buy than to settle for less.

  Ellie was on the phone when Hines stepped into the file room, the space he’d appropriated as his private dressing room. She always felt nervous with him changing in there as he had earlier when he’d returned rain-soaked. She remembered seeing his bare shoulders glistening damply when he’d pulled off his jacket and shirt and hung them on his chair before he’d ducked into the file room to change into his jeans. His body looked like milk chocolate sculpted by an artist who’d captured the perfect male form. She felt her cheeks warm just thinking about it.

  She smiled at him over her shoulder when he returned. “How did you ever end up working here in Lakehaven, Officer Hines?”

  Hines shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe I’m their token minority.”

  “I always thought I was,” she countered with a laugh.

  “Listen, you’ve got great potential as a cop, and don’t you ever forget it.” He shrugged. “I don’t intend to work here forever and when I head back to the city, I just might take you with me. You’d love working there.”