I was full out sobbing when it stopped. I couldn’t even control myself, and I tried yelling for Linden again. All my adrenaline was gone and I didn’t have the strength to get up. Luckily my voice was coming back gradually, stronger each time I tried to say his name. Finally I thought it was loud enough to get his attention, though I also worried that Omar might hear.
There was only silence after my last cry. I held my breath for a second, containing my crying so I could hear better. When I didn’t hear anything at all, I held my face in my hands, at a loss of what to do.
The sudden sound of a door opening caught my attention. I wasn’t sure if it came from Linden’s house or the neighbors.
“Riley?”
I almost couldn’t believe it when I heard his voice. “Linden!” I tried to push myself up from the soggy ground, but my arms and legs were shaking too hard. I resorted to trying to pull myself closer to the hammock as I heard his footsteps on the drive. He called my name again, this time with more force, and I responded, giving up on moving. From the barely tangible light I could see his silhouette coming closer and it made my tears flow faster.
“What the hell are you doing out here?” he asked when he saw me. As he got closer, he must have been able to see better, because he rushed over and crouched beside me. “What the—what happened?”
I couldn’t answer him, I only held his arms as his hands pushed my soaking hair back. He didn’t hesitate to ask if I could walk, just picked me up and turned in the direction of his house.
The lights inside were blinding, and I squinted hard against them, turning my face into his chest. He went up the stairs to the bathroom where he set me down and left to get a few towels. The familiarity of his home comforted me a little, and I tried to wipe the tears off my face even though they were quickly replaced.
Linden sat next to me on the floor and handed me the towel. I dabbed my face first and then wrapped it around my shoulders.
“What the hell happened to you?” he asked, looking at my tattered appearance. I just sniffled and hid my face, trying to stop the constant trembling in my limbs.
“Do you want to shower?” he asked next.
I considered it for a second and then nodded. He stood up and pulled the curtain across the bath and started the water. While he was busy with that, I braced my hands on the wall and stood up, leaning heavily on anything I could. Linden gently supported me, looking at the faded markings of clay still left on me.
“Is it okay to wash those off?” he asked. I had completely forgotten about them, but I didn’t care if they were gone. Most of them had partially washed off when I fell into the water anyway.
When the mirror had completely fogged up I put the towel down and waited. Linden said he would get me something else to wear, and he would be waiting outside if I needed anything. Lastly, he helped with the row of buttons at the back of my dress and then left silently.
I stood in the shower for a long time watching the water in the drain turn a reddish color from the clay. I didn’t know how I was ever going to begin to try to explain to Linden what happened. I wasn’t sure I was entirely sure. Either way, I was positive I didn’t want to go home.
When I turned off the shower, I found a t-shirt and boxers waiting on the counter. I dried off slowly before getting dressed and then glanced at myself in the mirror. I looked exhausted beyond anything else, and I ruffled my hair a little, taking a deep breath. The shower had helped a little.
As promised, Linden was waiting in the hall. He looked at me worriedly and waited as I stalled, trying to think of something to say.
“Can we sit in your room?” I asked quietly, my voice weak. Linden nodded immediately and led the way.
I sat on the edge of the bed while he sat next to me. I didn’t say anything for a long time, and he asked if I was okay.
“A little better than before,” I replied, looking at my hands. The knuckles of my right hand were sore and I kneaded them gently.
“Can you tell me what happened?” he asked, watching my actions.
I bit my lip, strictly telling myself to quit crying. I didn’t want to relive it at all, but I didn’t want to leave him in the dark.
“Can we turn off the light? Please … it’s really bugging my eyes,” I said quickly. Anything so he didn’t have to see my face.
Once in the dark, I lay down slowly, resting on my back. Linden lay next to me, propping himself up on his elbows.
“The ceremony was fine,” I started, whispering. “Everything went really well. I left afterwards to just walk around in the swamps and Omar followed me there.”
“Omar?”
“He lives in the house with me; we’ve been friends for a long time,” I explained. “He wanted to talk to me, I guess. Rene told him about a journey I had, and she really shouldn’t have.” Here I paused, hesitant to tell him about it. But why not? “In the journey you were in this pool. You were there instead of my reflection, but you moved like a reflection. When I touched the surface you sunk and a water lily came up from your breath.
“I didn’t tell Rene it was you though. It would have been bad, so I told her it was Omar. Basically she went and told him about it saying something about twin flames. He kept saying it was supposed to happen …”
I trailed off, my voice straining again. I felt tears fall from the corner of my eyes and into my hair. “I told him what really happened and that he was wrong. And he just—got mad.”
I left it at that for the moment. I couldn’t say the rest, and I didn’t want to explain it. Linden was silent, nodding to himself slightly.
“Got mad, huh?” There was angry sarcasm laced in his voice, and I didn’t know if it was directed at me or not.
I turned to him and saw he was staring off at the wall. Carefully tapping into his aura, I jumped back when I felt the intense anger.
“Can I stay here tonight?” I asked, hoping to sway his feelings.
“Yes. I wouldn’t let you go home anyway,” he replied, smiling slightly. I thanked him as he lay on his back, looking thoughtful. I turned on my side, my back to him, and felt the various places on my body that hurt. My knees, my stomach, my arms and wrists, my head; everything.
I lay there for hours, not moving or sleeping. Linden never said a word, and he didn’t touch me. I wondered who he was actually angry with, and what this would do to us.
Us, I thought. I think it was the first time I thought of our situation as ‘us’. Things that happened to me now directly affected him, and vice versa. I was incredibly grateful he had been here, and he didn’t pry or force me to speak. It was the best thing anyone could do.
I rolled over, my body stiff. Linden still lay on his back, eyes closed, one arm over his head. I just watched him sleep for a few minutes before I moved closer to him. Resting my head on his shoulder, he opened his eyes like he’d never been asleep. I draped one arm over his chest and settled against him, completely comfortable. With one arm around my shoulders and the other hand stroking my arm, I felt safe. He kissed my temple and let out a breath, his body relaxing. I wasn’t sure if I could sleep at all, but in this place, in a bed beside him, I could certainly try.
I woke up a few hours later, sore beyond belief. I had moved around in my sleep, and my hands were now under the pillow, face buried in the mattress. When I opened my eyes a little, the room was a dim gray with the early morning. My eyes felt puffy and I rolled over slowly. Linden was dead asleep and sprawled out on more than half the bed. His hair covered most of his face, but I could tell by his breathing he was out cold.
I took this opportunity to stand and shakily make my way to the bathroom. I left the light off as I splashed my face with cold water, taking a long drink before I turned it off. My reflection looked a little better than the night before. There were a few tiny scratches from branches on my cheek, and my arms were in worse shape anyway. Light bruises created bracelets and there was one blue finger imprint on my upper arm. My hand hurt worse now too, and I massaged the k
nuckles as I walked back to the bedroom.
Linden was half awake and stretching under the covers. He still hadn’t really noticed the empty half of the bed until I crawled back in. He looked at me through hooded eyes and squeezed me against him.
“What time is it?” he groaned.
“I don’t know, pretty early,” I replied.
“Way too early,” he said, burying his face in my neck. He looked back up at me and smiled, asking if I slept okay.
“Yeah, I did,” I replied, pushing my hair away from my face. His expression darkened when he saw my wrist. I tried to shove my hand back under the sheets, but he had already seen.
“Did Omar do that?” he asked.
I couldn’t lie to him. “Yeah.”
“Are you going to tell anyone besides me?”
I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do. If I could have it my way, I would never go back to the house. But I knew that was out of reach.
“I don’t know,” I finally said.
Linden seemed to accept that for now and sat up, suggesting breakfast. I trailed after him, listening to him rattle off what kind of things he could make for us to eat. Still in a sort of daze, I barely heard anything he said. My mind was still jammed on disbelief and shock of Omar’s actions. Had he had too much wine to think rationally? Was that even an excuse?
“Riley, did you hear me?” Linden asked from across the room.
“What? Sorry.” I had been standing near the kitchen cabinets just thinking.
“I said I think Meryl’s here. Yeah, that’s definitely Meryl.”
I rushed to his side where he stood by the window. It was true; Meryl was just locking up her car and walking towards the door.
“If she’s here for me, I don’t want to see her,” I said, going towards the stairs.
“Wait, what? Why not?” he asked, going after me.
“I just don’t, okay? Tell her I don’t want to talk to anyone,” I said. When she knocked on the door, I waited for Linden to reply. He finally nodded, and I went up the stairs to hide behind the wall of the second floor.
I listened as Linden opened the door and politely let Meryl in.
“What brings you here so early?” he asked jokingly.
“I’m so sorry to bother you, I was just wondering if you’d seen Riley since yesterday. She hasn’t been home from some—family gathering—and I was just getting worried.”
Linden paused, and I knew he was debating with telling the truth or not. “Yeah, she’s here.”
“She is? Oh thank God!” Meryl said loudly. “Is she all right? Has she been here all night?”
“Yeah, she was here all night. Here, come in here and I’ll explain.”
Their footsteps died away in the kitchen, and I couldn’t hear them well anymore. I only heard the rumble of Linden’s voice and Meryl’s muttered replies.
I slid down to the floor, leaning against the wall. I didn’t know what to do now. I was still going to stand by my word and vow I didn’t want to go home. I could sneak in my window for the stuff I really needed, but other than that I wanted no confrontations. First off, I wondered what Omar had done after I hit him. If he went home, what did he tell everyone else? I was surprised there wasn’t some crazy manhunt going on. If Meryl was on my side she could speak for me.
But what if Linden doesn’t want me to stay? It seemed like a ridiculous thought, but it was possible, too. Maybe he was just as secluded as his home; he could be a lover of privacy, and here I was assuming I could stay. I looked down the hall at all the empty rooms and thought about taking one of those. If he wanted privacy I could easily stay out of his way.
“What?”
Meryl’s sudden shriek from the kitchen made me jump. I guess Linden had finally gotten to the point.
“Where is she?” Meryl demanded, her voice now in the living room. “Riley? Sweetheart, where are you?”
Her footsteps were rushing up the stairs and I didn’t have time to get up and duck into another room. She rounded the corner and looked down at me seeming almost tearful.
“Oh honey, come here,” she said, sitting beside me and hugging me hard. “Are you all right? Did he hurt you?”
“I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” I said, smiling to reassure her. “Really, I’m okay.”
She obviously didn’t believe me at all and pulled me to my feet, insisting I come downstairs for tea. In the kitchen, Linden already had three cups set out, hot water at the ready. He shrugged at me slightly, apologetically, but I didn’t mind. This was bound to blow up sometime.
Meryl sat me down at the table by the window, shoving a cup at me as she dumped in some tea leaves from a jar. “You have to tell me what happened. One minute you were at your party, the next you’re gone. Rene thought you’d gone to meditate.”
“No, it was just for a walk,” I replied. “Just for fresh air.”
Meryl shook her head as she sat down. “And he followed you.” A statement full of anger, no questions.
I cleared my throat nervously before going on. “I don’t think he meant to do it.”
“Meant to?” Meryl repeated.
“So?” Linden added. I looked at him, stunned at his tone. “It’s not like it was an accident, Riley.”
“There was a lot of wine, and he was pretty pissed when I said he wasn’t—”
“Riley, no,” Meryl cut in, almost sadly. “From what I understand—”
“No, you can’t understand,” I interrupted. “I don’t even really get it. But what I know is that I don’t want this to become some huge thing. When you see Rene again you can tell her I’m not coming home.”
Meryl sighed and stirred her tea as Linden mulled over his by the counter.
“What did Omar say when he got home? Were you there?” I asked.
Meryl nodded. “Yes, I was there. He came in and his lip was bleeding. He said he was just making sure you were all right and he fell over some debris on his way back.”
What a slick liar. And no one would question him of course. Who suspects that a fellow friend would do something like that? Who would think it was my fist that caused the bleeding?
“I don’t know what to say to Rene. She was a little worried that you weren’t home this morning, but I was sure you would turn up at work,” Meryl said after a long pause.
“Sorry. I forgot about that.”
“No, don’t apologize, Lisa is perfectly capable.”
“You could tell her the truth,” Linden said. “She needs to know what kind of people she’s harboring in that house.”
I silently agreed, but I wasn’t about to offer to go share my story. “You can tell Rene whatever you want, but I’m not going back there.”
“Where are you staying? Here?” Meryl asked.
I glanced at Linden before I answered, but he spoke before me. “Yeah, she’s staying here.”
I smiled slightly to myself. “You can tell Rene that, too. But she can’t make me leave.”
“Don’t worry, I’m with you on this,” Meryl said. “And I’ll do my best to talk to her. I’ll keep in touch with you, but in the meantime you take it easy; don’t be hard on yourself.”
I smiled meekly. “Thanks, I’ll try.”
She gave my shoulder a squeeze and stood, thanking Linden for being honest. As soon as she left, I swirled my tea around and contemplated how to phrase my next question.
“Are you sure you’re okay with me staying here?”
“Okay?” he repeated in disbelief. “I’d be crushed if you tried to leave.” He grasped his chest dramatically and sat with me at the table, staring out the window at his approaching storm. “I hope you don’t mind it raining today. I could always drown out Omar for you.”
I laughed, using my will to stir the tea. “No, it’s okay. You don’t have to flood anyone.”
“Well damn. I was kind of looking forward to it.”
The way he said it made me think he wasn’t joking at all.
NAME
/> Linden and I waited until late that evening to go back to my house. I absolutely didn’t want to, but Linden insisted I needed to get some of my own things.
“You’re going to get tired of walking around in my stuff, I know it,” he said as we walked. I didn’t particularly mind, but I did need to get a few things in order to survive.
It was past two in the morning and the entire house was dark. My heart was pounding in my chest and Linden held my hand tightly as we approached.
“Are you going to wait down here?” I breathed, hardly whispering when we stood at the lattice.
Linden shook his head and pointed up. I guess he was coming with me.
I started up first, thankful the lattice was wet so it barely squeaked. On the roof, I waited for Linden as he easily climbed up. We took cautious steps, and I tried to avoid all the spots that made the most noise. At my window, I tried to peer inside to see if it was locked. When I lifted it, it gave way easily, which meant no one had been in my room since I left.
I climbed in silently and waited for Linden. I turned on the bedside lamp, then hurried to my door to shove some of the dirty clothes against the crack at the bottom. That way if anyone was awake they were less likely to notice me.
“This is a nice place,” Linden commented as he looked around.
“It’s messy,” I replied, searching for a backpack in my closet. I finally found one and made sure it was empty before stuffing clothes into it. Linden just sat on my bed, waiting as I tried to get everything I needed as quickly as possible.
“Crap, I need my toothbrush,” I said when I thought I had everything. “I’ll be right back.”
“Hurry,” Linden whispered before I left. I could tell he was just as nervous—if not more than me—about being here.
The hallway was pitch black and I felt my way to the bathroom. Blindly, I grabbed my toothbrush from the usual spot on the sink. I disregarded anything else and hurried back to my room.
Linden was looking through my books on the floor when I came back. He looked panicked for a second, but then relaxed. “Ready?”
“Yeah I think so,” I said, putting the toothbrush in my bag. I gave my room the glance-over before deciding we could leave. But we both froze when the doorknob turned.
The Evensong Page 18