What's a Ghoul to Do? : Fangly, My Dear series

by Mardi Ballou

  Less than an hour before they were going to leave for Oregon, his cell rang.

  “Someone here to see you,” a voice announced.

  He really didn’t have time, but then he saw it was Lilith.

  Rafe looked so harried, Lilith almost regretted coming. The last thing she wanted was to be one more unwelcome chore for him to deal with. No sense beating around the bush. “I understand you’re leaving very soon.”

  He nodded. “A situation we’d been watching just went from potential to actual trouble. We can’t wait any longer.”

  She closed her eyes and recited a little charm Dominique had taught her to keep him safe. “I’m sorry.”

  He put his hand on her arm, unleashing an electric storm to course through her. They both gazed at each other and said nothing, silently communicating more than a thousand words could have expressed. Even though she knew it was impossible, she wanted to go off with him, somewhere they could be alone. Who was she fooling? She wanted him to throw her down on the ground and cover her with his body, to make wild monkey love to her here, on this very spot where men were getting ready for battle.

  Or, even better, he’d lie on the ground and invite her to take his erection. He’d grab hold of her hands and pull her to him so she could straddle his powerful hips, drawing his long, thick cock into her. She could see he was already hard for her. Despite the chaos surging around them, a wave of reassurance soothed her. He wanted her. Even though they couldn’t do anything about satisfying their desires, knowing that he wanted her helped.

  “I didn’t want you to go without a chance to say good-bye.” Though tears began to well in her eyes, Lilith forced herself to exercise control. She didn’t want Rafe’s last image of her to be tearful. She wanted him to remember her smiling, the two of them happy. She wanted to give him a reason to come back.

  His eyes said so much. She melted, drowning in their depths.

  “I’m glad you came. It means a lot.” He put her hand over his heart. “I’ll come back. To you. When the battle’s over, when we’ve won, I’ll come back and we can be together.”

  His heart was beating so hard. Just like hers. “I’m not asking for any promises,” she whispered. “I just want you to know I’ll be thinking of you all the time.”

  Neither of them wanted to be the first to break the contact, but Lilith realized they were attracting attention—none of it friendly. People were looking at her like she was some cheap whore trying to distract their alpha at the worst possible time. Goddess, she couldn’t allow herself to get emotionally bent out of shape just because other pack members were glaring. At this moment, other people’s opinions didn’t matter.

  When two old men came over looking as if they intended to drag Rafe away, Lilith admitted to herself that she had to let go. Grateful she’d had this chance to be with him, even though they hadn’t been able to share even a decent good-bye kiss, she backed away.

  ***

  They’d have walked into the ambush without the advance scouts’ work. Rafe knew better than to waste time and energy on remorse about almost leading his men into such a lethal trap. Almost didn’t count. The viciousness of the enemy, the readiness of the Loups-Noirs to resort to treachery—the upcoming conflict looked more and more like a major battle. He needed to focus on kicking their butt, booting them all the way back to freakin’ Vancouver, but he couldn’t shake the last image of Lilith’s face.

  He signaled for their convoy to stop right before they crossed the border into Oregon. Fortunately, one of the forested places that attracted few weekday visitors would do. The men who’d come with him parked their vehicles and circled around Rafe.

  “We’ll transform together and run as a pack.” His blood heated and coursed along with the usual pre-battle adrenaline rush.

  “But shouldn’t one of us remain in male form to get more troops here?” Buck Gravatt, runner-up for alpha, asked. Rafe considered, then rejected Buck’s suggestion. He needed all his men in wolf form to take on the greater numbers of Loups-Noirs. They’d have the element of surprise on their side—and the determination to defend their turf. The Loups-Noirs were not going to get past them and add the Wentworths to their empire.

  No matter how many times he accomplished the transformation, there was a moment of shock, of newness. Additional adrenaline began pumping as his muscles contracted. His snout grew and his backbone altered to accommodate the needs of his wolf’s body. In a matter of minutes, he was firmly cocooned in his fur, claws and teeth, ready for aggression.

  As he and his men raced to meet the enemy, one last thought of Lilith flickered before him. How would she feel if she could see him now? How would she react to this side of him, the animal he would never let anyone tame?

  That was his last thought before the Loups-Noirs sprang. The Wentworths were outnumbered, but not outclassed. When Rafe realized all the enemy had in their favor were superior numbers and primitive savagery, he knew his side would win. He made short work of the first attacker, a wolf whose huge bulk encumbered more than aided him. Though Rafe preferred to wound rather than kill, it was soon obvious that the Loups-Noirs were out for the ultimate defeat. Disgusted with the violence the enemy demanded, he tore out the throats of three wolves before checking to see how the others were doing.

  After a short, quick battle, the outcome was clear—the Wentworths would defeat the Loups-Noirs. Then Rafe realized Buck was in trouble. A snarling beast had him pinned beneath his paws and was lowering his head for the kill. No matter how Buck moved, he couldn’t outmaneuver the enemy. With a growl, Rafe launched himself at the attacker. Tearing at him with claws and teeth, Rafe managed to get the surprisingly strong wolf off Buck so he could go back on the attack. To his amazement, Rafe saw that the attack on Buck had been the Loups-Noirs’ last gasp. Though carnage filled the forest floor, all the Wentworths would be returning home to celebrate their victory.

  He heard the crack of thunder moments before the hot burning sting hit and everything went black.

  Chapter Six

  “Rafe Graywolf, leader of the Wentworth pack, has been shot. We’ll keep you updated as more news comes in.”

  After she’d spent another fitful night of almost no sleep, Lilith bolted upright in her bed. When her clock radio woke her with this horrible news, at first she thought she was having a nightmare. Rafe shot? Not possible. She shook her head in an effort to clear the cobwebs and wake up fully. Then her phone rang. Hand trembling, even before she picked up, she knew she was about to hear the unbearable. Shot didn’t mean dead, right? Maybe his injury was minor, exaggerated by the news…

  She had to pick up the phone and face whatever.

  “We just found out about Rafe’s injury.” Dominique’s voice came over the wire. At least she’d said injury, not, goddess forbid, death. Lilith shuddered.

  “I just heard too.” To her amazement, her voice was steady, unlike her nerves.

  “I’m so sorry. What can I do to help?”

  Just like her friend, to come up with a practical response when the world was falling apart. “I need to know everything.” Her voice wobbled with the realization of what everything might mean. Maybe she didn’t really want to know after all—

  “I already called the pack’s information line and checked their website. They’re not giving out much information.”

  That didn’t bode well. “I need to find out where he is. Words aren’t going to do it for me. I need to go to where he is, see for myself, touch him, feel him breathe.”

  “Yeah, I know.” Dominique fell silent. “Funny, I just tried a new spell on my computer a day or so again. You describe a being, the computer tells you where he is. I’ve got it geared up right now—”

  Lilith appreciated the prompt offer. “Thank you. That would be—” Now the tears came. She might as well get them over with before she saw Rafe. She didn’t want to weep all over him. Salty tears might aggravate his wound…

  “As soon as I find out where he is, I’ll call y
ou back. Meanwhile shower, eat some breakfast, drink coffee and get yourself beautiful. I’m sure seeing you will be just what Rafe needs.”

  Eat breakfast? Right now, that seemed almost as impossible as the directive to get beautiful. On the other hand, she owed it to Rafe to present her best self to him—even if all she’d get to do was say good-bye.

  ***

  Rafe couldn’t believe he’d been shot. From what the men had told him, the impact of the bullet forced him to go through his transformation in record time. As soon as the others realized what had happened, they’d taken out the gunman. One of the Loups-Noirs had retained his male form, adding human firepower to the arsenal of lupine fighting skills. This was a grievous violation of the shifter code. When the Council of Shifter Packs gathered for their annual meeting, the Wentworths would add their accusations to the growing list from other packs. The Loups-Noirs would face shifter justice. The prospect of that pack’s future punishment didn’t stop him from wanting to tear the bastard shooter’s throat out.

  Aargh. Right now he couldn’t tear off a hangnail. He hated feeling this powerless, but he’d been lucky. The bullet lodged in his upper arm, not his head or heart or any vital organ.

  Even more important, getting shot was like a swift, painful wake-up call. The bullet reminded him that life was finite—and he needed to figure out exactly what mattered most to him before he wasted any more time. Lilith. Being pack alpha. Though he hadn’t wanted to be pack alpha, now that he’d led his people through a crisis, he knew this was the place for him. Lilith was his soul mate, but would the pack ever accept her? His head pounded worse from the need to choose than from his wound.

  He’d led his men into battle and ultimate victory, even taken a bullet. They’d stopped the Loups-Noirs—it looked like permanently. With no immediate threat to his pack and some glory, he had breathing space. Now even the Treglios were mewling that they wanted to be back in the Wentworths’ good graces. Smart move.

  He didn’t have to stay on as alpha. Buck had been primed to be alpha and would be ready in a heartbeat to take over if Rafe stepped aside. Though he hadn’t been the man to lead during an emergency, Buck had lots of ability as an administrator and he’d shown himself to be a heroic fighter. With him in charge and their situation stabilized, the pack would be in excellent hands for the foreseeable future. Since he already had his life mate, Buck and the pack wouldn’t have to face that hurdle.

  Rafe hated like hell to give up, but he had to face reality. He couldn’t have Lilith and be alpha. He toyed with the idea of asking her to wait for him. A year or two. Or ten. Right. That would be a great thing to do to the woman he loved. Loved. He loved her and that meant he wanted her to be happy—even if that meant she’d be with another man. He gritted his teeth at the prospect, but he could no more ask her to wait than he could stop being a wolf.

  Just then, Lilith and Dominique burst into his hospital room.

  Breathe, Lilith reminded herself. Breathe. He was alive, but so pale her heart lurched when she looked at him. Despite his loss of so much blood, he looked more gorgeous than ever. Lilith wanted to grab him and hug him breathless, but right now he was weak and she had to be careful not to hurt him. His unaccustomed vulnerability both scared her and made him more precious to her. “Are you all right?” she asked as she ran over to the bed. The huge bandage on his arm blocked her access.

  “Lilith.” He looked from her to Dominique. “So what, you’re here to do the damned intake interview?”

  Though she could appreciate that he felt good enough to joke, this particular one twisted her guts and heart like a knife thrust.

  Dominique’s eyes flashed with indignation. “When we heard the news, we panicked. I offered to bring Lilith up so she could see for herself you’re all right.”

  “How’d you find out where I am? This location was blanketed by top secret security.”

  Lilith paced. She couldn’t believe he was wasting time talking about routine security matters when he’d almost died. Didn’t he feel it, too? Or had the taste of battle cemented his commitment to being the perfect alpha? “Some witchcraft she has up her sleeve,” she muttered.

  Dominique glared at her. Lilith, who usually tried to respect her friend’s discretion about her witchcraft, was making a hash of things by flapping her big mouth, but she didn’t care. The way things were going, Lilith would probably manage to alienate both her lover and her best friend before she left this room.

  He raised a brow. “I’m impressed, Dominique. I’m also relieved to realize it took extraordinary means. We didn’t figure on shielding our online presence against witchcraft, which shows me a weakness in our thinking. Thank you. Speaking of weakness, I’m tired of lying around in this bed. I’m getting up.”

  Lilith held her hands out to him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Rafe.” She put one hand on his uninjured arm and the other on the forearm not too far from where he’d been shot. A wince crossed his face. Rafe’s pain ratcheted through her and nearly brought her to her knees. Powerful empathy, a quality she got from her mother, surged through Lilith, making her one with Rafe. She remembered hearing that love multiplied the power of the empathy— She’d think about that later. Right now, she had a stubborn, vulnerable man to deal with. How could he think of getting out of bed when he felt this awful? Him and his macho stuff…

  Rafe shook her hands off as he lurched to his feet. He wobbled for a moment before he stood, solid and strong. Lilith saw he’d replaced the traditional hospital gown with low-slung pajama bottoms that rode his hips where she wished her hands could be. “If you’ll excuse me for just a minute, I’ll get dressed. Then you two can help me blow this joint.”

  “Rafe,” Lilith protested. “You shouldn’t even be out of bed, let alone coercing us to get you out of here.” She looked to Dominique for support, but her friend just shook her head.

  Walking on less-than-steady legs, Rafe made his way to the small closet where he had his clothes. He reached for the hangers, gasped, stepped back and sat on the bed. “Would one of you ladies be kind enough to hand me my stuff?”

  Lilith wanted to order him to get into the bed, but she realized she might as well save her breath. Without a word, she handed him his jeans, T-shirt and leather jacket.

  He grinned and she knew she couldn’t deny him anything—even the insanity of leaving the hospital in his condition.

  When he was in the bathroom and they could hear water running—she hoped to the goddess he wasn’t getting his bandages wet—Lilith apologized to Dominique for her slip of tongue.

  Dominique waved away the apology. “It’s all right. I know where your head is and where it isn’t. Lilith, my dear friend, you don’t sense it this time, do you?”

  “Sense what?”

  “The way Rafe feels about you. It’s kind of ironic, how you know what everyone else is feeling, all the time. But now, when it really counts, your power fails you.”

  Lilith figured Dominique would say or do anything to make her feel better and discounted her hopeful words.

  Far faster than she expected, he came out of the bathroom. “I couldn’t get the T-shirt over the damn bandage,” he grumped. He’d gotten the jeans on and had the leather jacket slung over his shoulders. She wanted to throw him down on the bed and straddle him. Judging from the bulge in his jeans and the look on his face, it wouldn’t take much to persuade him.

  “My shoes,” he said. “On the floor of the closet.” He looked deep in her eyes. His gaze turned from smoldering to wistful—and any appeal to sanity she could summon up crumbled. “Could you help me get them on?”

  “Of course.” She got the leather loafers out. No socks.

  He perched at the edge of the bed. She hunkered down and took one of his feet in hand. The man had the sexiest feet and she’d love it if he’d use his toes to… She cleared her throat and forced herself to stop playing with his feet and her fantasies. He was in a rush to move on, probably to take up more of his alpha dutie
s. After all, the pack’s alpha couldn’t take more than one day off, even after being shot.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to leave like this, without the doctor’s okay.” Dominique’s voice sounded firm, authoritative.

  “I take full responsibility,” Rafe said. No surprises there. Lilith figured Full Responsibility was his middle name. “I have a lot to do.”

  “You were joking about that intake interview, right?” Dominique asked.

  “No. I can answer your questions as you drive me back.” Rafe had evidently regained power in his legs, for he strode out of the hospital room with both women following in his wake.

  Despite Dominique’s words, all Lilith sensed from Rafe was a determination to go forward with his life. She swallowed hard and willed herself not to cry. She knew getting shot had convinced him to make a life or death decision—what if he’d decided his future wouldn’t include her?

  ***

  If Dominique hadn’t been in the room with them, he’d have made love with Lilith right there. Not that he’d ever objected to voyeuristic sex before, but everything changed when it was him and his mate. What he and Lilith had together was too rare and compelling to be treated with anything but the utmost respect and care. So, no witnesses to their erotic intimacy. Whatever happened between them would play out exactly that way—for the two of them only. He’d fight to the death any man who tried to interfere with them or intrude on their bond.

  He clenched his fists and growled at the mere thought of someone attempting to disrupt the sacred connection between them. Despite all he’d heard of pack lore about how a man felt about his mate, he’d never completely believed this phenomenon existed. Until Lilith. She made a believer out of him as she opened up a whole new universe he was ecstatic to have discovered with her.