by Susan Vance
* * *
Howard spent most of that evening explaining to Emma that the man she had been seeing was most likely the same man she had seen as a child. She had conjured him up in her mind. He explained that he was probably the man from her nightmares as well. For whatever reason, she was now seeing him again. He wasn’t real and it was her imagination that was causing her to see him everywhere.
“Emma,” he had said, “when you see him, sometimes you see his face in someone else. He is very real to you and I know you are frightened. Do you remember when you were younger sometimes you thought you saw him, but it always turned out to either be someone else like what you’re doing with Mr. Elliot or you simply conjured him up in your mind.” He had no answers for her as to why this was happening now. Especially now when she was so happy.
The man convicted of murdering her family had been arrested just weeks after the murders and was serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole. There was one thing for certain and that was, there was at least one monster that came into the Taylor home that night and murdered that family. He was behind bars and could not hurt his daughter. Howard told Emma how she had accused the bookstore owner across the street of stalking her and how she had fainted a few times over this. Emma argued that even though she might have mistaken the man across the street for being the same man she has been seeing around town there really was someone following her. She was sure of it.
“Dad, I don’t remember yelling at my neighbor across the street. I don’t know why I would do that. I’ve known Mr. Elliot for years. I know what he looks like, it wasn’t him. That wasn’t Mr. Elliot I went out to see. It was the other man. I remember going across the street, but I don’t remember anything after that. Are you telling me that I mistook Mr. Elliot for someone else? Oh my God, I’m so sorry about that. He must think I’m insane. I do remember seeing the man at my shop and at the restaurant and I did see him across the street a few times. Honest, Dad, I saw him. I know I made a mistake with Mr. Elliot, but this other man is real, I swear.” Or is he? she wondered.
Chapter Twelve
Emma’s first session with Dr. Williams began at ten o’ clock that morning. It went about as well as Dr. Williams had anticipated. He later explained to Marilyn that he wasn’t happy about Howard telling Emma anything. Marilyn told him it was probably wise not to mention that to Howard. Dr. Williams told her that he wasn’t expecting Emma to open up to him on the first visit and she didn’t let him down. They had, in the past, had their differences and Emma thought it was probably in her best interest to see another therapist, but Marilyn felt otherwise and only because her mother felt this way, Emma had agreed to try it one more time. She gave Dr. Williams permission to speak with the family and fill them in on her session. Emma didn’t talk about what had happened because she simply didn’t remember. Dr. Williams thought that perhaps he would try hypnosis at a later date, but not within the first few sessions. Emma agreed to come back, but only for one more session. Dr. Williams agreed to take one visit at a time with Emma.
As Emma was leaving the doctor’s office she thought she saw the man again. This time he was in the park across the street from the clinic. He was watching her and she looked in his direction. She wasn’t sure because of the distance, but it really did look like him. She decided not to mention it to anyone. If they were going to say she was imagining it or that she was unjustly going around accusing every man she saw of stalking her then she would just pretend he didn’t exist. At this point she wasn’t sure anyway.
Marie was already at the flower shop when Emma got there. She’d opened up the shop and was taking care of the customers, one at a time. Emma was thankful that she had such competent help and she felt she could trust both Marie and Becky.
“Marie, I want to thank you for your kindness. I appreciate you coming in early this morning and opening up the shop. I know a lot has happened, but I’m feeling better now and things are going to be back to normal. There’s one more thing. I want you to keep the back door locked at all times unless Sam is making a delivery. Under no exceptions are we to have the door unlocked. You can never be too careful as these are difficult times we are living in. Please remind Becky about keeping the door locked as well, will you? Where is she?”
“She’s out making the Antonio’s delivery. She took carnations today. Is that okay?”
Emma thought about Antonio’s and how she was lucky to get their account. They are open every day and they want fresh flowers on every table.
“Sure, carnations are good. I have some work to do so I’ll be in my office for a while. If things get wild out front just holler and I’ll come up and help. Are there any messages?”
“There are a bunch of messages, all from Jason. When are you going to call him back? He’s called twice this morning already and he called quite a few times yesterday.”
Emma didn’t answer her. She would call Jason when she was ready. So much had happened and if she was going to start a relationship then she knew she needed to be honest with him. Should she tell him she sees men that aren’t really there? That she attacks her neighbors and accuses them of stalking her? That she passes out at the drop of a hat? How beautiful would she look to him then, she wondered. This lay very heavy on her heart. She wanted to be that beautiful woman he said he saw in her. Not the crazy wacko woman that she had become. Emma spent the rest of the morning in her office. Marie knocked on her door around noon with a tray of fruit and a jar of peanut butter.
“Come on, just try it. Apples and peanut butter are wonderful together. Just try it,” she said sounding very motherly.
Emma smiled and took the tray from her hands. She thanked her and asked her to shut the door on her way out. Later, there was another knock on her door. This time it was Becky.
“Hi, Emma, I’m back. Do you want me to put the trimmings in the hopper now? I understand about locking the back door. Don’t give it another thought. I’ll keep it locked except for Sam and when I take the bike out for a delivery. Maybe I better have the key though, okay?”
Emma liked Becky very much. She was happy to see her, but she just didn’t feel like spending much time with anyone today. She was tired. She felt like she had no energy. Her neck hurt and she had a dull headache.
“Do what you think is best, Becky. Sure, get the extra key out of the register, but try to remember to put it back before you leave at the end of the day. Marie will need it in the morning. I’ll get another key made so we don’t run into any problems. I have one on my key chain, too,” she said, turning to go back to her desk. She paused for a moment then looked back at Becky.
“I think I’ll go home. I’m not feeling well. I’m just tired, so don’t be calling anyone, okay?” she said sounding irritable.
Becky looked hurt. Taking this out on Becky was not what Emma wanted. She was just so tired. She felt badly snapping at her. Becky was just a kid. Emma tried to explain why she didn’t want Becky to call her mom, but her thoughts were scattered. Marilyn had asked both Marie and Becky to keep an eye on her and instructed them to call her if they noticed anything odd.
“I think I just need some rest, but there’s nothing to worry about, really. I’ll be back before Marie leaves unless she’ll stay until closing. Will you ask her and come back and let me know? I just need some rest. I just need some rest,” she sighed.
Becky was back in less than a minute.
“Marie said she will close with me so you can go home and relax. Don’t worry, we work for you. Just feel better, okay?” she said with arms stretched out.
“Thanks, Becky, you’re the best. I do trust you and thanks for being my friend. I’m sorry I got irritated so quickly. My mom means well, but she worries too much. I know she asked you both to look out for me, but I’m okay. You can see that, right? I’m okay?”
* * *
Emma drove straight home. As she turned the corner to her street she saw him again. This time he was in a car and he was driving behind her. She could
see him in the rear view mirror.
“Okay, okay so I don’t really see him. He’s a figment of my imagination. He doesn’t really exist except for in my own mind,” she said out loud as she continued onward. She thought for a minute and wondered if she slammed on her brakes would the figment of her imagination plow into her? For some reason this made her laugh. When she looked again in her mirror he was gone. She turned into the parking lot of her apartment just as her cell phone rang. She looked down at her phone to see who was calling. Her heart sank as she saw it was Jason. She wasn’t sure what to say. She felt so helpless, but she missed him so much. She wanted the very best for him, but she feared her problems would only cause him pain. Her desires for Jason were too strong. She needed him in her life. If she just pretended none of this existed she could move forward with this man that she had come to love. She could have a life. A good life and she wanted Jason to be a part of it. She had to be strong and not give in to what her mind was telling her. She would listen to her heart.
“Hi, Jason, how are you?” she said eager to hear his voice.
“Are you okay? I’ve been leaving messages for two days. I was worried something was wrong. Didn’t you get my messages?”
Emma thought she heard a tone to his voice that was different. Did he sound irritated? Mad? Something in her snapped as she listen to him go on and on about how he had tried to reach her. Between her mother and the family and now Jason wanted to control her life, too. Her head was spinning. Now, lost in her thoughts, she had forgotten all that she felt with her heart. She felt alone for a moment. Frightened once again, and she didn’t understand why. She was falling for this guy so why did she feel backed in a corner?
“I’m fine,” she snapped. “Do I need to check in with you? I’ve been very busy. Labor Day was hectic. What day is it anyway? Tuesday?” she asked, sounding not sure at all.
“No, Emma. It’s Wednesday. We were supposed to have had dinner last night, but you never called me back. Of course you don’t have to check in with me. I’m sorry. I was just concerned. I thought I would have heard from you by now, that’s all,” he said apologetically.
Feeling badly for her sharp tone and not understanding why she spoke to him like that, she started to cry. She felt as if she was falling apart. She wanted to shout out at someone, but not Jason. Never Jason, but here she was feeling this way. What was becoming of her life, she wondered.
“Jason, forgive me. Please, I have had so much going on, plus I’m not feeling well right now. I’m sorry for snapping at you. I should have called you back. That wasn’t fair of me. This just isn’t like me.”
“It’s okay. I know this isn’t like you. You must be frazzled from the holiday orders. I’m in my car and I’m less than a block away from the flower shop. Do you mind if I come over to see you? I have something I have been dying to show you.”
“I’m already in the parking lot of my apartment building. I came home early to rest. It really has been hectic at work.”
“Cool. I’m on my way. I could use a nap myself,” he teased. “I just passed your shop and I’m on my way.”
Emma was taken aback. She did want to see him, but not right now when she was so tired, but he kept her on the phone until he drove up to her building. He parked out in front and walked over to the parking lot. Emma was still sitting in her car holding her phone.
Jason hung up his cell phone as he approached her car. “Hey, young lady. May I walk you to your door?” He was smiling and holding something behind his back.
She looked at him and then she thought she heard a little meow. Forgetting her pain she concentrated on the sounds she heard coming from behind him. “What do you have behind your back? I swear I heard a meow. What did you do?” She smiled. Yes, she was in the moment now and it felt wonderful to be standing here with Jason and having him tease her like this.
He pulled out his hand and then Emma saw a very small kitten.
“Oh, my, he’s beautiful. Where did you get him? Can I hold him?”
Emma perked up as she reached out her hands to take the kitten who stole her heart immediately. “Who does he belong to?” she asked almost hoping it was for her.
“She’s mine. I was walking past this pet store today and there was a sign that read, Save a Kitten, in the window. They told me–”
“Oh, Jason, I fell for that same line. That’s how I ended up with Sam. Come on, let’s go up to my apartment. He’s a she?”
Sam wasn’t too pleased to meet the new kitten, but he wasn’t rude. Of course the kitten wanted to play, but Sam wasn’t interested. He ignored her at first then began to sniff around the house where she had been and soon he was following her everywhere. He wasn’t in love, but it appeared he liked her.
“What are you going to name her?”
“I’m not sure, what do you think about flower?” he said almost laughing. It was hard for him not to smile and soon the edges of his mouth began to curl slightly as he tried to act serious about the name.
“You’re kidding, right?” She wasn’t sure if he was being silly or serious.
“Well, you name her for me then, will you?”
“That’s a huge responsibility you have bestowed upon me. Hmm, let me think. There are many flowers that would suit her I think. Her eyes are blue…”
“Blue, just like yours,” he said peering into her eyes.
She giggled. “Okay, her eyes are blue just like mine and she has black and white hair like Sam. Well, her little nose is pink. It’s more rose colored, don’t you think? Oh, how about Rose? No, no, I got it. Rosie. What do you think about naming her Rosie?” she asked quite proud of her aptitude.
Jason looked very impressed with her.
“What a great name. Rosie, thanks, but there is one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Can she live here with you and Sam?”
“What?” she cried.
“Just kidding… Got you, huh?” he said with a silly smirk on his face.
“I wouldn’t mind keeping her, but Sam might not like it too well. He’s very territorial. He probably won’t like the way you smell anymore, either.”
“Looks to me like he likes the way Rosie smells just fine. Look at the way he’s following her around. I think he’s in love.”
Rosie was exploring Emma’s apartment and Sam was right on her heels making sure she didn’t get into any trouble or break something. They sat down on the sofa and Jason took her hand.
“Emma, I know you have been busy, but why haven’t you called me. I’m starting to count on hearing from you every day. It has nothing to do with wanting to keep tabs on you. You know that, right? I just want to be with you and spend time with. You drive me crazy.”
“I drive you crazy, really?”
“Do you want to take our relationship a little further?” he asked, squeezing her hand tighter.
“What do you mean? Are you talking about sex? Is that what you’re talking about?”
“No, well, I’m hoping that we’ll have sex at some point, in fact I think about making love to you, but what I’m saying is, I would like to see just you. I’ve dated other women, but since I’ve met you I haven’t asked anyone out but you. I really just want to be with you. I would like it if you only saw me. I feel like this is something special and I really like you very much. I think about you all the time and every moment with you is special. It makes me want more. I guess what I am saying is that I…”
She leaned over and kissed him. He was touching her heart and this was what she really wanted.
“I’m not seeing anyone else but you so that part would be easy, but I really just want to see only you, anyway. I’m happy that we feel the same way. I’d like to see where this is going, too.”
She kissed him again and he took her in his arms and kissed her like she had never been kissed before. Emma’s heart was beating faster and she could have easily taken their relationship to another level at that very minute. There was nothing in
her heart or mind, but this man. She could feel this longing within her and he was kissing her in a way that was beginning to turn her on. Slowly, Jason retreated and he stood up.
“You are so beautiful,” he said as he bent down and kissed her one more time. “I have this weekend off. I have this little cabin off of highway 17 and I would really like to spend some time with you there. I know your flower shop is open on Saturday so I was thinking that if you could close up early or let Becky and Marie close for you we could be on the road and be there before you know it. I could pick up some supplies and cook that dinner for you. What do you think?”
“I think that would be wonderful,” Emma said quickly. “I really do. I don’t mind having the girls close for me. They’re very responsible and I trust them both very much. Besides, if they can’t either my mom or one of the girls will close for me. I can leave Sam for a few days, but what about Rosie?”
“I’m sure my mom would kitty sit. She would do that for me, no problem. So, are you saying yes?” He bent down and kissed her again.
“Yes,” she said, grinning. “I’m saying, yes. I would love to do that with you. I’ll leave the shop around noon so you can pick me up here any time after that, okay?” She stood up and kissed him. She loved kissing him. It was obvious he liked kissing her, too. “Have you had lunch yet? I’m hungry. Marie brought me some fruit and peanut butter, but I wasn’t hungry then. Do you have time to get something to eat with me or do you have to get back to the station?” She felt like a brand new person.
“I’m done for the day. How about if we have our usual, Chinese? What about if we call and I go pick it up. You can rest on the sofa until I get back. I sure hope you aren’t coming down with something, young lady. We have a big weekend ahead. Why are you home anyway?”
“Oh, it’s no biggie. I didn’t sleep well last night and I was tired. I’m fine now that you’re here.”