by Susan Vance
Emma agreed to take out rather than going out. She called the restaurant and ordered their lunch. Jason gave her a kiss and went downstairs to his car. Emma walked over to the window and raised her hand to wave. She looked across the street and scanned the area for the stranger. She went over to the sofa and laid her head on the throw pillow. Sam jumped up by her feet and Rosie clawed her way up the sofa to lay by Emma’s face. She drifted off to sleep. When Jason returned with lunch they ate it on the floor while they played with Rosie. Even Sam attempted to play, but only with Emma. After they ate they went down to the park and walked. Jason kissed her every chance he got and several times it was Emma that stopped their stroll to get a kiss. They walked arm in arm and Emma was in heaven. She wouldn’t let herself think this was too good to be true. It was real and she never wanted it to end. She pictured them growing old together and taking a cruise like her parents had planned to do. She wondered how many children they would have and if they would always live in Clayton County. She wondered if Jason saw their lives together beyond where they were right now. Did his mother really like her and would she meet his family one day.
“I don’t want this afternoon to end,” she purred. “I like being here with you. You have no idea how I feel.”
“No, but I hope you feel the same way I do,” he said kissing her again and holding her tightly.
Chapter Thirteen
“This message is for Emma Taylor. This is Sharon at Dr. Williams’ office. It’s Friday and we are calling to re-schedule your missed appointment for this morning. Dr. Williams would like to either see you this afternoon or he will be at the clinic Saturday morning. Please call when you get this message so we can get you back on the schedule.”
Emma erased the message and called the doctor’s office.
“Hi, this is Emma Taylor. I’m sorry I missed my appointment this morning. I just came home for lunch and heard your message,” she explained to the receptionist.
“Ms. Taylor, Dr. Williams would like to see you this afternoon. Would two-thirty be good for you?”
Emma didn’t want to see the doctor today. In fact she didn’t want to see him at all, but she reconsidered, thinking she probably should see him at least once more so she agreed to come that afternoon.
Emma arrived at the clinic at two-fifteen. There were people sitting in the large waiting room and as she looked around she saw a woman sitting alone off to the side of the room and she was crying. Emma’s heart went out to her. She knew how painful all of this could be. How draining and frightening. She wanted to reach out to this woman and wrap her arms around her, to embrace her, but what could she really do? She didn’t know, but she felt compelled to try. She walked to the desk, signed in, then sat down next to the woman.
“I know this gets hard. I’ve had some pretty bad days myself.”
The woman looked at Emma. “Thank you. It’s my son. He’s having some problems and I don’t know what to do to help him,” she said with tears streaming down her face.
“I’m so sorry,” Emma said in a comforting tone. “All you can do is love him. In the end, he has to do the work himself. I know, because, well, I have some problems and it gets the best of me sometimes. How old is your son?”
“He’s only fifteen. His father died a slow death of cancer and he just won’t or maybe he can’t accept it. I miss my husband more than I can say, but my life didn’t end the day he died. I have my children and they need me to keep us together. Shawn just won’t open up and he blames me, somehow,” the woman told her. She blotted her eyes and patted Emma’s hand. “I’m sorry to have bothered you with any of this.”
“Are you serious? I sat down next to you and started this conversation. No, I just felt you needed a friend. I’m Emma,” she said sweetly.
“My name’s, Kathy. It’s nice to meet you, Emma.”
The receptionist called out Emma’s name. Emma turned to the woman and wished her well. She wanted to give her a hug, but she didn’t.
The receptionist took Emma through the door and walked her into the doctor’s office.
“Dr. Williams will be right in. Have a seat and I’ll let him know you’re here.”
Emma waited several minutes for the doctor. His nurse came in and then went back out without saying one thing to her. Finally Dr. Williams came in. He wasn’t much for small talk so Emma knew he would be getting right to it.
“Emma, are you still seeing the man?”
“No Doctor, it’s been weeks now,” she lied.
Dr. Williams, seeming suspicious asked her again in another way. Emma confessed and explained that she finally decided to go along with everyone else and agree he was just her imagination. She figured he would probably pull it out of her anyway.
“I know he isn’t really there, but it just seems so real. I haven’t gone off on my neighbor lately and in fact I went over to apologize yesterday. I know terrible things happened when I was small. I know my whole family was murdered, but I don’t remember and I don’t want to. Why would anyone want me to remember such a horrific night as that? This needs to be my last appointment with you Dr. Williams. I really don’t want to delve into my past. That isn’t fair. I’m happy now. I want to stay that way, too. I’ve met someone and I don’t want to spoil it. I’m getting on with my life.”
“Emma, you need–”
“Dr. Williams, I’m serious and frankly it isn’t any of your business. You tried to help me when I was younger and I appreciate that, but I don’t want you in my life now. Please, I only came here today to tell you how I feel. I’m not crazy and I just want to be normal. I’m not coming back here again.”
Emma stood up and walked out the door and out of the building. As she was getting into her car she saw her imaginary man again across the street in the park. Don’t look. She closed her eyes and prayed that when she opened them again he wouldn’t be there. She opened her eyes and looked again. He was there all right and he was smiling at her. He reached up with his hand and touched his lips with his fingers and sent a kiss her way. “Oh, God, help me,” she cried. Help me please. Don’t let this get the best of me. Don’t let him win. She closed the door and locked it. She looked over towards the park again and this time there was no one there. What is wrong with me? Why do I keep thinking I’m seeing him? He looks so real. How can he be a delusion when he looks so real? Emma tried to count the times she had seen him, but it was beginning to get all mixed up in her head. She started her car and drove back to the flower shop. She was still shaking when she walked in the door.
This was Becky’s last week working full time and Emma was going to miss having her around all day. Marie would be there and Emma liked her very much, but Becky was a jewel. She was young and so full of it. She made Emma smile all day long with the things she would say and do.
Emma and Jason were having dinner that night and then the next day they were going away for their weekend in the mountains. She was excited. Emma knew this meant they would make love and it didn’t frighten her. She wondered what it would be like. She was nervous, but not afraid. Later at dinner they talked about the trip and Emma watched him carefully. He didn’t seem over confident about their trip. She was glad. He almost seemed a little nervous.
“Jason, tomorrow when we go to your cabin we will have some special times. I just want you to know that I’m a little nervous.”
“You’re wonderful and tomorrow will be perfect. When I said I dated a lot I didn’t mean that I slept with every girl in town. I can hardly wait to hold you in my arms. We can take it slowly. We don’t need to be in any hurry. I just want to be with you and sit by the fire and go for long walks with you. We’ll just play it by ear. All I care about is being with you. We don’t have to make love this weekend. I’m willing to wait until you feel right about it,” he said as he reached across the table and took her hand in his. “It’s been a while for me too.”
“I don’t want to wait. Honestly, I could be with you tonight. I’m just letting you know that I’m very nervous. I do
n’t know what to do. This will be my first time and I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“You could never disappoint me. Don’t you know that? Don’t worry about this, please. You’ll be surprised how natural it will be.”
“I would like it to be perfect. I want to be able to remember this special time with you. I know that experience is overrated, but, well—I don’t know what I mean,” she sighed.
“We could always go to my house and practice if you like,” he said smiling.
Jason was kidding, but Emma stood up and beckoned him to stand. “Then let’s go,” she said.
“What? Really?” he asked almost choking on his egg roll. “Emma, I was just trying to make you laugh.”
“I know, but I don’t want to wait until tomorrow, but…”
Without letting her finish what she was saying, Jason quickly stood up, paid the bill and drove her to his house.
Rosie greeted them at the door. Emma scooped her up and kissed her little rosy pink nose.
“Do you have condoms?” she asked uncomfortably.
“Yes,” he said reaching for her. “I want to show you my room.”
She went willingly. She felt the excitement welling up inside her. He held her hand tightly as they walked to his bedroom. She had thought it would be very masculine, but instead it looked more like a tropical island. His bedspread had tropical palm trees and accents of dark green. The bed was king size and Emma felt this surge of excitement just looking at it. Off in a corner was a beautiful silk palm tree and next to it was a huge giraffe that looked over five feet tall. It was magnificent. She wondered if it was carved from wood. On one wall was a sliding glass door that led out to a balcony that over-looked another garden. On the other wall was a fireplace. The weather wasn’t cool enough for a fire, but Jason opened the sliding glass door and quickly the room became much cooler. He lit the fire and reached for Emma’s hand. He led her out the door and onto a balcony. There was a light-switch that when turned on would light the garden below just like the balcony off his living room.
“I know it’s a little chilly out here, but I wanted to show you this. I also want you to know that no other woman has been in my bedroom except my mother.” He laughed. “She helped me decorate the house, but my bedroom was the one room I wanted to do myself. Do you like it?” he asked as he took her back into his bedroom and shut the sliding glass door.
“It’s wonderful. I love your giraffe.”
She looked at him and then removed her sweater. She was shivering, but she wasn’t cold. She removed her shoes and put them near the chair where she had laid her sweater. Jason walked over and turned off the lights. The fire sparkled and cast shadows on the walls. He put on some very romantic music and he lit several candles. Jason went to his closet and brought out a small box that held the condoms. He set the package on the night side table, then he turned to Emma who was watching his every move. He walked towards her and she met him halfway. He took her in his arms and kissed her tenderly. With his hands, he began to caress her tender aching body. His kisses were more passionate now and Emma was responding with more passion than she knew she had. She wasn’t sure what to do next, but it did seem natural, just as Jason had told her. Her heart was pounding. She felt her body aching for him, anticipating his every touch. She trembled as she kissed him back. Jason pulled her closer and closer until she felt as if he would just consume her body with his. Emma managed to step back just enough to look him in the eyes.
He was the first to speak. “Emma, are you sure this is what you want? We can wait, you know. I want you to be sure.”
“I’ve never been more positive of anything,” she said just above a whisper. She closed her eyes and sighed. He slid his shirt off, then he undressed her until she stood naked before him.
“I love your body. It’s so soft and your skin is so smooth. I want to kiss every inch of you. My God, Emma, I want you.”
He touched her softly and she melted in his arms. Her body was trembling, aching for more. They walked, entwined, to the bed.
Chapter Fourteen
Emma was thinking about Jason as she went over some invoices that needed her attention. She felt a shiver go over her body as she thought about the night before. She was just about ready to leave and go home so she could change and get ready for the weekend. She was excited and now she wasn’t nervous at all. She was happy she decided to be with Jason. She finished up and told the girls she would see them on Monday. She wished Becky a happy first day back at school and she headed out the door. She saw her neighbor, Mr. Elliot across the street and said good morning to him. She waved and smiled, but he didn’t look too impressed. She noticed how he really didn’t look anything like the stranger. She wondered why she had attacked him. She had no memory of it, but to hear him tell it, she was a crazed woman. She was so embarrassed to see him, but held her head high and hoped that one day he would accept her apology.
Emma thought she saw the man again on the road driving home, but she only caught a glimpse of him. She wondered if perhaps she might be slightly schizophrenic. Can someone be slightly schizophrenic? If it weren’t for seeing that lunatic everywhere I go I would be as normal as, well who is normal anyway? Maybe if I don’t make eye contact with him he will go away. Maybe I should tell Jason about this. If we get serious, oh God, I hope we’re already serious. Yes, we are very serious. Maybe he has a right to know what he is getting himself in to. I know I’m not crazy. I can’t be crazy, but what if I am? She sighed.
Emma pulled into the parking lot and parked her car. She walked upstairs and changed her clothes. She wasn’t sure exactly what time Jason was coming, but she was ready. She tied her hair up and grabbed an extra sweatshirt. Just then there was a knock at the door. She looked through the peephole and then flung open the door and threw herself into Jason’s arms.
“Happy to see me?” he said kissing her.
“Happy would be an understatement,” she said kissing him back.
“I’m all ready. Let’s go,” she said grabbing her bag and patting Sam on the head.
Jason took her bag and Emma locked her door. They walked down to the car and he put her bag in the trunk which was full of food.
“Wow, what are you cooking for us?” she asked.
“You’ll have to wait and see. We may not have much time to eat, but I brought some food just in case,” he said kissing her and helping her get into the car. Jason got in and they were off.
The drive was nice at first, but the road became winding and it twisted and turned a little too much for Emma. She tried to look out the window, then straight ahead, but the turning was just too much. She began to feel queasy. Just when Emma thought she couldn’t take the ride a minute longer they arrived at the cabin. Just getting out of the car made her feel so much better. Stepping onto solid ground was what she needed. Emma typically had no problems with mountain roads, but she was excited and perhaps this contributed to her upset stomach.
“Are you okay?” Jason asked.
Emma’s face was a little pale. “I’m feeling better just being out of the car. Usually I can handle it. I’m fine now. Besides, I’m dying to see the inside. Come on.”
The older A-frame cabin was small, but well kept. The front yard was a little overgrown, but it was clean and green. On the inside the living room and kitchen blended into one area and there was a tiny bathroom downstairs. The fireplace was enormous. Jason took their bags upstairs and Emma followed him. He stopped just inside the small bedroom and Emma bumped into him.
He turned around with that grin she had come to love. “Looking for something?” he said raising an eyebrow that made her smile. He sat the bags down and put his arms around her. He pulled her close and kissed her. He looked over at the bed and she smiled at him with eyes that said, “Take me.”
* * *
They came downstairs several hours later wearing only robes. Jason went outside to get firewood and Emma helped him bring in the groceries.
“Good thi
ng it’s cold up here,” Emma said, “or our dinner would have spoiled out here while we were busy upstairs making love.”
“I can live off your love,” he said swatting her butt.
Emma wondered why he used the word love. They hadn’t talked about it before. Emma was certainly in love with him. She loved him and she hoped he was falling madly in love with her. He just had to be, she hoped.
“Did you bring a bathing suit?” he asked smiling.
“No, was I supposed to?”
“No,” he said laughing as he grabbed for her, removing her robe. Emma was comfortable having him see her naked. He took her out to the back and pointed to the hot tub. He led her up the steps and let her get in first. “Yikes,” she cried. “It’s too hot.” She wasn’t sure she could sit in such hot water.
Jason climbed in and sat down. It was a little too hot, but he made it seem as if it were perfect. He pulled her down onto his lap and she let out a gasp.
“Jason,” she moaned.
Jason kissed her and began to touch her through the water. His hands were all over her and she relaxed on his lap.
“Is the water still too hot?” he asked when they were done making love.
“Huh? What water?” Emma said feeling wobbly all over. She froze for a moment as she thought about the condoms. They had been very careful at his house, but in all the excitement neither thought about protection here at the cabin. Just as Emma was going to bring it up Jason jumped out of the tub, grabbing a towel. He promised to be right back. He went in to the cabin and lit the fireplace. He returned minutes later and re-joined her in the steamy water. He kissed her and brought her close to him. He held her tightly then kissed her again. Emma pulled away from his grasp.
“Emma, what is it? What’s the matter?”
“We didn’t use a condom when we were upstairs and we sure didn’t use one now.” She was crying, clearly upset.