Shy

by Sinden West

  I was just about to check with her that she was cool with me leaving, when she jumped up, grabbing Damien’s arm.

  “Let’s dance!” she yelled above the music. He was on his feet in an instant, jumping at the chance to be pressed against her body on the dance floor.

  I mentally cursed and slumped down in my chair. Then Rick was getting my attention.

  “Hey! Can you watch our stuff? I gotta go talk to someone.” Without waiting for an answer, he was gone, and I was left babysitting Emma’s bag and the guys’ jackets. This sucked.

  I sipped on my beer and watched everyone around me having a good time while I sat alone. Time passed and Damien and Emma were lost somewhere on the crowded dance floor, and who knew where Rick had pissed off too. I could only hope that they would remember me before they decided to leave.

  A guy tripped behind me and spilled half his drink down my top. I hissed in surprise as ice cubes slid down into my top to soak my bra. I jumped up to dislodge them and they fell to the ground.

  “Sorry,” slurred the guy. He looked like he was having trouble standing. Then a crooked grin crossed his face. “I can see your tits. Nice. Small but nice.”

  I made a noise of indignation and alarm as I crossed my arms over my chest. My white top and bra had become see-through, my nipples erect from the ice. The guy just stood there staring at my chest and it made me feel yuck.

  “What’s going on?” Rick had come back. “You know this guy?”

  “I’ve got to get out here,” I muttered, grabbing my bag from the table. I pushed past people, not caring about pissing anyone off as I struggled to get through the crowd. It seemed to take forever to get out the door, and when I did I immediately put my jacket on and drew it tight around my body.

  Why did I have to act so stupid all the time? The drunken idiot only spilled a drink down me and I freaked out like the dork that I am. I leaned my head against the brick of the building and sucked air into my lungs, welcoming the cold which would hopefully cool my heated face.

  Once good thing happened though. A group of people piled out of a cab and I grabbed it to get home, rapidly dashing off a text to Emma as I gave one word answers to the chatty taxi driver. But then the night got shitty again when I saw who was waiting in the hall outside my apartment.

  Nathan was my former step-brother. My mother had divorced his gold digging father shortly before her death. When we had lived together as teenagers, he was mostly an asshole to me, but that hadn’t stopped me having a crush on him at the time. He sat on the worn carpet, leaning his back against the wall and his eyes were closed.

  I contemplated sneaking past him in case he was asleep, but then his eyes opened. They were glazed as usual, obviously that hadn’t changed. A backpack also lay beside him.

  “Hey, sister!”

  He got to his feet somewhat unsteadily.

  “What are you doing here?”

  He gave me a crooked, stoned smile. “What’s with the hostility? I thought you’d be pleased to see me.”

  I got my key out and opened the door. He was right behind me entering even though I didn’t invite him in. He took the liberty of closing the door behind him.

  “What a shit hole.” He looked around at our sparse apartment. “Why don’t you live somewhere better?” Then he looked to where I leaned against the kitchen counter and gave me a wicked grin. “Are you slumming it, rich girl?”

  “Why are you here?” I turned my back to him and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. He came up behind me and placed his hands on my hips. I straightened immediately and went rigid.

  He noticed and removed his hands as I turned back to him. “Relax, okay? I’m just being friendly. I just wanted to see you. It’s been a while.” He was all charm now. He was good at that, just like his father.

  “Why are you really here, Nathan?”

  The charm dropped and his face became serious as he sighed. “Look, Greta. I just need some money.”

  I snorted. What a surprise.

  “Why didn’t you ask your Dad? He got enough from my Mom when they divorced.”

  “We’re…estranged at the moment. I guess you could say that he doesn’t like my lifestyle. Please, Greta?” His eyes were pleading. “I owe a lot of money to people, and I’m really going to be in the shit if I don’t pay up.”

  I stared at him for a moment, before I finally sighed. “How much?”

  “Seven grand.”

  I spluttered on my water. “For drugs? What were you thinking?”

  “I know I was stupid.” He placed his hand on my hip again. “But, please, Greta. You’ve always been the only one who’s ever helped me out. Even when I was a complete prick to you…” He swallowed. “I’m really scared of these guys.”

  This was a Nathan that was rarely seen. Gone was the cocky grin and confident flirting, he looked and sounded vulnerable.

  “I’m only allowed to draw down five grand from the trust without approval.”

  He gave a relieved smile. “That would be a huge help, it’ll buy me time to get the rest. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

  I wrote him out a check which he took with a grin as he folded it and put it in the pocket of his jeans. His arms came around me in a hug, he held me tight to his chest and we stayed like that for a few moments.

  “I really, really appreciate this Greta,” he murmured, then his mouth came down on mine and his hands slid down to my ass as he pushed his groin against me. I froze, and then I pushed him away. He released me easily.

  “What are you doing?”

  “I, you know, just wanted to thank you.”

  “What makes you think that I wanted to be thanked like that?”

  He gave a small laugh. “You had a huge crush on me, remember? I thought you’d enjoy it.” His smile faded and a serious look was on his face. “We could have fun, Greta. I’d make it good for you. I know you don’t have a lot of experience with guys so I thought it could be a thank you for the money.”

  I took a step back, red flooding my face. “So it would be like I was paying you to have sex with me?” My voice was shaky and high pitched.

  “No. Not really.” He sighed. “Maybe I should go, I’ve pissed you off. Thanks again, Greta. I’ll pay you back, promise.” He waited a few moments, but I couldn’t even look at him. “Take care.” I didn’t move until he had shut the door behind him. Then I ran a hot shower and hugged myself as the water rained down on me.

  Nathan and I were both fifteen when he and his Dad moved in. I thought he was the best looking boy that I had ever met. He was also rebellious and gave his Dad a hard time. Because of that I thought he was cool, unlike meek little me who jumped at her mother’s every command. He didn’t think much of me from the start. When we were introduced, I squeaked out a hello, and he cast his eyes down my body with a sneer.

  “Where’s my fucking room,” he said in response, turning to his Dad, who scowled at him but then plastered a fake smile on his face and gave a small laugh. He wasn’t going to let his son’s attitude ruin what he knew was a good thing. Nathan didn’t go to my private school, he attended the rougher, public high school where kids openly smoked and carried knives to school. When our parents were away, embracing their new romance and spending my mother’s money on extravagant holidays, he would invite these friends around. They’d hang out by the pool and get stoned while I would hide in my room.

  I had hated that I’d developed a crush on Nathan, especially when it was so clear that he would never think of me in the same way. I would hear him talk to his friends about me, and he was always scathing.

  “What’s wrong with that step sister of yours? She practically ran away from me,” one said.

  “I think she’s retarded,” Nathan said, laughing. “She can barely speak two words to me. She’s hot for me, I tell you.” His friends laughed. “Maybe I’ll give her one though, just to be nice. But I’d have to do her from behind, you know, pretend she was someone else.” More laughter
, and I closed my window.

  I pretty much went out of my way to avoid him after that. Not that he was home much anyway. He was always out with his friends, sometimes he was brought home by the police with a defiant scowl upon his face. It was after one of these times that he and his Dad had had a yelling match that had echoed around the house. Nathan stormed off to his room, slamming the door loudly behind him. His Dad had sighed and ran his hand through his hair, and my mother had taken her pills and retreated to her room. She couldn’t deal with conflict, she said. If Nathan’s Dad had expected the woman he’d married for money to be a supportive mother figure, he could think again.

  I decided it was safe to go for a swim since everyone had disappeared within the huge house. In my one piece bathing suit, I went down to the silent swimming pool. I swam length after length with more grace than I could ever show on land. When I finally stopped and gripped onto the edge of the pool, I was given a fright by the sight of Nathan sitting on a chair, smoking a cigarette and staring down at me. How long had he been there?

  “Relax, princess. I don’t want to give you a heart attack or something.” Why did everything he say have to be a sneer?

  “You didn’t.” I headed for the steps which led out of the pool, grabbing my towel and wrapping it around me. I walked to the pool house to get changed, anxious to be away from him. Why did the best looking people have to be so mean all the time?

  I stripped off, rubbing the water off my skin with my towel when the door opened. Nathan had finished his cigarette and stepped inside. I was stunned, and it took me a second to form a coherent thought and wrap the towel around my nakedness. His eyes went down, then up my body and he took a step closer.

  I couldn’t even ask why he was there because my mouth and throat were suddenly paralyzed with nerves.

  “Calm down,” he crooned in a soothing voice, his hand stroked my face and then his lips were pressing against mine. It was weird but nice, and I could suddenly move my mouth again as I timidly kissed back. This was my first kiss! And it was with Nathan. I couldn’t believe that this was real. I got lost in that kiss, not even caring when he pulled the towel free from my grip and it dropped to my feet. I could barely breathe as his hands skimmed down my body to grab my bare ass, giving it a squeeze.

  Then he stopped kissing me and stepped back, my face dropped in disappointment and I suddenly felt as naked as I was. His eyes scanned down my body. “Your ass isn’t bad, but you’ve got no tits.” He shook his head like he had made a decision. “Nah, you couldn’t pay me enough to fuck you. I’m not like my Dad. I don’t take some ugly bitch to bed just ‘cos she’s got money.”

  I stared, stunned, and then he flashed that awful, wicked grin and I was dropping down to desperately pick up the towel and cover myself from his horrible, mocking gaze. But I was standing on the towel and everything I did was too clumsy. It felt like an eternity before I managed to hold it in front of my body like a shield. He was walking away and laughing by then.

  All I was left with were hot tears and humiliation.

  Chapter Three

  Emma didn’t come home until Monday morning. She was still dressed in the clothes she had worn Saturday night when she walked in holding a coffee. “To make up for being a bad friend.” She pushed the steaming coffee into my hands.

  “Thanks, and you weren’t a bad friend.”

  She curled up beside me on the couch. “Yeah, I was. I dragged you along when I knew that you hated that kind of thing, and then I ditched you.”

  I smiled at her. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It matters to me.” Then she closed her eyes and promptly fell asleep. It must have been a hard weekend for her. I covered her with a blanket before grabbing my bag to head for class. As I stepped out into the sunshine, my phone rang.

  My lawyer’s name flashed up on the screen.

  “Hi, David.”

  “Hey, listen. I just got a call from the bank. Did you write out a check for five grand to Nathan O’Connell of all people?”

  I took a breath. “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he needed it.”

  There was silence on the other end before he cleared his throat. “Listen, Greta. I’ve no doubt that he’s just as much of a cheating, lying scumbag as his father. He doesn’t need to be in your life anymore. I have every mind to tell the bank to stop the check.”

  “Don’t do that, David. Please? It was my choice to give him the money, please honor it?”

  Silence again. “He’s taking advantage of your good nature.”

  “Please, David?”

  “You can’t be this naïve,” he muttered. “Look, I’ll let it go through but I want you to meet me for lunch. I’ve some documents I need you to sign anyway. How about Rinaldo’s at twelve?”

  “Okay.”

  I was surprised David had let me win this one. He was the kind of person who would steamroll through anyone to get his own way. I carried on to class, looking forward to meeting him later.

  Rinaldo’s was fancy. I looked out of place with my backpack and jeans, but the waiter was polite all the same as he led me to the table. David was running late, but when he arrived, he looked every part the young successful lawyer in his expensive suit. He was a good looking guy and couldn’t have been a day over thirty. Several women sent him admiring glances as he made his way to my table.

  “Sorry, I’m late. I got stuck in mediation with some dickhead who’s decided he doesn’t want his soon to be ex-wife to have anything.”

  “Did you win?”

  He grinned and winked at me. “I always win. Want a glass of wine?”

  “Sure.” He ordered us a bottle, and even a few sips made me feel more relaxed and freer with my words. I scrawled my signature on the documents he placed in front of me. David was trustee until I turned twenty-five; then the money would be mine to do with as I wished. Not that it would make a huge difference anyway. I wasn’t that extravagant and things weren’t that important to me.

  “So, tell me what the O’Connell boy wanted?” I hated David’s disapproval, and I felt it coming off him in waves.

  “He had drug debts.”

  “And what? He fed you a sob story so you’d feel sorry for him?”

  I stayed silent. How could I explain to him how pathetically grateful I was that Nathan had actually turned up to my Mom’s funeral after she’d killed herself the day that her divorce finalized. Not a lot of other people had bothered. I looked at my wine glass and didn’t know what to say. But that was okay, David knew what I was like.

  “Look, Greta. I don’t mean to give you a hard time. But maybe we should rethink the amount you can draw down without my approval first. I’ve been lenient with you because I know how sensible you are, but my job it to protect your assets. I don’t mean to offend you, but you’re so sweet. People are bound to think that you’re an easy target.”

  He was right. I’d always been an easy target. For the girls at school, my mother…

  People thought I was a joke.

  “Just do what you think best,” I mumbled.

  “Hey,” he reached over the table and took my hand. I looked up at him in surprise. “It’s not you I don’t trust. It’s just there are some really shitty people in this world, like Nathan O’Connell’s father. I don’t want you to become a victim.”

  He released my hand as suddenly as he had taken it.

  “I know,” I told him. We finished our meal and he told me about some of his dumbass clients. He had me laughing and it changed the entire tone of our lunch.

  When I got home in the afternoon, Emma and Damien were making out on the couch.

  “Sorry!” I tried to sneak past.

  “No, we’re sorry,” Damien said as they broke apart. “My roommates got sick of us having our hands all over each other so we thought we’d come and annoy you instead.” He winked at me, and I grinned back. Damien really was nice.

  “Want to come and get some pizza with us? My treat.
I’ve still got a lot of making up to do.” Emma said, her hand resting in Damien’s. “And don’t give me some bullshit excuse about needing to study.”

  I sighed. “Fine.”

  It was good with just Damien and Emma. It was relaxed even as they continued to gaze into each other’s eyes like they were the only ones in the room. It was sweet. But then some of Damien’s friends turned, they were loud and obnoxious and seem to roar with laughter at the stupidest things. That girl, Pamela, was sitting at the far end of the table. She was busy talking to her friends and didn’t appear to notice me at all. I was nervous that if she did notice me again she’d say something cruel, especially when Rick appeared.

  He was drunk, and he shoved one of his friends aside and took the seat next to me so he could talk to Damien. “Dude, you should have seen the chick I just had sucking my dick. Her tits were huge!”

  “Rick, shut up!” Damien signaled with his eyes furiously to where Emma was sitting. He obviously wanted to make a good impression on her.

  Rick laughed. “Sorry, sorry, sorreee. I’ll try to be on my best behavior around your girl now.” He accidentally hit me on the arm with his hand while he was making his drunken apology. “Sorry to you too,” he said to me as he laughed again.

  I caught Pamela’s expression out of the corner of my eye as her gaze focused on Rick. She was still pissed. She got up from her chair and marched to where we sat to stand behind him. All eyes went on her as the table quietened.

  Rick looked around at his friends, slightly mystified, then he clicked. “Let me guess. There’s a blonde, crazy uber bitch standing behind me who is really good at giving head. Shame about her personality though…”

  Damien nodded, another friend openly laughed while others sniggered. This only served to further infuriate Pamela.

  “Fuck you, Rick!” He reluctantly swiveled in his chair to face her, only to be met with a vicious slap to the face. The resounding crack echoed around the restaurant as everyone watched in silence. The easy going drunk Rick of before was gone, his eyes narrowed to match her glare and his lips became a grim line. Everyone watched for what he’d do next. He wouldn’t hit her back, would he?