Camp Forget-Me-Not

by J. K. Rock

  “But can you make her hair look like mine did for the shoot?” Brooke checked her chiming phone again and then tucked it into a little floral bag. “I never really thanked you for how much you helped that day. You know, not just the makeup but like…making it fun.”

  The words sounded like they stuck in her throat a little, but I didn’t care. I had the feeling she hadn’t thanked many people before. It was cool to be on the shortlist.

  “You’re welcome. I can do Nia’s hair as soon as I finish up some CIT stuff inside.” I pointed to the arts and crafts building.

  “Kayla?” Brooke’s hand gripped my arm, and for a second, I flinched, remembering the claws she’d gouged me with. “I should have never called you wallpaper.”

  I smiled, accepted the apology gracefully, but inside I was thinking it was just as well Brooke had been so mean. Seeing myself through her eyes had been one of the reasons I’d wanted to change.

  The bigger reason was long gone. I missed him so much it hurt. I’d lain awake every night since he left thinking about what I could have done differently. What I could have said that night when he’d been upset after the camp baseball game.

  Since Nick wasn’t coming back, I’d never have the chance to say the right things. To let him know how much I cared or how much I wished him well.

  Unless…I wrote him one last note.

  “Okay, what is the fascination with the postcard table?” Brittany huffed and shuffled her feet next to me while I finished a letter to Nick that night. “It’s the End of Summer Bash, Kayla. Not the End of Summer Writing Festival. Not the End of Summer Bore-Me-’TilI’m-Dead Night.”

  I waved my postcard with two fingers, airing it out. “I’m waiting for the paint to dry.”

  I wasn’t an artist, but I’d decorated it. If a girl only had one last chance to express herself to the hottest guy she’d ever known, could it hurt to use a little bling? Plus, drawing flowers around the border helped distract me from the fact that I’d never see him again. My eyes burned every time I thought about it.

  “Newsflash. This is my last night at Camp Juniper Point. Ever.” She held up her phone, a privilege for the party. “I’m taking enough pictures to keep Instagram busy for the next month, and you will be in all of them.”

  I looked at her gorgeous, wide blue eyes and her perfect pout and adored her so much. It didn’t matter that she’d once told me to ditch Nick and now she thought he was hot. We’d all been clueless at one time or another. Like I said to Nick before he left—I was fourteen years old when I’d shredded our friendship so he’d follow his dreams. What the hell had I known?

  I wasn’t going to hold things against my girlfriends for what they’d done in the past. They loved me. They accepted me for me, even when I didn’t go with the flow. Even when I rocked the boat and kept Brittany waiting so I could write a note I didn’t even know where to send.

  “Okay.” I said finally, tucking my postcard into a super-secret spot just around the corner in the darkened kitchen. I dropped it behind an industrial-sized mixer, where I could go back for it later. If nothing else, I could mail it to his home address. “Where to?”

  We spent the next hour posing at every single display at the bash. We played on the pretend ropes course that the Wander Inn guys had made and spotted Seth Reines there. He couldn’t take his eyes off his sortof-secret girlfriend, Trinity, but he goofed around with Julian and the other Wander Inn guys, too.

  The Munchies performed snippets from the interpretive dance piece they did last year with the girls in my cabin. They’d saved their tree costumes and played the music we’d used for that talent show, plus used the younger campers’ pine cone projects as a way to remind us to respect the forest. I had fun posing with Jackie and Piper, and we recreated our bird dance with them, even though we were wearing tank tops and cut-offs.

  The younger kids had a lot of cute booths, too.

  The Pirates had a color wars court where you could wear arm bands and shoot Nerf guns at your friends. Brittany shot me so many times I got a Nerf dart stuck between my eyes, and we laughed until we almost peed ourselves.

  When we got to the Mermaids’ display with the recreation of Crystal Falls though, my heart stopped. I got tears in my eyes.

  It looked better than real, with an arch of ivy draped all around the log that had always been “our spot”—mine and Nick’s. There was even a soundtrack running so that you could hear rushing water and birds chirping. My life had changed forever sitting on that log next to Nick and not necessarily for the better.

  “You okay?” Britt asked me as she played with a purple silk butterfly that she’d found on a tree.

  “Remember that year I stopped being friends with Nick so I could be a Diva?” I blinked my eyes hard.

  She flew the butterfly over to land on my shoulder, the wooden clothespin underside of it resting on my skin. “Kind of. I just remembered the first time I saw you and how much I wanted you in our cabin.”

  I shook my head. “That wasn’t the first time you saw me, Britt. I went to camp for years before you noticed me. That was just the first year I was thin.”

  She bit her lip for a long moment, her hand and the butterfly still on my shoulder while some of the younger campers chased each other with bug nets around us.

  “My mom says the human eye is drawn to beauty,” said Brittany. “I might have noticed you because you changed, but that’s not why I’m your friend. I’m your friend because you’re sweet and funny and have the biggest heart of anyone I know.”

  “Yeah?” I needed the love I guess. I felt better even if I was still missing Nick.

  “Totally.” She dragged me over to the fake log over the fake Crystal Falls. “And the cool thing about your job, if you keep on doing makeup, is that you’re going to make the world a little more beautiful every day. One face at a time.”

  She floated the butterfly down to the neckline of my tank top and used the clothespin to attach it to my strap. My heart was in my throat and I couldn’t speak if I wanted to. But it was the last night of camp, the last night of an era, and I was an emotional mess.

  “You know, we didn’t call ourselves the Divas’ Den because we were fabulous,” Brittany reminded me as she handed Kennedi her phone to take our picture. “We just wanted to be.”

  “Really?” I tried to picture ten-year-old Brittany making up the name with Hannah back when they were even younger than Kennedi. “You didn’t want to be the Dweebs’ Den or Dorks’ Den?”

  “Hannah told me once I should be in the Ditzes’ Den.” Brittany put her arm around me, her temple pressed to mine as we posed while Kennedi messed with the camera settings and got the flash working.

  “It really doesn’t have the same ring to it,” I said between the clenched teeth of my camera-smile.

  “I think someone’s taken my seat.”

  The familiar male voice behind me made me jump.

  “Nick!” Brittany said it before me, leaping to her feet while Kennedi squealed and ran to him. “You’re back!”

  “Shhh.” He pressed a finger to his lips. “Got to keep it quiet until I talk to Kay. Can I steal her for a second?”

  Too shocked to move, I just stared.

  “Um, Kayla?” Brittany cleared her throat and motioned me over.

  Kennedi marched over to me, grabbed my hand, and dragged me toward him. “Now’s your chance.” She didn’t even whisper. She glared at me and pinched me in the side. “Don’t blow it.”

  I just nodded vaguely, stunned to see Nick Desanti in a dark corner of the mess hall after his five-day absence. He had a canvas backpack draped over one shoulder, the strap cinching his white T-shirt tight to his chest. His dark jeans and gray suede sneakers made me realize he’d been travelling. Those weren’t camp clothes.

  “Hi,” I said finally, my heart beating a zillion times in a minute. “I thought you were gone for good.”

  My words chirped in a weird pitch because I was a total wreck inside. Nick reached
for my hand and squeezed it.

  “I’m sorry about that. Can you come outside for a second?”

  I thought about it, hoping my ears weren’t deceiving me since my heartbeat so loud that the thump-thump was almost all I heard.

  “Just go!” Kennedi urged him, giving Nick a gentle shove in the back while Brittany kept jerking her head toward the door like she was having convulsions.

  What was the matter with me? All my life I’d been a follower. Why couldn’t I follow now when I really wanted to do exactly what they said?

  Shaking off the fog of surprise, I hurried toward the side door he must have come through. It led toward the kitchen.

  “Maybe we should just talk here?” Nick turned to face me.

  We could only see each other because of the light pouring in from the End of Summer Bash under the crack of a pass-through window. A few yards away, the big walk-in refrigerator reminded me of the night we played Seven Minutes in Heaven.

  “I wrote you a note,” I blurted, wanting to do this right. “I’ve been thinking about what I’d say to you if I had another chance, and I wrote it on a postcard I was going to try and send you.”

  “Kayla.” He shrugged out of his backpack and drew me deeper into the kitchen, closer to the big refrigeration unit until the noise from the mess hall dulled to a background hum. “You’ve been making total sense for weeks, and I haven’t been listening. I owe you an apology for so many things, and I was scared all day I wouldn’t make it back to camp in time to see you.”

  “Where have you been?” Frustration leaked into my voice. As glad as I was to see him, I wanted to understand why he left. “Why did you just leave without saying anything?”

  “I didn’t know what to say.” He let go of my hand and scrubbed his fingers through his hair. “I felt so stupid for being a jerk to my brother, and it made me think about how I’ve been…pushing away people who care about me all summer, like you and Zach. I never wanted to be like my dad, you know? Being hypercompetitive and getting down on people if they don’t do well. But at that game, I acted just like him.”

  “So you left because you were embarrassed about that?” I still didn’t understand.

  “No, I left to fix it.” He leaned a shoulder against the outside wall of the walk-in fridge, his backpack at his feet. “I couldn’t face you again when I was feeling sorry for myself and like I’d messed up. So I stopped in Charlotte to see my brother and I apologized.”

  “Really?” I remembered how much we used to trash Zach when we were younger and didn’t understand how much their dad fostered the competitiveness between the brothers.

  “Yeah.” Nick smiled. “He was totally cool. In fact, I convinced him to take a few days off and go up to Whistler with me.”

  “Whistler?” I was a New York girl, but I remembered a long-ago conversation with him about the mountain. “As in Alaska?”

  “I needed to shoot some of the live-action footage to put in the commercial for Backcountry Gear. Remember how we did mostly still shots at camp?”

  I nodded, hardly believing he’d gone to Alaska while I’d been finishing CIT training here. But that was his life. He was used to flying all over the country.

  “I thought you were tired of the travel and the hectic schedule? Didn’t you come to camp for a break?”

  “Kind of. But after you told me about pushing me into training and all my whining about it, I woke up feeling like a stupid, entitled baby. I mean, I wanted to know if it was really as bad as I made it sound that night or if I was just feeling down on myself.”

  “And?” Was he giving up snowboarding for good?

  Even in the dark, I could see something flicker in his eyes. A spark of interest. The same glimmer I’d seen three years ago when he talked about the sport.

  “I freaking love snowboarding.” He grinned in a way I hadn’t seen in a while. “I mean, it’s tough as hell when you’re training seriously, but when you’re doing it just for fun, it still ramps me up. I could spend all day on a mountain.”

  A tightness in my chest eased. I felt like I could breathe again. “So it wasn’t such a bad thing that you took up snowboarding?”

  “I owe you a huge debt that I get to do something I love every day.” He shifted closer to me in the darkened kitchen. “The only thing that would make me happier is if I could be with you, too.”

  My heart pumped harder, both from the words and from his nearness. But how many times had we gotten close this summer only to have things end in hurt? My eyes locked on his, searching for answers.

  “I’m not the same girl you used to know.” It had taken me a long time to see past the old Nick to appreciate the guy that he was now. Would he be able to see the new me?

  “I’ve noticed.”

  “Have you? Because I’m not just blindly following anyone these days. Not my friends. Not cute snowboarders.” I folded my arms to keep myself from touching him. These weren’t the words that I’d practiced in my head, but if he wanted to be with me— and I still couldn’t believe it—then it was important he understood.

  “Brooke texted me to tell me how much you helped her on her video shoot.” He lifted a hand to toy with a strand of hair that fell along my cheek, the whisper-soft touch making me shiver.

  “Brooke White?” I couldn’t decide if I felt jealous or just surprised. “Does she text you often?”

  I had to ask.

  “Never.” He smiled again, winding the ends of my hair around one finger. “But she posted a picture of her with Nia this afternoon when you did Nia’s hair. I think she wanted me to know she’d made up with her friend because I’d given Brooke hell about not going to see her when Nia sprained her arm that night.” He shrugged. “I was shocked to hear from her, but I think she was trying to fix things after terrorizing the whole camp this summer.”

  “You know she’s Gollum’s niece?”

  “Seriously?” Nick laughed. “Can’t you see her running the camp in twenty years?”

  “The campers will be singing ‘So Not Into You’ instead of B-I-N-G-O around the bonfires.” I moved closer to him, feeling like I had my friend back and much, much more. The shared jokes warmed my insides. His touch warmed…everything else.

  “Kayla.” His voice tripped over my senses and sent a shiver over my skin. “I’m so proud of you for all you’ve done this summer.”

  “For saving Brooke’s makeup job? Or being a great prop in your commercial?” I was still joking. Mostly.

  “For sharing your talents and letting your warm heart shine on everyone else. You’re really special.” He let go of my hair and traced the wing of the butterfly on my shoulder. “I knew how great you were all along. Now everyone else sees it, too.”

  “I don’t want to be in the background anymore.” I knew he understood that. I guess I just wanted to say it. “I’m going to Milan with my mother this fall. It’s a big risk, and I’ll be alone a lot. But I’m going to push myself.” I still got so nervous when I thought about it. “I want to learn more about the fashion world anyway. I think… that is, I know I’ve got an eye for it.”

  “I’m really happy for you, Kay. I actually spend a lot of time in the Alps, so if you wanted, I could come down and see you sometimes.”

  “Really?” A flicker of hope grew inside me. A hope I hadn’t dared to think about in a long time. “As in…you could come to Milan?”

  “I travel a lot. I’m pretty great at it, in fact. I can ask where the bathroom is in six languages.”

  I laughed. “That sounds useful.”

  His expression went serious again. “So what do you think? About you and me? I don’t think I can settle for being just friends again. It was great in the past, but I’ve always wanted more. At least, as soon as we were old enough, I’ve wanted—”

  I kissed him.

  Not with a lot of skill or anything, since I’d never took the lead on kissing a boy in my life, but my lips landed right where I wanted them. It was the start of a new era in my life
and in our relationship.

  When I leaned back, I had to smile at the heat in his eyes.

  “I’ve wanted that, too,” I explained. “For just as long as you have. I was waiting for you to come back to camp, but I’m not waiting anymore.”

  “Wow.” He unfastened the butterfly from the strap of my tank top and set it on a rack of metal shelving near the flour sacks. “I don’t want to crush this.”

  My heart went wild. “No?”

  “Definitely not.” He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in, his lips covering mine.

  I closed my eyes and lost myself in the feel of him all around me, his strong arms holding me tight, his chest pressed to mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on for dear life. This was one time I didn’t mind letting him take the lead. Not even one little bit.

  “Kayla.” He said it softly against my mouth when we were both breathless. “We should go back. I don’t want you to miss your last night at camp.”

  “I’m dying to kiss you more.” I ran my fingers through his hair, unable to get enough of him after the years of missing him. “These last few days were awful.”

  “I’m going to have you all to myself soon,” he promised. “I’m going to be here for you as long as you want me to be.”

  His words gave me the courage to untangle myself from him.

  “I know when you make a promise, you keep it.” I kissed his shoulder through his T-shirt since another kiss on the lips might be my undoing. My fingers trembled a little as I reached for my butterfly and pinned it back where Brittany had put it. “I’ve always trusted that.”

  He kissed the top of my head and squeezed my hand as he slung his backpack over one shoulder.

  “You ready for your walk down Memory Lane?” He guided me toward the door into the mess hall.

  “Almost.” I reached behind the industrial mixer and retrieved the note I’d written him earlier. “But you ought to take this before we go.”

  There wasn’t much for him to read since I’d spent most of my time decorating the postcard with hearts and flowers like a first-class romantic goof. But I meant every one of the words I’d written.