Safe Distance

by Megan Green

  The laughter ceases as he starts to speak again. “And somehow, even from beyond the grave, he’s still shoving me. The bastard knew just what I needed to hear, just when I needed to hear it. The message was simple. ‘Stop being a fucking idiot.’ In all caps, I might add.” The crowd gasps again. Ryan just shrugs. “What the hell. I’m probably already going to hell anyway, right, Father?”

  Surprisingly, the priest laughs. I thought for sure he’d be furious at Ryan’s language, but he doesn’t seem the least bit bothered by it.

  “With that short but sweet message, and a little advice from Emma,” he says with a wink in her direction, “they helped me realize just how much of an idiot I was being. And how tired I am of letting fear rule my life. So from now on, I’m following in Chris’s footsteps. If there’s one thing he taught me, it’s to live life to the fullest. Consequences be damned. And that’s one lesson I’ll never let myself forget again.”

  With that, he steps down from the podium and takes his seat next to Emma. What was that all about? Could he possibly be talking about me? My spirits lift as I sit in silence, pondering his words as the priest finally gives the closing prayer, throwing in something about forgiving the heathens for their language. I hear Ryan snort softly at that.

  When the services end, the family makes their way to the cemetery for the burial. I watch Ryan leave with them without as much as a glance at me. Any hope I’d had that his words had been directed at me vanishes. I follow Amanda and Justin out to their car, silent the whole way home.

  Later that night I’m lying in bed, trying to focus on the pages in front of me. It’s a manuscript for the publishing house I landed. Shortly after Ryan left the second time, I found out they were hiring an editor. I had no formal experience, but I took a shot and applied anyway. They’d been so impressed with my work on their account and with my English background, they hired me on a temporary trial. After about a month, they offered me the job formally. This is my first official job as an editor, and I should be over the moon, but I can’t keep my thoughts from turning to Ryan’s speech.

  I was so hopeful that he was referring to me. When he stepped down off the podium, I was ready to leap into his arms when he came to me. But instead, he sat back down. Not one look at me. It’s like he didn’t even know I was there. And I know that couldn’t be true.

  Amanda and Justin left a few hours ago, saying they were going out to dinner. They offered to bring me something back, but I didn’t want them to feel rushed, so I declined. Amanda said they might catch a movie then. She said she needed something to cheer her up after the day we’ve had. I felt like laughing. If she only knew the day I’ve had. I feel like I’ve run a marathon in my brain with how much my thoughts have been flying.

  I hear the doorknob turning in the living room, surprised they’re back so soon. I push the manuscript off my lap, leaving my room to ask them how their night was. When I step into the living room, I stop dead in my tracks.

  Ryan is standing there, a large bouquet of lilies in his hand. I don’t recall ever telling him that lilies are my favorite flower. Amanda, I think. I’m sure she had something to do with this. It would also explain how he got through my locked door.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask tentatively, echoing his words from that day in his house. He winces, obviously catching my implication.

  “I deserved that,” he says softly, almost sad. He brings his eyes to mine, his expression earnest, pleading.

  “Did I screw this up for good? I’ll understand if you say yes. But I had to try.”

  Any shred of anger I’d been attempting to hold on to disintegrates. I rush to him. He crushes me against his chest, the flowers coming around the side of my face as he puts his arms around me.

  “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I didn’t mean it.” I ramble off every possible apology I can think of, but he just shushes me.

  “It’s forgotten. I know you didn’t mean it. I was being an ass. I deserved it.”

  “No,” I shake my head vehemently. “I was wrong to say it.”

  He crushes me tighter against him. “Fine. You were wrong. I was wrong. Can we be wrong together?”

  I pull back from him, looking over his face. “What changed?”

  “A wise man told me to stop being a fucking idiot.”

  I laugh, never more grateful to anyone than I am to Chris in this moment.

  “I couldn’t live without you, Haylee. I was a fool for even thinking I could. I belong with you. You belong with me. And like I said at Chris’s funeral, I’m done living my life in fear. I won’t destroy our happiness for fear of what might happen. And I won’t make any more decisions for you. If you want me gone, you’re going to have to tell me yourself. And even then, I might not leave.”

  Tears run down my face as I laugh through his words. He smoothes his thumbs across my cheeks, wiping them away. His eyes meet mine, love so obvious in them that my heart soars.

  “So, from now on, you’ll get me when I’m happy, and you’ll get me when I’m sad. When I’m angry, scared, grouchy, goofy, sarcastic. When I’m being a gigantic pain in the ass and when I’m being my romantic, charming self.” He winks. “I’m offering you all of me, Haylee Jordan. And I want it all in return. If you’ll have me.”

  My answer is simple. I pull his lips against mine and give him everything.

  THE END.

  Acknowledgements

  So many people helped and supported me along this journey. First and foremost, I must thank my incredibly supportive and unbelievably amazing husband, Adam. Thank you for putting up with me during the many hours I spent writing this book. Thank you for always encouraging me and understanding when I just had to lock myself in the office for a few hours. You’re the best man I’ve ever known and I’m truly the luckiest woman on Earth. I love you!

  Next, thank you to my family. Thanks to my parents for always encouraging me to follow my dreams. Thanks to my grandmother for instilling a love of reading in me very early on. And thank you to my in-laws. Thank you for accepting me into your family and supporting me every step of the way.

  A huge thank you to my book BFFs, Amber, Cecile, Jeanna, and Nichole. Thank you for being the first to read this book and for helping me make it better. And for talking me off the ledge when I was ready to burn the whole thing (haha). I love all our book chats and you ladies never fail to put a smile on my face.

  Thank you to my wonderful editor and cover designer, Murphy Rae. She seriously kicks ass. If anyone reading this is thinking of self publishing, CONTACT her. She’s fabulous! Thank you to my second editor, Ami Deason, who helped me fix and polish as much as possible after I destroyed Murphy’s work with my changes. You’re the sweetest person ever. I look forward to working with both of you ladies again!

  Thank you to all the bloggers, authors, readers, etc who read and/or offered advice to me along the way. I truly appreciate you taking the time to answer my millions of questions.

  And last, I have to give a shout out to Colleen Hoover. Though she may not know me and will most likely never read this, her incredible story, talent, and generosity are what encouraged me to finally start writing again. Thank you for being such an inspiration to not only me, but millions of others. And if you haven’t read her books, go buy them all. Now. You won’t regret it.

  Oh, and thank YOU. For purchasing my book. For taking a chance on a brand new author. For spending your precious reading time on my little story. I truly hope you enjoyed it.

  About the Author

  Megan lives in northern Utah with her husband, Adam, and incredibly spoiled dog, Tucker. She spends far too much time reading anything and everything she can get her hands on. Safe Distance is her debut novel.

  Please contact her at:

  Megangreenwrites@gmail.com

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