The Girl's Guide to Getting Hitched: A charming feel-good read

by Sophie Hart

  ‘Why didn’t you give him a fake one?’ Gill chuckled.

  ‘I would have done if I’d thought of it! I was under pressure. My mind went blank.’

  ‘Was he hot?’ Julia asked cheekily.

  Debbie went even redder. ‘No! Well, maybe, yes. A bit.’

  ‘Didn’t he see your ring?’ Aimee wondered, nodding at the vintage diamond band on Debbie’s left hand.

  ‘I never thought of that. He can’t have done, can he?’

  ‘Some men’ll try it on, regardless,’ Gill muttered darkly.

  ‘Oh no, what must he think of me?’ Debbie wailed.

  ‘Don’t worry about it,’ Julia smiled. ‘I told you you were looking hot tonight, and this just proves it.’

  ‘Yes, but I didn’t want this to happen!’

  ‘Maybe it’s something you need to get used to, now you’re all slim and sexy. You’ll be beating them off with a stick.’

  ‘Oh stop it, don’t be ridiculous.’

  ‘Perhaps you should start practising your turn-down lines – you know, how to say “no” when a man who’s not your fiancé asks for your phone number,’ Gill teased.

  ‘Aaaargh,’ Debbie squealed, burying her face in her hands. ‘I’m such an idiot!’

  ‘Aw, bless you,’ Gill laughed, leaning across to squeeze her hand.

  ‘You know what you need?’ Julia was grinning across the table at her.

  ‘My head examining?’ Debbie wailed.

  ‘Nope. More prosecco,’ Julia called out gleefully, refilling everyone’s glass.

  The women cheered, and Debbie gratefully took a long gulp, hoping it might erase the memory of giving her number to some complete stranger in a busy bar.

  And if all else failed, there was always tequila.

  19

  ‘Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended’ – Zsa Zsa Gabor

  ‘Ohhh, this is the life,’ Julia groaned, as she sank deeper into the enormous claw-foot bath, overflowing with bubbles. Nick, seated behind her, wrapped his arms around her and she closed her eyes blissfully as she leaned against him, enjoying the feel of his—

  Damn, had she remembered to put Raffy the giraffe in Jack’s bag? He couldn’t sleep without it and… Yes, yes, she had, Julia realised, relaxing once more. She distinctly recalled putting it in the side zip compartment, along with half a dozen muslins, just in case.

  Julia lay back again, resting her head on Nick’s soapy chest. Lazily, she let her fingers run over his thighs, tracing little designs on his skin with the soapy water.

  ‘Would madam like more champagne?’ Nick murmured into her ear, as he reached out and refilled their glasses from the bottle in the silver stand beside them.

  ‘Mmm, delicious,’ Julia smiled, as the two of them clinked glasses and she took a sip of fizz.

  She gazed dreamily out of the window across the room; it was dark now, but she could see the curve of a crescent moon and lights in the distance illuminating the little town of Windermere. Just outside their hotel lay the blackness of the lake, with bare trees dotting its shoreline, and beyond that lurked the shadowy mountains. They were beautiful in their bleakness, thickly layered with snow at this time of year.

  ‘It’s so thoughtful of you to bring me here,’ sighed Julia. After Debbie had agreed to look after Jack for the weekend, Nick had seized the opportunity, and told Julia to leave all the planning to him. He’d booked the same hotel in the Lake District where they’d gone for their first ever mini-break, all those years ago.

  ‘I know. Aren’t I a good husband?’ Nick beamed. ‘Full of romantic gestures.’

  ‘Okay, Casanova,’ Julia laughed. Then a thought struck her and she sat up so quickly she almost spilt her champagne. ‘Damn, did I tell Debbie that Jack might have a peanut allergy?’ She span round to look at Nick, her face filled with panic.

  ‘Yes,’ he assured her. ‘Yes, you did. This is Debbie remember, she’s always looking after Jack. She knows his routine.’

  ‘But that’s during the day,’ Julia protested. ‘We’ve never left him overnight before.’

  ‘He’ll be fine,’ Nick insisted softly, encouraging Julia to lie back down. ‘It’s completely natural to be worried, but we knew it was going to be like this, and he couldn’t be in better hands.’

  ‘I know,’ Julia agreed. ‘It just feels so strange. I mean, what if he takes his first steps this weekend? He’s been getting so close to walking by himself, and I’d never forgive myself if I missed it. I told you he almost said “car” the other day, didn’t I? Or maybe it was “cat”. What if he starts saying whole sentences and we’re not there to hear them?’ Julia was growing hysterical.

  ‘If he starts chattering away at ten months old then he’s clearly a genius and we need to get back immediately,’ Nick chuckled. ‘But short of him reciting Shakespeare, I reckon we’re not missing out on anything much. Let’s just think about us, shall we? Just for one weekend.’ His voice was low, and he began nuzzling at Julia’s neck, nibbling at her earlobe. She gave a throaty laugh, tilting her head up to kiss him, long and deep.

  ‘It’s been a long time since you’ve kissed me like that,’ Nick grinned, as they finally came up for air. ‘I’d almost forgotten what it was like.’

  ‘Here’s another reminder,’ Julia purred, shifting her whole body around so that the water went sloshing over the side of the tub, bubbles landing in wet, white mounds on the floor. Neither of them noticed the mess as they reached for one other, discovering places they hadn’t explored for a very long time.

  ‘So, what do you say to making another baby?’ Nick growled, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

  ‘Er, no thanks, I’ve got enough on with one for now. But I am happy to practise…’

  Julia smirked as she went to kiss him and Nick reached for her, pulling her closer. Suddenly she sat bolt upright, wriggling out of his grasp.

  ‘What now?’ Nick asked in exasperation. ‘Yes, Jack has his special blanket, and we’ve packed enough nappies to see him through until he’s old enough to vote, and Debbie knows not to let him play with matches, or—’

  ‘Shush, Nick!’ Julia snapped, as she cocked her head to one side, listening intently. ‘I’m sure that’s my phone ringing – I left it in my bag.’

  ‘It’ll be a wrong number, or a PPI call.’

  ‘What if it’s not? What if something’s happened to Jack?’

  Julia was up and out of the bath in seconds, her eyes wide with fear. She pulled an enormous fluffy towel off the heated rail, hastily wrapping it round her as she ran through to the bedroom, her feet leaving damp stains on the thick carpet. Rifling through her bag, she pulled out her phone, grimacing as she saw the name on the screen.

  ‘It’s Valerie,’ she called through to Nick.

  ‘What? The dragon lady?’

  ‘Don’t say that!’ Julia shushed him, as though Valerie could hear their conversation. She looked down at the phone, still flashing in her hand. ‘Should I get it?’

  ‘No! It’s Friday night and we’re away for the weekend. You can get back to her on Monday.’

  Julia bit her lip. ‘She’s not really a nine-to-five, Monday-to-Friday kind of woman.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter, just ignore it, she can—’

  In the bathroom, Nick groaned as he heard his wife answer the phone. Climbing reluctantly out of the tub, he wrapped a towel around his waist, tucking it in below his belly button, where the dark hair lay in a damp trail.

  He shook his head at Julia as he strolled through to the bedroom, and she winced guiltily, turning away.

  ‘Yes, Valerie, absolutely. No, I’m afraid I don’t have the details with me right now. No, I… I’m away for the weekend, you see. No, we’re in the Lake District, so it’s quite a long… Yes, I realise that. I could search through the emails on my phone? See if I have the information on there and…’ She caught Nick’s eye and he glared at her while she mouthed an apology. ‘Oh, I see. Well we won’t be back until Sunday eve
ning, so I don’t think that… Okay… Yes, I understand… I’ll see what I can do. Okay, I’ll call you back shortly. Bye Valerie.’

  Julia hung up and Nick exploded.

  ‘No, you will not call her back shortly! What did she want anyway?’

  Julia pulled a face, feeling caught between Valerie’s demands and her husband’s desires. ‘She can’t find the latest version of the guest list, but obviously I don’t have it with me. I think I might have something on here…’ She trailed off, scrolling through her phone.

  Nick marched over and snatched the phone out of her hand. Julia looked up in alarm as he strode across the room to the wardrobe safe, tossing the phone inside and locking it with a combination he didn’t reveal.

  ‘Nick!’ Julia wailed. ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘Taking you for dinner,’ he replied calmly. ‘Come on, let’s get ready.’

  ‘But—’

  ‘It’s almost eight o’clock on Friday night on Valentine’s weekend. We’re in the most beautiful location, in the most gorgeous hotel, and you are not going to spend your time working.’

  ‘But what if Debbie rings?’

  ‘If you don’t pick up, I’m sure she’ll try my number. After all, you did give her it on that endless contact list, along with your parents’ details and my parents’ details – despite the fact that they live a three-hour drive away – and the number of Jack’s doctor, and the nearest out-of-hours surgery, and probably the local vicar too in case he goes all Exorcist on her.’

  In spite of herself, Julia started to smile.

  Nick stepped across, his eyes softer now, as he wrapped his arms around his wife. ‘Come on, let’s get ready and I’ll take you for a lovely dinner.’

  Julia let herself be swept up in his embrace, relaxing against his chest as she inhaled the freshly washed scent of him. Although she knew she should be angry with him for taking her phone, it was undeniably sexy to see him behave so masterfully, and it was a relief to know she couldn’t speak to Valerie even if she wanted to (which she really didn’t).

  ‘Okay,’ Julia agreed, kissing him. ‘Give me thirty minutes and I’ll see what I can do.’

  * * *

  ‘Mmm, this is delicious. How’s yours?’

  ‘I don’t care how it tastes,’ Nick replied, shovelling tender duck breast into his mouth. ‘It’s just such a novelty to be able to eat a meal without being interrupted by crying or screaming or throwing food. And that’s just you on a bad day!’

  Julia grinned at his teasing. But she knew exactly what Nick meant. It felt luxurious to be able to linger over dinner without having to get up in the middle of it to see to Jack. Which reminded her…

  ‘I hope Debbie got Jack off to sleep okay.’

  ‘I’m sure he’ll be fine. He usually conks out around seven anyway.’

  ‘Yeah, but it might be different if neither of us are there to settle him,’ Julia fretted. Whilst she’d initially enjoyed not having her phone, it was now starting to make her anxious. ‘I’d feel so much better if I could just drop Debs a quick text…’ She looked beseechingly at her husband.

  ‘Okay,’ Nick acquiesced, putting down his knife and fork, and handing over his phone. ‘Go for it.’

  ‘Thanks, hon.’ Julia quickly tapped out a text, then went back to her gnocchi.

  ‘Hey, did I mention that Anthony at work is having a big party for his fortieth? It’s the first Saturday in March, and he’s hired a function room at some hotel out near Crostwick. It should be a good do.’

  ‘What about Jack?’

  ‘Well we’d have to get a babysitter. Debbie might be free.’

  ‘I don’t want to impose. She’s already looked after him loads this past couple of months. And if she’s not free, there’s no one else I’d leave him with.’

  ‘Maybe your parents can come down for the night. We can’t stop having lives just because we have a baby. It’s been ten months now.’

  ‘What, so at ten months he’s old enough to fend for himself while we go out raving?’

  ‘That’s not what I meant. But we are allowed the occasional night off. Besides, you’ve done so much for Debbie’s wedding that she owes us a few evenings of babysitting.’

  Julia nodded, not wanting to get into an argument. ‘Okay, I’ll ask her.’

  They carried on eating in silence as Julia gazed around the hotel restaurant, busy with couples having romantic meals for two. The room was small and cosy, decorated in an olde-worlde style, with dark wooden beams and a roaring open fire.

  ‘Oh, did I tell you what Debbie said the other day? Apparently there’s this little girl at nursery – I think she’s called Mia – and she turned up wearing a big pink frilly skirt. Jack was obsessed with it and kept following her round, trying to look underneath!’

  Nick chuckled as he speared a slice of potato dauphinoise. ‘Did he? That’s my boy.’

  ‘Hmm, crawling around on his hands and knees, chasing after some piece of skirt? Yeah, just like his dad,’ Julia winked. ‘You know, he seems to be enjoying nursery so much that I was thinking we should take him to do some other activities – maybe swimming, or baby music? You can even do baby signing! What do you reckon?’

  Nick chewed thoughtfully, swallowing before he finally spoke. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way, but do you think we could talk about something else tonight?’

  Julia stared at him in confusion.

  ‘Look, before we had Jack, we used to chat about all kinds of stuff – travelling and careers and which of our friends had got drunk and accidentally slept with one another. Now it’s all about what Jack ate today and what consistency his poo was. Not that I don’t find that fascinating,’ he tried to joke.

  But Julia didn’t smile. She suddenly felt discomfited, her stomach twisting unhappily.

  ‘Aren’t you missing him?’ she wondered, staring hard at Nick.

  Nick shrugged. ‘Yeah, of course. I just don’t want us to become one of those couples whose kids leave home one day and the parents find they’ve got absolutely nothing in common any more. You know?’

  Julia nodded, shivering despite the warmth of the open fire.

  ‘Nick,’ she began, realising she couldn’t put off this conversation any longer. The words were out of her mouth before she’d even thought them through. ‘Do you… Do you ever regret having Jack?’

  Nick glanced up sharply, taken aback by the question. ‘No, of course not. I mean, I’m not going to deny that life’s completely different since we’ve had him, and it’s not always been the easiest thing, but I don’t regret it. Why, do you?’

  ‘No, absolutely not! I just… Sometimes I get the impression that you’re not that interested in him. Like, you’re happy to have him around, as long as I do all the work and he doesn’t get in your way too much.’

  ‘Oh, we’re back to this are we?’ Nick groaned. ‘You’re expecting me to somehow magically look after Jack all day, despite having a full-time job?’

  ‘That’s not what I meant at all,’ Julia backtracked. ‘But even when you are at home, you never seem interested in changing him, or bathing him, or even spending that much time with him. I worry that you’re missing out. And that Jack’s missing out on Daddy time…’ Julia broke off, suddenly close to tears.

  Nick heard the crack in her voice, and looked up in surprise. His angry expression instantly dissolved, like a mask being whipped away, and Julia suddenly saw how exhausted and unhappy he looked.

  ‘I don’t know what it is,’ Nick confessed, his voice barely more than a whisper. ‘I just feel so useless when I’m around him.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Julia hardly dared to breathe as Nick spoke. It felt as though a dam had burst and everything was about to come rushing out. ‘You’re his dad, of course he needs you.’

  ‘It’s not that, exactly.’ Nick screwed up his face, rubbing his hand tiredly across his forehead as he tried to find the right words. ‘When Jack was born, I was elated. It was like nothing I’d ever
felt before. I had a son, and my head was full of visions of me teaching him how to ride his bike, and playing football in the park. But he’s so tiny still, it’s like I don’t know what to do with him.

  ‘And you seem to know instinctively,’ Nick continued, the words pouring out. ‘I watch you and you’re so good with him, and he responds to that. During the week, I barely even see him. He goes to bed almost as soon as I get in from work, and I just feel that… Well, it’s like I’m not even needed. The two of you can manage just fine, and there’s no place for me.’

  ‘Oh, Nick, of course there’s a place for you.’ Julia’s heart ached as she dropped her knife and fork, reaching out across the table to take Nick’s hands in hers. ‘And I don’t mean to take over, I really don’t.’

  ‘I know, and I’m not saying that. I just… Be patient with me, okay.’ Nick looked up nervously, his dark eyes soft and vulnerable. He smiled hesitantly, and Julia smiled back.

  ‘Whatever you need,’ she promised him.

  ‘Well, funny you should mention that,’ Nick grinned, leaning back in his chair and throwing aside his knife and fork. The atmosphere changed completely as he looked at Julia, electricity crackling in the air as desire flamed in his eyes. ‘What I really need tonight is to spend some time alone with my gorgeous wife. So what do you say we head back to the room, order more champagne on room service, and see where this Valentine’s night takes us?’

  ‘Sounds perfect,’ Julia grinned, and she meant it.

  20

  ‘I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all’ – Lord Byron

  Gill and Mike were sitting in their living room, watching television, as Sam lay on the floor in front of them, playing with his pirate ship. Paige was upstairs, doing her homework, while Kelly was sitting on the far end of the sofa, scrolling through her iPad. Suddenly, she clapped a hand to her mouth, bolting upright.

  ‘Oh, wow!’ she exclaimed.