The Girl's Guide to Getting Hitched: A charming feel-good read

by Sophie Hart

  ‘Well I’d love to help, but there’s not a lot I can do right now. I can’t exactly pull out of Jonny’s birthday because I’ve got to babysit.’

  ‘Newsflash Nick, when it’s your child, it’s not called babysitting, it’s called parenting.’

  Nick looked guilty but stuck to his guns. ‘Can’t you give Debbie a call, see if she’s free?’

  ‘Fine,’ Julia huffed. ‘Don’t worry about it, I’ll sort everything out as usual.’ And she stormed out of the room in search of her phone.

  * * *

  As Julia pulled into Valerie’s sweeping driveway later that day, she was still stewing over the spat she’d had with Nick. Fortunately, Debbie had been good enough to take Jack, and Julia had dropped him off there half an hour earlier, but Nick’s dismissive attitude had really riled her. She closed the car door with a satisfying slam, hoping it might help calm her down. It didn’t.

  Julia jabbed sharply at the doorbell, hearing the now-familiar set of chimes sound inside the house.

  A few moments later, Aimee answered, the look on her face making it clear to Julia that Valerie was driving her insane.

  ‘Julia, you’re here,’ she sighed, in obvious relief. ‘Come in. Valerie’s just through here,’ she explained through clenched teeth, her eyes flagging a warning as she led Julia along the hallway and into the ostentatious living room.

  ‘Julia, thank God you’ve arrived,’ Valerie burst out dramatically when she saw her, one hand flying to her chest in a gesture of relief. ‘I have no idea what to do. It’s going to be a disaster.’

  ‘What is it? What’s happened?’ Julia asked in alarm. Had Jonathan had been struck down by some horrible illness? Maybe Aimee’s dress had gone missing in transit. Or what if the venue had burnt down?

  ‘Southwark Castle called this morning, and the chef can’t source enough fresh asparagus for the starters. Some kind of national shortage apparently. Probably the immigrants aren’t picking it quickly enough.’

  Julia was almost blasé by now about Valerie’s breathtakingly un-PC comments.

  ‘What are we going to do?’ Valerie wailed. ‘I’ve got three hundred people expecting an asparagus starter with hollandaise sauce and a poached quail’s egg, and I’m not going to be able to give it to them!’

  ‘Did the venue suggest an alternative?’ Julia asked, struggling to give Valerie’s concerns the gravitas she so clearly expected.

  ‘Stuffed mushroom,’ Valerie grimaced, with a curl of her lip that implied it didn’t meet her exacting standards.

  ‘And the other choices aren’t affected? So guests will have the option of the goose liver pâté, smoked chicken salad, or stuffed mushroom for a starter?’

  Valerie nodded. ‘It’s really not good enough. I expect you to negotiate a substantial discount for this, Julia.’

  ‘I’ll see what I can do,’ she replied evenly. ‘So now we’ve got that out of the way, what was the big emergency you called me over here for?’

  Valerie’s forehead creased in confusion. ‘What do you mean? The asparagus was the issue, the asparagus!’

  ‘That was it?’ The words were out before Julia had a chance to stop them.

  ‘Well, I’m glad you don’t seem to think there’s a problem.’ Valerie’s tone changed completely, her voice becoming icy. ‘If the unavailability of fresh asparagus spears mere weeks before a wedding for three hundred guests doesn’t feature on your radar, then perhaps I misjudged your suitability for this role.’

  Julia was too angry to speak. She thought of how she’d argued with Nick that morning, begged Debbie to look after Jack, rushed to get him ready before racing over here on a Saturday lunch time… and all for a shortage of asparagus.

  In that moment, Julia realised that Valerie really didn’t give a damn about her private life. She fully expected her to be on call 24/7 for her every need, with no consideration for any other plans Julia might have. Then again, she was paying a hefty fee for it, Julia reminded herself, forcing herself to count to ten before opening her mouth.

  ‘I’m sorry, Valerie, you were right,’ Julia apologised, hating herself as she said the words. ‘I just… I expected something different, so I was a little thrown, but I’ll get on to Southwark Castle right away and make sure we’re fully covered with other options. I’ll make it clear that we expect to see their mistake reflected when we receive the final invoice.’

  ‘Good,’ Valerie said, clearly satisfied with Julia’s grovelling. ‘And while I’ve got you here…’

  Julia’s heart sank. She’d been hoping to turn around and go straight back out of the door, to spend the afternoon with Jack and wait for Nick to come home. She had a feeling she owed him an apology too.

  ‘…I wanted to go through the running order of the day with you.’ Valerie moved across to the sofa, sitting down and taking a pile of papers from the coffee table. ‘Aimee, go make us a pot of tea,’ she ordered, without looking up.

  Aimee and Julia exchanged looks of disbelief. Aimee hesitated for a fraction of a second, as though debating whether or not to refuse Valerie’s demand; she appeared to think better of it, and dutifully left the room.

  ‘Now, between you and me,’ Valerie continued, leaning in to Julia and lowering her voice. ‘I have some serious concerns about Aimee’s bridesmaids – not to mention that mother of hers. Oh, she’s very sweet,’ Valerie added hastily, as she saw Julia’s incredulous expression. ‘But she’s rather… different, to the people Jonathan and I usually socialise with.’

  Julia nodded, wondering where Valerie was going with this, but feeling increasingly uneasy.

  ‘As tradition dictates, Aimee will be getting ready at her parents’ house on the morning of the wedding, which is all very nice of course but does mean that I won’t be there to oversee the proceedings. So, in my absence, Julia, I need you to be my eyes and ears.’

  Julia frowned, still not understanding what exactly Valerie wanted.

  ‘I’m sure that Aimee’s bridesmaids are all lovely girls – in spite of the fat ankles and ubiquitous tattoos – but I can’t help but worry that they’re all going to turn up lathered in orange fake tan, with enormous eyelashes and far too much blusher. I also have grave doubts about the mother’s ability to dress herself suitably and, to be frank with you, Julia, I don’t want any of them lowering the tone on my son’s special day.

  ‘So if you could find the time to pop over and ensure that everyone looks… appropriate, I’d very much appreciate it. I’m sure you understand what I mean,’ Valerie attempted to smile. She leaned over to touch Julia awkwardly on the arm, as though to emphasise their secret.

  ‘I… Um… That is…’ Julia’s mouth flapped open and closed, with no idea of what to say. She gaped incredulously at Valerie, but was saved from answering when Aimee came back into the room, carrying a tea tray with a plate of beautifully arranged biscuits. Valerie jumped up, snatching back her hand and hastily flicking through the glossy brochure they’d received from Southwark Castle.

  ‘Julia, your bag’s vibrating,’ Aimee told her, not picking up on the atmosphere between the two women.

  ‘Thanks,’ Julia smiled. She’d left her handbag over by the door and, sensing Valerie’s disapproval, was about to ignore the call. But some instinct made her decide to answer it and she crossed the room, pulling out her phone. Debbie’s name was flashing on the screen, and Julia instantly felt a pang of trepidation.

  ‘And we really ought to re-think the number of candles,’ Valerie was saying. ‘Otherwise it’ll look more like Irish wake than a wedding, and no one—’

  Julia cut her off in mid-flow. ‘I’m sorry, I have to take this call. It’s my son’s childminder.’

  She hurried out of the room, hearing Valerie’s shocked, ‘Well!’, as Julia closed the door behind her.

  ‘Hi Debs, what’s up,’ she said, trying to sound nonchalant despite the fact that some sixth sense was making her incredibly nervous. She fully expected to hear Debbie’s cheery tones reassuring
her that everything was fine - perhaps Julia had forgotten to pack Raffy and Jack was getting grizzly, or something equally trivial. But Debbie’s voice was tight with tension.

  ‘Hey Jules, look I don’t want to alarm you, but Jack doesn’t seem very well. He’s been sleeping since you dropped him off here, and when I went to check on him he’d got a really high temperature – thirty-nine – and a rash.’

  ‘What?’ Julia burst out. A wave of sheer terror washed over her, her mind whirling as she imagined all the horrific possibilities of what could be wrong with her baby.

  ‘I called the out-of-hours doctor, and they advised me to bring him into A&E, just as a precaution. I don’t have a baby seat, so they’re going to send an ambulance. They’ll be here any minute so I need to go, but can you meet me there? And can you let Nick know too?’

  ‘Of course, yes, I’ll set off straight away,’ Julia told her, hanging up. For a second she couldn’t think straight. Her hands were shaking, her heart thumping. All she knew was that she had to get to Jack.

  She dashed back through to the living room, where Aimee and Valerie looked up in alarm at her anxious expression and wide eyes. ‘I’m so sorry, but I’m going to have to leave. My son’s been taken ill,’ she explained hastily, picking up her bag.

  ‘Oh no, what’s wrong?’ Aimee asked, clearly concerned, at the same time as Valerie said,

  ‘Julia, children get ill all the time. They’re always picking up coughs and colds. You can’t simply go running after them at the first sign of a sneeze.’

  For once, Julia completely ignored Valerie, speaking directly to Aimee.

  ‘He’s…’ Julia stopped. Her breathing was coming fast, and there was a lump in her throat making it difficult to speak. ‘He’s got a temperature and a rash. The doctor’s advised taking him to A&E. I’m going straight there now.’

  ‘I’ll take you,’ Aimee offered, touching Julia lightly on the arm and forcing her to stand still for a moment. ‘You’re in no state to drive.’

  ‘Well…’ Valerie began, looking discomfited. ‘This is all very—’

  ‘Thank you,’ Julia said quietly, nodding at Aimee. ‘That’s very kind.’

  And the two women rushed out of the door, leaving Valerie alone in the enormous house.

  26

  ‘Come, let’s be a comfortable couple and take care of each other! How glad we shall be, that we have somebody we are fond of always, to talk to and sit with’ – Charles Dickens

  Julia rushed into the children’s ward, where the A&E receptionist had sent her. She’d had an agonising journey to the hospital, the worst things rushing through her mind, as Aimee drove quickly yet safely through the Saturday afternoon traffic.

  ‘He’ll be fine,’ Aimee kept telling her calmly.

  But Julia didn’t reply, staring out of the window and digging her nails into her palm so tightly she almost broke the skin. She’d already called Nick, and he was on his way to the hospital too – they’d meet each other there. She couldn’t help but think of the row they’d had this morning, and how they’d parted on bad terms. Now their silly squabble seemed insignificant; the most important thing in the world was that Jack was okay.

  ‘I’m Jack Crawford’s mother,’ Julia told the paediatric receptionist breathlessly. ‘He was brought in by Debbie Barlow.’

  The receptionist tapped nonchalantly into her computer, not seeming to appreciate Julia’s urgency. ‘Yes, he’s in examination room three, down the corridor and to the left, the third door along.’

  Julia barely waited for her to finish the sentence before she was off and running, with only the vaguest notion of where she was going.

  She ground to a halt as she spotted a door marked ‘3’, and she knocked softly, hardly able to stop herself from running straight in.

  She heard a movement from inside the room, then the door clicked and Debbie was standing there.

  ‘Julia!’

  ‘Debbie, how is he? What’s going on?’

  Julia flew into the room, barrelling towards her son who was currently asleep, a drip in the back of his hand. Tears were running freely down her cheeks as she knelt beside him and stroked his forehead, her hands brushing over the baby-soft hair on his head. He looked so tiny and vulnerable in the hospital cot-bed; all she wanted to do was pick him up and hold him to her, but she knew it was impossible.

  ‘What have they said?’ she asked, turning away for the first time to look at Debbie.

  Debbie’s face was grave but calm as she recited the news. ‘The doctor’s just examined him and he’ll be back shortly. They’ve run some tests, but he did say that he didn’t think it was anything serious. We have to wait for the test results to confirm it, but the doctor seemed fairly confident that it wasn’t anything major.’

  Julia visibly relaxed at this. ‘Oh, thank God.’ She let her head drop forward, closing her eyes for a second as she took in the news.

  Debbie plucked a tissue from the box at the side of the bed. ‘Here.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Julia said gratefully, wiping her eyes. ‘And thank you so much for… everything.’ She gestured around her, her voice choked with emotion.

  Debbie knew exactly what she meant. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. Anyone would have done the same thing.’ She stepped forward, placing a hand on Julia’s shoulder. ‘He’ll be okay, Jules, I’m sure of it.’

  Julia nodded, acknowledging her comment. ‘Did the doctor say how long he’d be?’

  Debbie shook her head. ‘He just said he’d be back as soon as he could. I told him you were on your way.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘What about Nick? Did you manage to get hold of him?’

  ‘Yeah, he should be here any moment. Actually, I’ll try and call him now then he can come straight to the right ward.’

  Julia stood up from where she’d been crouching beside the bed, taking her hand away from Jack for the first time as she pulled her phone out of her bag. Three missed calls from Nick.

  ‘Would you mind calling him back?’ she asked shakily, passing the phone to Debbie. ‘I’m in such a state I can’t think straight.’

  ‘Sure, no problem,’ Debbie agreed. She’d just hit the button to dial Nick’s number when there was a sharp rap on the door. Debbie moved to open it and Nick burst in, his face ashen.

  ‘How is he?’ he demanded, moving straight to the bed, glancing anxiously between Jack and Julia as he waited for answers.

  ‘Debbie’s spoken to the doctor, and he doesn’t think it’s anything serious. He’s run some tests, and he’ll be back shortly. That’s all we know right now. I only got here a few minutes before you.’

  Nick sank down onto a plastic chair by the bed, his head in his hands.

  ‘I should have been there,’ he murmured, distraught. ‘I should have been looking after him. How selfish was I, insisting on going to play football? What was I thinking?’

  ‘Ssh, it doesn’t matter,’ Julia insisted, rubbing his back where he was hunched over. ‘You didn’t know this was going to happen. And Debbie did absolutely the right thing. It was probably even better that he was with her, as she’s got her medical training from the nursery. She knows what to look out for in children.’

  But Nick was still shaking his head. ‘If something happens to him, I’ll never forgive myself.’

  Julia was facing the exact same fears and guilt herself. What if she’d just said no to Valerie? Told her that family was more important than work on a weekend? But Nick clearly felt even worse than she did, and focusing on him served as a welcome distraction.

  Julia crouched down in front of her husband, taking hold of his hand. ‘He’s going to be fine, I’m sure of it. He’s a tough little cookie, just like his dad.’

  Nick had his eyes closed, pinching the brow of his nose. He looked utterly beaten.

  Then the door opened and Julia jumped to her feet, all three of them looking urgently at the doctor who’d just walked in. He was a tall, tired-looking, middle-aged man, wearing a g
rey shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and suit trousers. His name tag read: ‘Dr Neil Clarke’.

  ‘I’m Julia Crawford, Jack’s mother,’ she said instantly. ‘Is he okay?’

  Dr Clarke paused, and in that instant Julia was certain that her heart stopped for a second. She was suspended on a precipice, about to be lifted up or crash to the ground.

  ‘He’s going to be fine,’ the doctor said.

  Nick exhaled loudly and Julia burst into tears, all the pent-up emotions spilling out.

  ‘What happened? What was wrong with him?’

  ‘Jack appears to have a viral infection, but obviously we’ve taken a blood sample and tested for inflammation, as we wanted to rule out anything more serious like meningitis or pneumonia. We’ve put him on a drip to stop him getting dehydrated, and given him a very mild dose of liquid paracetamol, to reduce the fever. He’s sleeping for now, and I’d advise letting him get as much rest as possible. You’ll need to keep a close eye on him for the next few days, but there’s no reason why he shouldn’t make a full recovery.’

  ‘Oh, thank you so much,’ Julia sobbed, trying to get a hold of herself. This last hour had been a real rollercoaster of emotions, and now it was overwhelming relief that swept through her. Nick pulled her to him, hushing her, and Julia clung to him.

  ‘Jules, I’m going to head off now,’ Debbie murmured, clearly feeling that she was intruding on the family moment. ‘Give me a call later, let me know how he’s getting on.’

  ‘Of course. Of course I will,’ Julia sniffed. ‘Honestly Debbie, I can’t thank you enough.’

  Debbie shrugged modestly. ‘Don’t worry about it. As long as he’s okay, that’s all that matters. Bye Jack,’ she whispered, waggling her fingers in his direction. ‘Get better soon. See you, Nick.’

  ‘Thanks for everything, Debbie,’ Nick said, and she could see the strain of the day etched on his face.

  ‘I’ll be back shortly to check on him,’ Dr Clarke explained, before leaving the room, Debbie following behind him and quietly closing the door.