Born in the Shadows (In the Shadows Series Book 1)

by Courtney McPhail

  Olivia gave her another once over and seemed satisfied that Cordelia spoke the truth. She then craned her neck to peer over Cordelia’s shoulder.

  “Who is your guest?”

  “He’s just a friend,” Cordelia replied defensively. She felt like she was a teenager who had been busted sneaking a boy into her room.

  “Well you better get that broth into your friend. The first time always takes a lot out of you.”

  Cordelia glared in annoyance at the way she said friend but she knew better than to argue. Though she adored her new family, one of the things she had learned over the last couple of weeks was that they were meddlers. If she went into denial mode, it would tip Olivia off. The lady doth protest too much and all that. Better to let it pass and pray she left it alone.

  “Thanks for the advice.”

  “I’ll leave you two alone,” Olivia said with a wink and Cordelia rolled her eyes as she exited the room.

  Cordelia grabbed the soup and walked around the couch to face Gabe. She held the bowl out to him and smiled reassuringly.

  “Here, eat this. It will make you feel better.”

  He took the proffered bowl and just held it, staring down at the swirling liquid. She longed to reach out and discover what he was thinking. The blank slate of his face giving nothing away but she was quick to rein in the urge. She didn’t want to get into the habit of rooting around people’s heads. Everyone deserved their privacy, especially in their own minds.

  So she was just going to have to sort out what was going on with Gabe the old-fashioned way. A calm voice and no sudden movements were her best friends right now. She sat down on the coffee table facing him and reached out to place her hand on his knee.

  “Please Gabe, you need to eat something.”

  Her voice was soft but the pleading tone was still strong. He nodded, picking up the spoon and putting some of the broth into his mouth. His face lit up at the first taste and he began to eat faster.

  She watched him as he ate, studying the way his lips moved around the spoon and the way the muscles in his neck flexed when he swallowed. She really shouldn’t be getting turned on watching someone eat but what do you know, there was that pleasant heat curling in her belly.

  When he finished, she took the bowl from him and he sat back on the couch. For the first time tonight, the lost and confused look was gone from his eyes. Now those baby blues were clear and focused and she was thankful for Giovanni’s culinary talents. The Gabe she knew was back.

  He took another look around the room before finally speaking. “So, this really isn’t a dream?”

  She wanted to laugh, thinking back to how fiercely she had held on to her coma theory when she first came here. Anything sounded more rational than the fact that vampires actually existed.

  “It’s all real, I’m afraid.”

  He nodded his head but she wasn’t sure if it was just from habit or if he really understood. Damn it all to hell, why did she have to get him involved in all of this? He probably would have been happy to have spent the rest of his life thinking she was dead and never knowing about this other part of the world.

  “So is this where you’ve been since you…died.”

  “Yes, I was brought here after I was changed.”

  “Changed into a vampire, you mean?”

  The way he said vampire gave her pause. It wasn’t that he seemed disbelieving of what she was, it sounded almost like he was annoyed by it. She thought it was an odd reaction but then again, was there really a normal way to react to the news? They were both in uncharted territory here and she now understood exactly how Mary had felt when they had first met.

  Cordelia took a page from Mary’s book and decided to answer Gabe’s questions as directly as possible.

  “We don’t call ourselves vampires, we’re Shadow Walkers. But to answer your question, yes, after I was changed into a Shadow Walker,” she replied, flashing her fangs as she smiled. He stared at her pearly whites for a moment before going back to staring off into space. The urge to reach out for his thoughts flared up again but she slammed it down hard. She didn’t care if it was natural for a Shadow Walker, her and mind control were done professionally.

  “How did it happen?”

  Good, he was asking questions, which meant she could focus on answering instead of doing a thought-ectomy.

  “Do you remember the last day I was at work and how Sampson was hassling me? Well, he took it a step further. He came up to me in the parking lot after work. He was pissed and things got heated and he ended up pushing me. I fell on a piece of rebar and it went through my chest. He left me there to die.”

  Gabe’s eyes filled with such fury that she found herself leaning away from him on instinct. “That motherfucker! I swear when I see him again, I’m going to flay every last piece of skin off of his body!”

  She couldn’t help but chuckle. “You and Nicky will get along.”

  Gabe’s eyes narrowed at that. “Who’s Nicky?”

  “Nicky found me when I was dying and changed me into a Shadow Walker.”

  She watched several emotions flick across Gabe’s face as if he was conflicted about something. “Does that mean you’re her vampire bride?”

  She laughed at the idea. “First of all, Nicky is a male and, second, he’s like a father to me. Besides, a romantic relationship just wouldn’t work between us. Nicky isn’t…well, let’s just say he isn’t my type.”

  “Yeah, he’s definitely not your type,” Gabe mumbled under his breath. “This Nicky, he’s been treating you right?”

  “Of course,” she said. “Nicky and everyone else here has been amazing. They’ve become my family.”

  Gabe just nodded and Cordelia heard the faint wail of a warning siren go off in her brain. These weren’t innocent questions. He was searching for something, his questions leading as he looked for clues to the puzzle he was trying to solve.

  “That phone that you used before, does it dial out? Can you make calls to outside lines?”

  “Yes,” she said cautiously. The siren was getting louder and she felt like she was being led into some kind of trap.

  “Were you always a selfish bitch or did that happen when you became a Shadow Walker?”

  The words were like a slap in the face and she sat back, staring at him with her mouth hanging open in shock. His face was like stone; his brows low over dark eyes and his mouth was a white line of anger. For the first time since she met him, she felt afraid in his presence. She had done something to set him off but she had no idea what it could have been or how to fix it.

  “I thought you were fucking dead!” he spat at her. “How the hell could you do that to me? One phone call, that’s all it would have taken. Just one call to tell me you were really okay. Instead you spend your time going out partying with your new family without giving a shit about anyone else.”

  He sprung up from the couch and began to stalk around the coffee table, pacing like a caged animal. She stayed still, afraid of what would happen if she moved or spoke, not wanting to set him off more than she had already. But he was far from done and he pierced her with angry, accusing eyes.

  “It’s been two weeks, Cordy, two weeks of thinking you were dead. Do you know what that was like? I couldn’t stop thinking about you, about all the things I should have told you, about what I could have done differently so you didn’t die. Hell, I didn’t even know how you died because you didn’t care enough about anyone to make up a good story.”

  He laughed bitterly before pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I was going out of my fucking mind. I stopped going to work, I stopped eating. All I was doing was drinking myself into a stupor every night. And all that time, you were here, enjoying your new life and not giving a shit about the people you left behind.”

  His pain was palpable and she didn’t know if it was because she had his blood inside her or because it was so deep, it would be impossible for anyone, human or Shadow Walker, not to feel it.

&n
bsp; She would never have thought that he would react to her death like this. Of course, sadness was expected, but the grief Gabe was describing was profound. She had no idea he could feel that deeply about someone like her.

  She didn’t know what to say or do to help him. She felt like she was two inches tall as he glared down at her with daggers in his eyes. She had made a mess of everything tonight. She had been crap at being human and she was crap at being a Shadow Walker.

  “I’m so s-s-sorry,” she gasped, before her voice caught on a sob. She tried to clamp down on the tears but they burst forth, streaming down her cheeks as she took shaky breaths.

  “Oh shit Cordy, don’t cry,” Gabe said, the anger evaporating from him instantly.

  “No, don’t stop,” she said between sobs. “I’m not trying to manipulate you. I just can’t help the crying. Go on, keep yelling at me, I deserve it.”

  “I can’t yell at someone who is crying.”

  “See? I am a selfish bitch. You deserve to yell at me,” she wailed, snuffling her nose and wincing at the unattractive noise. God, she was a mess.

  “I don’t want to yell anymore. I got it out of my system,” he said, handing her the napkin that Olivia had brought with the soup. He sat next to her as she wiped her tears away. “It’s just…please don’t ever do that to me again. I don’t think I can handle it.”

  “I promise I won’t,” she told him, sniffling a bit, but the tears had finally stopped. “I just wasn’t thinking before, everything was changing so fast, I guess I got caught up in it. I am so sorry for hurting you.”

  “I think I’m over the hurt part. Now I’m just relieved that you’re alive.”

  “Technically I’m undead.”

  “Whatever you call it, I’m just glad you’re here.”

  He leaned forward and pulled her into an embrace, squeezing her tight as if he needed to confirm that she was really here. She buried her nose in his shoulder, inhaling his scent. The fresh sawdust and pine mingled with a darker scent, one that caused her breath to hitch in her throat.

  She turned her head into the crook of his neck and she saw the twin puncture marks, pink flesh that was nearly healed. She could smell her own scent emanating from the marks, the unique signature that marked him as hers. The damage to the skin would be gone by tomorrow morning but her scent would stay on him, telling other Shadow Walkers whom he belonged to now.

  Knowing that in her world, he was hers had her pulse quickening and a sudden heat bloomed between her legs. She had the urge to trace the tip of her tongue over the marks, to remind herself that the blood that flowed through those veins was all hers. She could taste it any time she wanted, drink as much as she wanted because it belonged to her.

  The shifting in her mouth as her fangs elongated made her realize where her thoughts were leading. She was shocked at herself for turning Gabe into an object she owned. An object she wanted to use for her own enjoyment.

  Except she wasn’t like that. She wasn’t a user; it wasn’t in her nature. At least not in her human nature but her Shadow Walker nature was completely new to her. New and untested.

  She became acutely aware of the fact that she was alone with Gabe and if she sunk her teeth in him, there was no one around to pull her off him this time. She could drain him dry on accident.

  She quickly extracted herself from Gabe’s arms, needing physical space between them. He seemed reluctant to let her go and though she felt the same, she didn’t want to risk losing control. He settled back into the couch and she leaned back on the coffee table, her eyes darting around the room, focusing on anything but him. She didn’t want to be staring at him as if he was a delectable piece of meat.

  “So do you spend all your nights fighting in alleys?”

  “No, definitely not. I’m hoping that was a one-time-only occurrence. It was actually my first night out and I’m not sure if I want to do it again. I was crazy to have let Mary talk me into going out tonight.”

  “If she hadn’t, I wouldn’t have found you.”

  His simple statement warmed her and she smiled brightly. “That’s true.”

  He smiled back and they stared at each other for a beat before she broke eye contact. There were too many conflicting feelings inside her and she needed to keep herself focused on neutral subjects. Gazing into his baby blues definitely wasn’t a neutral subject.

  Gabe seemed to take the cue from her and changed the subject. “So what happens now?”

  “I’m not exactly familiar with the protocol for this sort of situation. I guess I’ll tell Nicky what happened and see what he thinks should be done.”

  “Do you think we will still be able to see each other?”

  “Of course,” she said a bit too quickly and dropped her eyes to her lap. “I mean, if you want to that is.”

  “No question.”

  She looked at him to check that she heard him right and was pulled right back into those eyes. It was as if her attraction to him was magnified a million times when she looked into them. She saw nothing but the truth there and her heart warmed with the knowledge that he still wanted to know her.

  “You are so different now,” he said, his voice filled with awe.

  She brushed her hand over her hair self consciously. “Another perk of being a Shadow Walker. You get a bit of a makeover.”

  “No, it’s not the physical changes. There’s this contentment inside you, like you’ve found your happiness. I like it.”

  She could feel heat rise in her cheeks at his words. There was something surreal that it was his blood that was rising to the surface of her skin. She reached up to fiddle with her necklace nervously and the movement attracted Gabe’s attention and his eyes drift lower.

  She glanced down to see if it was the blood but all that was visible was her cleavage peeking out between the lapels of the jacket. She looked back to Gabe, who was shifting on the couch, spreading his legs apart slightly. His tongue darted out and traced across his bottom lip and her skin heated at the movement. She longed to reach out and let her own tongue touch his lips.

  Instead, she took a deep breath to steady herself, trying valiantly to calm her desire. The dark scent of arousal tickled her nose and she realized it wasn’t coming from her. She leaned closer to him and the scent grew stronger. It was definitely coming from Gabe. Maybe going for a kiss was the right move after all. At the thought of kissing him, her body responded on instinct and her fangs poked past her lips. She jumped back from Gabe in a panic, covering her mouth with a hand.

  Damn it, was she always going to want to feed when she was turned on. That was really going to put a damper on her love life if it was true.

  “It’s okay,” he said, moving closer to her. “They don’t look bad at all. They look kinda sexy.”

  Arousal reared up inside her at his words. She had never been called sexy before and she had never imagined Gabe would be the one saying it to her. She wanted to rip his shirt off and taste every inch of his well-muscled chest. And then sink her teeth in every one of those inches.

  “There she is, our very own Xena, Warrior Princess.”

  Cordelia jumped up as Demetri came into the room followed by Mary. She felt like she had been caught doing something illicit which was ridiculous. Nothing even PG-13 had happened between them. Unfortunately.

  “Everyone in the club was talking about you. They think you’re a total badass. You’re going to go down as a legend,” Demetri said animatedly, holding his hand up for a high five. She obliged him, shaking her head at his enthusiasm. She had never been called a badass before. Guess things really were changing.

  Demetri continued, his eyes shining with excitement. “Katerina said it was one of the best challenges she has ever witnessed. Which is saying something because she’s old so she’s seen a lot. She and Zeke are going to come over tomorrow night with a few other people. We’ll have a party to celebrate.”

  It seemed a little odd to be celebrating her beating the crap out of someone else but cons
idering the night she had so far, it wasn’t even close to the strangest thing to happen.

  “Nicky wants us to meet with him in his study,” Mary interrupted, much less excited than Demetri. “He said you can bring your boy along.”

  Mary’s grim expression had her stomach twisting in knots. God, she hoped Nicky wasn’t angry with her for what happened tonight. Or worse, that he was disappointed in her. Damn. This whole sire and fledgling dynamic was a hell of a mind trip.

  Cordelia could feel the desperation rising up inside. If Nicky was disappointed in her, how was she going to make him proud of her again? She had no idea how she would fix it and what would happen to her if she never could. Would he cast her out? She would be completely alone in the world.

  “Hey, sweetheart, don’t get yourself excited,” Mary said, obviously picking up the distress she was broadcasting. She put a hand on her cheek, patting it reassuringly. “Nicky won’t be mad at you, I promise. Everything is going to be fine.”

  Cordelia nodded, taking a deep breath to calm her racing heart. Mary knew Nicky better than she did and Mary wouldn’t lie to her.

  “Thank you,” she said and threw her arms around Mary, pressing a kiss to her cheek. She let go of Mary and turned back to Gabe, ready to direct him to the study and she was surprised to find him glaring daggers at Mary.

  She was about to ask him what was going on but the look quickly vanished from his face and he was back to smiling at her.

  “Lead the way,” he said with a wave of his hand.

  There would be time later to discuss what that was all about. Right now she had to go see what Nicky wanted with all of them.

  ***

  Gabe followed closely behind Cordelia as the group made their way through the front hall and headed towards the rear of the house. He felt like he was watching himself from above, as if his mind had separated from his body. It was as if he had been sucker punched and when he came to; the entire world had been changed except he was the only one who noticed.

  Vampires were real. They called themselves Shadow Walkers. They went to clubs. They drove cars. They had homes. They had lesbian girlfriends.