Loaded

by Joanna Wayne

  Jeremiah propped his elbows on the table and buried his head in his hands for long seconds before looking up and meeting her gaze. "If you ever love someone, Shelly, don't ever betray them."

  "Betrayal must be difficult to forgive," she offered, thinking of how many times her mother had been betrayed, most of all by Shelly's father who'd simply disappeared when he'd found out she was pregnant; he'd never come back into their lives. His betrayal had haunted Shelly most of her life—until she'd finally hardened her heart against it and moved on.

  "I don't know how difficult it is to forgive someone else, but it's dang near impossible to forgive yourself."

  He'd been there. She saw in the heartrending depths of his eyes. He'd betrayed Conine at some point and then she'd died and left him to live with the loss, and the pain of what he'd done. She reached across the table and laid her hands on his. He jerked his away as if the touch confirmed his vulnerability.

  Betrayal was a death sentence to a relationship. No matter how felt about Matt, there was nowhere for them to go. She was undercover CIA—in his home and in his life under false pretenses. He'd taken her under his wing and offered protection.

  Her job was to destroy him and his family. There was no greater betrayal than that.

  * * *

  The entire family, except for Zach and his new wife, were on hand for Friday night family dinner at the big house. Shelly had been amazed that the mood at the table barely reflected the problems they were dealing with. Shelly knew that was due to a major effort by everyone involved not to pull the others down.

  It was also helped by everyone's excitement over a phone call from Zach and Kali saying they had cut their honeymoon short by a few days and that they'd be home tomorrow. David and Derrick had been especially thrilled over the announcement, because they'd been promised surprises from the returning couple.

  At eight years of age, the twins had no conception that there could be problems that the adults in their lives couldn't handle. Shelly was pretty sure that Langston's teenage daughter Gina was also unaware of what they were up against. His wife, Trish, however, was the one exception. Anxiety haunted her dark eyes.

  "Whose turn is it to do cleanup chores?" Bart asked after they'd lingered over coffee and dessert until long past the time Lenora had told Juanita to take the rest of the night off.

  "I'll take care of it," Shelly offered. No sacrifice on her part; she'd feel much more comfortable alone in the kitchen than sitting as the lone traitor in the midst of the family. She'd expected a phone call from Brady all afternoon telling her to make some reasonable excuse for leaving and to get the hell out of Dodge.

  He hadn't called. Nor had she. Leaving would be the same as giving up, and she wasn't ready to do that. Her mind was still wrapped around the idea that someone was framing them. But who had the capacity to do it and who hated them that much? And why? Without motivation, she had no argument to take to Brady.

  "I'll help," Jaime said.

  Matt stood from his seat at the opposite end of the table from Shelly and Jaime and started gathering the tableware. "What, no date on a Friday night?"

  "As a matter of fact, I don't have a date tonight."

  "Why didn't someone tell me the world was coming to an end?" Bart teased, then grimaced, as he no doubt realized how close he'd come to a truth that had nothing to do with Jaime.

  "But I have two dates tomorrow, if that eases your mind."

  "Better rest up for that," Matt said. "I'll help Shelly with cleanup."

  Shelly's heart beat erratically at the prospect of being alone with Matt. She'd struggled all through dinner to keep her eyes from locking with his, had been afraid that he'd see the desire burning inside her. Afraid that he'd realize how hard she was falling for him.

  She wanted nothing more than to go back to his house with him tonight and throw herself into his arms. She hungered for his kiss. Ached to press her body against his, to explore all the planes and angles of his hard body.

  She wanted to make love with him, wanted it so desperately that she could feel the molten juices of desire pooling in the core of her being. But she couldn't, as long as the lies about her identity stood between them.

  Everyone helped clear the table, but then wandered away, leaving only Matt and Shelly and a need that crushed into her chest with such force she had to hold onto the counter for a few seconds to get her bearings.

  "I'll rinse and load the dishwasher," she said, knowing she needed to get busy and stay that way every second they were together. "You can put the leftovers away."

  "Is that your best offer?"

  "Try only offer, cowboy."

  "Then I guess I'd better grab it." He reached around her for the leftover peas. "You were brave to drive my grandfather into Houston today."

  "It went well. We had lunch and he talked a bit. And I had coffee with Melvin while Jeremiah was in the meeting with you."

  "How did that go?"

  "A little strained."

  "He's under the gun with the rest of us with this CIA business. But no reason to bother you with any of this. Did you find a dress to wear tomorrow night?"

  "I did."

  A very sexy and elegant dress that would make her feel like a princess instead of the rat she felt like now. She slid a plate under the faucet at a bad angle and water splashed onto the front of her shirt. A few drops made it all the way to her face.

  Matt picked up a dishtowel and blotted the drops from her cheek. Their gazes met for a second and her heart started beating so loudly she was certain he must hear it.

  The towel dropped from his fingers and he slid both hands behind her head, his thumbs trailing her earlobes. "I'm trying to keep my promise," he whispered, his tone teasing though his voice was hoarse with emotion. "But I'm going crazy waiting on you to ask for a kiss."

  That made two of them.

  "Ouuu! Mushy stuff," David squealed as he rushed to the counter and grabbed a peanut-butter cookie from the few left on the serving plate.

  "Kissy, kissy," Derrick chimed in, running right behind him to grab the last of the treats, followed by Blackie who merely barked his disapproval.

  Shelly sucked in a shaky breath and leaned away from Matt to put the plate into the dishwasher. One more second and she might have been in Mart's arms, in spite of her good intentions.

  She couldn't keep flirting with temptation and expect nothing to happen. Yet she couldn't leave as long as there was a chance she could clear him and his family. Damned if she did. More damned if she didn't.

  Bart joined them in the kitchen just as she placed the last spoon on the dishwasher rack. He'd come to refill his coffee mug, but since the pot was empty, he decided on a beer. He offered them both one as well. Shelly took hers and escaped out the back door for a long walk, leaving the brothers to discuss whatever was on their minds.

  Leaving her to wish she really were Shelly Lane, physical therapist, free to ask Matt for that kiss.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Lenora watched as Billy Mack got out of his new red pickup and sauntered toward the front porch of the big house. She wasn't surprised to see him, even though twilight was about to fade to full darkness.

  She rearranged her skirt, but kept her right foot tucked beneath it. She was too weary to stand and welcome him like a legitimate guest. Not that he was one. During the years since their respective spouses had died, they'd depended on each other too much to stand on ceremony. Besides, Chideaux was nestled comfortably in her lap.

  "Using Kali's dog to practice up for the new grandbaby?" he teased as he dropped onto the swing beside her.

  "I don't need practice. My arms have been ready for another grandchild ever since David and Derrick grew too big for me to hold and cuddle. But I think Chideaux misses Kali and Zach."

  "As do you," he said. "And don't go denying you aren't ready for your youngest son to come home."

  "More than ready. Did you hear that he called today? They're flying in late tomorrow. They'll be here
for Sunday brunch. I'm making all his favorite breakfast foods, a homecoming celebration of sorts."

  "Glad to see you're hanging in there so well with the CIA problems kicking at you like a mad dog."

  "I'm not," she admitted. "I'm just doing a good job of pretending. I have to think this too will pass. I know none of my sons have done anything wrong. They're too much like their dad."

  "Yep. Good genes from you and Randolph. How could they miss?"

  "And there is one bright spot, other than that we'll soon have a little one to spoil rotten."

  "Let's hear it. I could use some good news."

  "You were right. Matt and Shelly Lane have really hit it off."

  Billy Mack's eyebrows arched. "Did he tell you that?"

  "He didn't have to. I see it in their eyes when they're together."

  "Don't push too much. You know how scared Matt's always been of the L word."

  "Only because he's never been in love before. The real thing doesn't come around that often."

  "Shhh." She nodded toward the worn path that circled the house. 'There's Shelly. I was hoping she was with Matt, but she must have gone for a walk alone."

  "Walking instead of spooning. I know that disappoints you."

  "You're showing your age, Billy Mack. Young people don't spoon anymore, at least not the way you meant it."

  "They still do it. They just call it something different."

  Shelly joined them on the porch and Billy Mack jumped up to give her his seat.

  "You stay right where you are," she said. "I'll take the top step so that I can stretch out." Instead, she leaned against the support post and hugged her knees to her chest.

  "I don't know if I thanked you properly for driving Jeremiah into town today," Lenora said. "I know that's above and beyond your job description and you're not even officially on duty yet."

  "I didn't mind. It gave us a chance to talk. I think he may be warming up to me."

  "I'm sure he is. Melvin said the two of you had coffee as well."

  "We did."

  "He's a nice guy. We all lucked out when Jeremiah brought him into the business and into the family."

  Billy Mack nodded in agreement. "For a cantankerous old fart, he has a lot of friends. Melvin was the son of somebody from his past."

  "Did Jeremiah talk much about our problems with the CIA?" Lenora asked.

  "Some. Mostly he talked about his late wife. He was in a very melancholy mood."

  Lenora leaned back and let her mind unleash old memories. "Corrine was the love of his life."

  "He said it was love at first sight."

  "I'm sure it was, though you wouldn't have always known that by the way he bellowed when things didn't go his way. But we saw a different side of him when she was diagnosed with cancer."

  "It's never easy for a man to watch the woman he loves suffer," Billy Mack said. "But Jeremiah took it as hard as any man I've ever seen. I remember that his wife had a private nurse who lived here in the big house. Jeremiah fired her a month before Corrine died, said he wanted to take care of his wife himself. He hardly left her side after that."

  "You remember that better than I do," Lenora admitted.

  "You'd been storked, and you already had three little ones to care for."

  "You have a good memory."

  "Yep. Remember things that happened decades ago. Starting to have trouble with what happened yesterday. I remember that nurse was a looker, though. What was her name? Helen, Ellen, Louella, something like that. Anyway, she was mighty riled when Jeremiah up and fired her."

  "Jeremiah did right by Conine and that's all that matters. Love that goes against the odds. It's the heritage of Jack's Bluff."

  "And here we go again," Billy Mack said. He reached over and patted Lenora's hand. "I've heard the legend of Jack's Bluff before and I hear a beer in the kitchen calling my name."

  Shelly stretched her legs in front of her and toed her way out of her tennis shoes as if she planned to sit awhile. "Matt mentioned there was a story behind the ranch's name, and he said you told it better than anyone."

  "Does that mean you want to hear it?"

  "I'd love to."

  * * *

  A dozen fireflies danced in the growing darkness and the shrill chorus of a thousand tree frogs wafted through the night air. Shelly stared at Lenora and imagined her sitting in that same swing on hundreds of nights like this while her children grew up around her.

  Such roots, a continuance that spanned generations. Tonight their lives were full of anxiety and chaos, and still the family had all gathered at the big house like it was the center of their universe. But what would happen when the arrest warrant was issued and at least one of them was handcuffed and carried off to jail?

  The thought pulled at her heart like ribbons of steel. Still, she wanted to hear Lenora's story.

  "I'll give you the short version," Lenora said, "or we'll never get to bed tonight. Jeremiah's great-grandfather, Calvin Collingsworth, was a commoner in England who fell in love with a woman betrothed to royalty."

  Lenora slowed the movement of the swing and smiled. "Betrothed, don't you love that word? It has such a romantic flavor. Nonetheless, the betrothal was not a match made in heaven as the woman fell madly in love with Calvin."

  "Sounds like a fairy tale. No wonder you love telling it."

  "All except this part where the fairy tale lovers got caught and Calvin went to prison. I'm not sure what happened to his beloved at that point, but when Calvin broke out of prison a few months later, he went back for her and they set sail for America."

  "What year was that?" Shelly asked, firmly caught up in the story.

  "Eighteen ninety. When ships were not the luxury cruisers they are today. They survived the storm-tossed crossing and landed penniless in the land of opportunity. Calvin decided to make his luck at the gambling tables and won a ranch while playing poker one night in a rough-and-tumble Mississippi River town. He won on a bluff, holding just a pair of Jacks."

  "Thus, Jack's Bluff," Shelly said. "Luck was definitely a lady to him."

  "Except the ranch wasn't what it is today. It was just a few acres of uncleared land. Most of his neighbors were raising cotton, but Calvin began raising cattle and buying up every scrap of adjoining land that he could. Then in 1920, oil was discovered on the land, and the rest is history. But it's not the oil that makes Jack's Bluff magical. It was that Calvin followed his heart. Just like everyone in the family has from that day to this. Like I did, when I married Randolph."

  Lenora's voiced choked on the last sentence, the first indication of how difficult things were for her right now.

  "I can see how true love can make a real difference in a person's life," Shelly said, her own feelings for Matt riding much too close to the surface.

  "It makes all the difference, Shelly. When you find it, fight for it. Never let it go."

  That wasn't an option for Shelly, not now, not even if Matt felt the same way about her as she did about him. But she was going to fight to the bitter end to see that justice was done, even though she was convinced it meant switching sides in the middle of the battle.

  Not that she didn't love the agency and all that it stood for. She did. But this time they were wrong.

  Chideaux woke up and started to wiggle. Lenora set him on the porch. He stretched and wandered over to Shelly.

  Lenora slowed the creaking swing. "Care to join me in the kitchen for a cup of hot tea?"

  "Thanks, but I have a few personal things to take care of in my room." Things like trying to make sense of the few facts she possessed, so that she had at least a chance of convincing Brady Owens to hold off on pressing formal charges. It was a long shot at best.

  Sort of like winning a ranch with nothing but a pair of Jacks.

  * * *

  "Melvin Rogers was hired on at the management level, even though he'd had no higher level management experience."

  "That's interesting," Shelly said, making notes as she l
istened to Maddie Gatlin's research findings. "But not surprising, now that I've been around the Collingsworths. I can see them going out on a limb and giving a friend's son a chance, if they thought he had potential."

  "And he was heavy on potential. A court-ordered psychiatry report when he was thirteen said his intelligence was near genius level. But then it also said he had aggressive tendencies."

  "What prompted the court order?"

  "Melvin made threats against some boys in his seventh-grade class."

  "What kind of threats?"

  "He told them he was going to blow up their houses while they were asleep. The court decided it was an idle threat and let him off, as long as he attended counseling sessions for three months."

  "What other problems has he had?"

  "That's all the bad I could find. On the positive side, he graduated from UT with a double degree in computer science and mathematics."

  "So he finally put his intelligence to work. Maybe that's why Jeremiah decided he had potential."

  Shelly had been on the phone with Maddie for the past half hour. Maddie had dug up everything she could find on Melvin, but there was nothing to suggest he had reason to frame the Collingsworths.

  On the contrary, he had everything to gain by their continued success. He was a vice-president and treated like family. It didn't get much better than that.

  "I don't know what you're trying to prove, Shelly, but I think you're hitting a dead end on the Melvin Rogers track."

  "You could be right."

  "I heard the case was all but closed anyway, that they already have enough evidence to arrest the four Collingsworth brothers."

  The air rushed from Shelly's lungs, leaving a horrid burning sensation in her throat. "Are you sure?"

  "I heard it from Cates. He's usually pretty reliable."

  "But you heard they were arresting all four brothers?"

  "That's the story I got."

  This was not the development Shelly wanted to hear. "I'll try to get Brady. I need to know exactly what's going on."

  "I suspect he's ready to pull you and Ben Hartmann out of there. Oh, but there was one other thing. You asked about Melvin's parents."