Ultimate Courage

by Piper J. Drake

  “I don’t know if it’s the best.” The words fell out of her mouth, and she grimaced at how bitter they sounded.

  “He’s got his issues to work through, and they’re a little closer to the surface around you,” Gary agreed. “But he’d have kept trying to bury them to be the perfect father for Boom if you hadn’t come along. He doesn’t need to be perfect around you. And he definitely doesn’t need to be a father figure.”

  Greg snickered.

  Finally, Elisa had to crack a smile. “You two are incorrigible with the innuendoes.”

  “Who, us?” Greg spread his free hand wide across his chest in mock affront. “If you catch what we’re throwing around, your mind went there, too.”

  Elisa shook her head. With everything so serious, she’d been wound up so tightly she’d thought she’d snap. Being here with Gary and Greg, going on about completely inappropriate things, seemed silly.

  And a huge relief.

  She looked down at the mug. When was a person supposed to look at tea leaves for the answers, before or after drinking the tea? “Alex is trying to build a life for himself and Boom. He doesn’t need all the complications I’ve got following me around.”

  “He needs you. And he’s willing to fight for you.” Gary raised his mug in the direction of the parking lot. “Without you, he wouldn’t have faced his PTSD. He’d have tried to tough it out and pretend it wasn’t getting worse. He’d have become a hermit and never gone out, eventually would’ve even stopped coming here.”

  “And that would’ve been a travesty,” Greg interjected solemnly.

  “I’m not helping him get better.” Elisa wondered if he’d ever supervise a parent night again. Some of the parents might request he not do so. And even if there wasn’t resistance from the parents, he might choose not to.

  “You could, once you learned what he needs from you to help him relax.” Gary glanced past her to Greg and gave his partner a warm smile. “Well, you’ve probably made progress in that direction, too, so let’s say you can learn what you can do around other people. And you also made him open up. Once he did, he could admit he needed Souze. Which is a huge step in the right direction.”

  “He already had Souze.” Elisa wasn’t sure if Souze being at Hope’s Crossing Kennels was the same as Alex directly claiming Souze as his dog, but she thought it was probably just a formality. “He’s a great dog.”

  Gary nodded. “True. And all of the men at Hope’s Crossing tend to train the best dogs and send them out in the world to partner the people who put their lives on the line every day. They don’t keep those dogs for themselves. Without you here, Alex might not recognize how much Souze helps him. I noticed he brought Souze tonight, and Alex would never have done the right thing for himself in the past. He’d have come up with some sort of reasoning for why he could make do on his own.”

  “He’s too selfless.” She shook her head.

  “And so are you.” Greg reached out and tapped her on the nose.

  She scrunched up her face. “Not really. I just stayed. I’ve been taking up all of your generosity.”

  She’d wanted more time to get to know Alex, explore what was between them. And then she’d become attached to Souze and to Boom and to all these people who were a part of the mini-world with Hope’s Crossing Kennels at the epicenter. In a very short span of time, she’d come to love it here.

  Gary grunted. “True. You stayed. And in my opinion, it was the best decision you could’ve made for you or for Alex.”

  “And we’ve definitely enjoyed you being here,” Greg added, leaning in to bump his shoulder against hers.

  It was impossible to remain hopeless around these two. They were such quiet wells of strength and encouragement. Well, maybe not quiet. “Thank you, both. I don’t know what any of us would do without you two.”

  “I’m so glad you feel better, dear.” Greg glanced at Gary. “So I have one thing I’ve been dying to know.”

  Elisa sipped her tea. “Hmm?”

  “Alex. He’s good, isn’t he? We’ll never know, but you could give us a hint.”

  Elisa’s face suddenly burned with embarrassment. Sophie and Lyn could’ve asked her the very same question. Gary and Greg both seemed to know about her and Alex, though, and she wondered if it was obvious to everyone. “No kiss and tell.”

  Gary laughed. “Oh, the look on your face is enough. And there was definitely more than kissing. Good for you, girl. And enjoy.”

  * * *

  About an hour later, Alex knocked on her door. She answered in her sleep tee and sweats, twisting the hem of the tee as she did.

  His brows had been drawn together when the door opened, but his expression cleared when he looked at her tee. “So. How’s my timing?”

  She sighed. “Impeccable. I was just getting this on when you knocked.”

  He chuckled. The sound of it came from deep in his torso, rolling up and out and sending shivers through her. It wasn’t necessarily filled with mirth, but it was a sound that lifted her up, excited her.

  He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “I have a question. You can absolutely say no. I won’t be mad.”

  She looked up at him. He was different tonight, darker. An air of the earlier potential for violence still clung to him. Something fluttered low in her belly, but it wasn’t fear. It was magnetic, exciting.

  “Can I be with you tonight? All night?” There was raw need in his voice.

  Instinctively she wanted to say yes, but he’d given her the choice, and she took the moment to think it through. “What about Boom?”

  “She’s sleeping over at a friend’s tonight. She won’t know I didn’t go home.”

  And it might be better that way regardless, she realized. He was on edge. His temper was close to the surface, and she sensed he was struggling with it.

  The question was whether she could handle being with him like this, tense with pent-up aggression.

  Heat spread through her, and her nipples tightened. “Yes. Stay.”

  His clenched and unclenched his fists. “I want to be inside you.”

  It was a warning.

  She crossed the distance between them, rested her hands against the flat planes of his chest, and rose up on her toes to kiss his jaw. “I want you inside me.”

  He set his hands on her hips and took a kiss from her, hungry and primal. He fed from her mouth, teased with his tongue, pressed hard until their teeth clashed ever so slightly before he backed off again, making her reach for him.

  “I can’t get enough of you, Elisa.” He growled. “Be sure.”

  She wanted this, needed it after the stress of the evening. She’d crouched in the back room with the kids and listened to him stand up for her, protect her. And now here he was and they were alone and she could give herself up to him in every way.

  She wanted it, and she trembled in anticipation. “I’m sure.”

  He walked her backward until the backs of her legs hit the bed. Stepping away from her, he yanked off his tee shirt and shucked the rest of his clothing, then reached for hers. In moments, she stood naked in front of him.

  They left the lights on. His dark gaze took in every detail of her body, starting from her feet and rising. As his gaze lingered on her hips, then again on her breasts, her breath caught and her nipples tightened. He finally made eye contact and it burned into her. “You’re beautiful.”

  He pulled her to him for another dizzying kiss, and when he tore his mouth from hers, she gasped for air. His hands gripped her shoulders, slid down her back, grasped her behind, and pulled her into his hips as he ground against her. The length of his erection was hard and ready between them, and she couldn’t resist wrapping her fingers around the rigid length of him. He was huge, and she should’ve been afraid, but instead she was turned on.

  He growled. “Too soon.”

  He took her hands off him and set his own on her hips, turning her to face the bed. With a palm between her shoulder blades and his other
hand on her hip, he coaxed her into bending over, way over, until her hips were high and her face and shoulders were cushioned by the mattress. His hand moved from her hip to stroke her behind in soothing circles for long seconds until she steadied. Then he squeezed.

  A low moan escaped her, and she turned her face into the blankets, trying to muffle the sound.

  The hand on her behind slipped down, and his fingertips brushed over her, teasing her labia, then pressed at her inner thigh, encouraging her to widen her stance. She did, for him.

  “I’ve been wanting to taste you,” he rumbled from behind her. His breath scorched her skin as he kneeled low. And he did taste.

  He teased her with long licks as he held her in place. His wicked tongue darted between her folds, almost reaching her but not quite. Then his free hand was pushing on the inside of her thigh again, and she widened her stance even further. His fingers held her folds open for him, and he blew a hot puff of air against her.

  She groaned. His chuckle rolled over her again, and she shivered with it this time.

  He tasted deeper this time, exploring her folds with his tongue and darting farther into her entrance until she was whimpering into the blankets.

  He was taking over her, seducing her body in ways she’d never thought possible, building a need inside of her stronger and more desperate than she’d ever experienced. She wanted, wanted him inside her.

  “I’m rushing.” His voice was tinged with guilt. “I need to be inside you.”

  Turning her head, she panted. “If you don’t hurry, I am going to be so mad at you.”

  His hands gripped her behind, hard. She groaned and turned her face back into the blankets. His hands left her for a moment, but the heat of him was still close behind her. She heard the tearing sound of foil as he unwrapped a condom and rolled it on. Then the tip of him was nudging at her entrance. She couldn’t wait. She pressed her hips back toward him as she arched, and he slid into her hard and fast.

  “Alex!” His name burst from her as he filled her, stretching her.

  He froze. “Does it hurt?”

  She let out a groan. “You’re so thick, big. I missed you.”

  An approving sound, full of male arrogance. “You like me inside you.”

  He rocked his hips against her, pressing his cock deeper inside her.

  She whispered the word. “Yes.”

  “Good.” He set his hands on her hips and withdrew almost all the way before he pressed deep inside her again, stretching her even further. He did it one more time before he picked up the pace.

  He shifted his hands until one hand held her shoulder and the other pressed the base of her spine. The added pressure encouraged her to arch her back and bend into the bed while he drove into her over and over. She fisted the blankets under her as the pleasure built and she gave herself over to the sensation, to him. Every stroke inside her pressed a moan out of her until she was alternating between moans and hoarse whimpers as she asked him to go harder.

  His hands tightened on her again, and he obliged. His hips pounded into hers as he drove inside her, hitting all the right spots on the way in and on the only slightly slower drawing out. Her stomach tightened as she approached the pinnacle of her pleasure, and she cried out as she fell over the edge and came.

  His voice mingled with hers as he continued for a split second longer before shuddering into his own release.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  You know, sleepovers are definitely more fun than I remember from childhood.” Elisa lay on her side with Alex pressed against the length of her back.

  His chuckle rumbled up from his chest and over her back, sending delicious shivers through her entire body. “I hope so.”

  “I’m glad you stayed.” She traced her finger down the inside of his arm, which she was currently using as a pillow.

  “I’m glad you said yes to me.” He shifted his hips against hers.

  She let out a happy sigh. “Do you feel better now, too?”

  He stilled against her back.

  Hurriedly she tried to clarify. “We were both on edge last night. I don’t mean…”

  “It’s okay.” His other arm came across her in a brief hug before he set his free hand on her waist. “Last night definitely brought out some of the darker parts of me.”

  And she was as attracted to those parts of him as the kinder parts he’d displayed when they’d first met. At no time had she felt threatened or coerced by him, and she wanted him to know that. But he might not believe her if she just said it. Instead, she snuggled closer to him and went for a different response. “I can listen, too, if you’d like. I want to get to know you better.”

  “I’ve been a couple of different people over the years.”

  “You’re still you,” she responded. “But I’d like to understand how you got to who you are now, if you’re willing to share.”

  He ran his hand over her hip, gently kneading as he progressed. For a moment, she wondered if he was trying to distract himself, because it was going to work if she didn’t push the discussion. But he started talking. “It was rough overseas on active duty. Our SEAL unit tended to move out to forward positions to secure locations before there was a base established in the area. We were under constant strain. It wasn’t a situation where a person could head out on a mission and return to a safe place at night to shower and get some sleep before going out again. We’d be out for days, even weeks at a time. And sleep was something you got while your teammates had the watch, but you were ready to jump into action at a moment’s notice.”

  She snuggled in closer, unsure what to say but wanting to listen and take in what he was sharing.

  “Thing is, we saw a lot of awful things.” He fell silent for a moment, struggling for words. And then he dropped a kiss on her shoulder. “There isn’t just one story; there’s dozens. There isn’t just one nightmare. And Forte, Cruz, and me…we all deal in our own ways. For me, it was a state of hyperawareness, of being constantly on edge.”

  “Did it get better when you came back?” She hoped it had.

  He huffed out a negative. “Uh-uh. I rushed home after each short deployment. I was married, and there was Serena to come home to. But at one point, I came home between missions to find divorce papers waiting for me. After that, I was looking forward to each new training, each new mission, because it was the easiest way to get through the time in between visitation with Serena. Then the call came. My ex-wife had been admitted to the hospital, literally as I was getting on a plane to come back to the States. She’d passed away before I even landed on home soil.”

  Elisa’s heart broke for Alex and for Serena. “I’m so sorry.”

  He squeezed her hip. “Don’t be. You weren’t there and I try not to be. My ex-wife was a long-time drug user. Not street drugs or anything obvious. But she managed to get a hold of all the prescription meds she could ever want while she was cheating on me with some doctor. He made sure she had all the hydrocodone, oxycodone, diazepam, or alprazolam she could want, and she popped them like candy, depending on what new thing she didn’t want to deal with on a particular day. She’d been hooked for years. When she came down with a cold, it advanced so fast into pneumonia no one knew what was happening until it was too late, and all the drugs she was self-dosing, thinking she’d make herself feel better, only made her condition worse. By the time her parents came to check on her and Boom…they called an ambulance right away, but the hospital couldn’t save her.”

  “Oh no.” Elisa didn’t think there was anything she could say. But she felt for him, for the awful situation.

  “After that, I didn’t care about anything but Serena. My wife’s parents wanted custody, made an argument about them being able to provide a more stable home environment, but I asked Serena what she wanted and she said she wanted to stay with me.” His tone had turned fierce.

  And she loved him for it, for how much he would fight the world for Serena.

  “They threatened to take me to co
urt, but their finances were already tied up in going after the doctor for providing my wife with all of those medications. I took advantage of their split attention and managed to keep custody of Serena.” Alex relaxed against her again, brushing his lips over her shoulder. “Forte invited me here. Said he’d set this place up to start over on home soil. Close enough to a couple major cities to get work if we didn’t want to get into training the dogs, but with enough privacy from the immediate community that we weren’t constantly fighting our old selves to blend into civilian life. It’s a steady income with health benefits for Serena and an actual house for her to grow up in.”

  “Hope’s Crossing is a nice place.” Simple statement, maybe. But exactly what she’d thought when she’d first come up the drive to return Boom’s glove. “It’s peaceful and active at the same time. There’s plenty to do for all of you and it’s not so quiet it drives you crazy.”

  “Exactly.” He squeezed her hip again before running his hand up and over her hip in lazy circles. “When each of us arrived, we were all sort of raw. But we started getting better at our own pace. I just—I had to pull myself together right away to talk to schools and teachers for Boom. I kept telling myself I could handle things, but crowded public places got worse for me, too frenetic. It was harder and harder to keep my temper under control.”

  “Like at the ER.” She turned in his arms and started to run her hand over his chest.

  He made a deep sound of appreciation in his chest and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Like at the ER. You coming in when you did actually helped me calm down. But my temper wasn’t the most dangerous part. That’s just hot air, and it doesn’t make friends. I try to keep it under control to make social life easier for Serena. I don’t particularly care if random strangers like me. The bigger issues come when I think I’m back overseas. The minute or two when I’m not sure where I am and I’m prepared to act as if I’m in a combat zone. I could come out of it amid a body count one of these days. And I can’t do that. I can’t.”