Covert Desires

by Sondae Bennett

  Berating herself every step of the way, Amber opened the fridge and took out two cans. Hope they liked diet, because that was all she had. She put them on the counter and opened the cupboard next to the fridge. Pure luck she’d gone grocery shopping yesterday. Those muffins would come in handy. Maybe if she fed them, she’d feel less guilty about dropping Danny cold.

  “Oh!” She started when she turned around and saw Danny standing directly behind her. The muffin case slipped out of her grip, but he caught it before it hit the ground. She hadn’t heard him approach at all.

  The heat of his body brushed against her as he leaned in and put the muffins on the counter behind her. Amber caught her breath, staring at his throat. What would he do if she leaned in and kissed him right there on that slight indent where his chest met his neck? She stopped herself before she could lean forward. This was not the way to prove disinterest.

  When he moved closer, her gaze shot to his. Heat shone from his eyes, warming her to her toes. She curled them into the rug beneath her feet to drive out the feeling. His hands caged her against the counter, surrounding her in his spicy male scent. She filled her lungs, suppressing the shudder of desire that jolted through her.

  He leaned closer, and her gaze shot to his lips. Perfect lips, quirked up in a grin. He was going to kiss her, and God help her, she was going to let him. Because when he surrounded her like this, logic disappeared. Her reasons for fighting didn’t seem quite as important as they had moments ago.

  He was a mere inch away. Any second, he would close the distance and capture her lips. She rested her hands against his chest, neither pulling nor pushing. Logic and desire warring within her.

  Something scraped the counter behind her, pulling her out of her musing.

  “Thanks for these,” he crooned, pulling away with the soda cans in his hands. “We’ll continue that later. When my brother isn’t listening from the other room.”

  “I’m not listening,” Ethan shouted, proving himself a liar.

  Her cheeks flamed in embarrassment. Twice in one morning. She was losing her cool. Danny might not know it yet, but he’d lost his one shot. Never again would she let him get that close to her. Because she’d just learned she couldn’t trust herself when he did.

  * * * *

  “Dude, pay attention,” Ethan demanded, jabbing Danny in the gut.

  “Ouch, your elbows are so bony.” He meant it as a joke, but the delivery was lacking.

  Amber was pulling away. He could feel it. That morning, she’d said she needed time, but now she wouldn’t even meet his eyes without serious manipulation. And every time their eyes would meet, she immediately averted hers. It was driving him insane.

  “What’s eating you?” Ethan asked, following his gaze to the kitchen doorway where Amber had retreated.

  “Just thinking.” His reasons to keep his feelings for Amber hidden from his family hadn’t changed.

  “About?” Ethan pressed.

  Danny turned toward him and assessed his brother. Truth was, he wanted to share his burden. Wanted them to help sort through the mess of the situation. To ask them about mating, what meeting one’s mate felt like. After all, who better to help him figure out his growing need to be around Amber, than his two mated brothers?

  But after what had happened that morning… The threat of pulling him off guard duty still echoed in his mind. Danny wasn’t sure he could trust them, and the risks were too great. They might very well use his emotions against him. To keep him away from her.

  “Danny, whatever’s bothering you–”

  “Drop it,” Danny demanded, putting the finishing touches on the door. As soon as they were done, Ethan would leave, allowing him to get to the bottom of whatever bothered Amber.

  Only, Ethan didn’t leave. He stood there with his arms crossed, staring while Danny tried to avoid his piercing gaze.

  “You stupid ass,” Ethan whispered after a long moment. “You’ve fallen for her, haven’t you?”

  Danny met Ethan’s stare, glare for glare.

  “How bad is it?”

  Frustration boiled up in Danny. His brother was so damn smart, but whatever he might be thinking, Danny wasn’t about to stay away from Amber. Just because they were brothers, didn’t mean he wouldn’t fight Ethan tooth and nail if he forced him away.

  Might as well confess it all, since Ethan had figured out the truth. It wouldn’t change a damn thing.

  “The word mate has crossed my mind once or twenty times.” He raised his chin in defiance and waited for the expected explosion.

  Ethan’s expression registered surprise seconds before he turned away, facing the surrounding woods. The moment of truth. Would Ethan be with him, or against him?

  “I had no idea,” was all he said.

  “Now you do.”

  Ethan faced him again and the two studied each other.

  “Yes, now I do.” His sigh filled the space between them. “What a shit show.”

  Danny’s laugh was humorless. Ethan had no idea. “You’re telling me.”

  “I won’t stand in your way. I know what it’s like to be torn from your mate–even if the rift between Gwen and me was my own making. No way would I do that to you. But I can’t speak for Jason or Laurie. Or Julie for that matter, but–”

  “I already know Jason and Laurie are going to be the most vocal. Why do you think I haven’t told any of you? I could have used some advice, but I couldn’t risk it.”

  “Don’t ever feel like you can’t come talk to us. Any of us.”

  Danny shrugged and started to turn away, but Ethan pulled him back around. “No, listen. Whatever else is going on, we will always be here for you.”

  “Even Jason and Laurie?” he asked. Because he knew, just as Ethan knew, Jason and Laurie would not support him in this. Their concern about Amber was too great.

  “They’ll yell a bit, but in the end, they’ll always have your back.” He paused. “But I will caution you about revealing too much to her too soon.”

  “Don’t worry.” He did understand caution. Even if Amber was his mate, she was still here on a mission and capable of exposing all shifters. Eventually, they’d have to meet in the middle, trust-wise. He didn’t know how or when. But for now, it was safer for all of them to stay on guard.

  “You’re my younger brother. It’s my job to worry. Especially when the path you’ve chosen is so difficult.” He clasped a hand on Danny’s shoulder. “I’ll head out and leave you two alone. And I won’t tell the others, but I expect you to. Soon.”

  Danny nodded, and Ethan took that as his cue to leave.

  As his car pulled away, Danny felt gratitude well up inside him. He’d expected condemnation, but had instead received understanding. It felt as though a weight lifted off his shoulders. His family would understand, and maybe they’d even come to see the Amber he saw when he looked at her. Because whatever she might be, she was meant to be a part of his life.

  “Oh, I thought you’d gone.”

  And there she was, looking perfect in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Her eyes still bore the signs of sleep, and her hair hadn’t yet been brushed.

  “I wouldn’t leave without saying good-bye,” he said as he bounded up the steps. Being around her made him feel like he was on top of the world. Just a whiff of her scent, or the sound of her voice, was enough to make him smile.

  But she took a step back when he approached, halting Danny in his tracks.

  “Danny…” She stopped and averted her gaze, staring into the darkness of the forest beside them. This wasn’t good.

  A low growl of displeasure escaped before he could stop it. Her eyes shot back to his in surprise. Then she shook her head as if it didn’t matter. “Danny, I think it would be best if we not see each other anymore.”

  The edge of his vision took on an altered hue and he knew he was close to losing it. So much for keeping his secret from her. He held his wolf back by the skin of his teeth.

  “It’s a small town. E
veryone sees everyone else here.”

  She blushed, but the stubborn look on her face remained. “I meant socially, not physically.”

  Trying to read the emotion in her eyes proved harder than he thought. She’d put up a wall between them. As strong as one built of brick and mortar. But he wasn’t about to give up. That morning, she’d come to him when she needed help. Filling him with such pride. He’d been so sure it had been a sign, that she felt the same pull he did. He didn’t understand this retreat when everything inside urged him forward.

  “Did I do something to upset you?” He wanted answers. Wanted to understand. And if bluntness would get them, he’d be blunt.

  “You should go.” She turned and walked inside. When she reached the door, she paused. “Goodbye, Danny.”

  Then she shut the new industrial-strength door between them. The door he’d installed so no one could get through it unless she let them in. But before she’d turned away, he’d caught something in her eyes. Something that told him not to give up. That all was not lost. Something that looked an awful lot like regret.

  Chapter 9

  Amber peered out her window and almost dropped her coffee. The man was gorgeous without his shirt off, all hard muscle with a slight dusting of hair that thickened as it ran in a line down his stomach before disappearing behind his jeans. She licked her lips as she saw a sheen of sweat glistening in the afternoon sun.

  Shaking her head, she stepped away from the curtains and tried to ignore the purr of the lawn mower. Frankly, she had no interest in what Danny thought he was doing here. She’d asked him to step away, and obviously he didn’t plan on honoring her request. If he had nowhere better to be on a Saturday, it was none of her business. She hadn’t asked him to do it, so she was under no obligation to acknowledge it or him.

  She sniffed and turned away, intent on getting back to the cookies she’d been baking. The depression she’d felt at breaking things off with Danny the day before had inspired a bit of a baking spree. She glanced at the tin of muffins and the three tier chocolate cake she’d baked earlier, then over her shoulder to the window where Danny pushed the lawnmower.

  It wasn’t as if she could, or even wanted to, eat all this food by herself. She liked sweets as much as the next girl, but there was such a thing as too much. And even if she had asked him to stay away, he was working hard. The sweat on his chest and forehead attested as much.

  She let loose a string of curses, gazing to the heavens and asking for strength, before crossing to the front door.

  At first, he didn’t notice her presence, but once he had, he shut off the mower and turned to face her. They stood staring at each other, neither wanting to be the first to speak.

  Finally, Amber could stand it no more.

  “Well come on in. The least I can do is feed you.” She turned and strode back inside, not bothering to see if he would follow.

  * * * *

  Danny grabbed another nail from his toolbox and placed it over the wobbly porch railing. He’d noted the unsteadiness in the posts the day before, and decided to work on it today. A two-day project if he took his time, which he fully intended to do. After all, there were only so many excuses he could use to come over here, and he wouldn’t want to run out of reasons to see Amber. Especially not when she rewarded him for his efforts so nicely. Not with the treats, although those were delicious. He could care less about the sweets. But whenever she fed him, or offered him a can of soda, she always waited with him while he ate. And usually after he was finished as well.

  So much for backing away. Although he had the feeling she still thought that was what she was doing. If she really wanted to cut him off, she would, and no amount of chores around her place, or time spent outside in the heat, would change that.

  The object of his musings came and sat in one of the wicker chairs on the porch, placing a pitcher of ice tea and two glasses on the small side table.

  “Don’t let the ice melt.”

  He glanced up as if startled to see her, but of course he’d known she was there. He always sensed when she was near.

  “Thank you,” he said as he sat in the chair next to hers.

  “What are you doing to the railing?”

  “It was a bit loose. Figured I could secure it and make it safer.”

  Her long sigh filled the space between them. “You don’t have to keep doing chores around here, you know. It makes it hard to ignore you.”

  He bit his lip to keep from smiling. “I’m sorry about that.” Which of course he wasn’t. “But as the only member of the welcoming committee, I feel it’s my duty to make sure you’re safe and comfortable here in Alpine Woods.”

  Finally, a smile cracked her stony exterior. “Are you always such a smart ass?”

  “Not at all. I’m usually quite serious. Guess you bring out the best in me.”

  Another drawn-out sigh. “I think you bring out the best in me, too,” she said under her breath, so quietly he might not have heard it at all had it not been for his improved shifter hearing.

  To hide his smile, Danny took a long gulp of iced tea and let the shocking cold coat his throat. At least he knew his plan to win Amber over by spending more time with her was working.

  * * * *

  The squeaking from the other room came again. Amber closed her laptop and took off her reading glasses. As quietly as possible, she hid her files beneath the false bottom of her bedside table. The cabin had come complete with furniture, but Amber brought a few pieces from home. Mostly because they provided good hiding places, but also for the comfort familiarity brought.

  No point getting her gun. The noise sounded more like a mouse than an intruder. Probably drawn to the warmth of the cabin or the smell of food. But it couldn’t stay. Not in her home.

  It didn’t take her long to discover it wasn’t a mouse. No sooner had she entered the main room, than she saw the source of the noise, and the person behind it. He looked so cute with his tongue between his teeth in concentration. A rag in one hand, and a bottle of Windex in the other.

  Not a day had passed since she’d pushed him away, without him showing up to do some odd chore around the cabin. She no longer bothered trying to ignore him. Hadn’t since the first few days, and even then she’d been unsuccessful. Offering him cake, or even simply a glass of water before she could think better of it.

  She wasn’t heartless, after all, and he was doing chores for her. Yet somehow, whenever she’d go out or he came in, an hour would come and go, maybe two. She wouldn’t even realize how much time had passed until he left.

  Next thing she knew, she was buying lemons at the store to make fresh lemonade. Not for herself, but for him.

  Sneaky bastard.

  Still, enough was enough. She stomped outside, letting the door slam shut behind her.

  “Really? Window washing. You’re seriously washing the windows? What’s next? Gonna clean out the gutters or maybe paint the shutters?”

  “Oooh, painting the shutters, I hadn’t thought of that one. Have to add it to the list. Cleaning the gutters was already on there.” Then he winked. Actually winked at her.

  “What list?” she demanded, narrowing her eyes at him. She should be friendlier, especially considering how hard he was working for her, both on her cottage and for her affections. But being around Danny so much while trying to hold herself back was hell on her nerves. Nerves which were already fried. How was she supposed to get over him when he was constantly there?

  “My list of chores to do around your place until I convince you to start dating me again.”

  He smiled that smile, the one reminded her of the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood as she scowled at him. Why Grandma, what big teeth you have.

  What kind of game was he playing? Most men would have given up by now. Except, she had invited him in pretty much every day. Damn her lack of willpower where he was concerned. All she’d done was lead him on.

  “That’s called stalking, you know. It’s illegal in all f
ifty states.”

  He assumed an innocent pose, clasping his hands over his chest. “Officer, I was just trying to help out. She’s a single woman in that old cottage all alone. All I did was mow the lawn and wash some windows. I have no idea why she called you.”

  Amber bit the inside of her cheek and pressed her lips tight before the smile could bloom. Just as she suspected…sneaky. And damned charming.

  “So what, you’re just going to show up every day and do chores until I go out with you again? Don’t you have a job or something?”

  “It’ll keep,” he said with a shrug.

  Guess that was one perk of owning his own business. Although his brothers must be ready to explode, considering it was their business too. It had been almost two weeks since he and Ethan had come to replace her door, and he’d spent every afternoon since with her. Not leaving most nights until the sun started to set.

  “Besides, I work at night to make up for lost time.”

  He said it nonchalantly. As if working all night so he could spend his afternoons with her was no big deal. Which, she realized with a start, it wasn’t to him. Spending time with her was that important.

  Heat pooled in her belly, and Amber turned to the side. The way Danny looked at her with such blatant affection… Would she ever get used to it? She kind of hoped she never did. Because it made her feel cherished. Loved. Even though she knew how silly those emotions were. It was too soon for him to be feeling anything of the sort.

  “What’s my motivation for agreeing to another date? I mean, I am getting a free gardener, a free handyman, a free window washer. I’m not seeing the motivating factor.” She teased, trying to regain her equilibrium. Easier said than done with Danny around.

  “Huh. You’re right. I should be breaking things, not fixing them.” He turned to her with such a serious expression, she choked on a laugh. “Do they sell weeds at gardening stores? Or do I have to pick some from someone else’s yard to plant here?”