“Ara?” Vicki stood beside me.
“Hm?” I looked away from the front door, shaking off that pleasant little shiver David left in me.
“Stop staring at nothing. Go to bed.”
“Oh. Right.” I rubbed my head. “Sorry.”
As I took the first step, Vicki gently grabbed my hand and smiled at me. “And by the way, David is a very lovely boy.”
“Thank you.” I smiled, gripping her hand for a second.
“And he’s more than welcome here anytime.”
“Cool.” I grinned and ran upstairs. I just wanted to be in his arms again. Having him in my room past bedtime was a real treat. I wasn’t going to waste even one second more talking to Vicki, even if she was actually being nice.
I flung my door open to a dark room, pushing it shut with my heel. “David?”
“Ara.” Dad pushed my door open then without even knocking and flicked on the light.
“Dad? What’s up?” I quickly checked around my room.
“Just wanted to say goodnight.” He smiled warmly, resting his shoulder on the doorframe.
“Oh. Well, you should’ve knocked, Dad. I was just about to get changed.”
He looked at my clothes, his eyes going wider. “Oh, I’m sorry, honey. I forget you’re all grown up now.”
“It’s okay.” I walked over and gave him a quick hug.
He kissed the top of my head, patting my hair, then stood back. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Night, Dad.”
“Night,” he said again and closed the door.
I spun around a few times, but the quiet emptiness of my room remained the same. I figured maybe David was waiting until my parents actually went to sleep before coming back. So, I took a shower, washed my hair, and slipped into my nice pajamas—the ones that actually matched—then jumped into bed to keep warm in the cooling air.
But the cold turned to frost and my tired eyes felt sandy by the time Dad and Vicki finally shut their door. Then, with a stealthy silence that even the cat on the end of my bed didn’t pay attention to, David slipped through my window, lifted the covers and snuggled down beside me, pulling me onto his chest. His jeans were cold against my legs and he smelled like grass and fresh air.
“Hello,” I whispered.
“Hello.”
“Mmm.” I breathed him in deep, finding a sweeter, more concentrated version of his scent underneath the smell of night, kind of like a Terry’s Orange Chocolate treat. “What’ve you been doing?” I asked. “Your arms are warmer than normal and you smell so nice.”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Were you hunting?”
“Would it bother you if I was?”
A minute’s silence passed in a second. “I’m not sure.”
“Just don’t think about it, sweetheart.” His long fingers swept my hair back over my forehead, leaving behind a chill.
“So that smell, it’s the blood you just had?”
He laughed a little. “Kind of. It’s how my body interprets the blood, which is unique for every vampire.”
“I like it.”
“That’s because you like me.”
“So it’s also why you’re so warm all of a sudden, then?”
“Yes.”
“Then why are your hands cold when the rest of you is so warm?” I traced a line over his index finger.
“Because it’s cold outside. I’ve been waiting for your dad to go to bed.”
“Why? He wouldn’t have known you were in here.”
“I wouldn’t be so certain about that, my love.”
“Mm. I like it when you call me that.” I smiled and slipped my fingertips under David’s shirt, resting them on his belly. “I like it even more in French.”
“I know,” he said.
“How do you know?” I’ve never let myself think that around you.
“Your body temperature changes when I speak French.”
“Hm.” My eyes narrowed with a disapproving grin. “I’m not sure I like that.”
“Don’t fall in love with a vampire then.” He kissed the top of my head.
“Okay. I’ll remember that next time.”
“You had better,” he said, sounding a bit British. “Staying human to be with a human is one thing, but if I ever find you in the arms of another vampire, I’ll turn you myself.”
“Duly noted.” I kissed his chest, smiling to myself. “What did you say when you were leaving tonight—when you said ‘Until then,’ and added a whole string of words I doubt were in English?”
He laughed once, combing his fingertips gently through the front of my hair. “Until then, you are in all my thoughts.”
“And then you went hunting?”
“Yes.”
“Do you think of me when you hunt?”
“Sometimes.” He let the word hang for a minute then added, “But not in the way you might think.”
“In what way?”
“I imagine you with me, enjoying the uh… the life of a vampire.” He paused and lifted his head off the pillow a little to look at me. “Does that bother you?”
“Not in the way you might think.”
“In what way then?”
“I’m not sure.” Maybe it bothered me that I couldn’t really picture him when he was gone. I mean, if he were human, I could picture him at home watching TV or eating dinner with his uncle. But no, my boyfriend had to go into dark alleyways and stalk my species. I didn’t want to picture myself beside him, enjoying the kill. I had tried a few times before, but it never felt right. My mind would always stand on the sidelines, seeing his victim; focusing on his lips as they parted, noting the way he’d hold her or pin her down like he did to me when I tried to scream that day. My blood would run hot watching, but not because I wanted her to die; it was because I wanted...
“Ara. Stop it!”
“What?”
“I can see that. I can see what you’re thinking.”
The blankets rustled under me as I sat up to look at David, blinking to focus in the dim moonlight. “Does it bother you? I mean, is it because I can picture it, or is it because I picture it wrong?”
“Neither of the above.”
“Well, what then?”
He grinned slowly. “It’s because you want to be the victim.”
I meshed my lips together. “Is that sick?”
“That’s it, isn’t it?” David sat up and grabbed my arm, squeezing it gently. “That’s what you were trying to tell me in the kitchen tonight—you want me to drink your blood?”
“Yeah. Kinda.”
“You’ve seen what my monster is capable of now, Ara, are you really that stupid?”
I held his gaze, letting my drumbeat heart fill the tense silence that surrounded us.
“I’ll never do it.” He dropped my arm and sat back.
“I’m sorry.” The awkward silence grew fatter and shrunk in around me. “It’s just that there’s this strange pull urging me to want it. I feel like I need your teeth against my flesh, I—”
“Ara, stop talking.”
“But I just need you to understand what I’m feeling.” I had to take a deep breath as I pictured it again. “It’s like sex and blood are—”
“Ara. I said stop talking!” he yelled, and disappeared.
My mouth hung open on the words I never finished. “What’s wrong?”
“You can’t think like that around me. It’s dangerous.” He leaned against my dresser with his arms folded. “I will never do that with you, so get the idea out of your head.”
Like a drop in my stomach, guilt, humiliation and rejection spread heat through my limbs until it formed a layer of tears in my eyes.
“Ara, don’t cry.” David appeared on the bed again, smoothing my hair from my face. “Please don’t think that I don’t want to drink your blood, mon amour. There are just so many reasons not to.”
“Like?”
“Well, I’d have to cut you,
for one. I can’t bite you, and I can’t use my venom to numb the flesh first.”
I looked up from his shoulder. “We could cut where no one would see?”
“How will that be any different? I still have to cut you.”
“I don’t care. Something’s happened inside me, David. I feel confused about it all. Like, it’s really gross when I think about it—the idea of drinking blood—but when I feel it…” I placed my hand in the center of my chest. “It just feels so right.”
“I know. And like I said to you in the closet at school, it’s only human to feel that way,” he said. “You’re instinctually drawn to me—to my bite.”
“But why?”
He shrugged. “Surely you’ve watched documentaries on animals and insects that kill by luring their prey?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I give off a sort of chemical that affects the way you would otherwise respond to me—”
“Like the spell of lust you were talking about?”
“Precisely. I’m technically luring you, you might say. So it isn’t really what you want, Ara, which is another reason I will never share blood with you.”
“But you’re not on the hunt, so you’re not luring me right now, are you?”
“No. Of course not.”
“Then why do I still want you to drink my blood?”
Beneath his smile, his white teeth gleamed. My eyes traced the sharp edges of his fangs and the straight lines of the front teeth, going a step too far in my thoughts for his liking.
“Maybe you’re more like my species than you care to admit.” After a long pause, David took a deep breath through his nose and let it out. “I’m sorry, Ara. Okay. I just don’t want to taint you any more than I already have. Sharing blood is one of the most intimate exchanges of passion. Lust and desire mean nothing in comparison to blood sharing. God knows I want to do that with you. I just…”
“Just?”
“Just… I won’t. Okay?”
My mouth filled with saliva as I looked at his neck. “I wish I knew what you tasted like.”
“I’ve been told it’s a little like milk with too much sugar.”
“What do you mean by told?”
“I’m pretty old, Ara. I have been with other—”
“Wait!” I held my hand up. “Don’t go there.”
“Okay.” He laughed. “I won’t. If you promise to drop this blood-sharing thing.”
I looked down at my hands. “Are you afraid you might kill me if we did it?”
“I don’t know.”
“Are you picturing it?”
“I’m trying not to.”
I watched his eyes, so lost to thoughts I wished I could be a part of. “Why don’t we just try it? Like, maybe just a small cut at first—”
“I said stop it, okay?” He firmly planted his hand to my shoulder. “I’m not going to hurt you like that.”
“Then I’ll do it myself.” I jumped off the bed and ran to my desk.
“What are you doing?” David seized my arm as I grabbed the scissors.
“I’m gonna do it myself. Then you don’t have to hurt me.”
“Ara, you’ve lost it. You’ve actually gone crazy. Give me those.” He snatched the scissors from my hand and threw them back in the drawer, slamming it shut.
“You’re right.” I sat down in my desk chair. Maybe all this had been too much for me. Maybe finding out about vampires was the last straw. Vicki warned me that the side effects of trauma and grief could manifest themselves in unusual ways—ways you might not recognize. But she was talking about things like promiscuity and drug use, right?
“This isn’t manifested grief, Ara. It’s a collection of thoughts and cravings over a period of time that have grown into desire,” said the voice of reason from beside me. “There’s nothing wrong with you aside from wanting to cut yourself open with scissors. But you have to drop this. All right?”
I nodded.
David ran his fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck, giving it a firm rub, then he grabbed his jacket off my desk and slipped it on. “Come on,” he said.
“Where’re we going?”
“We both need some fresh air.”
“Fresh air?”
“Yes.”
“And, where exactly are we going to get that from?” I asked, a little concerned when he scooped me up into his arms. “And how are you planning to get there?”
He smiled secretly, saying only, “You may want to cover your eyes.”
“Holy shi—” I rolled my face into his chest as we jolted forward and the cool of night wrapped us up, the wind moving beneath us like we were flying. We landed with a jolt, and though we weren’t moving anymore, I couldn’t bear to look at where we were.
“You okay?” he asked.
I think so.
“I’m going to put you down now, okay?”
“Okay.” I clung to his shirt as he set my bare feet to a cold, slanted surface, and a dewy breeze circled my ankles, howling a warning. “Are we up high?”
The kidnapper wrapped his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear, “Open your eyes. See for yourself.”
“Do I have to?” I shut them tighter.
“You’re not afraid of heights, are you, Ara?” He chuckled lightly.
“I’m going to kill you for this, David Knight.” But a breath of awe numbed my fears as I opened my eyes and saw the endless skyline trailing off to a dark blue horizon, where the hills that were gray in the day looked invisible under the scattered stars. “Wow, it’s so beautiful up here.”
He shrugged. “I come here all the time.”
“Is this where you spent the summer? Spying on me?”
“Yes,” he said with a cheeky grin, taking my hand to help me sit with my legs dangling over the slant of my dad’s roof. “But you know that was only while I was worried about you.”
“So you don’t do it anymore?”
“Ha! Ara, if I was going to be at your house, I’d be in your room with you, or I’d be at home leaving you to rest.”
I rested my head on his shoulder. “So, if I was depressed again, you’d stay with me more often?”
“No,” he laughed the word out. “You’re a little suicidal for me right now.”
I slapped his chest with the back of my hand. “Wanting to share blood with you is not suicidal.”
“Oh boy.” He shook his head, still laughing. “If you only knew the truth of what you do to me with your thoughts, my girl. You have no idea how close you’ve come to death, do you?”
A cold shiver raced down my spine and sent my heart back into my chest with a jump. But even after the eerie feeling subsided, the shaking remained and my teeth chattered together.
“You’re so human,” David remarked lightly, wrapping his jacket over my shoulders.
“And you’re so warm, like a human.” The heat within the leather felt like that warm spot in someone else’s bed after they get up, layered pleasantly with the scent of citrus and that woodsy smell his car had. I slipped my arms through the sleeves, and then moved to sit between his legs, lacing his arms tightly around my ribs.
“Are you frightened up here?” he whispered against the back of my ear.
“Not with you holding on to me.”
“You know I’d never let you fall, right?”
“Even if I do fall”—I yawned as I spoke—“I know you’ll be there to catch me.” I smiled, and as I looked at the eastern horizon, a flicker of silver glittered across the night sky. “Did you see that?”
“A shooting star.” David nodded. “Make a wish.”
With my eyes closed, I crossed my heart and wished that David would get the happy ending he longs for, no matter what happened from here.
“Why did you wish only for my happy ending?”
“Because then I know that even if our happy ending isn’t together, you’ll still be happy.”
He swallowed hard and looked away. “I thought you said
you were a selfish girl.”
“I am.” I shrugged. “I didn’t wish for world peace.”
“My darling,” he scoffed, “there are more than enough people in the world to wish for that. But it requires sacrifice and tolerance, not hopes and prayers.”
“Like us,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, happiness is a possibility for us—we can be together. It just means a sacrifice on one side.”
“No, just tolerance on yours.”
“You can’t ask a human to tolerate the death of another human. That isn’t fair.”
“But your species kill each other all the time.”
“I don’t. Not personally.”
“Okay, well you tolerate the death of animals for your nutrition.”
“Spoken like a vampire.” I smiled ruefully.
“Well, my love, I am a vampire. Get used to it.” He kissed my temple.
“Bite me,” I scoffed.
“Don’t tempt me, young lady,” he said with a laugh, “your death wish may just become a reality.”
I rolled my eyes. “So… if you drank my blood and we made love after, I could get pregnant?”
He coughed out loudly. “What?”
“You said, when you were washing the dishes tonight, that it isn’t entirely true about not being able to have children with a vampire?”
“Oh.” He wiped his hand across his jaw, shaking his head. “Well, it’s rare. You would’ve heard of it in your much-loved mythology: the incubus and the succubus.”
“Is that real?”
“In a way. It’s not like the horror stories, though. Supposedly, the babies are mostly human—not immortal. They can survive on less blood than vampires, but still require food. I’m not sure how it works for female vampires. None of the girls I’ve ever known have fallen pregnant, but for males, we can still, you know”—he shrugged—“we can still create life. There’s a rumor among my Set that my uncle has a half-blood son.”
“Why wouldn’t you tell me about this, David?” I asked softly. “You know my plans to have kids is one of the reasons I can’t promise you eternity.”
“Yes, but it’s not the only reason.” He moved his stubbly cheek down mine. “I didn’t think it necessary to tell you.”
Dark Secrets Box Set Page 36